Class of January 2013
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 37
Some great posts, it's a relief that I am not alone and it is comforting to know that we all share common goals. I fell off the wagon last night but something I did do is admit to my family that I am an alcoholic. This is definitely going to be a new year...........
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
Yeah, perfectionism is one of those implanted traits that just nips at me no matter what I do. It got put into me through a lot of abuse and trying to survive, then it became how I thought. So I come up to it in pretty much any life endeavor. And I realized I was bringing it into recovery. Got to do it just so, can't slip, can't fail, yadda yadda. And it's been weighing me down and of course fueling the self-hatred, failure, etc.
Last night, or maybe this morning, lol, I realized I was letting this dictate my recovery and hijack it. That ALL I can do is my best and my best will be what it is at any given time. Just to get off my own back and allow myself to BE however that is. If I fall down, get back up again. Or sit on the grass and look around at all the flowers.
Instead of making my recovery a torture chamber make it what it is--just me living my life every day... Now learning how to do it without drugs. Learning self-acceptance has always eluded me. I'm thinking--and hoping--that this recovery is going to help me finally, finally get there. To create self-acceptance and finally fully heal all the years of self-loathing.
Last night, or maybe this morning, lol, I realized I was letting this dictate my recovery and hijack it. That ALL I can do is my best and my best will be what it is at any given time. Just to get off my own back and allow myself to BE however that is. If I fall down, get back up again. Or sit on the grass and look around at all the flowers.
Instead of making my recovery a torture chamber make it what it is--just me living my life every day... Now learning how to do it without drugs. Learning self-acceptance has always eluded me. I'm thinking--and hoping--that this recovery is going to help me finally, finally get there. To create self-acceptance and finally fully heal all the years of self-loathing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Heart of Dixie, United States
Posts: 433
Today will officially be my Day 1, even though I didn't drink last night. I used last night as the springboard. Dee helped to remind me to use Urge Surfing last night. This and a cup of tea helped in washing the urges over me.
I also thanked God last night for giving me the opportunity to make a change. I'm not a religious man, but I felt compelled to give thanks.
I'm siting down with pen and paper today to work on a plan to become debt free. I can free up $200-250 a month to help. I also have my first grandchild on the way in March. I rounded 40 last year. I'm hoping 2013 brings positive change.
Happy New Year.
I also thanked God last night for giving me the opportunity to make a change. I'm not a religious man, but I felt compelled to give thanks.
I'm siting down with pen and paper today to work on a plan to become debt free. I can free up $200-250 a month to help. I also have my first grandchild on the way in March. I rounded 40 last year. I'm hoping 2013 brings positive change.
Happy New Year.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 100
please count me in. Have been planning today for a while ...this time unfortunately I need to take a break from my friends for a few months and concentrate on me. They are not heavy drinkers but are enablers for me..
Happy new year all
Happy new year all
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome timetotry, FDM, midlifecrisis, Gorc, avocado, Bethany, Roofus, AWOL, Lyoness, and OnlyTheLonely....
if I missed anyone out blame human error
... time for bed 
have a good day/night everyone!
D
if I missed anyone out blame human error
... time for bed have a good day/night everyone!
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Well this seems as good a place and time to start again as any
Officially my day 1. Although I wasn't drinking last night I was drinking the previous night until the early hours. The christmas and birthday week for me seems to have taken it's toll so I'm knocking it on the head. I now have a booze free house. Within a couple of hours I might even have a tidy house!!
Hello and good luck to all
Officially my day 1. Although I wasn't drinking last night I was drinking the previous night until the early hours. The christmas and birthday week for me seems to have taken it's toll so I'm knocking it on the head. I now have a booze free house. Within a couple of hours I might even have a tidy house!!
Hello and good luck to all
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Heart of Dixie, United States
Posts: 433
This is gonna sound corny, but I think seeing Les Miserables on the big screen has helped me. I had never seen it in any form, but after seeing it Sunday, and thinking about the stories of the characters, something has changed in me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Yesterday was also my Day One although it's probably Half Day One as I started out my pledge to get sober with a vodka and tonic at 3AM early Monday morning.
Last night was difficult and I barely made it through. And certainly not through sheer willpower as that is still something I don't seem to have a lot of these days. I made it through because my stomach is still so destroyed from the birthday/Christmas bender I was on for the past ten days that even the smell of the glass of wine (from a hidden stash rediscovered in my basement) made my stomach turn over. Never thought I'd thank God or the Universe or whatever for the beginnings of an ulcer but last night I sure did
It wasn't easy though---sat with that cup of nasty old wine for about two hours. I also stayed here until 2AM which helped heaps.
Tonight I am going to go to my first AA meeting. Scared crapless but figure it's NY Day so there might be an extra amount of us drunks there so maybe I won't feel so alone.
Worst part so far has been the sleeping issue. I remember this from when I tried to quit a few years ago (without SR or any outside assistance) and that kicked my butt. Melatonin and Benadryl sometimes work but I am hoping to find a path that doesn't replace one thing with any other "one thing" since the last time I was taking enough Benadryl to bring down a water buffalo before it had any effect.
