Jeni26

As long as you're happy in your own little world Hypo, that's all that matters xxx

InsertNameHere

Dogs are awesome they love you no matter what. I agree that living in your own little world is fine, I did it for a while but usually had a few good friends. I didn't think I really needed them but when things turned bad I could have used someone to talk too. I am not making judgements in the slightest, just stating what is/was true for me.

I have an interesting situation. I have been volunteered to take people too meetings with me. These are going to be young people who may or may not (probably not) be actual alcoholics. But have been mandated to attend meetings, usually because they got in some kind of alcohol related incident, but have been unable to go, as they have no transportation off base and are not really allowed to go anywhere normally right now anyway. Mostly it is a trust thing, in that they (the command) believes that they can trust me not to do something inappropriate with the young females or take any of them anywhere other than a meeting and back.

I have a few concerns with this scenario that are mainly selfish, but, this could possibly help them. Like I said they probably aren't actual alkies, I haven't actually met them yet so I don't know either way, however a single alcoholic incident does not an alcoholic make. Even if they aren't this will help them fulfil their obligations to the Corps and give them an education on the dark road they may be on. So for them it is good. For me it could be an issue being honest and unguarded with junior Marines around that are directly in my chain of command. Sure there were some in the rooms before, but no one as new to the Corps as the ones I will be dealing with now. These ones will have been in the military for a few months, they still have a lot to learn.

Either way we will see what happens, I am not sweating it to much, just considering possibilities from my usually pessimistic perspective.

How is everyone else's week going?

Jeni26

Well you know there's a huge importance put on helping another alcoholic in AA. And this may be your chance to do just that. If they aren't alcoholics, they won't need it, but you may just help someone else from going down a very slippery slope. They could look up to you and you could make a huge difference to them.

I can really understand you being guarded though. I'm not sure I would like to meet one of the people I work with in a meeting, although I'm sure if it happened I would be ok with it.

Remember AA is anonymous. You do have other meetings you go to dont you? It would be a shame if this was the only meeting for you to share on stuff that is important to you.

I suppose you don't really have any choice in the matter really though do you?

Let us know how it goes x

All ok here. Off to a meeting again tonight, and just offered to take another member who can't drive. She's a bit hard work actually, very teary and depressed. A little bit clingy to me too, constantly texting and wanting to meet up. I know that sounds uncaring and selfish, but I'm working hard at changing that. Offering to pick her up tonight is a way of teaching myself a bit of tolerance and patience! She's struggling I know, and I want to help, just not ALL the time! X

hypochondriac

I'd have a better relationship with my friends if I was honest with them about what's going on with me, but hey ho...

I dunno INH, I think that those people need AA just as much as the others, they just might not know it yet. I always learnt things at meetings, even if they learn that they don't want to carry on drinking because of stuff they hear, that's got to be worthwhile. I can understand your reservations but I am sure you'll be an inspiration to them. And it means a lot that people trust you x

Has your friend connected with anyone else at AA? Maybe send her here? I don't mind you passing my number on to someone who's struggling if you need a breather, though with the amount of people you support here I am surprised you notice an extra one x

Jeni26

Actually I feel a bit sorry for her now. But I wish she just wouldn't text during the night, I have enough trouble sleeping as it is! But, she has some real problems, and I should have space for her in my life. Her sponsor hasn't replied to her texts for the past 2 weeks, so she's sort of latched onto me. But it's ok. I haven't many words of wisdom but I can listen. I wouldn't give her your number Hypo, nice offer, but I'm sure you would regret it!xxx

And why can't you open up to your friends about stuff?x not that I can talk because I don't either!x

hypochondriac

It's a funny one isn't it. I have told one friend who is a really heavy drinker, or at least was, but the others are all light weights and I don't think they'd understand. To start off with I wouldn't have been able to say anything, I was too embarrassed/stressed, and now I guess there is some residual embarrassment but also my family (who I have told) act like I am making a big deal out of nothing so I wasn't sure if I would just get vacant looks if I told them. I am just winging it I think. I told an old friend who knows me very well that I gave up because I was drinking too much and she didn't question that. If people give me a hard time I will start telling them, just maybe not my work friends as I think that won't do me any favours...

Seriously Jeni, give her my number. People could text me all night and it wouldn't wake me! It might not stop her I guess but tell her not to text you at night! I was practically stalked by a girl once who sent me literally 100's of texts a day and used to randomly turn up at my house, she calmed down eventually but god it was annoying. I hope she doesn't get out of hand for you x

Jeni26

I have 4 very good friends, only 1 knows I'm an alcoholic and in AA, but she's a normal drinker and doesn't really get it, 1 knows I've a drinking problem but she's an alcoholic so doesn't want to know, and the other 2 have no idea at all. I didn't drink much around them because they drink virtually nothing ( which I used to find really frustrating).
They're all really valued friends but I can't use any of them as support. So that's why I need SR and AA so much x

InsertNameHere

Hm, it is interesting hearing about friends, who can be told, and what not from people that live in one place. I mean no offense with that, its just that I have these envious visions of how a more stationary life must be, with really good friends everywhere and all kinds of support. I guess that is a huge exaggeration. Right now I have one friend from the rooms that I actually see outside of the rooms, and my sponsor. That's about it, everyone at work are at least aware I have a problem, though not aware of the details, but they all have families and lives, plus I don't like to mix work and not work, even if they would, which they don't lol.

