DeepBreath2012

Great job WWG. Bet the pup enjoyed the walk!

walkingwithgod

Yes, walks are good for both of us. It is also nice to be sober when my wife and I put our three year old to bed and say our prayers. This is not easy, but the alternative is worse.

DeepBreath2012

I agree...probably the hardest thing we'll ever do, but so very worth it...especially for you and your little one!

Prettynoose

It is the worst feeling to be 30 years old and realize that everything I believed about myself is a lie.

Before I made an effort to quit I thought I was a good mother, a homeschoolers, a Christian with a good grasp of theology, in a good long-term marriage, had good friends, a healthy eater and in better shape than anyone I knew.

Now that I am seeking sobriety I am nothing but a mess with too many un-controlled emotions. I feel like a complete fraud.

Dee74

I don't think all of that is a lie PN- we tend to go 'all or nothing' in early recovery, but the truth is none of us are either wholly black or wholly white

I think when you get some sober time behind you'll leave the despair and self loathing behind, and you'll start to rediscover who you really are again

D

Evan3

Thanks for the support, guys. I ended up just taking a short jog, hot shower, and a nap. I know, not the perfect remedy but it is now 8pm and my wife saved some dinner for me. I was so deep in the nap she didn't wake me. I don't feel the urge so much now, so I'm going to eat and watch some TV. I just have to remember that this, too, shall pass.

I guess it has been a while since I have gone 3 straight days without drinking. Don't feel any physical symptoms other than dog tired. It feels mainly psychological.
Thanks for the help! I might be back in 10 minutes, LOL
Evan

elihoping

This might sound strange but does anyone find facebook to be a bit of a trigger? I go online and see all these people I know, living what seem to be normal lives and all I can think is that I don't want to be dealing with this stuff right now. I want to have friendships and a relationship and a career and go on holidays and it doesn't seem fair that I have to focus on sobriety for the moment. I know that this stuff will come once I've gotten further along my path of sobriety but I suppose I'm just frustrated at having to learn to live like a normal person when other people just seem to know how, without this struggle. (end of childish rant!)

Dee74

It can be a trigger for a lot of new people here Eli - maybe it's a good idea to let FB go for a week or two?

D

Prettynoose

I guess I just feel like such a fraud, and I really want to b honest for the first time in my life. If I am honest about who I really am though, most of the people I know won't know what to do with that information.

Dee74

Real friends will accept you whatever, I think

D

Marjoram

eli - Remember everyone has skeletons in their closet. Everything can look wonderful on Facebook.

I think if we knew a lot of other people's problems, we'd rather have ours back.

And as Dee said, real friends love the person that is their friend, not the person they wish they could be.

DeepBreath2012

Feeling great tonight my friends.

Had a craving since I'm feeling so good...well, duh - I feel so good because I'm sober and feeling physically and mentally stronger than in a long time. So rode it out, talked myself into some rational thinking, and drank some water, lol.

Hope everyone is having a nice evening/morning/afternoon. Don't let those cravings sabatoge your success. I know all too well how easy it is to give in; much harder to fight them but so worth it.

Love to you all!

Coco210

Deep, sounds like you are doing awesome...thanks for sharing and encouraging everyone. Nothing takes the place of feeling great! Its hard everyone...but we have to change our mindset. That is where these folks here who have made it are so vital!!!

Marjoram

Hooray....I made it through those ugly hours that got me yesterday. Alas....another day one behind me (well, I'm working now, but there's no turning back). Not even thinking about tomorrow...no sense, it's not here yet.

Hope everyone is doing well tonight. Thanks for helping me get through the day today. Even without you knowing it, you helped me pass those party stores today, and you helped me beat that urge that I so wanted to cave into.

Hugs to all.

walkingwithgod

Reading posts before going to bed, sober and happy. I wish you all the best.

Evan3

I'm having to do the same thing with Facebook. Tired of seeing all of my high school and early military buddies with beer, beer, and more beer. Taking a break I think is good for us. If I have to be in a sobriety quilt when I'm not at work in the military for a little while i am all for it. This feels real and I am gonna run with it.

Marjoram

Evan - I just got back to reading where you joined more in depth. An you mentioned a "high functioning" alcoholic. That is my husband and myself. He drinks about the same as you - about 6-7 beers a night, and more on the weekend. But, he just doesn't sit and drink. He's chopping wood, mowing the lawn, washing vehicles, sharpening chain saws (good thing to do while drinking), etc. And I am the same, crown and diet or whatever is available, but still working my can off. Gardening, canning, weeding the flower beds, picking up dog poop (four dogs...what do you expect). Never sit still. And like yourself.....since it didn't hurt that part of me, I allowed it to keep going. But, it does hurt myself and everyone in the long run.

I think a lot of us think we have it under control for a long time because we are still getting things done. But, I knew my problem was getting worse when I was hiding it. And it scared me what it was doing to my health.

I just hope I can get my husband to get on board. I'm not sure some days.

It is very interesting how so much centers around drinking. When you are trying not to drink, it's shocking how much it's thrown in our faces.

sobrietygrl4

Glad to hear I'm not the only one that's having a Facebook meltdown! I found a quote that totally makes me think of Facebook: the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel. That's all Facebook is, everyone's highlight reel. I don't post that I'm a drunk and that I'm struggling. I'm sure I've got a few other friends on there that may be going through the same thing. But I don't see/hear about any of that, so I just feel alone. Until I get on here, anyway.

It's 8:45 pm. Like clockwork, my cravings, anxiousness, etc. pretty much dissipated around 8. And I made it. Even with a brief opportunity at my parents' house to sneak a drink, I pushed through and came out the other side sober. Why was I doubting my elation earlier? I'm thrilled to be sober right now!

Marjoram

Way to go SGrl!!!! Those darn hours are brutal - but dang, it sure feels good to get past them. They kicked my butt yesterday...but I kicked back today, and it feels much better. I'm not in the best of moods tonight, but this part feels wonderful so I'm running with it.

Groder

I'm not on Facebook, and these posts are giving me even more reasons to stay away!

It sounds like many of us faced temptations, and walked away today. I keep thinking, if we just do that over and over again...well, that's what sobriety looks like. Something built on many small decisions all pointing in the same direction getting us where we want to go.

Having my philosophical musings tonight...bear with me. I met with a therapist and told her about my latest binge drinking--which I did on half an Ambien so I completely blacked out the whole thing. She doesn't know me as a drinker since I try to keep it at bay. But obviously I do that because I have a problem. Anyway, the focus moved to the fact that I blacked out and that's the least interesting part of the event for me (most embarrassing, though). I wanted to get at why I was compelled to keep drinking on that night, not try to figure out what the blackout meant.

Ahhh, I clearly have a lot to think about and am not making much sense. Maybe the light of a new day will help bring perspective. The upshot is I felt the therapist understood less about me at the end of the session than she did at the beginning.