Class of June 2011 Part 9
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: CO.
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Here is what I found Paddy
A clinical definition of brain fog. Brain fog may be described as feelings of mental confusion or lack of mental clarity. It is called brain fog because it can feel like a cloud that reduces your ability to think clearly. It can cause a person to become forgetful, detached and often discouraged and depressed. It usually is present most of the time, meaning it does not come and go, although it may become better or worse depending on what a person eats, or one’s state of rest and hydration.
Brain fog is not recognized as a clinical diagnosis because it is not easy to test for it. It is quite subjective, in other words. The person just knows that they do not function well, and the mind often seems foggy or cloudy. This is not the same as dementia, mental retardation, anxiety, depression or other common mental symptoms. I hope that medical doctors will soon expand their diagnostic ability to assess brain fog, but for now it is a subjective condition, though it is very real.
Brain fog is quite common. It affects thousands of people, including children as well as adults. It contributes to school and work problems, low self-esteem, accidents, unhappy relationships and often is a factor in crime and delinquency because it can cause intense frustration and inability to function well in society.
The onset of brain fog. Some people have had brain fog for most of their lives, and may even think their state of mind is normal. In some other cases, it comes on slowly with age or time. In still other instances, it may develop almost overnight, perhaps after a mild flu or other illness, **or perhaps after a toxic exposure**.
I am not sure if it is the term is used in dealing with booze, but hopefully it helps give us some sort of idea. Hope you are well pal!
PN
Brain fog is not recognized as a clinical diagnosis because it is not easy to test for it. It is quite subjective, in other words. The person just knows that they do not function well, and the mind often seems foggy or cloudy. This is not the same as dementia, mental retardation, anxiety, depression or other common mental symptoms. I hope that medical doctors will soon expand their diagnostic ability to assess brain fog, but for now it is a subjective condition, though it is very real.
Brain fog is quite common. It affects thousands of people, including children as well as adults. It contributes to school and work problems, low self-esteem, accidents, unhappy relationships and often is a factor in crime and delinquency because it can cause intense frustration and inability to function well in society.
The onset of brain fog. Some people have had brain fog for most of their lives, and may even think their state of mind is normal. In some other cases, it comes on slowly with age or time. In still other instances, it may develop almost overnight, perhaps after a mild flu or other illness, **or perhaps after a toxic exposure**.
I am not sure if it is the term is used in dealing with booze, but hopefully it helps give us some sort of idea. Hope you are well pal!
PN
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the recommended way to post pics is to upload them somewhere else, then to here PN 
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...our-posts.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...our-posts.html
D
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Posts: 351
Lots of very interesting posts to read.
Day 2 sober!
But boy I have learnt from the past 65 days.
Mariano, you are right, you need to prove to yourself that you can do it.
Classical, I wholly agree that excellence has been removed from education. Last year, we had a life coach come in to work with very difficult 15/16 year olds. Over two days they followed a very traditional curriculum. As soon as they stepped over a boundary they were disciplined. By the end of the two days, they were doing everything they were asked.
Right, little man is looking over my shoulder, I am sober!
Here we go!
Chimp!
Day 2 sober!
But boy I have learnt from the past 65 days.
Mariano, you are right, you need to prove to yourself that you can do it.
Classical, I wholly agree that excellence has been removed from education. Last year, we had a life coach come in to work with very difficult 15/16 year olds. Over two days they followed a very traditional curriculum. As soon as they stepped over a boundary they were disciplined. By the end of the two days, they were doing everything they were asked.
Right, little man is looking over my shoulder, I am sober!
Here we go!
Chimp!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Morning all.
Tired again, so much needs to be done around here and im trying to summon up the energy. A bit of sunshine might help but oh well.
Seeing my sponsor later today to go through the step work ive done since we last met for this reason which was over a month ago I think. Ive found it hard to answer some of the questions because alot of what I am feeling, or not feeling more like, is to do with my depression and I cant determine if my answers are true to the purpose. However I want to get through the steps and I think I may do them more than once anyway so ive just done the best I can for now.
Anna you can call me my pumpkin as often as you like I love it too
Im getting alot of memories coming back to me at night and my sleep isnt coming as easily. Im still sleeping plenty I cant tell if im getting enough because im tired nearly all the time anyway. When I was seeing the alcohol counsellor he told me I needed to address some issues from my past but because whenever we looked into that my drinking got worse he said I should do it at a time in the future when I have some strong sobriety. Maybe it will all come out with my step work I dont intend to hold anything back but there are things ive forgotten about that are coming back to me now.
