Class of August 2011 Pt 3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 66
I had a one2one session this evening - and the only time i smiled and my mood lifted was when i mentioned this forum and how much i enjoy interacting with you guys.
Im very grateful for this place and for all of you x Cant thank you enough your all a big help to me.
Im very grateful for this place and for all of you x Cant thank you enough your all a big help to me.
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Good Morning Everyone!
Lofty, Piotr, WTTS, rs2, PFS, Amy - everyone else... you guys are wonderful and I'm very thankful to have you as a part of my life
I'm doing good. I'm sober and settling once again into the fact that I do NOT want to drink.... no matter what my body or 'the voice' or whatever the heck it is tells me!
Have another big therapy session tomorrow night - looking forward to it only because I know it's healing me up - even though it hurts like you-know-what (and sometimes worse)
Have a fantastic day!!
Lofty, Piotr, WTTS, rs2, PFS, Amy - everyone else... you guys are wonderful and I'm very thankful to have you as a part of my life
I'm doing good. I'm sober and settling once again into the fact that I do NOT want to drink.... no matter what my body or 'the voice' or whatever the heck it is tells me!
Have another big therapy session tomorrow night - looking forward to it only because I know it's healing me up - even though it hurts like you-know-what (and sometimes worse)
Have a fantastic day!!
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Good morning, all...
I am still a day behind Piotr, low 80s, and improving every day. Work has picked up tremendously, and I've been real tired. Plus, with the darkening days, I've been early to bed, early to rise.
I'm still getting better every day, but having the occasional dry drunk, or vicarious drunk. Biz travel hasn't allowed much work in recovery to be done, and I've got to get back on the bus. I downloaded a book from Hazelden on the 4th step, and look forward to some time to work on it; don't know when that will be, probably Thanksgiving.
Growth is good! Sober growth in recovery is great!
I am still a day behind Piotr, low 80s, and improving every day. Work has picked up tremendously, and I've been real tired. Plus, with the darkening days, I've been early to bed, early to rise.
I'm still getting better every day, but having the occasional dry drunk, or vicarious drunk. Biz travel hasn't allowed much work in recovery to be done, and I've got to get back on the bus. I downloaded a book from Hazelden on the 4th step, and look forward to some time to work on it; don't know when that will be, probably Thanksgiving.
Growth is good! Sober growth in recovery is great!
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
Hey fellow users I have been doing pretty well so far with being Sober. I am part of the August Class 2011 my dry date being August 15th 2011. Things are great and I am still attending 4 times a week AA and coming to this site at night after work. It really does help me with support and my family are proud I'm staying sober once again. It really is a relief that I can choose not to drink where before I always wanted to drink even if it hurt friends and family. How is everyone doing?
I have been doing pretty well so far with being Sober. I am part of the August Class 2011 my dry date being August 15th 2011. Things are great and I am still attending 4 times a week AA and coming to this site at night after work. It really does help me with support and my family are proud I'm staying sober once again. It really is a relief that I can choose not to drink where before I always wanted to drink even if it hurt friends and family. How is everyone doing?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 95
Hello Friends!! Hope you all are doing great.
I am finally getting over the flu. Now into day 80 something and I really don't think about "days" or "drinking" anymore.
Still struggle with a bit of anxiety/moods here and there but definetely manageable. One curious thing I have noticed is time seems to go more slowly and make more sense. Before days would just blur together and time flew by. I have been sober for over 80 days but it really seems longer to me. Weird.
Ojibway - Great to hear from you!! Sounds like you are doing very well! All the best.
Wantthistostop - Always good to see you here posting. You rock! I love you guys and this site too. Once in a while my husband will ask what I'm doing on the laptop and I tell him "checking in with my friends" and pat my computer lovingly
Lofty - I found your "dry drunk" and "vicarious drunk" comments interesting...I have found that on occassion, especially when around my husband who drinks alot, I feel drunk. I don't understand it at all. It hasn't happened in a while which is good!
R4R and Dee - Hope all is well with you guys. You two are awesome and I appreciate your truth.
Piotr - Hope things are going well in therapy and otherwise.
Everyone - have a super fantastic sober weekend and blessings to each and every one of you, my dear friends and supporters.
Peace!!
I am finally getting over the flu. Now into day 80 something and I really don't think about "days" or "drinking" anymore.
Still struggle with a bit of anxiety/moods here and there but definetely manageable. One curious thing I have noticed is time seems to go more slowly and make more sense. Before days would just blur together and time flew by. I have been sober for over 80 days but it really seems longer to me. Weird.
Ojibway - Great to hear from you!! Sounds like you are doing very well! All the best.
Wantthistostop - Always good to see you here posting. You rock! I love you guys and this site too. Once in a while my husband will ask what I'm doing on the laptop and I tell him "checking in with my friends" and pat my computer lovingly
Lofty - I found your "dry drunk" and "vicarious drunk" comments interesting...I have found that on occassion, especially when around my husband who drinks alot, I feel drunk. I don't understand it at all. It hasn't happened in a while which is good!