I know I like for the most part hanging out with the chick from the rooms that I call my friend. I was a little worried she would want something more at first but I don't think that is the case. I was worried because I don't want drama especially in my home room. I need that to much to jeopardise it in any way. Also at first I kinda had to begrudgingly force myself to hang out with her and my sponsor because I was just too comfortable with bidding away in my room. That is something I am still working on.

Well good luck to you all with the friends you can tell and those you can't, i suppose it will probably get easier with time, but both of you awesome women have more than a year already! That's like forever!

Caledonia1

Sounds like everyone's fairly happy these days, great stuff.

Thought I'd check in before the mad stalker came looking for me :rotfxko

Nighty night guys.



Nicky
x

Jeni26

Erm... The 'mad stalker' would like a bit more info please Nicky.. How have you been keeping?? Don't make me come looking for you again..

INH- I don't think it's a question of how many friends we have exactly, more how honest and real we can be with them. I don't think there's anyone who really knows me, I'm so guarded with anyone and that includes my sponsor really. It's hard for me to be honest without worrying about exposing myself and being hurt. I think you guys on SR probably get the real deal and that's why I'm never far away from here!x

hypochondriac

Yeah, that's a huge exaggeration INH! I don't have many friends where I live although I've been here some years now. And like Jeni says, I can't be real with any of them really. A lot of my friends are just music friends and that tends to be very superficial, which was good when I was drinking because I had stuff to hide, but it doesn't translate into a support group. I think that's what support groups are for really Tbh this has made me question my closer friendships too, in that how close can we really be if I don't feel comfortable being honest with them...? I am not entirely sure if that's their fault but I have found that even family don't like being inconvenienced if you're not doing so well. Maybe I am just cynical.

Dee74

My friends are fewer but way more real now...I can count on everyone of them.

I couldn't say that of my drinking buds, no matter how much we drunkenly 'I love you man' - ed.

D

Caledonia1

Okay you did ask, here goes!

Still enjoying my AA meeetings although not been to so many as kids are on holiday.

Hubbies drinking is escalating again and really p****** me off but thankfully he's just drinking then falling asleep.

Really enjoying my new sober life and finding a real balance most of the times.

Love being able to make plans and commit to them..

Just back from a wee break and off again on Monday to the Algarve without the kids, first time ever without the girls.

So that's the condensed version......lol

Thank you for caring *stalker*

Catch you later. Promise. xx

Dee74

enjoy your break Nicky

D

Caledonia1

Thanks Dee Glad the toothache all sorted now.x

Dee74

Me too

D

Jeni26

Have a wonderful holiday Nicky, the Algarve is wonderful, we went there a couple of years ago.

It's always strange the first time you go away without the kids, but nice once you get used to it!

Love to you x

InsertNameHere

Whats up everyone, just checking in. Lets see, whats new...... ummm. I am probably moving to a more permanent place, permenant here meaning more than 6 months. I found a place that I like to call "kookie" but I like it. So I am going to move in probably this month. I have also regestered on a dating site, (hang my head in shame lol) I am not really looking for a girlfriend, or a hookup, just kinda exploring talking to people, and getting to know them in person. We will see how it goes.

Started to read a new book called "the Tao of Pooh". My sponsor is trying to help me with the whole "higher power" part of AA. I am not very comfortable with God, and he understands that, but I am willing to explore options. He is someone that has explored options himself and said I might like it as it sounds like some of the things i say/believe.

As far as friends, wow, I understand somewhat but really for some reason I thought people who stayed in one place for a while ended up with really good friends that they were all honest with and stuff. That sucks to hear that it isn't neccessarily that easy lol.

Honesty I got in spades, so long as I don't work with or for you. I am good with being pretty transparent, mainly because if you don't like it well then I feel free to not be around you. That sucks that you feel you have to be guarded even with your sponsor Jeni. I know me and mine will chat for hours, there are a couple of things I haven't tole him yet, but I wouldn't have any reservations with doing so, it just hasn't come up. Though I suppose it is about to, I am just starting the fourth step.

So yeah that is me. How are all of you?

Dee74

doing good INH - I enjoyed the Tao of Pooh

D

hypochondriac

Hope you have a lovely holiday Nicky x

Good luck with the dating website INH. I have done that a bit in the past and it was interesting to say the least. I met some great people though, some of whom have become lasting friends, of sorts. I think with the friends thing if you move around at all it can be tough. I moved to a new city with a partner who wasn't very social and didn't really like me making friends, and then when we split up I was completely on my own with no one I knew nearby. That was tough, and it took a long time before I had any semblance of a social life. To add to the difficulties I am a bit awkward socially and not good at maintaining friendships. Although I would never want to live there again, nothing beats going to where I grew up where people have known me all my life. But then even there I only moved there when I was 10 so I was a bit on the outside of groups of friends who'd known each other since they were toddlers. The advantage of moving around a lot is that you get to meet lots of new and interesting people all the time, and you get to reinvent yourself too

All is well with me. The weather here is finally sunny. I had my last counselling session the other day and that was nice really. I didn't learn a massive amount but I think it did help. We compared my ratings for depression and anxiety from when my initial session months ago and apparently I feel a lot better I feel like I have turned a massive corner somewhere, and I am not sure if it is just time, or the weather or getting my dog (she has definitely had a massive impact on how I feel) but I feel so much calmer and stable than I did during the last year. People did say it gets better...

How is Marks doing? And James? x