Class of January 2013 pt 5
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 25
Hey all, since I stopped the day before New Year's Eve, it's been 50 days today.
I've been checking the forum every day or so, but haven't been commenting much... but know I'm in your corner, and I'm glad we're all in this together.
I've been checking the forum every day or so, but haven't been commenting much... but know I'm in your corner, and I'm glad we're all in this together.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 48
Hi everybody. I've been absent for quite a few days. Hanging in over here. It turns out that sobriety can be boring..but drinking is boring too...so I end up in this constant struggle between the two different kinds of boring...but knowing that the drunk sort of boring is the worse of the two...or as my dad would have said, the worselier.....
It is kinda funny how the honeymoon ends. 60 days ago, all my problems were due to alcohol. Today, most of my problems have evaporated.....I guess I know how to deal with the problems caused by alcohol...just let the alcohol go. And letting the alcohol go seems like it was kinda easy...when it was supposed to be difficult...so maybe it really was difficult, but i didn't realize it.....so now that I have these remaining problems...and find no easy solution......What to do? There are problems after alcohol, it turns out.
But what about the rest of the problems? Did alcohol cause these problems? Or mask them for awhile?
I guess I feel like I've fixed what alcohol broke. But I still have some fundamental things that are broken. And I kinda thought/wished/hoped that quitting drinking would fix these issues.
But it didn't.
I guess that is where I take over.
It is a process. I feel like I have shed a heavy weight but find a long road ahead. :/
Yeah - honeymoon is definitely over.
It is kinda funny how the honeymoon ends. 60 days ago, all my problems were due to alcohol. Today, most of my problems have evaporated.....I guess I know how to deal with the problems caused by alcohol...just let the alcohol go. And letting the alcohol go seems like it was kinda easy...when it was supposed to be difficult...so maybe it really was difficult, but i didn't realize it.....so now that I have these remaining problems...and find no easy solution......What to do? There are problems after alcohol, it turns out.
But what about the rest of the problems? Did alcohol cause these problems? Or mask them for awhile?
I guess I feel like I've fixed what alcohol broke. But I still have some fundamental things that are broken. And I kinda thought/wished/hoped that quitting drinking would fix these issues.
But it didn't.
I guess that is where I take over.
It is a process. I feel like I have shed a heavy weight but find a long road ahead. :/
Yeah - honeymoon is definitely over.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Western New York
Posts: 375
Lisa, I'm the same way, I associate memories really easily with objects, like the shirt, and wearing it or seeing a picture of it would definitely trigger an unpleasant feeling in me, particularly seeing a picture of the same night. I'd say it's just an excuse for you and hubs to dress up a little, go out and get a new picture taken! something that reminds you of your new life, and how you've come from that other night...
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Back from my home group. Today is a holiday in the US and we had some people from other groups show up. I got kinda bugged.
There was that one guy with 13 years sober who was bragging about having eaten a rum cake and having drank a whiskey and seltzer a few years ago and saying that he did not reset his sobriety date...it's like dude I don't need to hear that crap right now, I m counting days.
Then two other guys (also not from home group) shared how they were REAL alcoholics because they could never remember having had just 2 drinks and went on drunkologues about their exploits!!!
Well I do and have done it quite often in the past 6 years...that crap really opened the door to my AV and the beast is trying to tell me that I am not a "real hardcore alcoholic" just a mild one and that I operated 6 years with no bad consequences while knowing I am an alcoholic and who knows, if I have a couple it might be another 6 years before the bullet hits me again....
The reason I like my home group is because the people there are very sober and it's solution oriented...I am going to whine (and I know some are sicker than others and live and let live etc...) and say I hope they go back to their own toxic meeting!!!!
Sorry for bugging you...but we are only as sick as our secrets and not having a sponsor I need to put it out. I am going to re read my notebook and write my response to the AVs. I found out that using some AVRT techniques really helps in combination with AA. Then I plan on finally getting some rest. If the AV keep bugging me, I ll go to another meeting....
Ps: I already feel better from sharing with you guys....sorry for being a whiny baby.
There was that one guy with 13 years sober who was bragging about having eaten a rum cake and having drank a whiskey and seltzer a few years ago and saying that he did not reset his sobriety date...it's like dude I don't need to hear that crap right now, I m counting days.
Then two other guys (also not from home group) shared how they were REAL alcoholics because they could never remember having had just 2 drinks and went on drunkologues about their exploits!!!
Well I do and have done it quite often in the past 6 years...that crap really opened the door to my AV and the beast is trying to tell me that I am not a "real hardcore alcoholic" just a mild one and that I operated 6 years with no bad consequences while knowing I am an alcoholic and who knows, if I have a couple it might be another 6 years before the bullet hits me again....
The reason I like my home group is because the people there are very sober and it's solution oriented...I am going to whine (and I know some are sicker than others and live and let live etc...) and say I hope they go back to their own toxic meeting!!!!
