Class of May 2012 part 20
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Hey Sassy,
Thats GRRREAT! Let us know when it is getting close to 60 days so we can throw a proper Mayan celebration (the 2013 kind not 2000BC one).
mayancarvers.jpg
Although maybe we can combine the two and sacrifice the Beast
Thats GRRREAT! Let us know when it is getting close to 60 days so we can throw a proper Mayan celebration (the 2013 kind not 2000BC one).
mayancarvers.jpg
Although maybe we can combine the two and sacrifice the Beast
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
HRB-you sound great!!!! Really good to hear you're getting out and about and being active. Although the running thing........I'd get a cab if it were me. 7 miles?? That's just crazy....
Day 1 no smoking almost in the bag. I did have a huge craving on the drive back from work but I've done some urge surfing since I got home. I'm actually using AVRT to quit. Nothing has worked for me so far and I really want to be rid of this, I know it will kill me. What's the point of getting sober just to kill myself with nicotine? So that's it, I'm a non-smoker now.
Hope everyone is well.
Em?? SJD where are you both?xxx
Day 1 no smoking almost in the bag. I did have a huge craving on the drive back from work but I've done some urge surfing since I got home. I'm actually using AVRT to quit. Nothing has worked for me so far and I really want to be rid of this, I know it will kill me. What's the point of getting sober just to kill myself with nicotine? So that's it, I'm a non-smoker now.
Hope everyone is well.
Em?? SJD where are you both?xxx
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Jeni, sorry for the bad day. Congrats on not smoking. Tats the one addiction I haven't beat. I was a no smoker for 3 years, even then I had at least weekly cravings.
Well, I took my friend, who is in her 60s, to her first NA meeting last night. I wanted to melt into my chair. There was so much swearing. Almost every other word was four letters. Even the out of town speaker, who was a 50 year old female, used it once a sentence. Oh, she also bashed Mormons. My friend is a non-practicing member of the Latter-Day Saints. I also had a house inspection when the land lady came to look at carpet samples with us. No fun.
Today is a routine doctors appointment and that's it. I plan on being a homebody playing games on my iPad today. Thats my way of saying I just want a lazy day. I think after yesterday I earned it.
Well, I took my friend, who is in her 60s, to her first NA meeting last night. I wanted to melt into my chair. There was so much swearing. Almost every other word was four letters. Even the out of town speaker, who was a 50 year old female, used it once a sentence. Oh, she also bashed Mormons. My friend is a non-practicing member of the Latter-Day Saints. I also had a house inspection when the land lady came to look at carpet samples with us. No fun.
Today is a routine doctors appointment and that's it. I plan on being a homebody playing games on my iPad today. Thats my way of saying I just want a lazy day. I think after yesterday I earned it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Shock - So glad that you are doing better today. I can relate so well to the swearing that goes on in AA meetings and there is absolutely no reason for it. People laugh and seem to encourage it. I can understand if someone is upset, but to just do it as a normal part of the conversation is offensive. I am glad you have a nice, relaxing evening planned. I enjoy those type of evenings too!
Sas - It's wonderful to see you so positive Although, your posts have always lifted me!
Jeni - You are sounding so strong. And quitting smoking too! I will have to wait sometime before I tackle that addiction.
HRB - It sounds like you had a delightful day. That's so good to hear that you enjoyed your day off. I will say I am glad your friend stood up for you when the other fellow said he wanted to see you drunk. I wonder if you can steer clear of the guy that wanted to see you drunk in the future.
Wehave2day - Do you have any big plans to celebrate your milestone of 90 days of sobriety? I know that was a very big deal for me.
Thank you all for your concern about my ongoing fatigue issues. My older sister suffers from sleep issues as does my twin sister. My twin thinks it is hereditary. I suspect it might be a host of different issues. I have always had fatigue issues, but nothing like I have experienced in the past two years. I think part of it is hereditary, part of it is menopause and part of it may be PAWS. Insommnia, fuzzy head and fatigue are all symptoms of early sobriety. They say these symptoms can go on for a year or more. I had eliminated my second cup of coffee the past few days and did feel better as a result. At any rate, today is a good for me and for that I am very grateful. I am going to my service position tonight and looking forward to it. I am also meeting my sponsor to go over the first step. I have spent a lot of time with both sponsors going over the first three steps in two different workbooks, the twelve and twelve and the big book. So, I am really looking forward to going over my work.
