Class Of March 2011 pt 9
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Hey guys. Hope you made it ok last night, aussie. I've been feeling really craptastic, too. Just how you described...weird. I didn't think of the holiday angle, though I love the holidays and don't have a real reason to have anxiety about em or anything, so I'm not sure that's it. It's a gloomy feeling tho and I don't like it at all! Makes me wonder if there's something wrong chemically when I get like this, but I don't know, it's possible I'm just blue. Maybe I was drinking to try to make myself happy? Am I repeating myself? I don't remember. Oh well.
Hope you're day is going ok too Sir Postalot.
Frances, too! Jeez, we're all struggling a bit.
Hope you're day is going ok too Sir Postalot.
Frances, too! Jeez, we're all struggling a bit.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
Thanks for that, Lofty. "Zest for life" certainly sounds more positive than "melodramatic". 
I do tend to feel things strongly. Someone said something to me today that was very hurtful, and I'm reeling from it. I had to leave the room for about 10 minutes to cry it out and try to compose myself. Of course, if I were to drink I'd just take it even worse. And I don't think she meant it quite as badly as it came out.
And I'm sorry for your slow day. It only takes one great client, right? And remember that maybe you're there for "such a time as this" ... maybe someone needs to see your welcoming smile, or to BE seen, or who knows what purpose God might have in this. It might not be what you were expecting at all.
As for your weight goals, those are very reasonable. What changes are you making in order to reach them?
Frances, you are such a treasure! Seriously. You think so deeply and are so giving even in your own struggles. Thank you for all your encouragement as I try to figure everything out, and remember that you can lean on me, too. Healing works BOTH ways. ((((Frances))))
I do tend to feel things strongly. Someone said something to me today that was very hurtful, and I'm reeling from it. I had to leave the room for about 10 minutes to cry it out and try to compose myself. Of course, if I were to drink I'd just take it even worse. And I don't think she meant it quite as badly as it came out.And I'm sorry for your slow day. It only takes one great client, right? And remember that maybe you're there for "such a time as this" ... maybe someone needs to see your welcoming smile, or to BE seen, or who knows what purpose God might have in this. It might not be what you were expecting at all.
As for your weight goals, those are very reasonable. What changes are you making in order to reach them?
Frances, you are such a treasure! Seriously. You think so deeply and are so giving even in your own struggles. Thank you for all your encouragement as I try to figure everything out, and remember that you can lean on me, too. Healing works BOTH ways. ((((Frances))))
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
Mirage, you, too, huh? You know, all 4 of us live fairly close ... could SAD be kicking in with all this dreary weather? Maybe I'll hit a tanning bed sometime. It's no more expensive than drinking.
Oh, and I'll be in your town on Thanksgiving. Would you be up for a g2g?
Oh, and I'll be in your town on Thanksgiving. Would you be up for a g2g?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Yeah, I thought of SAD too, tho I've never really experienced that before. Aw, that would be great, but we won't be around. Heading north for the long weekend. Thanks for thinking of me, though.
That's good to hear, aussie.
That's good to hear, aussie.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,471
Dee, you're so amazingly cool. I wish I knew you in real life.
don't forget tho...you get all good Dee - and I can edit here
glad you made it Aussie
sorry for the craptastic atmos guys - hopefully by now, the tide is turning....
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Was reading around tonight and this jumped out at me. I don't have the OCD tendencies, but I can relate to missing the routine of it and wonder sometimes if I'm still kinda out of sorts not having it. Of course I could be over thinking, but I thought it was interesting.
"I have always been obsessive-compulsive in many areas of my life and the ritualistic aspects of drinking (thinking about it, preparing for it, imbibing in it, feeling guilty about it, repeating it all again) suit my OCD personality."
"I have always been obsessive-compulsive in many areas of my life and the ritualistic aspects of drinking (thinking about it, preparing for it, imbibing in it, feeling guilty about it, repeating it all again) suit my OCD personality."
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
I second Lofty's question ... run, Frances, RUN! 
<-- Frances is superwoman!
Aww, that's too bad, Mirage.
