Class of October 2010 Sobriety Group Part 4
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Originally Posted by Really4Real 
I'm going to a huge flea market (wonder why they call it a 'flea' market???).
Good to keep busy R4R. My son just had the sleeves in his tux (4 years of symphonic band) lengthened to use at his prom. When I graduated from HS (1971), it as not cool to go to the prom.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Wash DC
Posts: 308
I got a 12 hr pass and now have 2.5 hrs left on it. I spent it with family and did some shopping. I hope you all have a great weekend.
Swan, Congrats on 7 months!!! I have a long way to go before I reach 7 months. I'm now at 42 days and doing well.
Swan, Congrats on 7 months!!! I have a long way to go before I reach 7 months. I'm now at 42 days and doing well.
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Nice Akasha. Thanks for checking in.
I pay off my credit cards on the 30th. My last drunk was September 30th. That's just a small reminder to myself that its been.....8 months.
Just doing what I always knew I had to do.
Thanks guys. Take care.
I pay off my credit cards on the 30th. My last drunk was September 30th. That's just a small reminder to myself that its been.....8 months.
Just doing what I always knew I had to do.
Thanks guys. Take care.
Drunk in Recovery
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 143
Hi everyone!
Good to see so many familiar names still on this thread. The "third trimester" (between six and nine months) has been a bit tricky for me at times. Like, ok, I've got this sobriety thing now. So why is it again I can't just have a glass of wine with dinner like everyone else? I know it intellectually but can't feel it anymore. For me this is one of the things that AA has been good for, between meetings and 12th step calls -- exposing me to newcomers and reminding me physically of what I do not want to go back to. Reading the newcomer threads on this forum is useful, too.
Thanks to all the support I have, from you all and others, I am a few days over 8 months sober today. Wouldn't it be something if we're all still checking in on this group's thread years down the line?
Hugs,
Caribbean
Good to see so many familiar names still on this thread. The "third trimester" (between six and nine months) has been a bit tricky for me at times. Like, ok, I've got this sobriety thing now. So why is it again I can't just have a glass of wine with dinner like everyone else? I know it intellectually but can't feel it anymore. For me this is one of the things that AA has been good for, between meetings and 12th step calls -- exposing me to newcomers and reminding me physically of what I do not want to go back to. Reading the newcomer threads on this forum is useful, too.
Thanks to all the support I have, from you all and others, I am a few days over 8 months sober today. Wouldn't it be something if we're all still checking in on this group's thread years down the line?
Hugs,
Caribbean
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Originally Posted by caribbean
Wouldn't it be something if we're all still checking in on this group's thread years down the line?
I am planing on sticking around for a while. I don't get craving per se, but the stigma of why does everyone else and not me comes every once in a while.
I don't give myself the option anymore. There is no more "let me think about it" to see how I feel. I just plain don't drink. The door is closed. End of (my) discussion.
Check in here more often. 8 months behind, the rest of my life ahead. Regards.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
good to see you again Caribbean 
for me 'why me' was one of the hardest things to die in me too - the desire to prove I was in fact a normal drinker kept me drinking for many years than I should have.
But my life in the last four years has been about acceptance - about a lot of things.
This is my lot.
and...the more I've stayed sober, the more I've discovered the very real gifts of not drinking and living a life in recovery.
Why me isn't a curse to me anymore, it's a blessing
D
for me 'why me' was one of the hardest things to die in me too - the desire to prove I was in fact a normal drinker kept me drinking for many years than I should have.
But my life in the last four years has been about acceptance - about a lot of things.
This is my lot.
and...the more I've stayed sober, the more I've discovered the very real gifts of not drinking and living a life in recovery.
Why me isn't a curse to me anymore, it's a blessing
D
ANewBeginning
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,822
Hey Caribbean! Thanks for posting that. I TOTALLY needed to hear that right now. I don't know why, but the alcohol thing still bugs me. It didn't for a while, but lately it's been bad.
The really terrible thing is that I don't want to let everyone down. That's not a good reason... I have to do this for me and somehow there's some kind of disconnect there. Like I'm trying to measure up to something.
Maybe it's being injured and can't run at the moment that's got me down... but I'm down. Sorry, guys.
The really terrible thing is that I don't want to let everyone down. That's not a good reason... I have to do this for me and somehow there's some kind of disconnect there. Like I'm trying to measure up to something.
Maybe it's being injured and can't run at the moment that's got me down... but I'm down. Sorry, guys.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
The thing is tho - alcohol won;t really alleviate any of that - but we're damn good at persuading ourselves it will.