R4R and Dee - Hope all is well with you guys. You two are awesome and I appreciate your truth.
Piotr - Hope things are going well in therapy and otherwise.
Everyone - have a super fantastic sober weekend and blessings to each and every one of you, my dear friends and supporters.
Peace!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 117
Originally Posted by LoftyIdeals 
but having the occasional dry drunk, or vicarious drunk. !
Hope everyone is doing well. Welcome Obije!! Glad you're with us. Have another wonderful sober weekend Augustinians!
rs2
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Baltic coast
Posts: 1,371
rs2 - in therapy they talked about a dry hangover - you feel some symptoms of a hangover, for me its being thirsty and dizziness and you did not drink the night before. Could not really understand it, until I had my first one - after being in a situation where others drank and having a drinking dream. For me a sign I have to be extra careful the next few days.
pfs - glad to hear you are feeling better. I also feel the days being more meanigful. First of all I remember most of them but more importantly I do a LOT more things. Life stopped being about a bottle with some sort of chemical fluid. Now I "only" have to learn or relearn how to live a normal sober life and enjoy the joys it brings me.
wtts, r4r, dee - hope you are doing well
AA meeting yesterday but it was way too cold in the church basement, so left during the break. 5 gym workouts in 5 days - keeps me smiling and occupied.
My daughters 16th birthday. Invited her to dinner. We haven't talked 1 to 1 since February, so was quite nervous. Turned out really nice, though we didn't discuss all the tough issues. Managed to tell her my rehearsed line about how much I would like to re-establish our relationship. For a start we're going to a swimming-pool together next week.
Weekend ahead and as usual started to feel lonely and a little worried about the bottle. Was so preoccupied with todays meeting that did not plan anything.
Have an awesome weekend everyone !
pfs - glad to hear you are feeling better.
I also feel the days being more meanigful. First of all I remember most of them but more importantly I do a LOT more things. Life stopped being about a bottle with some sort of chemical fluid. Now I "only" have to learn or relearn how to live a normal sober life and enjoy the joys it brings me.wtts, r4r, dee - hope you are doing well
AA meeting yesterday but it was way too cold in the church basement, so left during the break. 5 gym workouts in 5 days - keeps me smiling and occupied.
My daughters 16th birthday. Invited her to dinner. We haven't talked 1 to 1 since February, so was quite nervous. Turned out really nice, though we didn't discuss all the tough issues. Managed to tell her my rehearsed line about how much I would like to re-establish our relationship. For a start we're going to a swimming-pool together next week.
Weekend ahead and as usual started to feel lonely and a little worried about the bottle. Was so preoccupied with todays meeting that did not plan anything.
Have an awesome weekend everyone !
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Great progress Piotr!
The dry drunk has been described a number of different ways. At an AA meeting this week, I used it to describe feeling drunk without drinking when being around folks who are drunk or drinking, like PFS described, or, spontaneously when driving down the road, as in a "flashback". However, I was told by a veteran that I was describing a "vicarious drunk" and he said it's addressed in AA's Living Sober, which I haven't yet re-read. Another veteran went on to say that a dry drunk is one who is stagnant in their growth and develepment in sobriety, and still deals regularly with restlessness, irritability and depression, or RID, as he called it. I have certainly had those days, but also days of growth. According the the AAers, you grow commensurately with how diligently you work the 12 step program. I both agree and disagree with that, and am working the steps at a manageable pace, but accepting instruction, from both a sponsor and book and non-AA books, on that growth and development.
I can sense the days that I'm growing, and those that I'm stagnant. But, as my avatar says, its a journey, not a destination, so "easy does it" works for me.
The dry drunk has been described a number of different ways. At an AA meeting this week, I used it to describe feeling drunk without drinking when being around folks who are drunk or drinking, like PFS described, or, spontaneously when driving down the road, as in a "flashback". However, I was told by a veteran that I was describing a "vicarious drunk" and he said it's addressed in AA's Living Sober, which I haven't yet re-read. Another veteran went on to say that a dry drunk is one who is stagnant in their growth and develepment in sobriety, and still deals regularly with restlessness, irritability and depression, or RID, as he called it. I have certainly had those days, but also days of growth. According the the AAers, you grow commensurately with how diligently you work the 12 step program. I both agree and disagree with that, and am working the steps at a manageable pace, but accepting instruction, from both a sponsor and book and non-AA books, on that growth and development.
I can sense the days that I'm growing, and those that I'm stagnant. But, as my avatar says, its a journey, not a destination, so "easy does it" works for me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 66
ah gosh - by the sounds of that im a 'dry drunk' then... as i feel very stagnant, reclusive and depressed 
Thing is im aware of it (being stagnant) and i know i need to kick my ass into some sort of gear and start functioning - just finding it really hard!!
