LSC1

I am a teacher too. Weekends are hard, let alone the holidayss

Jeni26

Indeed!

FindingSoleil

Just a quick check-in. Returned from CO last night safe and sound and sober.

Lots of catching up for me to do on here. Hope everyone is in a good place. Missed you all

HitRockBottom70

Good point here. That is why I picked up an extra 12 hour shift a week when I quit. It helped me push forward with sobriety, but it also began stressing me out beyond belief. I am on my feet for 12 hours straight and at time peoples lives are in my hands. It makes me feel good that I can help people and I get a sense of pride that nothing much else lives up to. I would like to think this is the real me. But I know I am somewhere in between. I put so much in at work that I just want to sit and watch tv and message you all when I'm off. I have really been trying to force myself to get out and stay active because I do better mentally when I am active. But is this just running from myself?

When I was out in LA I had a breakdown at the end of a horrible day. I will skip the details but it invoked many hours of dealing with my insecurities and awkwardness around strangers and having to deal with everyone drunk as f@ck for too many hours. I sat there with him at 330am crying... I had never been able to do anything social even since high school without being on something. That I feel like I am just in the wrong place, wrong world, always have been. He said to me, you look at all those people today, they all feel exactly the same. We are all just faking it the best we can.

Jeni26

Hey HRB, I think many of us know what it is like to feel as though we don't 'fit'. Looking back on my own life I always felt an outsider. I was so shy and socially awkward and I used alcohol to fill a hole inside. It gave me confidence and it seemed like the answer to my prayers. I was able to mix, talk to guys, get people to like me. Without it I was scared of everything. With it I was scared of nothing.
Without the drink I too feel exposed to those same childish feelings of awkwardness, embarrassment and fear of humiliation that I ever was. I think going to AA has really helped me with this as I've met people from all walks of life who have the same struggles as me and who accept me unconditionally. It's like being in a room full of people just like you guys.
My social circle has changed and shrunk considerably. I cannot be around drunk people at the moment. And drunk people were the only ones I knew for years.
I don't know the answer, but maybe we need to accept some social occasions are not right for us, look for different interests, new like minded friends?
Just wanted you to know you're not alone in how you feel xx

Leemzer

Hey everyone,
Checking in on this, my day 4 of being sober again. Work has taken off and I can tell that I did not do a tailspin with the drinking I did because I already feel like I did at a month when I quit. Never again will I attempt moderation again, because as I have said, I have realized that moderation is not what I have ever wanted. It is good to be back with you guys again and it is amazing how positive I feel again in just 4 days. I think most of us get to the point where enough is enough and we can play with fire if we wish but we will just end up feeling crummier quicker and quicker each time. There is always a new day.
Thanks to everyone for your support.
lee

Dee74

we continue here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-10-a.html

D