Hang in there Really - hope you're on the upswing soon
D
Hang in there Really - hope you're on the upswing soon
D
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Very nasty accident all over the news locally here a few days ago where a drunk driver killed 4 teenagers.
Monday I was driving to a meeting (yeah on Memorial Day) on a brand new freeway and I was skirting a segregated bicycle path along the freeway that looked pretty safe and there must have been a hundred bicyclist, skateboarders walkers with dogs and a few people pushing strollers. I was thinking to myself I should make it a point to do a ride out there someday.
The next day on the evening commute, a lady lost control of her car, went up the embankment, overturned several times and landed on the fenced off bike path crushing two middle aged recreational riders. Just a freak accident but two lives gone.
It seems like every other week there is another case of someone under the influence of something is either killing themselves or someone in their way.
R4R, I know it is impossible to walk on someone else shoes, but every time I hear about any of these accidents I am really just so thankful that I am no longer drinking and that I closed that chapter of my life.
I'm sure Swan can follow up with the changes he has to endure because of actions.
I make it a point now to read and follow up on all these stories as a deterrent and a reminder of how many times I drove after having a few and how one small lapse of judgement could be so catastrophic. Hang in there.
Monday I was driving to a meeting (yeah on Memorial Day) on a brand new freeway and I was skirting a segregated bicycle path along the freeway that looked pretty safe and there must have been a hundred bicyclist, skateboarders walkers with dogs and a few people pushing strollers. I was thinking to myself I should make it a point to do a ride out there someday.
The next day on the evening commute, a lady lost control of her car, went up the embankment, overturned several times and landed on the fenced off bike path crushing two middle aged recreational riders. Just a freak accident but two lives gone.
It seems like every other week there is another case of someone under the influence of something is either killing themselves or someone in their way.
R4R, I know it is impossible to walk on someone else shoes, but every time I hear about any of these accidents I am really just so thankful that I am no longer drinking and that I closed that chapter of my life.
I'm sure Swan can follow up with the changes he has to endure because of actions.
I make it a point now to read and follow up on all these stories as a deterrent and a reminder of how many times I drove after having a few and how one small lapse of judgement could be so catastrophic. Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Hi Carribean, thanks for checking in. I'm in AA and you just made me think I should sign up for the telecenter service to handle some calls - talk to people still in the quagmire trying to get out.
R4R- I can understand when you write that you just don't want to let anyone down. I know that feeling from before. I swear to you, even now with the obsession gone there are moments when I have to consider what kind of a life do I want. And when I finally get to the bottom of all the cluttered layers that are blocking me from the truth I can invariably see that while drinking I am a mess and I wreak havoc and I was _not_ happy. My mind will try to persuade me to believe otherwise, as Dee noted.
And so while I agree with you that yes, you need to do this for yourself - if what it's coming down to today or tomorrow is either you go out and drink or you stay sober so you don't let us down- then I say don't let us down. Because I think the longer we stay sober the more likely it is to become a desired state of being. You may also just be in a 'down swing' and that could just be how you're feeling for now, better to give it some time and make sure you, Really, want to go back to drinking. I think if you've been with us this long, then you're likely the same as me and all that is waiting for you is a bottle of your favorite poison and a 100% refund of the misery you've since left behind. That refund will always be there, no need to rush and go get it.
TDC- funny that you should mention the driving under the influence. Yep, I have to keep everything you wrote in perspective. I'm coming up on 4 months of my 1 year hard suspension but the DA just filed her opening brief for the appeal and my chances are...well let's just say I'm probably screwed. And by the time the 'appeal' process works itself out, not only will I have spent thousands and thousands more $$ on this matter, but it'll probably be close to the end of the one year hard suspension before it's back in the trial courts & then once convicted I'll finally get to lose my license for the mandatory 2 years. What a joy. So yes, thinking about what *could* have happened, i.e. me having hurt myself or someone else that night is really important for me - otherwise I'll just end up letting this appeal thing burn me up, get me bitter and take me back to the bottle. Thanks for posting that stuff Tom, seriously, I just paid an appellate attorney $1,000 today just for their 'opinion' on how screwed I am and between my meeting tonight and reading what you wrote - both are helpful in keeping me grounded. I've gotta make sure my happiness and sobriety remain detached from this situation as much as possible - although my mind would love to tie it all together in a big pretty ribbon and say 'come on, just tug one end of it and see what happens'...
