Dee74

we continue from here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-20.html

D

Veggiejojo

Stairs,

Enjoy the blues gig, sounds great.

x

Panacea

Stairs - your evening sounds like fun! Have a great time.
WTH - your inlaws are lucky to have such a nice and helpful son in law....my inlaws tolerate me at best....admittedly, I am sometimes less than charming with them.
Grace, I hope you get some rest and are feeling better!
Veggie - Love Dr. Who!
Erica - I am sporting a baseball mom tan (very similar to the farmer's tan, with far less work involved) after watching my son play three games today. We came in second at the tournament (should of had first, but made a couple of mental errors in the first game, which ruined our record. Hope your son's team played well today.

Hope everyone is doing well tonight and feeling great. Take care all - Panacea

stevie88

Day 29 just starting for me....Just slurping tea,then gonna take the dog out...When I get back I'm gonna make bacon rolls for me,the wife and her friend...Already got a chicken and a gammon joint in the oven for a nice Sunday roast...Don't think I'm gonna make the gym today as I'm just too busy but hopefully I'll be back there tomorrow....Hope everyone has a great Sunday and I'll check back in later....Grace hopefully you feel a bit better today...Take care all....Steve...

Grace2

Good morning to you all

I hope your all well and staying strong.

I did sleep last night, mostly like a brick! It took me a while to get to sleep and I did wake a couple of times, but managed to get off again. It's 08.20 here and I'm being very lazy this morning. My son had my g.son last night ( he is his son!) so I got a bit of a lie in. I've just been down, fed the cats. made myself cup of tea and brought it back up to bed with me, with the lap top. So here I am, all propped up with pillows like Lady Muck, reclining in the boudoir, catching up with my emails and S.R.

The reason I've had such a black cloud is due to the situation at home, still. Husband is off this w/end, the first w/end in weeks and I was hoping we could have resolved some of our issues and moved on a bit, but no! He is speaking to me, but only when spoken to really and avoids eye contact at all costs etc. Some days are better than others, but it's tough. When I went to bed on Friday night I asked him if he wanted to sleep in our bed and he said he didn't know, I went up and next min I could here him snoring away. He stayed down there until about 03.00 and then I heard him go in the spare bedroom. The same thing happened last night too! Maybe I'm expecting too much,too soon!

I've been thinking I can't carry on like this, I'm in bits, though I'm doing my utmost not to let him know that! I'm not crying and pleading with him but I need to know what's going on. I need to know if he is going or staying, if he is going it will hurt, but I will survive, soberly at that and if he is staying, I need to know so I can carry on working on the damage I've done!

Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom, please tell me if I'm boring you. I am going to get up soon, get a shower, put my make up on. do my hair etc, then I'm going to take him a cup of tea in, I'm going to ask if he wants to come shopping with me for some stuff for the house,( he actually likes shopping) if he does, well good and if he doesn't I'll go on my own! Then later on I'm going to go for a brisk walk to clear the cobwebs.
***************

Stairs, keep on with the walking, the energy will come eventually or so I keep telling myself! That was sweet of your ex driving all that way to show you his new guitar, ha ha, he must have wanted your opinion. My H would be so jealous, he's into guitars and music too. Hope you got the blues gig, I like blues myself. Kudos to you too.
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Jo, you have a good Sunday, don't be tempted by that dirty wine with your Sunday dinner!

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Panacea, your tan sounds very fetching, ha ha, I'd be like that, all red and glowing. Factor 50 for me! Sounds like you enjoyed watching your son playing baseball, even though they came second. Not to worry, second is good!

*********

Morning Steve, you're very organised this morning and very domesticated. Do you do all the cooking? I bet Troy is doing handstands with the smell of all that cooking meat and chicken
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Hope you all have a blessed and peaceful Sunday

Big hugs

Gxx
********************************************

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anyone except myself .

stevie88

Yes Grace,I do all the cooking as I'm an ex chef...Was a chef that worked in all the big hotels here in the Uk,mainly the Thistle and Ramada chains...After 20 plus years of cooking and extreme drinking I decided to quit cooking...but didn't manage to quit the drinking until now...So yeah the kitchen is my department here,the wife ain't even allowed to set foot in it.....