Anyway, honored to be here with you all. And thanks for the discussion on perfection. I have that going on in spades too!
Last night was difficult and I barely made it through. And certainly not through sheer willpower as that is still something I don't seem to have a lot of these days. I made it through because my stomach is still so destroyed from the birthday/Christmas bender I was on for the past ten days that even the smell of the glass of wine (from a hidden stash rediscovered in my basement) made my stomach turn over. Never thought I'd thank God or the Universe or whatever for the beginnings of an ulcer but last night I sure did
It wasn't easy though---sat with that cup of nasty old wine for about two hours. I also stayed here until 2AM which helped heaps.Tonight I am going to go to my first AA meeting. Scared crapless but figure it's NY Day so there might be an extra amount of us drunks there so maybe I won't feel so alone.
Worst part so far has been the sleeping issue. I remember this from when I tried to quit a few years ago (without SR or any outside assistance) and that kicked my butt. Melatonin and Benadryl sometimes work but I am hoping to find a path that doesn't replace one thing with any other "one thing" since the last time I was taking enough Benadryl to bring down a water buffalo before it had any effect.
Anyway, honored to be here with you all. And thanks for the discussion on perfection. I have that going on in spades too!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
I'm in. Yesterday was Day 1, but I think I could benefit from all of you in the January Class who are in the early days of quitting.
I made it through last night although I was in the house alone and was tempted. Drinking lots of fruit juice helped ... lol. When going to the fridge to get more juice, several times I found myself making subconscious turns into the pantry, then reaching up to where the bourbon bottle used to sit. Wow.
I'm nervous about what withdrawal symptoms I might experience, so please share what you're feeling. I slept okay last night, but it took me longer than usual to fall asleep. Of course, "usual" was after I had been drinking. I felt peaceful when going to bed because that meant Day 1 was over. Waking up wasn't as peaceful as it meant an entire day was in front of me.
I quit for a month a year ago, but alcohol eventually wormed it's way back into control of my life. I've been increasingly concerned about health issues. Every time I have a physical, I'm afraid the doctor is going to see something in the blood test results. That's no way to live.
Happy New Year everyone.
I made it through last night although I was in the house alone and was tempted. Drinking lots of fruit juice helped ... lol. When going to the fridge to get more juice, several times I found myself making subconscious turns into the pantry, then reaching up to where the bourbon bottle used to sit. Wow.
I'm nervous about what withdrawal symptoms I might experience, so please share what you're feeling. I slept okay last night, but it took me longer than usual to fall asleep. Of course, "usual" was after I had been drinking. I felt peaceful when going to bed because that meant Day 1 was over. Waking up wasn't as peaceful as it meant an entire day was in front of me.
I quit for a month a year ago, but alcohol eventually wormed it's way back into control of my life. I've been increasingly concerned about health issues. Every time I have a physical, I'm afraid the doctor is going to see something in the blood test results. That's no way to live.
Happy New Year everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Calgary
Posts: 63
I am done. I can recall having my son almost 9 years ago, and I also recall starting to drink vodka shortly after.
It has been non-stop for almost 9 years.
I dont respect myself for my lack of discipline. I used to be lots of things, and I feel alcohol has torn that away from me.
Used to be in great shape and workout everyday, used to have discipline to get my secondary studies done (masters degree), used to enjoy football on sundays without a drink, used to go camping without getting into beer by noon...
I dont want to be a "used to be" anymore...
I am drawing the line in the sand....My first leap is coming here and I am looking for support and some people to hold me accountable.
Thank you to all in advance. I hope I can add to the forums and contribute to helping others get cleaned up.
Happy New Year (I had 3 beers last night...a record low for me)
It has been non-stop for almost 9 years.
I dont respect myself for my lack of discipline. I used to be lots of things, and I feel alcohol has torn that away from me.
Used to be in great shape and workout everyday, used to have discipline to get my secondary studies done (masters degree), used to enjoy football on sundays without a drink, used to go camping without getting into beer by noon...
I dont want to be a "used to be" anymore...
I am drawing the line in the sand....My first leap is coming here and I am looking for support and some people to hold me accountable.
Thank you to all in advance. I hope I can add to the forums and contribute to helping others get cleaned up.
Happy New Year (I had 3 beers last night...a record low for me)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
9yearsgone ... similar tale ... I have a 13 year old daughter and an 11 year old son ... the drinking started to become a problem about 10 years ago. I also was in great shape (distance runner) and enjoyed the outdoors. The last couple of years, however, things have been increasingly centered around drinking. Workout when I come home? Nah. I'd rather drink. Go on a hike? Nah. I'd rather drink.
Enough is enough. I don't want my kids to remember me as a dad who had a drink in his hand every evening.
Enough is enough. I don't want my kids to remember me as a dad who had a drink in his hand every evening.
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