Dee74

I've learned from everyone on SR

I think this place works so well precisely because everyone can have a say - the forum is actually built on that concept.

It's up to us then to work out what is valuable and useful to us, and what's not

I hope R4R, Hils, and all the other guys not here right now are doing ok

D

SwanSong

I post tonight with some mixed emotions. I too hope that Really, Moo Moos, Akasha, Carribean, Grateful, and anyone I'm forgetting are either doing well or on the verge of a come back to sobriety. I think I eluded to the same thing you said Tom when I mentioned that, if Really is like me, this would err could be a very precarious time for her. I've always had problems after long periods of abstinence and a relapse. I'm hoping for the best.

However, TDC we have to keep this thread going and stay positive so I want to share something with you that happened to me tonight that made me think of you Tom. I'm the secretary for my home group for this 6 month rotation, afterward we go out to eat and now that I don't drive I'm fortunate that one of the guys (he's one of my 'sobriety heros') lives in my same apartment complex, so I get a ride to the restaurant by somebody and then he always is kind enough to drive me home. He's elderly (in his 80's I think) and has been living sober a long time (24+ years, I don't know exactly but I think it's 24 years and counting) and so has both a lot of wisdom about life in general because of his age and has a lot of wisdom about living a sober life because he has roughly a 1/4 century sober.

Well tonight he asked how things were going with me, I explained to him that this last week or so I have been finding myself much more easily accepting the fact that my DUI appeal is a losing prospect and that my case will end up back in the trial court and I will end up with a 2nd offense on my record but that I've regained my clarity - partly due to my in-person friends, partly from internal contemplation, and partly from what I've read on SR lately about the consequences others have suffered from their DUIs and I am really back to a place of gratitude that I didn't hurt myself or anyone else and I just have to accept whatever the consequences end up being for exactly what they are. And remember that really, they are inconsequential in the grande scheme of things provided I continue to live a sober life.

So he asked, well when it does get back to court won't your participation in AA matter at the sentencing? I said, well yes, the attorney I'm thinking of hiring to handle the appeal and the dui when it comes back said "if you're still sober at that time, we can certainly bring that the courts attention and how active you are in your recovery", to which he replied "you mean, because you'll still be sober at that time. You've already moved beyond how many days sober you have and are actually choosing to live a sober lifestyle now".

Naturally he doesn't mean I should stop acknowledging how long I've been sober, rather it was his certitude that I would be sober when that day comes and that I'm no longer struggling to make it from day to day but have just accepted that this is the life I want to live - a sober life. He said it so gently but yet with so much affirmation that it made me think of you because you're often commenting on how strongly you feel about your sobriety now.

I believe I often tend to take a more modest outward approach but every day I try to consider what my life is like now and what my life used to be because I'm very aware of the insanity of returning to drinking, but I do feel as though my foundation is very solid and that the 'energy' (I hate to say work, sounds to cliche) I've put into my recovery, here on SR and in AA is largely what I have to attribute that to.

I'm glad you're still here TDC & Dee and I hope we see Really and Moos return.....and I hope those that are still here that haven't posted in a while come back and give this thread some cyber-romance!

Happy sober Friday everyone! It's puppy & tv time...

Really4Real

Hey guys... I'm here. Had a little scare with the hubby's heart. He had a physical. The doc heard his heart skipping and put him in the hospital. Had a lot of people praying and it seems that everything checked out ok. He's home now and is on a blood thinner - low dose and aspirin regimen. More of a precaution against blood clots since they think it's skipping sporadically.
Anyway, I haven't gone anywhere. Still here and trying figure things out....

tomdecel

Your chair is always waiting R4R. Same with Akasha, Moo Moos, Grateful and Caribbean when they do poke in.

I always think about Mik (in Baltimore) and Isa. Isa was all over the place in SR day in and day out, and not a peep in months.

Swan, I'm off to a meeting but I want to come back later when I have more time. But even when I don't post everyday I check in here several times a day to make sure I have not missed any of your posts.

Not to repeat myself from the "other" thread R4R, but I'm sending you and your husband all the best vibes I can. Please take care, you have your plate full right now. We are here for you.

tomdecel

And you too Dee74..... your chair is always ready in our group.

Thanks.

SwanSong

Same with me R4R, I've got you in your hubby in my thoughts and prayers.

TDC, thanks for checking in.

Dee74

best wishes to you and your husband R4R

and thanks TDC

D

SwanSong

I was thinking earlier tonight...about 'things'.

And in the final analysis, R4R, it's all about love. Love for yourself, your family & friends, your higher power/God.

When it comes to drinking and drugs, I've never truly been able to figure out much of anything per se. It's been about accepting, forgiving, changing and loving - to me at least.

Once I understand what I believe addiction to be, it's still just knowledge. I can learn more about alcoholism than anybody else around but won't be of much use if I'm not sober and acting from a place of love.

Hope you decide to come back Really and, as TDC said, your seat hasn't gone anywhere. It's here waiting for you should decide to come back.

Wishing everyone is sober and in a good, loving place this early Sunday morning. -SS

Dee74

I couldn't have said it better Swan - thanks

D

tomdecel

Swan...... I've been self self employed for over 25 years. I only have had two jobs in my life, both for six years, after college and my two bosses, which I am still in contact with and highly admire, and as a coincidence, both are in their 80s and both were recovering alcoholics .

I always knew in the back of my mind that living a successful and productive "after drinking" life was possible because of these two gentlemen. They both have stories that make my issues insignificant, and both would laugh at their drinking days. Hang on to that old guy that drives you around. I go back to: it is not what you say, it is what you do.

R4R.... hope you and your husband are doing better.

Akasha.... it is Sunday. You always check in on Sunday. Looking forward to your post soon.