Veggiejojo

Grace - you never bore us! Glad you slept a bit better and sorry things are still frosty at home. If he has moved back into the bedroom even if not staying the full night, that sounds like a positive move. If you can get him out shopping, do you think you could persuade him have something to eat while you are out. Maybe a neutral location would help him express his emotions.

x

Grace2

Hi again

Gosh Steve, a chef, posh hotels too, I've been to the Thistle in Chester( I think it was) a couple of times, several years ago, on training courses from work. Ooooh I wish I didn't have to set foot in my kitchen, what bliss that would be.
*****
Thanks for that Jo, no he isn't sleeping in our bedroom, you may have misread that bit ( or I may have miswrote it). I asked if he wanted to and he didn't know!!! By the way, I've just replied to your post in the womens section!!! LOL xx

Gx

Veggiejojo

Oops - sorry, x

Grace2

Me again

Can't you tell I've had a bit of time on my hands !! Look what I've been doing.

A-Addictive
L-Liar
C-Conniving
O-Obnoxious
H-Heinous
O-Obstructive
L-Lethal

S-Sincere
O-optimistic
B-Belief
R-Reliable
I-Inspired
E-Empathy
T-Thoughtful
Y-Yourself

Gxx

WantToHeal

Hi all! Beginning of Day 21 here, three whole weeks! Have another busy day planned, mainly sorting through and organizing all of the stuff I picked up from my in-laws' yesterday. The garage looks so much cleaner, but I still have at least one more trip to make before it's completely empty. By the end of last night, sleep was no problem!

Grace, special check-in with you today just to say I'm sorry you had kind of a bad day yesterday. I hope your husband comes around soon. I wish he could better see the positive changes and resolve that you've clearly shown all of us, but sometimes it's the people we're closest to who need the most "proof", ya know?!? It's good to see that you're spending some quality time on your recovery today. Hang in there and post up if you want to talk.

I'll try to make a more substantial post later, just wanted to check in. All of you, keep doing what you're doing! One day at a time, we can continue to move forward. "Anyone can deal with the challenges of just one day."

Much love!

Grace2

Thanks for that WTH, sorry for prattling on, I feel better now for getting if off my chest. Maybe I need more patience.

Glad you had a productive day yesterday anyway.

Catch up later.

GX

ebshot

Morning guys. I'm headed to my meeting in a bit. I really don't feel like it but I know I need to be there so I shall go.

Grace, I'm sorry things with your husband are still rocky. Is there anyway to maybe ask him to dinner and discuss your relationship? I don't think it is too much to ask to know how he is feeling about your relationship. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you. Hang in there!

Pancacea, our team stunk it up yesterday! They played horribly and made silly mistakes. They haven't played together very long and it showed. We lost by 4 and my son struck out at the plate but had a nice play in the field.

Okay, I'll catch up more later but I must get my rear in the shower and ready to leave. Take care all!

Nuway2fly

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. I've read today's posts, and I'm thinking about each one of you. And also the folks who haven't popped in yet. I'll be back later today. Hugs, everybody!

Panacea

Good morning all!

Going to model somel of your excellent behavior on the domestic front and clean/organize around home and wash the stinky dogs. Raining/drizizng today.....

Grace, hang in there...my husband often exhibits the same passive agressive/quiet treatment behavior towards me when he gets hurt. My situations are resolved by a forced conversation/heart to heart - which usually is fairly emotional on both parts. It is tough and I am thinking of you.

Will check in later after we are better homes and garden material.

xo Panacea

Grace2

Hi again everybody

Thanks for your concern and kind words. I'm feeling much better now and he did come shopping with me, we were looking at lighting, flooring and furniture etc and his mood seems to have lightened quite a bit. I did ask him if would like to go to a carvery for lunch, but he declined the offer, no worries though. I think its time and patience needed here, hopefully, plus me continuing to show that I have no intention of reverting back to my old ways.

I have to confess though, for the first time since I've stopped drinking, I felt the urge to buy some wine. We were in a warehouse and there were shelves and shelves of it everywhere. I listened to my A.V and told myself it was because I have been a bit down and I am tired. Obviously I didn't buy any, I couldn't if I'd have wanted to because he was with me, but previously that would have been enough to send me sneaking off to the corner store later, on the pretence of going for a loaf of bread or some cat food.