Sorry for bugging you...but we are only as sick as our secrets and not having a sponsor I need to put it out. I am going to re read my notebook and write my response to the AVs. I found out that using some AVRT techniques really helps in combination with AA. Then I plan on finally getting some rest. If the AV keep bugging me, I ll go to another meeting....
Ps: I already feel better from sharing with you guys....sorry for being a whiny baby.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hey Carlotta - don't let a couple of blowhard jerks get you down.
You know what you've been through - your experiences are as real as anyone elses here...there's nothing 'unreal' or lesser about that at all
D
You know what you've been through - your experiences are as real as anyone elses here...there's nothing 'unreal' or lesser about that at all
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Carlotta,
A few of my friends tried to tell me I'm not a hardcore alcoholic because I was functioning enough to keep a job. I alway go back to this quote I love when I hear things like that:
"Saying someone can't be sad because someone else may have it worse, is just like saying someone can't be happy because someone else has it better.
A few of my friends tried to tell me I'm not a hardcore alcoholic because I was functioning enough to keep a job. I alway go back to this quote I love when I hear things like that:
"Saying someone can't be sad because someone else may have it worse, is just like saying someone can't be happy because someone else has it better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: North. Where it snows.
Posts: 702
Hello,
I stopped drinking on January 1st. May I come and share things here sometimes ? I'm not a very active SR poster but sometimes, it's nice to share.
Are any of you more impatient and angry since stopping ?
I stopped drinking on January 1st. May I come and share things here sometimes ? I'm not a very active SR poster but sometimes, it's nice to share.
Are any of you more impatient and angry since stopping ?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Hi Dorothy. Welcome to the class. Of course you can post here. We would be happy to hear more from you.
For me, yes, sometimes I find myself having less patience now that I quit drinking. I'm ok with it but my hubby probably isn't. I figure I'm just feeling everything now, whether it's anger, impatience, sadness, or happiness. I'm just going to go with it.
For me, yes, sometimes I find myself having less patience now that I quit drinking. I'm ok with it but my hubby probably isn't. I figure I'm just feeling everything now, whether it's anger, impatience, sadness, or happiness. I'm just going to go with it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,479
Hey everyone. I kinda fell off the radar here for a bit. Just a whole lot going on. I have no clue what day I'm on, I guess that means I'm done counting days 
another crazy busy day tomorrow then I'm hoping to catch up with everyone.
another crazy busy day tomorrow then I'm hoping to catch up with everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 69
Good Morning Class
Welcome Dorothy - Great to have you onboard!! You,ll find lots of support and encouragement here..Angry, Impatient,happy..infact all emotions I am finding more intense!! I had 6 weeks counselling prescribed by my doctor after one of my very last drinking episodes...only now do I understand what she was saying when she asked me about my past and "how did it make me feel??"...I just sat there, struggling inside trying to answer this simple question...For 34 odd years (since I was 14) drinking was my emotional crutch..numbed me...I have now identified that when AV is at its worst its when I am either angry or happy..In the past I wanted to please everyone so I never expressed anger in fear of rejection and happiness was fleeting I was always waiting for it to be taken away...drink became my emotional master, hence why I either became completely nasty (pent up anger) or a crying blabbering heap when the vodka had saturated my brain...DEE has summend it up as I see it now..recognise how you feel but be Grateful and thankful for all the beautiful small things in life..Being Grateful is a great remedy..NEL68 has a lovely Gratitude quote at the end of her posts...really clicked with me..hope it helps you too.
Dorris - hope exams went well honey and I love your daffodils too - things are really beginning to spring up now tis wonderful and so heart warming..
Half - was very near tipping the scales too, ok now but it was a close shave..glad your ok tho and it didnt get - well yunno - dangerous or out of hand...big hugs.
Morning..Carlotta, Nel, Rosie,Siesta,peacefulrain,Glimer,Bounced...all of you!!
Reeny - hope your ok and im thinking of you
Soberck1 - same as - hope your ok??
Have a good day folks xx
Welcome Dorothy - Great to have you onboard!! You,ll find lots of support and encouragement here..Angry, Impatient,happy..infact all emotions I am finding more intense!! I had 6 weeks counselling prescribed by my doctor after one of my very last drinking episodes...only now do I understand what she was saying when she asked me about my past and "how did it make me feel??"...I just sat there, struggling inside trying to answer this simple question...For 34 odd years (since I was 14) drinking was my emotional crutch..numbed me...I have now identified that when AV is at its worst its when I am either angry or happy..In the past I wanted to please everyone so I never expressed anger in fear of rejection and happiness was fleeting I was always waiting for it to be taken away...drink became my emotional master, hence why I either became completely nasty (pent up anger) or a crying blabbering heap when the vodka had saturated my brain...DEE has summend it up as I see it now..recognise how you feel but be Grateful and thankful for all the beautiful small things in life..Being Grateful is a great remedy..NEL68 has a lovely Gratitude quote at the end of her posts...really clicked with me..hope it helps you too.