It would have been nice to meet you. But I understand. (and there's no way I could deal with staying any longer at my sil's house ... she kinda drives me nuts. We're about as diametrically opposite as could be.)
That's GREAT, Aussie! Did last night go any easier for you?
I am finding that (even though I'm only into this 3 days now) so far it's gone much better than the past few months. Maybe these anxiety meds really do help? Or I could just be in the honeymoon phase, too. Either way, abstaining has been less frantic this time than the past few months.
My doctor also told me about an anonymous therapy website that she learned about at a conference at the Mayo Clinic. It's actual therapy with a doctor, either in group or individual settings, but all online with screennames instead of real. There is a cost, but I haven't checked it out yet to learn what that is. She thought I might get something out of it. Any thoughts? It's called "Second Life" ... and alcohol therapy is just one of the options they offer. Have you heard of it, Dee? At her MD conference, they were told that those using it have been unusually successful.
We decided to skip church this morning to go see Breaking Dawn. Yay! I can't wait! Our pastor would have a fit, as he thinks those movies (and the Harry Potter ones) are bad, but I disagree completely. So we're going. I'm such a rebel.
So this week my meeting topic is on stress management, and I've been googling jokes and light stuff to open with (I like to get them laughing right off the bat when I can). I thought I'd share a few, for your reading enjoyment. I'll just choose a couple for the meeting, but they're funny so I thought I'd share with you all.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you weren’t asleep.
I’m not tense. I’m just terribly, terribly alert.
Most stress is caused by three things: family, money, and family with no money.
“Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.” – unknown
Therapy is expensive. Popping plastic bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
The Non-Stress Diet:
This diet is designed to help you cope with stress which normally builds up during the day.
Breakfast
1/2 Grapefruit
1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast, Dry
8 oz. Skim Milk
Lunch
4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast
1 cup Steamed Spinach
1 cup Herb Tea
1 Oreo Cookie
Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of the Oreos in the package
2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce
Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream
Dinner
Loaves of Garlic Bread with Cheese
Large Sausage, Mushroom & Cheese Pizza
3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bars
Rules For This Diet:
1. If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Example: hot chocolate, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Example: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. Examples: Peanut Butter on a knife and ice cream on a spoon.
10. Food of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.
11. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other.
And I'm definitely closing with this one. It's not funny, but it's really worthwhile. I'll be delving into some deeper coping mechanisms, so this is a powerful last thought:
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” –William James
<-- Frances is superwoman!Aww, that's too bad, Mirage.
It would have been nice to meet you. But I understand. (and there's no way I could deal with staying any longer at my sil's house ... she kinda drives me nuts. We're about as diametrically opposite as could be.)That's GREAT, Aussie! Did last night go any easier for you?
I am finding that (even though I'm only into this 3 days now) so far it's gone much better than the past few months. Maybe these anxiety meds really do help? Or I could just be in the honeymoon phase, too. Either way, abstaining has been less frantic this time than the past few months.
My doctor also told me about an anonymous therapy website that she learned about at a conference at the Mayo Clinic. It's actual therapy with a doctor, either in group or individual settings, but all online with screennames instead of real. There is a cost, but I haven't checked it out yet to learn what that is. She thought I might get something out of it. Any thoughts? It's called "Second Life" ... and alcohol therapy is just one of the options they offer. Have you heard of it, Dee? At her MD conference, they were told that those using it have been unusually successful.
We decided to skip church this morning to go see Breaking Dawn. Yay! I can't wait! Our pastor would have a fit, as he thinks those movies (and the Harry Potter ones) are bad, but I disagree completely. So we're going. I'm such a rebel.
So this week my meeting topic is on stress management, and I've been googling jokes and light stuff to open with (I like to get them laughing right off the bat when I can). I thought I'd share a few, for your reading enjoyment. I'll just choose a couple for the meeting, but they're funny so I thought I'd share with you all.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you weren’t asleep.
I’m not tense. I’m just terribly, terribly alert.
Most stress is caused by three things: family, money, and family with no money.
“Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.” – unknown
Therapy is expensive. Popping plastic bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
The Non-Stress Diet:
This diet is designed to help you cope with stress which normally builds up during the day.
