Dee74

Continues from here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...11-pt2-20.html

Thanks guys,
D

wantthistostop

Thing is i didn't realise i was missing it... i dont sit at home and say 'gosh a drink would be nice right now'. So that's why it shocked me - was strange because ive put it out of my mind. That conversation with therapist showed me that its still lurking in there somewhere....

'The only real difference is that we can resurrect this friend, and when we do, we realize that it was only a fairweather friend to begin with!'

I do not want to resurrect this so called friend - they never have my best interest at heart. Thanks for your words Lofty

Really4Real

Yeah, WTTS.... resurrecting 'it' is no fun at all. Keep it dead. To do otherwise is totally insane (I KNOW)!

Anyway, got a break here at work before I go on with the rest of my busy day. Doing ok... had some funky dreams last night and some weird physical happens with my eyes/dizziness today that lasted about an hour or so. Gotta get that checked out some day since it happens off and on.

Nice to hear from you Amy... glad you're doing so well

Catch y'all later

Piotr

Had a individual therapy session yesterday. Starting afternoon group therapy - relapses - on Tuesday, also doing a marathon weekend group session - 10h Saturday and Sunday on relapses. Will also have an individual session every 1-2 weeks. So keeping busy which is very good for me.

Business wise not doing to good. Made only one hard phone call - it was difficult and didnot bring anything new.The words were kind but the tone sort of "you're a drunk, why should I trust you again". And no inquiries were sent my way. Must try again.

There is a no-alcohol dance-event organized by an AA group I go to on Saturday. Would love to go and dance but then the last time I danced soberly was probably in elementary school

Have a great sober day everyone !

Dee74

why not give it a whirl Piotr?

D

LoftyIdeals

Hey Piotr,
Sorry about your first phone call experience. Give it time, and keep reaching out. The way I figure, there's a whole world of prospects that I haven't already disappointed with poor service due to my alcoholism. And those who I have let down, may or may not forgive and use my services again. I would recommend starting small and building your momentum up to your bigger accounts. You can do this! In sobriety, we can do all sorts of things we couldn't due in the black cloud of drunkenness.

Make it a great day!

Really4Real

Piotr.... you made it through that phone call ok though - you did. Keep trying. Trust is a hard thing to win back and may take some time, but it's do-able. The dance sounds like fun... you should go anyway - see what happens

Piotr

Keeping busy = not thinking of drinking for me. Long beach walk yesterday, even the sun came out for a little while, 1 hour gym workout and AA meeting.

Finally bought a bus pass, had no more excuses as could be done online and only had to pick it up when ready. Also for the first time in many, many years caught up with a departing bus. All the exercise came in handy

Have a terrific day !

Really4Real

Yeah, Piotr.... nice on catching the bus.... I have to get BACK to exercising before I have to go out and buy new clothes

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

LoftyIdeals

Nice job on the bus, Piotr. I thought of you the other day when I saw a new KIA ad running in the US. It features a guy in tights on rollerblades being towed by a KIA, and who takes a ramp, catches a basketball in mid-air, and dunks it in a 100 ft high basket and hangs from the rim. He reminded me of your avatar. Funny ad.

Hope all are well. Where's rs2 been lately?

prayforstrength

Hello Friends!! I thought I'd drop in and say hi.

I have been battling a cold/flu thing for two weeks now and work has been crazy but all is well.

Piotr - Hope things are going well and I pray that your business opportunities improve greatly and quickly...and...I hope you dance!

R4R - I hope you are feeling great!! All the best.

Lofty, amy, hml, Dee, wantthistostop, rs2 and everyone - have a fantastic weekend!!

prayforstrength

PS: R4R - the dizziness thing almost sounds like vertigo - something my step-sister gets every now and then.

rs2

I'm with you there, R4R. I havent worried at all about diet since quitting the alcohol, but its time to do so or I'll have to spend all themoney i saved not drinking wine on a new wardrobe 2" bigger! I thought that cutting out the bottle of wine a night would make me lose some weight, but I think to many trips through the Chic-Filet drive through for their ice cream has replaced the calories!

Gotten comfortable without the alcohol and not checking in here as often. Was fairly obsessed with all the emotion and social challenges in the beginning, but those have faded. Even got the Yacht Club to order me some non-alcholic beer.

Admittedly though, have thought about trying the moderation thing. Dont know if that can work, or if total abstinence is really the only way. Emotionally, in the beginning, I couldnt really take the idea of saying I quit forever, but now thats really not so scary.