My plan for a walk went pair shaped, it's lashing it down! Bugg*r!
**********

Panacea, shame your team lost, but if they haven't been playing long, they will improve with practice. It's not that easy for me to arrange a night out as most nights we have my g.son. Last night would have been ideal, but it wasn't meant to be. There will be another time, I'm sure
*******.

Anyway, that's it for now, going to have another cup of tea and think about what to cook for the evening meal.

Catch up laters

GXx

stevie88

Day 29 coming to an end for me as I want to go and jump into my nice comfy bed and watch a bit of TV...Had a good day really and ate lots and lots of food...Just had a nice hot bath and weighed myself and I have lost 3lbs not a lot but I really am trying my hardest to put weight on...I'm working hard in the gym and I'm eating like a beast but I am flabbergasted to how I have lost weight this week...Oh well looks like I'm gonna have to try and up my calorie intake again,it's a good job I did quit booze as I wouldn't be able to afford all this food otherwise lol....I hope everyone else has had a good weekend....Take care all....Steve....

Grace2

Night night everybody. bit quiet on here today.

Feeling much better and more positive tonight, but very tired. I'm going to go up to bed and read for a while.

Steve, can't believe you've lost three pounds, I'm so jealous!! Shame I can't shave a bit of my lard off and post it to you!! Have a restful night.

See you all tomorrow

~Gxx

stairs

Hi everyone,

Day 28 here, and frankly, it was lousy!

About an hour before it was time to leave, I got a message from the B's friend saying she was on restriction for being late so could have no visitors.


Then I felt frustrated and cried off and on, ,wondered if it is healthy for me to live here in this situation, I did think of drinking some beer but squashed that idea at the gate as it really is not an option.

I guess it was one big pity party though of course it did not appear so while in it's midst.

I finally quit acting the brat and was honest about what I felt which was not as horrible as all it seemed while in my own head, and now peace reigns in stairsville.

Rest well everyone and ttyl.

myhappyproject

Rounding the end of day 34 and I just had an amazing albieght short weekend at home with my Husband. Some of you know that about day 26 or so it felt like I would never get to the magical 30 day mark and I was happy to have been told that I needed to take a 6 week advanced training course which requires me to travel to PHL from SEA for 6 straight weeks. Well I finished week 1 last Friday, passed the test (thank goodness I wasn't drinking or I most likely would have failed miserably) and then flew home to SEA.

It was so wonderful to see my Husband. Although he hasn't said anything and I didn't announce the fact that I was quitting drinking, I knew that I had a problem and has been thouroghly enjoying the sober wife that I've become. For the first time in I don't know how long, we went for a mountain bike ride 1st thing Saturday morning, had lunch on the patio of a small in town cafe and enjoyed our time together, holding hands and laughing at each others jokes and stories.

This morning we went on another bike ride and did some light shopping for the week ahead, I took a long hot bath each day and a log nap Saturday afternoon continuing my extreme self care regimen. It feels so good to not be hiding. I was in my dressing room packing a few additional items for my trip and found an empty vodka bottle that I had forgotten to get rid of, it was like a stab in my heart, I feel sad for that girl.
******
Grace - I'm sorry that you and your husband are struggling. I'm so grateful that my Husband was willing to continue to try and save me.

I haven't announced my sobriety to him yet, I wanted to prove it to him via my actions first. It's our 20 year wedding anniversary this November. We have a tradition of taking a trip to celebrate and do some scuba diving. We're head to Kona, Hawaii this year and I'm planning on writing him a letter about my sobriety and thanking him for sticking by me. On our anniversary, I will be at 90 days and I'll feel more confident and willing to tell him anything and everything, no more secrets.

Hang in there, My prayers are that he sees your hardwork and can find it in his heart to support you fully.

*****
Steve - I'm so jealous, I'm a foodie and an wanna be chief in my spare time! I haven't been cooking that way for a while as I have the opposite problem, I'm trying to loose weight, so far I'm down 20+ pds since quitting alcohol. Your dinner sounded great, congrats tomorrow on 30 days!

Night all!