Breakfast
1/2 Grapefruit
1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast, Dry
8 oz. Skim Milk
Lunch
4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast
1 cup Steamed Spinach
1 cup Herb Tea
1 Oreo Cookie
Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of the Oreos in the package
2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce
Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream
Dinner
Loaves of Garlic Bread with Cheese
Large Sausage, Mushroom & Cheese Pizza
3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bars
Rules For This Diet:
1. If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Example: hot chocolate, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Example: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. Examples: Peanut Butter on a knife and ice cream on a spoon.
10. Food of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.
11. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other.
And I'm definitely closing with this one. It's not funny, but it's really worthwhile. I'll be delving into some deeper coping mechanisms, so this is a powerful last thought:
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” –William James
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 1,178
Oh, and I found a cool cartoon that I'm going to copy onto big flip chart paper, too. It's called a "Stress Management Kit". It says that at the top, and then there's a big circle in the middle of the page. In the circle it says, "bang head here". 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
haha..cute stuff, PBC. Hey if for some reason we don't go, I'll let you know.
I think Frances is running today. ? Good luck girl..have a great time!
I hear ya, Dee. I think I may be still adjusting to not doing it..not smoking, too..that added to it. Sometimes I think I should give myself a break as I'm breaking 25 year old habits and then the other part of me tells me I've had enough time to adjust and to just get over it. I hate arguing with myself. There's not even make-up sex. lol..ok, that was unnecessary.
I think Frances is running today. ? Good luck girl..have a great time!
I hear ya, Dee. I think I may be still adjusting to not doing it..not smoking, too..that added to it. Sometimes I think I should give myself a break as I'm breaking 25 year old habits and then the other part of me tells me I've had enough time to adjust and to just get over it. I hate arguing with myself. There's not even make-up sex. lol..ok, that was unnecessary.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
I like how you think, PBC. I think I'll just draw a big circle on my wall!
I hope all are well. I've had a bit of a flipped out weekend. I posted a strong post on newcomers Friday, and within hours was wanting very badly to drink and/or smoke. It was like a void of my vices needed filling. I started questioning why I'm doing this, giving myself outs; "you only live once", "you're not superhuman", "give yourself a break". I became short-tempered, angry, surly. I was going to go to a meeting Friday night, but my stomach got upset. Yesterday, more of the same. But, I found a meeting last night, and it helped a little. Today, fine until the wife started in, then flipped again. Made it to church, and had to rush home with an upset stomach.
Maybe I'm getting sick. Last night, my ear lobes started burning, and turned red. Yet, it was 60 degrees, so it wasn't cold. My itching came back. I went to bed early, only to be awoken by my wife, who couldn't find the dog, didn't tie her up when she let her out, and then said, oh well, no one wants the dog anyway. I called her a POS. What lame thinking! Even though its true I think the dog has proven more than my family can/will handle, and it's polluted my house with stains, smells, and allergens that effect me, I don't consider it running away and getting hit by a car the responsible way to handle it, but evidently thats okay with my wife. Thats just lazy in every possible way. I got up and circled the neighborhood, since she wasn't going to, only to have her track me down after 15 min and tell me that the dog was in our daughters room the whole time. I had twice asked if she checked everywhere, including there. Went to bed mad. Yet, my wife still gave me her dramatic victim routine, a regular show at the home theater.
This morning, at church, I was glad I hadn't drank. Truthfully, I've been setting myself up for the fall. On Halloween weekend, when we had our fire and stew, I bought a 12 pack of Miller Lite for the neighbors. Its been sitting in the bar fridge since. It didn't affect me, so I thought, well, we sometimes have folks over, so maybe I'm strong enough to stock the bar. And that I've done over the last two weeks. It's up to a case and a half of beers of varying types, and several big bottles of wine. I've even planned to go to the liquor store for bourbon and vodka. Just in case we have guests.
Oh yeah...that's right, we rarely have guests anymore since my wife and I started airing our dirty married laundry a couple years back, and I became an ******** drunk. Damn. Oh well, you can't fault a guy for dreaming, huh? I mean, any day now, throngs of people are gonna want to start hanging with us again, right?