Wishing everyone a wonderful Thursday
Sas - It's wonderful to see you so positive
Although, your posts have always lifted me!Jeni - You are sounding so strong. And quitting smoking too! I will have to wait sometime before I tackle that addiction.
HRB - It sounds like you had a delightful day. That's so good to hear that you enjoyed your day off. I will say I am glad your friend stood up for you when the other fellow said he wanted to see you drunk. I wonder if you can steer clear of the guy that wanted to see you drunk in the future.
Wehave2day - Do you have any big plans to celebrate your milestone of 90 days of sobriety? I know that was a very big deal for me.
Thank you all for your concern about my ongoing fatigue issues. My older sister suffers from sleep issues as does my twin sister. My twin thinks it is hereditary. I suspect it might be a host of different issues. I have always had fatigue issues, but nothing like I have experienced in the past two years. I think part of it is hereditary, part of it is menopause and part of it may be PAWS. Insommnia, fuzzy head and fatigue are all symptoms of early sobriety. They say these symptoms can go on for a year or more. I had eliminated my second cup of coffee the past few days and did feel better as a result. At any rate, today is a good for me and for that I am very grateful. I am going to my service position tonight and looking forward to it. I am also meeting my sponsor to go over the first step. I have spent a lot of time with both sponsors going over the first three steps in two different workbooks, the twelve and twelve and the big book. So, I am really looking forward to going over my work.
Wishing everyone a wonderful Thursday
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Good evening, Mayans!
I'm doing a bit more everyday. I found out today that pathology said I had "chronic cholecystitis" so yes, my gallbladder did have to come out. Fortunately it was not an emergency and so was much safer.
Jeni, so great that you can feel all of those emotions and not want to drink! And good luck with quitting smoking. I found that so very satisfying. My biggest revelation was when I discovered I was saving enough money by not smoking that I could afford a car payment on a new car (had the down payment). That was an amazing way of looking at it and helped spur me to keep on going.
Rock, buddy, I'm so glad you are "feeling like a real person again" and great going with the guys from work. I didn't like the sound of "I want to see you drunk sometime" but it sounds like he may be somewhat insensitive. Love your ideas of how to help FP with the lawn situation. Sadly it would probably turn into our helping FP with the "neighbor situation" when they get ready to run FP out of town on a rail (based on your description of the pics, lol). I'm really looking forward to celebrating my 60 days -- it feels rather exciting! Sacrificing the beast would be most appropriate.
Shock, it sounds like you just had a rotten day yesterday. I agree that the swearing can become very wearing. I doubt your friend blamed you for that! Is there another NA meeting that might work? Bashing people, religions, etc. doesn't feel right at all. It sounds like the landlady was looking over her place? Nothing wrong with taking a lazy day today. I've been taking lots of them. I assume Oscar is keeping you company?
Tanja, I'm glad you're able to go to your service position tonight. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the fatigue issues improve.
WeHav, I hope you are having a good day, grrrrl :-)
OLL, congrats on having a 7-mile jog named after you
FP, your neighbors will probably really appreciate (not!) Rock's latest creative fantasies about your yard :-)
And Bloss, Kitty, Auden, Emily, Lee, SJD, Michael (and anyone I may have inadvertently missed) - may your days be sober and happy!
Dee, have a good night's sleep!
I'm off to dreamland, then a busy weekend and back to work 2 half days next week.
lots of love and hugs!
Sass
I'm doing a bit more everyday. I found out today that pathology said I had "chronic cholecystitis" so yes, my gallbladder did have to come out. Fortunately it was not an emergency and so was much safer.
Jeni, so great that you can feel all of those emotions and not want to drink! And good luck with quitting smoking. I found that so very satisfying. My biggest revelation was when I discovered I was saving enough money by not smoking that I could afford a car payment on a new car (had the down payment). That was an amazing way of looking at it and helped spur me to keep on going.
Rock, buddy, I'm so glad you are "feeling like a real person again" and great going with the guys from work. I didn't like the sound of "I want to see you drunk sometime" but it sounds like he may be somewhat insensitive. Love your ideas of how to help FP with the lawn situation. Sadly it would probably turn into our helping FP with the "neighbor situation" when they get ready to run FP out of town on a rail (based on your description of the pics, lol). I'm really looking forward to celebrating my 60 days -- it feels rather exciting! Sacrificing the beast would be most appropriate.