Maybe my fog is lifting.
Chimp its great you are still here as enthusiastic as ever. Please share with us how you feel now when the AV kicks in - if it is stronger etc. Ive never got more than 3 weeks sober before now so I dont know what it would be like to go back to it after a couple of months off. Id like to learn from your experience.
I forgot to say but its good to hear from you Mariano, SweetNovember and Bee. Please stay with us. Bee what happened in your neighbourhood chilled me to the core. But we do need reminders of how serious this is and although I dont think any of us have got that low we could all be headed there.
Tired again, so much needs to be done around here and im trying to summon up the energy. A bit of sunshine might help but oh well.
Seeing my sponsor later today to go through the step work ive done since we last met for this reason which was over a month ago I think. Ive found it hard to answer some of the questions because alot of what I am feeling, or not feeling more like, is to do with my depression and I cant determine if my answers are true to the purpose. However I want to get through the steps and I think I may do them more than once anyway so ive just done the best I can for now.
Anna you can call me my pumpkin as often as you like I love it too
Im getting alot of memories coming back to me at night and my sleep isnt coming as easily. Im still sleeping plenty I cant tell if im getting enough because im tired nearly all the time anyway. When I was seeing the alcohol counsellor he told me I needed to address some issues from my past but because whenever we looked into that my drinking got worse he said I should do it at a time in the future when I have some strong sobriety. Maybe it will all come out with my step work I dont intend to hold anything back but there are things ive forgotten about that are coming back to me now.
Maybe my fog is lifting.
Chimp its great you are still here as enthusiastic as ever. Please share with us how you feel now when the AV kicks in - if it is stronger etc. Ive never got more than 3 weeks sober before now so I dont know what it would be like to go back to it after a couple of months off. Id like to learn from your experience.
I forgot to say but its good to hear from you Mariano, SweetNovember and Bee. Please stay with us. Bee what happened in your neighbourhood chilled me to the core. But we do need reminders of how serious this is and although I dont think any of us have got that low we could all be headed there.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kent, UK
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What I am about to right is thanks to all of you but it was in a private message with Instant that the idea came to me.
I drank two days ago because I had been craving a release for a number of weeks. The pressure had been building and building. In the past, that release always took the form of alcohol. It did two days ago.
As a boy, I was very physical, I wanted to be a soldier and explorer that type of thing. I liked big noises, dirt, mud, rain ... loved it!
Of course, I still do!
So, right now, the key lesson I have to take form these past few weeks is to plan for that release. I need to know that in 2 months time I will get that release, let out that adrenalin. Therefore, in two months time I am going to do a parachute jump for charity.
That will be release enough!
I crave release, time to give my body a release healthily and let me be the adrenalin junkie I have always been.
Chimp!
I drank two days ago because I had been craving a release for a number of weeks. The pressure had been building and building. In the past, that release always took the form of alcohol. It did two days ago.
As a boy, I was very physical, I wanted to be a soldier and explorer that type of thing. I liked big noises, dirt, mud, rain ... loved it!
Of course, I still do!
So, right now, the key lesson I have to take form these past few weeks is to plan for that release. I need to know that in 2 months time I will get that release, let out that adrenalin. Therefore, in two months time I am going to do a parachute jump for charity.
That will be release enough!
I crave release, time to give my body a release healthily and let me be the adrenalin junkie I have always been.
Chimp!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Early bird Bratnik once again. My windchimes went banging in the middle of the night and I was convinced there was a predator outside. Can't go back to sleep.
A parachute jump? Chimp - I am seeing you are an "all-or-nothing" kind of guy! I like that. And I like how you are finding other ways to get that release. BUT...what's left after jumping out of a plane?????
A parachute jump? Chimp - I am seeing you are an "all-or-nothing" kind of guy! I like that. And I like how you are finding other ways to get that release. BUT...what's left after jumping out of a plane?????
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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My Pumpkin - how long has it been with the meds now? It can take weeks, but I'm curious as every day I wonder how you are doing. I am pulling for you, my dear, knowing you are battling two beasts of alcohol and depression. My thoughts are always with you. Everything you do right now is a huge accomplishment so give yourself tons of credit. xo
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Good Morning Every one!
A well rested sober night again. Ahhhhh....feels wonderful.
Classical - I loved your post from last night. To me it shows that no matter what point we are all in, we can always learn:
We may all view it differently, but we all have to face it and do what works for it to keep trying to maintain sobriety.