Dorris - hope exams went well honey and I love your daffodils too - things are really beginning to spring up now tis wonderful and so heart warming..
Half - was very near tipping the scales too, ok now but it was a close shave..glad your ok tho and it didnt get - well yunno - dangerous or out of hand...big hugs.
Morning..Carlotta, Nel, Rosie,Siesta,peacefulrain,Glimer,Bounced...all of you!!
Reeny - hope your ok and im thinking of you
Soberck1 - same as - hope your ok??
Have a good day folks xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 230
Thank you Carlotta and Dorris and Dee...well everybody actually!
Whenever I go to London, I feel the need to put on this big suit of emotional armour to protect myself. And it takes about 3 days to put it on. So this is going to be a bit of a weird week to negotiate. I feel another session with my counsellor probably wouldn't hurt.
There is a massive milestone for a few of us here tomorrow. I know we are not counting days anymore really but occasionally we should celebrate our big achievements...so get out your glad rags in preparation!!
Whenever I go to London, I feel the need to put on this big suit of emotional armour to protect myself. And it takes about 3 days to put it on. So this is going to be a bit of a weird week to negotiate. I feel another session with my counsellor probably wouldn't hurt.
There is a massive milestone for a few of us here tomorrow. I know we are not counting days anymore really but occasionally we should celebrate our big achievements...so get out your glad rags in preparation!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: California
Posts: 181
Originally Posted by Lisamum 
Boys have been quite good and I have a few things planned over half term to keep us busy.
I went to my assessment for talking therapy help combat my depression and anxiety. Booked into cognitive therapy and read huge self help booklet with hubby! He actually sat there and listened! I have a habit of negative thinking a lot of the time and it made me think a bit closer.
Plus I could explain a situation that has been festering away in my head. I will explain. My mum wanted a pic of hubby and I. We have a great pic of us having night out. He sees a pic from a good night out. I see pic that reminds me that night there was a video taken and put on Facebook. I made a total fool of myself and was mortified. Also that night when I got home I led on the bed threw up and nearly suffocated on vomit (sorry for the graphic details) I made no effort to get up either couldn't or didn't want to I don't know. I think the latter! Hubby found me and turned me over witch shook me into sitting up and breathing.
Anyway I cant stand that pic and wont wear the top I wore that evening as it is a reminder. He was shocked and had forgotten the entire thing. I have now chucked the top in the bin and sent pic to archives for a very long time.
Sorry about life story feel a bit bonkers now but I would like to hear if anyone has any comments?
I went to my assessment for talking therapy help combat my depression and anxiety. Booked into cognitive therapy and read huge self help booklet with hubby! He actually sat there and listened! I have a habit of negative thinking a lot of the time and it made me think a bit closer.
Plus I could explain a situation that has been festering away in my head. I will explain. My mum wanted a pic of hubby and I. We have a great pic of us having night out. He sees a pic from a good night out. I see pic that reminds me that night there was a video taken and put on Facebook. I made a total fool of myself and was mortified. Also that night when I got home I led on the bed threw up and nearly suffocated on vomit (sorry for the graphic details) I made no effort to get up either couldn't or didn't want to I don't know. I think the latter! Hubby found me and turned me over witch shook me into sitting up and breathing.
Anyway I cant stand that pic and wont wear the top I wore that evening as it is a reminder. He was shocked and had forgotten the entire thing. I have now chucked the top in the bin and sent pic to archives for a very long time.Sorry about life story feel a bit bonkers now but I would like to hear if anyone has any comments?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: California
Posts: 181
Originally Posted by bounced
Thank you Carlotta and Dorris and Dee...well everybody actually!
Whenever I go to London, I feel the need to put on this big suit of emotional armour to protect myself. And it takes about 3 days to put it on. So this is going to be a bit of a weird week to negotiate. I feel another session with my counsellor probably wouldn't hurt.
There is a massive milestone for a few of us here tomorrow. I know we are not counting days anymore really but occasionally we should celebrate our big achievements...so get out your glad rags in preparation!!
Whenever I go to London, I feel the need to put on this big suit of emotional armour to protect myself. And it takes about 3 days to put it on. So this is going to be a bit of a weird week to negotiate. I feel another session with my counsellor probably wouldn't hurt.
There is a massive milestone for a few of us here tomorrow. I know we are not counting days anymore really but occasionally we should celebrate our big achievements...so get out your glad rags in preparation!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 230
Originally Posted by Lunetta
Could you be referring to day 50?? It's day 50 today!!
Thanks, Lunetta. There's me doing us all out of a day. Absolutely typical of me to turn up to a party the day after it happened! Some things will probably never change!
Congratulations to everyone who is on 50 days today. Awesome! We have come such a long way since the New Year. I feel a changed man already!
We rock!
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