Shock, it sounds like you just had a rotten day yesterday. I agree that the swearing can become very wearing. I doubt your friend blamed you for that! Is there another NA meeting that might work? Bashing people, religions, etc. doesn't feel right at all. It sounds like the landlady was looking over her place? Nothing wrong with taking a lazy day today. I've been taking lots of them. I assume Oscar is keeping you company?
Tanja, I'm glad you're able to go to your service position tonight. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the fatigue issues improve.
WeHav, I hope you are having a good day, grrrrl :-)
OLL, congrats on having a 7-mile jog named after you
FP, your neighbors will probably really appreciate (not!) Rock's latest creative fantasies about your yard :-)
And Bloss, Kitty, Auden, Emily, Lee, SJD, Michael (and anyone I may have inadvertently missed) - may your days be sober and happy!
Dee, have a good night's sleep!
I'm off to dreamland, then a busy weekend and back to work 2 half days next week.
lots of love and hugs!
Sass
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
hope everyone's well and happy! kind of sort of had time to read this crazy workapalooza is taking over. day 3 down... not going to complain though, i'm happy to have a job I love. even though the oh-so-fun local politics means that my whole department is on the chopping block for the 2nd time in 5 years. chances are it's posturing and there are definitely cuts coming down the pike, but most likely not jobs. hopefully... not gonna sweat it again this time. just do my best and cross fingers. :-)
will catch up when the crazy ends... thanks jeni, sassy, rockstar :-) and have a great, sober day everyone!
will catch up when the crazy ends... thanks jeni, sassy, rockstar :-) and have a great, sober day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Wehav-crazy workapalooza??...love that expression. Think I'm going to introduce it to everyone I know. It will spread across England now... Well done for being laid back about possible changes at work, that is so grown up and sensible. Proud of you girrrrrl xxxx
Tanja, I'd forgotten you have a twin. That is so cool. I hope you have a good meeting my friend xxx
Sassy, you're sounding great. I love your daily up-dates, keep them coming xxx
Shock...yeah the swearing, I know what you mean. I think in some of the meetings I go to there is a sort of bravado, an acting out of wanting the appear the toughest, meanest, most streetwise kind of drunk, and the swearing is just a part of that. I've been to a few meetings where they have completely banned it, my Friday night step study meeting being one of them. It doesn't particularly bother me, but I know it does some people. Hope you managed to have a relaxing day xxx
Yay, it's Friday. What a heavy week work wise...and next week's diary is already filled with difficult meetings. I'm worn out. Totally. But hey...day 2 of not smoking beckons so I'd better just zip up my boots and put on my smile and get going with my day!
Lots of love to you all
Xxx
Tanja, I'd forgotten you have a twin. That is so cool. I hope you have a good meeting my friend xxx
Sassy, you're sounding great. I love your daily up-dates, keep them coming xxx
Shock...yeah the swearing, I know what you mean. I think in some of the meetings I go to there is a sort of bravado, an acting out of wanting the appear the toughest, meanest, most streetwise kind of drunk, and the swearing is just a part of that. I've been to a few meetings where they have completely banned it, my Friday night step study meeting being one of them. It doesn't particularly bother me, but I know it does some people. Hope you managed to have a relaxing day xxx
Yay, it's Friday. What a heavy week work wise...and next week's diary is already filled with difficult meetings. I'm worn out. Totally. But hey...day 2 of not smoking beckons so I'd better just zip up my boots and put on my smile and get going with my day!
Lots of love to you all
Xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 382
60days of sobriety today. I bought myself a gorgeous new blazer to celebrate.
I have a lot of family stuff going on right now that is keeping me away from the internet. It's not my story to share but my sobriety is not being hurt.
Miss you guys!
I have a lot of family stuff going on right now that is keeping me away from the internet. It's not my story to share but my sobriety is not being hurt.
Miss you guys!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Way to go SJD!!!
I've got sad news to share - I slipped two days ago and drank myself silly. Still digging out of the depression hole. I had to call in sick to work yesterday. I am so so disappointed in myself!
I could come up with a million excuses but it comes down to being fooled by that demon alcohol. I let temptation get to me.
I can't share with anyone close to me and that weighs on me too. I am sober now and will be with family this weekend and not tempted to drink. I'm so scared that I will always have to feel this way though. Love to you all, sorry for letting you down.
I've got sad news to share - I slipped two days ago and drank myself silly. Still digging out of the depression hole. I had to call in sick to work yesterday. I am so so disappointed in myself!
I could come up with a million excuses but it comes down to being fooled by that demon alcohol. I let temptation get to me.