Alcohol is such a tricky little demon, if you can easily quit drinking, then its not a problem, but if you have a problem quitting, then it IS a problem. So if you keep drinking the "not a problem" may lead to or become a problem.

Thanks to this board that has been a very good guide and friend through the process. Because of you guys i am 76 days sober today when I'd only planned to quit for 10 days or so in the beginning.

Have a wonderful day.
rs2

Dee74

I think most of us have tried moderation before coming here tho Rs2 - haven't you?

ultimately of course it's a personal decision, but I know it's easy to think 'well I've not drunk for however many days maybe I'll be ok now...maybe I've learnt control' but it's a false premise for me - whenever I reintroduce alcohol into my life sooner or later I always return to square one.

D

Piotr

Lofty - saw the ad on youtube - funny

rs2 - I thought I could drink moderately after 6 weeks being sober, therapists must be wrong about this, I am strong etc. This was in June. Needless to say, I failed miserably. Back to soberness and therapy in August and still keeping it up. Total abstinence is the only way for me - as they told me in therapy - a pickled cucumber will not return to being green again, an alcoholic will not return to "normal" drinking.

Day 80 and happy I'm sober.

Marathon therapy session during the weekend. Have learned a lot about relapses, the phases of them and worked out a detailed action-plan for dealing with it. Makes me feel more confident in my soberness.

Also somehow managed to go to the AA dance on Saturday. Totally not my music - a quite bad guy playing a keyboard and singing, but decided, when in Rome ... Danced till half past midnight, home by 1, up by 7 am for therapy Oh and the therapist noticed I had a lot more energy and willingness to share and open-up on Sunday then Saturday.

Have a great sober day !

rs2

Thanks Piotr & Dee:

Ya'll are correct. I feel good, and feel like I can control my drinking.

Yes Dee, I've tried moderating before (didnt try hard, but beat myself up every morning in the shower for drinking the night before), but once I'm drinking, I lose the inhibition and the desire to stop is easilty overcome. Another point is that I likely will not feel the effect of 1 or 2 drinks, so I think; "well, whats the point?"

When I've considered drinking again, I feel pretty anxious about my ability to control it and have begun to realize that I can avoid that mental pressure by just not drinking. Ok, just typing this out makes me feel like starting again is not a very good idea.

I think i might just pour myself into a pre-holiday excercise routine to lose weight and see how that goes without the alcohol slowing me down.

Thanks again ya'll.
Sincerely,
rs2

rs2

Piotr

80 FREAKING DAYS? Thats awesome man! Congratulations. I know you've been through a lot more hell than I have and my hats off to you for sticking with sobriety. Thanks for posting your experienc and wisdom, and CONGRATULATIONS on almost 3 months of sobriety!!

Sincerely,
rs2

Really4Real

GREAT JOB, PIOTR!!! 80 days... hmmmm someday, I'll be able to say that also You really are inspiring to me. Keep up the good work!

rs2... moderation has NEVER worked for me... I kept trying though... each time I'd do ok for a few days then BAM - it would swallow me whole. Then it would take quite a while to get back on my feet again. I have both feet planted under me again... and I want to keep it that way. So, total abstinence is the only way for me.

Have a very good day everyone! You deserve it

Piotr

R4R - relapses are part of the sickness. You have another experience and are wiser thus.

Started my afternoon therapy today. Once a week 2.5 hours for 8 weeks of relapses. Different therapist, the group is mostly people I do not know - thankfully in the same therapy room which was home for the last 2 months. So somehow I was active and the words freely flowed to my suprise sometimes. If you're not working why bother going.

Take care everyone !

wantthistostop

Hi guys - hope you are all well and staying strong.
Piotr - good job on the 80 and going strong by the sound of it - keep it up.
r4r - hope you have had a word with the doctor about the dizziness (an hour is a long spell) and you mentioned your eyes... do you wear glasses or contacts? Could need a check up. Hope you are keeping well beside this.
Prayforstrength - hows that flu/cold coming.. hope you've managed to shake it!
rs2 - how you doing? Please do keep up with all your efforts - i think we've all tried the moderating thing, last time i tried i wrecked the last good thing in my life! I can understand why we get to a point in our abstinence where we believe we would be able to 'manage' it but i think Piotr summed it up...
Dee, Lofty - hope you are both well.