Well, fall is truly on its way. Robins are grouping up in the yard to head south for the summer. There has to be over 100 in our yard right now. On a completely off the beaten path question, what state would pick a bird for their state bird, when it flies south for the winter??? I love this time of year. Changing seasons are so awesome. Some people whine and complain and say how everything is "dying". On the contrary, it's a time for life and nature to rest. To sit back and enjoy how beautiful fall and winter truly are. People so miss out by locking themselves in during the winter. All they need are warm boots, warm coats, thermal underwear, and not a care in the world about "how you look". I still make snow angels every single year. Usually, a dog joins in on it. Funniest darn thing you've ever seen. Stars are beautiful in the summer, but sit out at night in a lawn chair during the winter, and you'll see stars that will blow you away. Okay...so what the heck brought me to this point. Can you say A.D.D.?
Well, sorry...the robins did it.
Have a great day every one. Leaving in a couple hours to pick up Mom and take her to get groceries.
Oh winter - did I mention hockey???
A well rested sober night again. Ahhhhh....feels wonderful.
Classical - I loved your post from last night. To me it shows that no matter what point we are all in, we can always learn:
I realize I need more help from all of you in the way I view alcohol.
Well, fall is truly on its way. Robins are grouping up in the yard to head south for the summer. There has to be over 100 in our yard right now. On a completely off the beaten path question, what state would pick a bird for their state bird, when it flies south for the winter??? I love this time of year. Changing seasons are so awesome. Some people whine and complain and say how everything is "dying". On the contrary, it's a time for life and nature to rest. To sit back and enjoy how beautiful fall and winter truly are. People so miss out by locking themselves in during the winter. All they need are warm boots, warm coats, thermal underwear, and not a care in the world about "how you look". I still make snow angels every single year. Usually, a dog joins in on it. Funniest darn thing you've ever seen. Stars are beautiful in the summer, but sit out at night in a lawn chair during the winter, and you'll see stars that will blow you away. Okay...so what the heck brought me to this point. Can you say A.D.D.?
Well, sorry...the robins did it.
Have a great day every one. Leaving in a couple hours to pick up Mom and take her to get groceries.
Oh winter - did I mention hockey???
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I think Bee's news about the drunk driver and the events of the week shook me up. I am sure I have driven to work in the morning over the limit. It would been so easy to accidentally hit a cyclist. My sobriety has been hard come by. The fact that we can be 'blindsided' by alcohol is very disconcerting. In contrast to the buzz of alcohol and the promise of release, the pleasures of sobriety can easily be taken for granted. We all have the capacity to forget the difficult times we have been through or at the time we pick up not concern ourselves with the risks of drinking again. I think these vulnerabilities seem inherent in us.
I am now in a comfortable place within myself. I want to stay on track. The possibility that I might lose my way and wander off in the direction I was going in before I came here is a terrifying reality I have to face.
I am now in a comfortable place within myself. I want to stay on track. The possibility that I might lose my way and wander off in the direction I was going in before I came here is a terrifying reality I have to face.
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Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Chimp thats a great plan - very brave. Perhaps you should plan something else to do after the jump that will ensure you have to stay sober as all that excitement and adrenalin could also lead to a major craving afterwards. That AV will be on your back when you jump. Sorry I dont want to put a downer on your enthusiasm just be wary that excitement/over elation can be as much of a trigger as misery. I feel awful saying this but its what I would say to me if you see what I mean.
Anna I started back on the Prozac on Friday, took one in the evening then one in the morning and one in the evening since then. I am getting glimmers of enthusiasm coming back now and then so am hopeful it wont be too long till Im back to normal - whatever that is - im probably about to find out who I really am or was meant to be now alcohol is no longer in the driving seat. I'll be on day 90 on Friday and if I make my usual meeting will get my 3 month chip - I ought to be excited about that - maybe it will lift me when I get there.
Anna I started back on the Prozac on Friday, took one in the evening then one in the morning and one in the evening since then. I am getting glimmers of enthusiasm coming back now and then so am hopeful it wont be too long till Im back to normal - whatever that is - im probably about to find out who I really am or was meant to be now alcohol is no longer in the driving seat. I'll be on day 90 on Friday and if I make my usual meeting will get my 3 month chip - I ought to be excited about that - maybe it will lift me when I get there.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Pumpkin Min - (that's Icelandic for "my pumpkin" - Min is "my" - pronounced "meen". I'll bet nobody here knows Icelandic! it's my mom's homeland)
I'm glad to hear you may see some light. 90 days, holy smokes, just think, I could have been there right with you. I'm still here, just not with 90 days, but pulling for you tooth and nail. It's so awesome and amazing. Take some time today and really congratulate yourself. That is the most amazing accomplishment!!! And your advice is great. You know best, from most of us!!