I can't share with anyone close to me and that weighs on me too. I am sober now and will be with family this weekend and not tempted to drink. I'm so scared that I will always have to feel this way though. Love to you all, sorry for letting you down.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
(((Kittycat))), please don't beat yourself up! Slipping is definitely not fun but you haven't lost all you have achieved. Jump right back into FP's pink Lambo with the solid gold tusks that I'm borrowing with the rest of us. If it will help and FP doesn't mind, I can lend it to you. We love you and are here to support you.
Lots of love and hugs,
Sass
Lots of love and hugs,
Sass
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Originally Posted by Soberjanedoe 
60days of sobriety today. I bought myself a gorgeous new blazer to celebrate.
I have a lot of family stuff going on right now that is keeping me away from the internet. It's not my story to share but my sobriety is not being hurt.
Miss you guys!
I have a lot of family stuff going on right now that is keeping me away from the internet. It's not my story to share but my sobriety is not being hurt.
Miss you guys!
WeHav, always good to hear how life is going for you. I think we tend to take things more in stride when we are sober. I'm seeing that with all of our Mayans and especially with you and OLL. I hope the crazies quiet down soon! Love your name for Rock "Rockstar" he certainly is :-)
Jeni, I'm so proud of you for jumping back in the pool to quit smoking. It sounds like you are overloaded right now. When will summer break start? It sounds to me like you need some serious down time.
Happy Friday to all!
Lots of love and hugs,
Sass
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
I'm honored about the run HRB!
Grats on60 days SJD!
Jeni hope your week ends on a light note.
I am so glad it's Friday. Work is crap. Bathroom renovation is underway and is bringing its own frustrations. I have an obligatory social event tonight. But I see the light of freedom that tomorrow brings, and I'm holding on to that. I think I need to post in the whiners thread more. I have not been the work I should be doing on my anxiety and I now that's affecting my mood and outlook. So I'll get back on that. Hope everyone is well.
Grats on60 days SJD!
Jeni hope your week ends on a light note.
I am so glad it's Friday. Work is crap. Bathroom renovation is underway and is bringing its own frustrations. I have an obligatory social event tonight. But I see the light of freedom that tomorrow brings, and I'm holding on to that. I think I need to post in the whiners thread more. I have not been the work I should be doing on my anxiety and I now that's affecting my mood and outlook. So I'll get back on that. Hope everyone is well.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Kitty I started my post hours ago so didn't see yours until after I sent mine. I am so sorry to hear about your slip. Keep it to a slip and dont let it turn into a full blown relapse. Maybe you need to add something to your sobriety plan to keep steady for the long haul, like deciding to share with people close to you or going to any type of sobriety meetings. This can be life or death so do what you must do to save your life. We're here for you. Big hugs.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Athens, Greece
Posts: 25
nearly the end of day 7 - one whole week without a drink.
So pleased with myself and i'm even feeling a lot better today too. Had a playdate with a friend & her kids at her house today, at 6pm she cracked the wine and I resisted although since i've come home that craving has kicked in bad.
So i guess this is the next stage, now that the physical symptoms are much better, now the mental struggle starts! I think this is more difficult because I just WANT a drink....
Hope you're all doing well Class of May and have a peaceful & sober weekend.
So pleased with myself and i'm even feeling a lot better today too. Had a playdate with a friend & her kids at her house today, at 6pm she cracked the wine and I resisted although since i've come home that craving has kicked in bad.
So i guess this is the next stage, now that the physical symptoms are much better, now the mental struggle starts! I think this is more difficult because I just WANT a drink....
