ando68

Hi all,,
Just checking in before I head out the door to work. Went to a lifering meeting last night to help strengthen my commitment to sobriety. Ill never forget my last bender and where it left me physically & emotionally,, keeping this fresh in my mind helps counter the AV for me.
I'm glad I'm sober today as my life is far better without it,, nothing but heartache for me with drink & drugs.
Have a good one.

SoberMarathon

Thanks for the advice, Dee. I'm not going to lose this battle. Like a friend told me last night, 'Rome wasn't built in a day'. I fell down briefly, dusted myself off, and got right back on the wagon. Learned my lesson, not going to repeat history again!

safeandsound

I am so pissed right now I could hit someone, namely my husband. He has refused to go to the doctor for years, but I finally got him to do it. He has severe sleep apnia. He needs surgery, but first they do a sleep test. Tonight was the night of the test. So instead of acting like a normal 37 year old man, he decides it's a good night to go play GERPS (super nerdfest game) and drink all night!!! He has the test exactly one night then has to return it to the hospital. He came in at 3:30 a.m. RRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr!

He always claims he's not as bad as me because he doesn't black out. He actually has, but about once every 6 months instead of most days in a week like I do. He almost never gets mean, either, unlike me. But that doesn't change the fact it is affecting his life.

I know I act irresponsibly at times, but even drinking I manage to keep important appointments like this. This is not the first time we've fought about his general laidback attitude and failure to meet deadlines. Even if I do things with one eye closed, they get done.

I was so happy he finally took action. Then he blew it. Part of this is the moodiness of new sobriety. Sorry for the long post. Does anyone else have a spouse/partner still drinking????

Dee74

I'm sorry safeandsound...I don't blame you for being annoyed.

Do you think maybe, deep down, he was a bit scared about the test or he just lost himself in the boys night out?

D

TryingHarder

Good morning. Day 2 here. I've been reading here and checking out AA meeting places and times since yesterday morning. One thing I know about myself is that planning is fine but unless I execute I'm just setting myself up for failure. Again. So I'm hitting at 8 pm meeting tonight and will keep doing that until I can get my work hours changed and get to the 4 pm meeting I want to go to.

sicknote

This is going to be day 5 fro me!!! Holly crap! It would be day 6 if I included the hangover day, but I've decided that day doesn't count.

I am starting to think that maybe I'm not an alcoholic, and that I'm just a bit depressed and stuff, and maybe I should just focus on fixing that bit. But I'm also worried that this is just an excuse for me to drink again

sicknote

johnny555 - I've been drinking sporadically and takings meds. Its not good. The pain I've felt the next day is horrible.

TryingHarder - I've been trying meetings, its not 'clicked' with me yet, but people say I wont know unless I try. Just 'try it on for size for a bit and see if it fits', thats what some people have told me.

sicknote

trikyriky

Good morning ,

Misterritter : I can so relate to the mixed feelings. I feel the same as I begin day 5
My AV's always there trying to trick me up . Yesterday it was " yea ok you got to 4 days , lets party " then i did text my dealer and he didn't answer . Thank god. I had a weak moment , I need to be stronger. It's a tough time , early on. It will get better. Good day every one.

Dee74

Our mind will tell Us anything to get us to go back to our ways I think.

I was telling myself I was just depressed and in a bad phase when I was drinking every day all day for 5 years.

The fact is we all know where drinking or drugs gets us - it's time to try another way, yeah?

D

wasgone

Good Morning - Day 6 for me. Depression is lifting, although it comes and goes quarter-hourly. But it's more going than coming and staying like it was 5 days ago. sheeeeshe.

How's the rest of the class today?

serenityforever

I introduced myself last night and am just checking in this morning. Happy to be sober and smoke free today. Enjoy your day.

Leshar

Hello everyone, hi to all the newcomers!

I'm happy to be starting Day 14. Still feel really groggy on awakening, plan to talk to my doctor about that.
I'm otherwise ok, managing, although I don't do well with the heat and humidity, it knocks me out, guess most ppl are like that.
Have a good one, all!

sunnyc5

Hi All and Sobermarathon I can ID with you...yesterday was hell for me anxiety painc attacks permanent tight feeling in my chest and feeling like I just wanted to go to bed and not wake up....WHY DO WE DO IT????????? I cant take this mental agony anymore I WILL stay sober this time, I am going to use all the resourse at my disposal..... meetings/here/family/ vitamins/ therapist . I HATE ALCOHOL it is like that abusive ex who wont take no for an answer and like many victims of abuse we are too quick to give it a second chance

Ladybug2

Good Morning class!

Welcome to all of the new members!

Day 17 and still worrying about getting through Friday (when my hubby is gone). I don't know what AV is thinking? Hubby is only gone for the day so it's not like I can sit here, drink all day, and hide it from him when he gets home? I used to be pretty good at "acting" sober, which is why my husband and mom were surprised by my drinking habits (when I came clean). I switched from wine to vodka because hubby could always smell wine on me. For some reason I could sip on vodka all day, pop altoids (breath mints) and he rarely smelled it? Just writing this makes me realize I don't want to go back to those games (hiding it, acting sober, etc). It is stressful and exhausting.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Hope everyone has a great and sober Tuesday. For anyone struggling, just remember to "play the tape forward" and think about where that first drink will lead, not mention the awful hangover tomorrow morning

safeandsound

Dee, thanks. I do think he's nervous since it measures heart rate and he drinks and smokes and has heart disease in the family (in addition to apnea--I recruited his dad to talk to him during our vacation about how dangerous apnea is. Maybe I should go easier on him? It's just hard right now because he can drink without consequences. I know I'm way worse And I don't want to drink. No urge at the moment but worried since anger is a huge trigger for me. brings out my f*** it attitude. I don't know;,these mood swings are rough. I got three hours of sleep and off to work

lessgravity

Day 4 here. Congrats everyone. Let's stay on this one this time.

desertsweetpea

Starting over after 15 days sober. My head hurts, I slept terribly and I'm disappointed.

Brian316

Day 15 here!

pattylulu

Hello Class of July, I am on day 6 off benzos. I have been off & on , this time feels different, I really going for it. I need so much support, it is a terribly stressful time in my life to quit. I was in another class before. I hope I can be helpful to others in class too

SoberMarathon

Day 2 winding down and headed to AA. Forcing myself to go share my screw-up from the weekend. Maybe in the long run its just a minor 24hr blip but still feel like I'm starting over, yet again. That's the worst feeling, starting over. If I keep starting over, my wife will give up on me, I'm sure of that. I already understand how disappointed she is that I drank on the weekend. They lose all respect for the alcoholic trying to get things right, question if we are really sincere or not, etc. I'm not sure they can really understand the struggle and just how hard it is to become completely sober and then maintain it. Not their fault, really, just makes it even tougher knowing they are just as frustrated with the situation. Time, real permanent sober time, is the only fix in my situation. Once again, I wish I could fast forward this part...pathetic Day 2.