There is no way in heck someone could get me to jump out of a plane. I think I would poop my pants. Literally.
I'm glad to hear you may see some light. 90 days, holy smokes, just think, I could have been there right with you. I'm still here, just not with 90 days, but pulling for you tooth and nail. It's so awesome and amazing. Take some time today and really congratulate yourself. That is the most amazing accomplishment!!! And your advice is great. You know best, from most of us!!
There is no way in heck someone could get me to jump out of a plane. I think I would poop my pants. Literally.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Pumpkin, no, you are spot on. I thought that earlier to. I will want to celebrate immediately afterwards. So, I will have to think carefully about what to do in the evening and allow me to come (calm) down.
Bratnik, is also spot on, I am an all or nothing kind of guy but though writing that makes sense, I am not sure exactly what it means. I need to be at something every day. I have learnt to relax through music and other activities during my 20s but I need to think carfully about my daily and yearly routines. So yes, Pumpkin, you are so right to say what will come next, I think someone else said it too (sorry and I only read it a few minutes back), what next after the jump.
But, for the first time, I now realise this:
I have to plan for my sobriety. It won't just happen each and every day. I have to look at myself, how my body works, how my mind works and put in place actions that will aim to keep me sober. I have to take that AV on. This really is a fight to the death for me because I know what I am potentially capable of. I know I could very easily run someone down on a road under the influence of drink.
So, I have to think and plan.
I know in a couple of months I will be craving excitement and adventure (how daft thinking, for the past ten years, that alcohol would get me that) so I will do a parachute jump.
I know that immediately after I will be on a high, thinking I am brilliant and my AV will be there attempting to persuade me that I am awesome and deserve a drink, a real man! So, I will have to plan to combat that. One idea is, I will be straight on here via my i-phone and hopefully some of you will be ready to talk. But then I will need a plan for the evening.
Knowledge, it really is time for me to look hard at myself and explore who I really am. Can anyone help me with this? or point me in the right direction. I am not sure how to start. And I am not keen on going back into AA and finding a sponsor. But I need to explore who I am and begin to live, truly live, in sobriety and plan and enact a sober life.
Beulah, your mention of seasons is key. I need to look at how my body works throughout the year. What my triggers are? What keeps me sober. I need to understand who Steve is and how he works.
Many thanks to you all,
Chimp!
Also, apologies for my spelling of write as right in my previous post. Terrible!
Bratnik, is also spot on, I am an all or nothing kind of guy but though writing that makes sense, I am not sure exactly what it means. I need to be at something every day. I have learnt to relax through music and other activities during my 20s but I need to think carfully about my daily and yearly routines. So yes, Pumpkin, you are so right to say what will come next, I think someone else said it too (sorry and I only read it a few minutes back), what next after the jump.
But, for the first time, I now realise this:
I have to plan for my sobriety. It won't just happen each and every day. I have to look at myself, how my body works, how my mind works and put in place actions that will aim to keep me sober. I have to take that AV on. This really is a fight to the death for me because I know what I am potentially capable of. I know I could very easily run someone down on a road under the influence of drink.
So, I have to think and plan.
I know in a couple of months I will be craving excitement and adventure (how daft thinking, for the past ten years, that alcohol would get me that) so I will do a parachute jump.
I know that immediately after I will be on a high, thinking I am brilliant and my AV will be there attempting to persuade me that I am awesome and deserve a drink, a real man! So, I will have to plan to combat that. One idea is, I will be straight on here via my i-phone and hopefully some of you will be ready to talk. But then I will need a plan for the evening.
Knowledge, it really is time for me to look hard at myself and explore who I really am. Can anyone help me with this? or point me in the right direction. I am not sure how to start. And I am not keen on going back into AA and finding a sponsor. But I need to explore who I am and begin to live, truly live, in sobriety and plan and enact a sober life.
Beulah, your mention of seasons is key. I need to look at how my body works throughout the year. What my triggers are? What keeps me sober. I need to understand who Steve is and how he works.
Many thanks to you all,
Chimp!