Hope you're all doing well Class of May and have a peaceful & sober weekend.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Thanks Sas and OLL. Your words mean everything. I'm paranoid, lonely, scared, all of it. I know I need more help I guess, but what gets me everytime is maintaining over time when the regular stuff in life gets me down. As we all know very well, life isn't simple when we quit, right? My slips happen when I buy into the whole mirage that drinking will help me escape myself or my life. Which it does temporarily but then comes crashing down on me. I feel weak and worthless right now. I know it will get better but that's how I feel.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
SJD-well done on your 60 days, so pleased for you xxx
Kitty-I'm so sad for you, please don't give up hope...you CAN do this. Sometimes it takes many attempts before we crack it. We've all been fooled by the mirage sometimes. That pull of alcohol can be so hard to break. Take time to think about what to do next, perhaps you need to shake it up a little? Add something to your recovery plan. We are always here for you my friend. We all understand the misery of relapse and the accompanying anxiety and depression, but it does pass in time. You can feel good about yourself again. Remember how good you felt with a little sober time? That was the real you. The anxious and lonely kitty is the one that alcohol created. Kick it into touch. We will help and support all we can. Am sending a big hug and lots of love to you xxxx
OLL-you are doing well with lots of things going on. Renovations in the house mean things are cluttered and out of sync, and that makes us unsettled. Work is a downright pain in the butt. I know that for sure. But everything will pass and you will get back on track. Feel free to moan, I do it enough. It helps me xxx
To all my lovely May gang, remember we stick together in good and bad times always... We are strong together, please remember to post if you are struggling. I have never found such a lovely supportive group of people in my life xxx
Love you all
Kitty-I'm so sad for you, please don't give up hope...you CAN do this. Sometimes it takes many attempts before we crack it. We've all been fooled by the mirage sometimes. That pull of alcohol can be so hard to break. Take time to think about what to do next, perhaps you need to shake it up a little? Add something to your recovery plan. We are always here for you my friend. We all understand the misery of relapse and the accompanying anxiety and depression, but it does pass in time. You can feel good about yourself again. Remember how good you felt with a little sober time? That was the real you. The anxious and lonely kitty is the one that alcohol created. Kick it into touch. We will help and support all we can. Am sending a big hug and lots of love to you xxxx
OLL-you are doing well with lots of things going on. Renovations in the house mean things are cluttered and out of sync, and that makes us unsettled. Work is a downright pain in the butt. I know that for sure. But everything will pass and you will get back on track. Feel free to moan, I do it enough. It helps me xxx
To all my lovely May gang, remember we stick together in good and bad times always... We are strong together, please remember to post if you are struggling. I have never found such a lovely supportive group of people in my life xxx
Love you all
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Dear Kitty, I've been in your shoes too many times. You are the only person who can decide if you need more help. Before I could stay sober, I needed to understand that I wasn't a worthless person when I slipped. I hope that this time will be forever and though I feel that it will be, I've seen too many people feel that way and still slip at some point.
For me, I almost feel like I needed to learn how to slip without feeling crushed by guilt and feelings of worthlessness. I'm in no way recommending how I went about doing that but it did teach me some valuable lessons:
1. I am worthwhile
2. I deserve to be sober and strong so I can meet the challenges life throws at me
3. I deserve to be sober and healthy so I won't die prematurely from liver failure or one of the many health nasties that alcohol contributes to
4. I can only focus on today.
5. I don't consider drinking to be a viable option for me. If I have one drink, I am not able to stop there. That isn't a character weakness, rather it is a reality that will always be there in my addicted brain.
I don't want to be obsessive about counting days because then, for me, it becomes too easy to think about "rewarding myself" with a celebratory drink (there's the AV talking).
Each of us can take ideas from others but ultimately we have to travel our own path. I believe you are doing that, Kitty and this is a bump in the road you will overcome.
Lots of love and (((hugs)))
Sass
For me, I almost feel like I needed to learn how to slip without feeling crushed by guilt and feelings of worthlessness. I'm in no way recommending how I went about doing that but it did teach me some valuable lessons:
1. I am worthwhile
2. I deserve to be sober and strong so I can meet the challenges life throws at me
3. I deserve to be sober and healthy so I won't die prematurely from liver failure or one of the many health nasties that alcohol contributes to
4. I can only focus on today.
5. I don't consider drinking to be a viable option for me. If I have one drink, I am not able to stop there. That isn't a character weakness, rather it is a reality that will always be there in my addicted brain.
I don't want to be obsessive about counting days because then, for me, it becomes too easy to think about "rewarding myself" with a celebratory drink (there's the AV talking).
Each of us can take ideas from others but ultimately we have to travel our own path. I believe you are doing that, Kitty and this is a bump in the road you will overcome.
Lots of love and (((hugs)))
Sass
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
I hate that mirage kitty!! I read every day in the newcomers section, and over and over there are posts from people who thought they'd give drinking another shot, couldn't fight anymore, or for whatever reason, they have recently drank and how upset they are. And I read it so often that drinking has forever (hopefully) been mentally linked with misery. I can no longer think of all the good things, romanticized, about drinking, without immediately seeing myself hungover, anxious, and regretful. I don't know how often you pop into SR on the whole, but if face to face support is not an option, maybe trying to read around here more often will keep that link in your mind too for the long term. You are worth it. Try I treat yourself well.
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