Class of May 2012 part 20
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I know I just posted but something is bothering me and I thought I'd ask for any opinions as well as fully disclose. I ordered a salad at a restaurant yesterday and it came with balsamic vinegraitte. I've heard and read online mixed things about whether or not there is alcohol in balsamic vinegar. So I specifically asked what else they had and one of them was oil and vinegar. I assumed regular vinegar. When it came, the vinegar was pink. I felt stupid asking for something else different so put it on. When I took my first bite, it had a strong taste and I thought maybe it was just very vinegary, but considered there may be alcohol in it. I told myself to calm down and that I was probably just being crazy/anxious. I took maybe four more bites. But I didn't feel comfortable with it so I didn't eat any more. But of course, something perfectionistic inside of me is being really mean and trying to make me feel like now I won't really have a year of sobriety. I didn't get a buzz. I didn't crave a drink. I didn't even enjoy eating the five bites I had because I was afraid there was alcohol in it.
It didn't trigger you or make you crave...
I take my recovery very seriously but I din;t want to be a zealot about it either. I got sober to live live, not be obsessed with my recovery.
I'd be surprised if there's anyone here who hasn't eaten something alcoholic, intentionly or otherwise, or mistakenly taken a sip, or used an alcohol mouthwash or medication, or even a deodorant or cologne with alcohol in it.
I think you're good OLL.If there's a lesson at all, it's that you're paying for the meal - get exactly what you want
D
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I didn't ask if there was alcohol was in it. I tried to ask for what I thought didn't contain alcohol but still ended up with something I realized could have contained alcohol. But I get your point nonetheless Dee. I still get a year in a couple weeks?
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
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Hey OLL. It's my usual 2.30 am panic time myself here. Logged on to find my lovely friend having her own panic!!!
You're good, no need to worry, right on track for your years sobriety.....
I took a mouthful of a dessert a while back that I'm pretty sure had some alcohol in it. Gave me a bit of anxiety too. But it didn't make me rush out and buy vodka, it wasn't intentional, I stopped when I suspected it had a dash of something in it I shouldn't be eating. And although I felt a bit wobbly for a while, guilty even for something that wasn't my fault, I talked myself down.
Deep breaths, all is well, we're almost at our year my lovely friend. Big hugs xxxxxxxxxx
Now I'm going back to try and sleep for a while. Night night xxx
You're good, no need to worry, right on track for your years sobriety.....
I took a mouthful of a dessert a while back that I'm pretty sure had some alcohol in it. Gave me a bit of anxiety too. But it didn't make me rush out and buy vodka, it wasn't intentional, I stopped when I suspected it had a dash of something in it I shouldn't be eating. And although I felt a bit wobbly for a while, guilty even for something that wasn't my fault, I talked myself down.
Deep breaths, all is well, we're almost at our year my lovely friend. Big hugs xxxxxxxxxx
Now I'm going back to try and sleep for a while. Night night xxx
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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I'm having one of those nights I just want to curl up in a ball and sob.
No idea why, no bad dreams that I can remember, just total and overwhelming sadness.
Sitting in the garden at 3 am is a lonely place to be. Will I ever be normal?
No idea why, no bad dreams that I can remember, just total and overwhelming sadness.
Sitting in the garden at 3 am is a lonely place to be. Will I ever be normal?
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It took me 40 years to get to the level of abnormal I finished at.
It took me probably a year of working at stuff to get over some of the major roadblocks in my head.
I still think thats a pretty good deal, all up.
You may not see it now but you've come a long ay Jeni - see what the morning brings
It took me probably a year of working at stuff to get over some of the major roadblocks in my head.
I still think thats a pretty good deal, all up.
You may not see it now but you've come a long ay Jeni - see what the morning brings
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
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((((Jeni))))) sorry you can't sleep, dear. so sorry you are sad. you have so much going for you right now. you are almost a year sober. you are dealing with a lot, with a ton of grace. you have a husband and family who love you. hope you sleep soon and have sweet dreams.
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OLL, bummer that what should have been a good meal caused you stress. I eat balsamic all the time, no cravings and certainly no buzz. I also drink a little apple cider vinegar in water each day as a healthy thing along with my sisters. again, no cravings. Dee even posted a link a while back about using vinegar/water mixtures sometimes to cook with instead of wine.
I changed the way I cook and now don't use wine in the Sunday tomato sauce (huge for me, i'm Sicilian :-). learned the hard way that it's not a god idea for me to cook with wine. Triggers the old obsession...
I changed the way I cook and now don't use wine in the Sunday tomato sauce (huge for me, i'm Sicilian :-). learned the hard way that it's not a god idea for me to cook with wine. Triggers the old obsession...
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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Originally Posted by Dee74 
It's not hopeless at all. You have things in your life others here would kill for, Jeni.
D
D
Ok. Morning here. I know I've got so much in my life to be thankful for, and I guess the thing that feels hopeless sometimes isn't my life in general but the fact I can't seem to move past this night time anxiety. I wonder if I'm always going to suffer from mental health issues, if I'm going to be wandering around the garden in the early hours blubbering for the rest of my days. That feels kind of hopeless sometimes.
But yeah I know how much I have. And time to stop posting my crap when others are struggling with so much worse.
I am lucky in so many ways, and life is good.
Sorry guys. Love you all loads xxx
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It wasn't meant as a rebuke - just aiming for matter of fact Jeni
You can vent as much as you like - but the fact as I see it is you have come a long way and things are far from hopeless
D
You can vent as much as you like - but the fact as I see it is you have come a long way and things are far from hopeless
D
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
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(((Jeni))), it's ok to feel out of sorts now and then. The kind of therapy you're going through isn't easy and brings up lots of old feelings. I know you are impatient when you've decided to do something and just want to get it done. Some things don't work that way and that can be difficult. Hang in there! It's still early days and anxiety doesn't disappear that fast. It will get better, trust me.
Lots of love and (((hugs)))
Sass
Lots of love and (((hugs)))
Sass
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