Dee..... Thanks for tiding up the place around here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had a little "incident" on my fitness bike ride Friday morning. It was raining a bit, not enough to stop me but enough to make everything sleek. No need to get into details here but the bike slipped from underneath me rounding a left turn on a recreational use road around a Lake near my house and I landed hard on my left side.

I'm basically OK. I was able to ride home afterwards. Just a lot of scrapes on both knees and elbows, but really made my stop and evaluate how dangerous this sport can be. I'm a bit sore today but getting better.

Went downtown for a little walk with the wife today to get some fresh air and grab a small lunch by the water but basically I've been a bum all day. Just a lazy day. Don't feel like doing much of anything on a Sunday afternoon. Got nothing else to report , but just wanted to check in and wish everyone well.

Later..... TdC.

SwanSong

Sorry to hear about the wipe TDC, that sucks man. I can empathize on the lazy day, same here - had some plans to get cleaning done today and a bike ride or whatnot but ended up on the phone with family for several hours, got a little caught up thinking about some things and decided to just make it a lazy day too.

That's pretty cool that you've got those two gentlemen in their 80's and recovered alckies in your life....yeah, I've been sticking close to this guy since I first came back, he's got a lot of good stuff to say.

I need to get more focused on my eating and exercise, it's like a see-saw, up one week and doing great then as with this last week mostly down and my energy levels are clearly being affected. Just more to work on.

I spent the day contemplating going back to school (with the possibility of losing my job hanging out there) and the sad part is if I wasn't caught up in my drinking I would have had plenty, plenty, plenty of cash to do it without worrying about work, instead, however, I'm just about on the verge of being fully out of debt. The irony of the situation to me is that all I'm trying to do is map out possibilites that are either viable or not viable if that situation should happen, if I was still drinking I wouldn't have so much of my debt cleared up and probably would have already lost my job.

So I'm just taking it slow today, if I don't lose my job as I clear up the last of my debt and finish throwing money into lawyers to get this dui behind me at least I may be debt free by the end of the year and have a goal to save towards. I'd really love to break away for 3 years and vigorously pursue my bachelors degree, return to the corporate world and pursue my masters in the evenings. Well, at least I now have a new life goal. I'll be starting a summer class next week, it's 2 nights a week & the last time I took a class that was once a week (4 hours a night) I was feeling pretty slammed with work and school so next week should be interesting. No idea how adults go back to school unless they take 15 years to acquire a bachelors...I'm not really sure what my end game is, but I dropped out of high school beginning of the 10th grade so it's definitely to acquire an education but also I'd like to open doors for the rest of my life/career before I get too much older.

Hope everyone is doing well out there....-Swan

tomdecel

I think it is great that you are thinking of going back to school. Have you thought of on-line education? When I was visiting Arizona State with my son they said in the information meeting that there are some courses where students meet with the instructors only two or three times face to face, and the rest of the course is presented on-line so that you can do the work at your own pace.

My job (livelihood) is not necessarily in jeopardy, but has been adversely affected by this economy the past three years. I know exactly how you are feeling about finances. There is nothing worst than uncertainty.

SwanSong

Hey Tom, yeah I was looking into some online colleges too for a bit a while ago. I sometimes wonder though at a) the level of education you truly walk away with and b) how an online degree is viewed compared to a brick and mortar school. Also, they tend to be more costly but I suppose you have a point, online is doable while working.....

I hear you about this economy, and sorry to hear that your business has suffered over the last few years. I was looking early for jobs in my area, I'm glad I don't have to actually find one today.

Well, wrapping up the weekend with more television. Actually netflix, I'm thinking of dropping cable and just keeping netflix

Dee74

I went back to school in my 30s - full time - I was poor LOL but I found it a great experience

D

Really4Real

Good Morning All.... hubby is fine - adjusted well to his meds.
I think it's cool that you are pursuing some additional education, Swan. I've tried it off and on - mostly work-related classes. Thought about going for a degree, but I don't really want to spend a whole lot of money at this stage in life. I did go for EMT training some time ago. Then made it halfway through Paramedic when I couldn't juggle school, working, and clinicals at the same time. Then they wanted me to volunteer at the fire department... in my 'spare' time.
So far - today is day 1.... again. Not trying to put much thought into it... taking one moment at a time. At least I'm at work and plan to be all day - that will keep me out of trouble most of the day anyway.
Sorry to hear about your 'spill' TdC. Hope you heal fast!

Catch you all later.

SwanSong

So Dee, were you living on your own in your 30's when you embarked on this quest to go get your college education? If so, did you end up moving in with roommates or were you able to swing living alone and going back to school?

Really, happy to see you're giving sobriety another attempt. Yeah I've been mostly like you, taking classes or 'training' as it relates to my field over the last 15 years but I dropped out so early I kinda would like a real education

Happy Monday everyone. Careful with the biking TDC

tomdecel

Glad to hear your H is fine, R4R. Scary, ha? Just ask my wife.

Hey Swan, I don't know what field you are in, and I appreciate your desire for a formal education, but what I am finding out now is that the days of going to school, getting a degree and walking into a job are pretty much over.

These days, I think employers are looking for people with skills along with the education. I'm constantly reminding my kids to spend some time along their way to pick up a few "employable" skills here and there, but they are not listening too well.

Great day guys.

Dee74

I lived on my own yeah - I was a pretty hefty drinker even then but more a stoner....but I never really got into the Animal House scene...I already had my private party network set up off campus

When I started it was still the case here that graduates could walk into jobs...by the time I was done, that was no longer the case...but I treasure the experience still...

I had my eye on more than just a job at the end...I loved learning and exercising my mind, and I made a lot of good friends there.

D

tomdecel

DEE74 IN SCHOOL IN HIS 30'S

Dee74

that is pretty accurate T- I was Elmo on campus and Animal off....

D