Anyway, I'm sitting in church, hearing the message, nodding and smiling at friends and clients, and thinking, man, would this be different right now if I was hungover or still drunk, as many a time I was. Then I thought, maybe I'm going through a new threshold of growth. Like a baby cries with growing pains, I've been getting pissed off and wanting to bail on it all. It's tiring, wearisome. Then I remembered that speaker I told you all about, Dr. Kevin Elko, and one of his tenets; "fight weary". That's what you do when you feel like giving up, 'cause the likelihood is that you are close to the next level of success when you are that worn out.
Then I started thinking about the fact that our earth is in constant spiritual warfare. If you want to change your life for the better, you'd better believe the Evil One has his eye on you, and will want to stand in your way. He'll laugh when you crumble, and compromise your goal or give up. Fight weary. Satan delights in depression, melancholy, and drunkenness. It's a win for him when we allow those to control us. Those facets are not necessarily evil unto themselves, but when they win, Satan wins.
It's true. So, FIGHT WEARY!!!!!
I hope all are well. I've had a bit of a flipped out weekend. I posted a strong post on newcomers Friday, and within hours was wanting very badly to drink and/or smoke. It was like a void of my vices needed filling. I started questioning why I'm doing this, giving myself outs; "you only live once", "you're not superhuman", "give yourself a break". I became short-tempered, angry, surly. I was going to go to a meeting Friday night, but my stomach got upset. Yesterday, more of the same. But, I found a meeting last night, and it helped a little. Today, fine until the wife started in, then flipped again. Made it to church, and had to rush home with an upset stomach.
Maybe I'm getting sick. Last night, my ear lobes started burning, and turned red. Yet, it was 60 degrees, so it wasn't cold. My itching came back. I went to bed early, only to be awoken by my wife, who couldn't find the dog, didn't tie her up when she let her out, and then said, oh well, no one wants the dog anyway. I called her a POS. What lame thinking! Even though its true I think the dog has proven more than my family can/will handle, and it's polluted my house with stains, smells, and allergens that effect me, I don't consider it running away and getting hit by a car the responsible way to handle it, but evidently thats okay with my wife. Thats just lazy in every possible way. I got up and circled the neighborhood, since she wasn't going to, only to have her track me down after 15 min and tell me that the dog was in our daughters room the whole time. I had twice asked if she checked everywhere, including there. Went to bed mad. Yet, my wife still gave me her dramatic victim routine, a regular show at the home theater.
This morning, at church, I was glad I hadn't drank. Truthfully, I've been setting myself up for the fall. On Halloween weekend, when we had our fire and stew, I bought a 12 pack of Miller Lite for the neighbors. Its been sitting in the bar fridge since. It didn't affect me, so I thought, well, we sometimes have folks over, so maybe I'm strong enough to stock the bar. And that I've done over the last two weeks. It's up to a case and a half of beers of varying types, and several big bottles of wine. I've even planned to go to the liquor store for bourbon and vodka. Just in case we have guests.
Oh yeah...that's right, we rarely have guests anymore since my wife and I started airing our dirty married laundry a couple years back, and I became an ******** drunk. Damn. Oh well, you can't fault a guy for dreaming, huh? I mean, any day now, throngs of people are gonna want to start hanging with us again, right?
Anyway, I'm sitting in church, hearing the message, nodding and smiling at friends and clients, and thinking, man, would this be different right now if I was hungover or still drunk, as many a time I was. Then I thought, maybe I'm going through a new threshold of growth. Like a baby cries with growing pains, I've been getting pissed off and wanting to bail on it all. It's tiring, wearisome. Then I remembered that speaker I told you all about, Dr. Kevin Elko, and one of his tenets; "fight weary". That's what you do when you feel like giving up, 'cause the likelihood is that you are close to the next level of success when you are that worn out.
Then I started thinking about the fact that our earth is in constant spiritual warfare. If you want to change your life for the better, you'd better believe the Evil One has his eye on you, and will want to stand in your way. He'll laugh when you crumble, and compromise your goal or give up. Fight weary. Satan delights in depression, melancholy, and drunkenness. It's a win for him when we allow those to control us. Those facets are not necessarily evil unto themselves, but when they win, Satan wins.