Also, apologies for my spelling of write as right in my previous post. Terrible!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Posts: 351
And there is another timely post.
Bratnik, I went to Iceland as a kid (well, 15). I mentioned earlier I wanted to be an explorer.
When drinking I dreamt of the man I wanted to be, now I need to live the man I want to be.
Because I know who that man is. I have known for years and I have started to be him. It is a wonderful journey to be on with all of you.
Chimp!
Bratnik, I went to Iceland as a kid (well, 15). I mentioned earlier I wanted to be an explorer.
When drinking I dreamt of the man I wanted to be, now I need to live the man I want to be.
Because I know who that man is. I have known for years and I have started to be him. It is a wonderful journey to be on with all of you.
Chimp!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
OHHH Iceland is so beautiful. Did you like it, Chimp? I've been there so very many times - my husband and I got married there. A wonderful, pristine country. Maybe I'll start teaching everyone Icelandic. It's not a useful language, but hey, you'll impress anyone knowing it.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Chimp - glad to see that you've returned to your previous form! Now stay there, thank you very much!
As for the skydiving. I agree with the others that have posted worried thoughts about the anti climax that may provide. I have the same concerns with myself and this marathon that I am training for. Where is my head going to be at on Octover 17th, having just completed this enormous 4 month task that was also a great excuse for not drinking?
I had just the best sleep last night. Reminds me of the sleeps I had when I was a much younger person. I had forgotten what it is like to have a proper dream. I had a great one last night!
Heading in to a busy and stressful couple of days at work. Just got home from a light 5 mile run. I'm going to have a quick swim and hot tub and then get going to work.
Have a great day everyone!
As for the skydiving. I agree with the others that have posted worried thoughts about the anti climax that may provide. I have the same concerns with myself and this marathon that I am training for. Where is my head going to be at on Octover 17th, having just completed this enormous 4 month task that was also a great excuse for not drinking?
I had just the best sleep last night. Reminds me of the sleeps I had when I was a much younger person. I had forgotten what it is like to have a proper dream. I had a great one last night!
Heading in to a busy and stressful couple of days at work. Just got home from a light 5 mile run. I'm going to have a quick swim and hot tub and then get going to work.
Have a great day everyone!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 426
Hi TP - you are a wise man for managing your expectations.
I ran the NYC marathon in 2001. It was the most amazing experience of my life, I think my best day ever. All of the training, the work, and then the experience, the cheering, the "wall", it all happens. And it will be amazing.
I haven't been a runner since. I was soooo sick of running after that 26.2 miles. (I finished in 4:50 - no great feat, but I finished feeling strong. I also stopped to buy batteries for my radio on my arm and chat and have a beer and smoke with my friends. Yep, that's me - lollygagger)
Keep it in check that after this, you may not want to run for awhile. Maybe yoga (Pumpkin, you are into yoga, no?) or something, an immediate switch from the running buzz. But I think it would be great if you have some sort of replacement from the running and training. Just my 2 cents.
I ran the NYC marathon in 2001. It was the most amazing experience of my life, I think my best day ever. All of the training, the work, and then the experience, the cheering, the "wall", it all happens. And it will be amazing.
I haven't been a runner since.
I was soooo sick of running after that 26.2 miles. (I finished in 4:50 - no great feat, but I finished feeling strong. I also stopped to buy batteries for my radio on my arm and chat and have a beer and smoke with my friends. Yep, that's me - lollygagger) Keep it in check that after this, you may not want to run for awhile. Maybe yoga (Pumpkin, you are into yoga, no?) or something, an immediate switch from the running buzz. But I think it would be great if you have some sort of replacement from the running and training. Just my 2 cents.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 513
I'm here I'm here - I have been super sick with the fabulous flu. Started on Saturday and I was down for the count by Sunday night. I'm back to work at 50% today, still don't feel good at all. I have a lot of posts to catch up on.
Classical I skimmed the posts and read something about a pic! I need to see that please! :-)
I'm still sober - no way I would drink feeling like this! So hopefully this is bringing into the next stage of sobriety to keep things on a roll.
I'll get caught up hopefully over the next few days. I have two final papers due by Sunday and I haven't started yet! ugh
Classical I skimmed the posts and read something about a pic! I need to see that please! :-)
I'm still sober - no way I would drink feeling like this! So hopefully this is bringing into the next stage of sobriety to keep things on a roll.
I'll get caught up hopefully over the next few days. I have two final papers due by Sunday and I haven't started yet! ugh
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