Felt good after my session on Tuesday... I confessed that i was scared!! Scared of what lays ahead (if anything) I have a feeling that is what is slowing me down at the moment.. The not knowing where this is all heading and what im going to be like 'on the other side' so to speak. (that was actually upsetting to type!)
Well guys, wishing you all a sober weekend. Piotr nice that you are building your relationship with daughter, you really are doing so well.
Thing is im aware of it (being stagnant) and i know i need to kick my ass into some sort of gear and start functioning - just finding it really hard!!Felt good after my session on Tuesday... I confessed that i was scared!! Scared of what lays ahead (if anything) I have a feeling that is what is slowing me down at the moment.. The not knowing where this is all heading and what im going to be like 'on the other side' so to speak. (that was actually upsetting to type!)
Well guys, wishing you all a sober weekend. Piotr nice that you are building your relationship with daughter, you really are doing so well.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I really think it's futile to try and compare your recovery journey with someone else's wantthistostop - each of us has our own individual histories and personalities - noone else could undertake your journey, just as noone else could undertake mine
Just try and relax - I know it's tempting to jump ahead and think about we're you're going etc, but each of us can only live one day at time...and you have a lot of support here. There's really no reason why you shouldn't continue with the success you've been having
none of us would be here if we lost anything by getting sober...if you feel a loss though or you feel like you're in a rut or whatever, maybe it's worth taking time out to try and work out why that is?
If you can pinpoint whatever it is, then you have the chance to do something about it
D
Just try and relax - I know it's tempting to jump ahead and think about we're you're going etc, but each of us can only live one day at time...and you have a lot of support here. There's really no reason why you shouldn't continue with the success you've been having
none of us would be here if we lost anything by getting sober...if you feel a loss though or you feel like you're in a rut or whatever, maybe it's worth taking time out to try and work out why that is?
If you can pinpoint whatever it is, then you have the chance to do something about it
D
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
I couldn't agree with Dee more, WTTS. Especially during the first year or so of sobriety. I know I feel different in recovery one day to the next. As time progresses, the good days are starting to give the bad ones a run for their money. But, I have faith that the trend will continue over time.
We took a lot of time to get to the point of wanting to stop; recovery will come in its own time, but if you consider your life on a continuum, I'm sure the recovery part will be quicker than the years of demise. Put another way, if you follow the graph of demise without recovery, or without continued recovery, it isn't a pretty picture.
Give yourself a break, and let tomorrow take care if itself. Today has enough worries of its own. One day at a time, my friend. Just keep at it. (Wow...just re-read that...how many cliche's can I fit in a sentence?)
I went to a surprise 40th birthday party last night. I had a water and a bottled green tea. I had kind of dreaded this one, as it involved my closest group of friends from church, who had become among my biggest drinking buddies. I had been avoiding them since stopping drinking 82 days ago. Today is day 83. No one said a word. In fact, in the room of about 75 people, about half were not drinking, and no one got drunk, at least while we were there. That would not have been the perspective I had when drinking. I would have honed in on the biggest drinker, and probably outdone them.
It's amazing how I was fooling myself for so many years. And how much of a fool I was.
Enjoy the remaining weekend, all!
We took a lot of time to get to the point of wanting to stop; recovery will come in its own time, but if you consider your life on a continuum, I'm sure the recovery part will be quicker than the years of demise. Put another way, if you follow the graph of demise without recovery, or without continued recovery, it isn't a pretty picture.
Give yourself a break, and let tomorrow take care if itself. Today has enough worries of its own. One day at a time, my friend. Just keep at it. (Wow...just re-read that...how many cliche's can I fit in a sentence?
)I went to a surprise 40th birthday party last night. I had a water and a bottled green tea. I had kind of dreaded this one, as it involved my closest group of friends from church, who had become among my biggest drinking buddies. I had been avoiding them since stopping drinking 82 days ago. Today is day 83. No one said a word. In fact, in the room of about 75 people, about half were not drinking, and no one got drunk, at least while we were there. That would not have been the perspective I had when drinking. I would have honed in on the biggest drinker, and probably outdone them.
It's amazing how I was fooling myself for so many years. And how much of a fool I was.
Enjoy the remaining weekend, all!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Uk
Posts: 66
Thank you both,
I was feeling very down this morning, but i did manage to shake myself into gear and i went out shopping... food and clothes
feeling better, so thanks again.
Dee, your right nobody can walk anyone else's walk (i like that)
and Lofty - its soooo true, the years i've taken (wasted) to get where i am in no way can out number the time it'll take to feel better and move forward.
Way to go on the 40th celebration amazing how things look through sober eyes and what we can convince ourselves is taking place when intoxicated!! Good for you.