It's true. So, FIGHT WEARY!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,581
Aw man..I wish we could give you a big group hug. Sounds like a rough time right now. It's amazing that you see what's going on tho, Lofty. Like the setting yourself for the fall part. That's something you may not have been able to see ahead of time before...that you were doing that. I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well, hope you feel better soon. I'd get rid of the booze, kiddo.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,471
I'm sorry your weekend's been pretty crappy, Lofty.
but I agree - life is short - we really need to make the most of it.
I dunno about you but I pretty much pissed away 20 years of my life. Enough is enough.
I've lived more in the last 5 years, I've done more, and I've been granted the opportunity to become the man I want to be - that's a great gift.
I've seen the same gift working in you - let's both not squander it
Dump the beer or give it away Lofty, IMO.
D
but I agree - life is short - we really need to make the most of it.
I dunno about you but I pretty much pissed away 20 years of my life. Enough is enough.
I've lived more in the last 5 years, I've done more, and I've been granted the opportunity to become the man I want to be - that's a great gift.
I've seen the same gift working in you - let's both not squander it
Dump the beer or give it away Lofty, IMO.
D
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,471
I haven't heard of Second Life PBC, not in this context anyway - only second life I know is an online roleplaying game thingy.
lol your alcoholism will never send you flowers mirage
dave? aussie? prof? hope you guys are ok
hope the race went well Frances
D
lol your alcoholism will never send you flowers mirage
dave? aussie? prof? hope you guys are ok
hope the race went well Frances
D
orangutan
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 5,970
Morning all,
it sounds like what I have got is catching , everyone has gone down with this rotten feeling and the booze is trying to ween its way back in.
Lofty I wish I had some words of wisdom but all I've got is a hug and I'm going to stand here and say don't let the b*st*rd win you deserve better than that. Everyone seemed to be doing so well ,lots of positive posts, now this. For me I know I have been dwelling on the up coming Xmas holidays , I hate this time of the year and this is going to be my first one sober in about 35 years so the closer they are the worse I am feeling. I would like to be able to skip summer all together and go straight to Autumn.
Glad your all here guys, thanks.
it sounds like what I have got is catching , everyone has gone down with this rotten feeling and the booze is trying to ween its way back in.
Lofty I wish I had some words of wisdom but all I've got is a hug and I'm going to stand here and say don't let the b*st*rd win you deserve better than that. Everyone seemed to be doing so well ,lots of positive posts, now this. For me I know I have been dwelling on the up coming Xmas holidays , I hate this time of the year and this is going to be my first one sober in about 35 years so the closer they are the worse I am feeling. I would like to be able to skip summer all together and go straight to Autumn.
Glad your all here guys, thanks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
I am here and come with fresh STRENGTH RESOLVE AND DETERMINATION vibes, enough for everyone.
I had a great race, did great with the logistics and inter-personal stuff that inevitably comes out when 12 women coordinate a run together and stay in hotels together. I stayed with my friends for the first 6 miles and then took off. I bested my May time by 5 minutes.
Drinking solves nothing. It lies and cheats to get its way. The only way to kill it is to starve it with sobriety and isolate it with Truth, Love, Compassion, Sharing and Camaraderie.
The holidays have always sucked for me--Can You Say ANXIETY and F-ed up Family?--but I'm doing it sober and know I will find joy by doing that with all of you.
XO
I had a great race, did great with the logistics and inter-personal stuff that inevitably comes out when 12 women coordinate a run together and stay in hotels together. I stayed with my friends for the first 6 miles and then took off. I bested my May time by 5 minutes.
Drinking solves nothing. It lies and cheats to get its way. The only way to kill it is to starve it with sobriety and isolate it with Truth, Love, Compassion, Sharing and Camaraderie.
The holidays have always sucked for me--Can You Say ANXIETY and F-ed up Family?--but I'm doing it sober and know I will find joy by doing that with all of you.
XO
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