Originally Posted by Dee74
noone else could undertake your journey, just as noone else could undertake mine D
D
Originally Posted by LoftyIdeals
I couldn't agree with Dee more, WTTS. Especially during the first year or so of sobriety. I know I feel different in recovery one day to the next. As time progresses, the good days are starting to give the bad ones a run for their money. But, I have faith that the trend will continue over time.
We took a lot of time to get to the point of wanting to stop; recovery will come in its own time, but if you consider your life on a continuum, I'm sure the recovery part will be quicker than the years of demise. Put another way, if you follow the graph of demise without recovery, or without continued recovery, it isn't a pretty picture.
Give yourself a break, and let tomorrow take care if itself. Today has enough worries of its own. One day at a time, my friend. Just keep at it. (Wow...just re-read that...how many cliche's can I fit in a sentence?)
I went to a surprise 40th birthday party last night. I had a water and a bottled green tea. I had kind of dreaded this one, as it involved my closest group of friends from church, who had become among my biggest drinking buddies. I had been avoiding them since stopping drinking 82 days ago. Today is day 83. No one said a word. In fact, in the room of about 75 people, about half were not drinking, and no one got drunk, at least while we were there. That would not have been the perspective I had when drinking. I would have honed in on the biggest drinker, and probably outdone them.
It's amazing how I was fooling myself for so many years. And how much of a fool I was.
Enjoy the remaining weekend, all!
We took a lot of time to get to the point of wanting to stop; recovery will come in its own time, but if you consider your life on a continuum, I'm sure the recovery part will be quicker than the years of demise. Put another way, if you follow the graph of demise without recovery, or without continued recovery, it isn't a pretty picture.
Give yourself a break, and let tomorrow take care if itself. Today has enough worries of its own. One day at a time, my friend. Just keep at it. (Wow...just re-read that...how many cliche's can I fit in a sentence?
)I went to a surprise 40th birthday party last night. I had a water and a bottled green tea. I had kind of dreaded this one, as it involved my closest group of friends from church, who had become among my biggest drinking buddies. I had been avoiding them since stopping drinking 82 days ago. Today is day 83. No one said a word. In fact, in the room of about 75 people, about half were not drinking, and no one got drunk, at least while we were there. That would not have been the perspective I had when drinking. I would have honed in on the biggest drinker, and probably outdone them.
It's amazing how I was fooling myself for so many years. And how much of a fool I was.
Enjoy the remaining weekend, all!
I was feeling very down this morning, but i did manage to shake myself into gear and i went out shopping... food and clothes
feeling better, so thanks again.Dee, your right nobody can walk anyone else's walk (i like that)
and Lofty - its soooo true, the years i've taken (wasted) to get where i am in no way can out number the time it'll take to feel better and move forward.
Way to go on the 40th celebration amazing how things look through sober eyes and what we can convince ourselves is taking place when intoxicated!! Good for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Baltic coast
Posts: 1,371
lofty - "its a journey, not a destination, so "easy does it" works for me. " - words that I have to remember. I get all too nervous and anxious many times and then looking back at the situation there was really nothing in it. Thanks.
wtts - I'm also scared about what lays ahead. I'm still having issues with accepting the fact that I can NEVER drink again and if I ever do its back to my own personal Hell. My fear is in facing all the underlying issues which led to my drinking, being sober is only a mandatory requirement to start dealing with them and get my life back together. They told me in therapy it takes about 2 years.
Month 3 of 24 for me then.
Feeling nervous and shaky all weekend long. Did not have any plans and could not find the courage to call my new sober friends to do sth together. Went to two AA meetings which helped a little, especially the one today. Made some plans for tomorrow.
Watched "Midnight in Paris" - great movie, enjoyed it a lot.
wtts - I'm also scared about what lays ahead. I'm still having issues with accepting the fact that I can NEVER drink again and if I ever do its back to my own personal Hell. My fear is in facing all the underlying issues which led to my drinking, being sober is only a mandatory requirement to start dealing with them and get my life back together. They told me in therapy it takes about 2 years.
Month 3 of 24 for me then.
Feeling nervous and shaky all weekend long. Did not have any plans and could not find the courage to call my new sober friends to do sth together. Went to two AA meetings which helped a little, especially the one today. Made some plans for tomorrow.
Watched "Midnight in Paris" - great movie, enjoyed it a lot.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
Hey Piotr, glad I could help! I have to admit, I've found the cliches helpful myself. I'm glad your therapy is giving you realistic timelines, at the rate I've been growing, I can't imagine less than a two year period to work out issues and feel a semblance of 'normal' again. I'm not sure I would recommend a countdown, though. Accept the not drinking one day at a time, and know that the promises will be realized. I just fear what would happen at the two year mark if you set that as a goal. Just MHO.
Hope all are well on this sober Sunday!
Hope all are well on this sober Sunday!
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