Glad to see your resolution is so strong TDC. I made plans to go on a date this Saturday night and broke them yesterday morning - the woman is a drinker - she likes to drink. Not only did I have to seriously consider the likely hood of being in a romantic one on one situation with booze and pot around and trying to avoid using but I also finally was able to admit that as much as I used to (and maybe still do) have a thing for this girl- I can honestly say that drinking (at least in terms of heavy or problematic drinking) is NOT a trait I am looking for in another person and more so it is exactly what I am not looking for. So R4R - if that say's anything to you- maybe it's that this isn't the easiest thing in the world for me either because part of me would really like to have gone on that date, not drank or smoked weed, and tested the 'can we date while I'm sober' waters. But to be honest, I basically got really frightened by the thought of what would happen......as I pretty much could foresee me giving in and drinking that night and not being able to get back to sobriety if I did. So I'm not super secure either, for what it's worth. Some days I feel solidly comfortable I won't take a drink- not a chance, others though I'm just a regular fallible person trying my best to stay the course. Hang in there, we need you here!
R4R- I can understand when you write that you just don't want to let anyone down. I know that feeling from before. I swear to you, even now with the obsession gone there are moments when I have to consider what kind of a life do I want. And when I finally get to the bottom of all the cluttered layers that are blocking me from the truth I can invariably see that while drinking I am a mess and I wreak havoc and I was _not_ happy. My mind will try to persuade me to believe otherwise, as Dee noted.
And so while I agree with you that yes, you need to do this for yourself - if what it's coming down to today or tomorrow is either you go out and drink or you stay sober so you don't let us down- then I say don't let us down. Because I think the longer we stay sober the more likely it is to become a desired state of being. You may also just be in a 'down swing' and that could just be how you're feeling for now, better to give it some time and make sure you, Really, want to go back to drinking. I think if you've been with us this long, then you're likely the same as me and all that is waiting for you is a bottle of your favorite poison and a 100% refund of the misery you've since left behind. That refund will always be there, no need to rush and go get it.
TDC- funny that you should mention the driving under the influence. Yep, I have to keep everything you wrote in perspective. I'm coming up on 4 months of my 1 year hard suspension but the DA just filed her opening brief for the appeal and my chances are...well let's just say I'm probably screwed. And by the time the 'appeal' process works itself out, not only will I have spent thousands and thousands more $$ on this matter, but it'll probably be close to the end of the one year hard suspension before it's back in the trial courts & then once convicted I'll finally get to lose my license for the mandatory 2 years. What a joy. So yes, thinking about what *could* have happened, i.e. me having hurt myself or someone else that night is really important for me - otherwise I'll just end up letting this appeal thing burn me up, get me bitter and take me back to the bottle. Thanks for posting that stuff Tom, seriously, I just paid an appellate attorney $1,000 today just for their 'opinion' on how screwed I am and between my meeting tonight and reading what you wrote - both are helpful in keeping me grounded. I've gotta make sure my happiness and sobriety remain detached from this situation as much as possible - although my mind would love to tie it all together in a big pretty ribbon and say 'come on, just tug one end of it and see what happens'...
Glad to see your resolution is so strong TDC. I made plans to go on a date this Saturday night and broke them yesterday morning - the woman is a drinker - she likes to drink. Not only did I have to seriously consider the likely hood of being in a romantic one on one situation with booze and pot around and trying to avoid using but I also finally was able to admit that as much as I used to (and maybe still do) have a thing for this girl- I can honestly say that drinking (at least in terms of heavy or problematic drinking) is NOT a trait I am looking for in another person and more so it is exactly what I am not looking for. So R4R - if that say's anything to you- maybe it's that this isn't the easiest thing in the world for me either because part of me would really like to have gone on that date, not drank or smoked weed, and tested the 'can we date while I'm sober' waters. But to be honest, I basically got really frightened by the thought of what would happen......as I pretty much could foresee me giving in and drinking that night and not being able to get back to sobriety if I did. So I'm not super secure either, for what it's worth. Some days I feel solidly comfortable I won't take a drink- not a chance, others though I'm just a regular fallible person trying my best to stay the course. Hang in there, we need you here!
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
Originally Posted by SwanSong
I made plans to go on a date this Saturday night and broke them yesterday morning - the woman is a drinker - she likes to drink. Not only did I have to seriously consider the likely hood of being in a romantic one on one situation with booze and pot
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
there you go:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...k-driving.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now of course I am not saying that having an urge to have a drink is going to lead to drunk driving accident, but hearing about incidents like this makes me appreciate MY sobriety and reinforces my resolve. Sometimes I have to do this every single day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Edit: Come to think of it, Grateful is part of our original October class.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...k-driving.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now of course I am not saying that having an urge to have a drink is going to lead to drunk driving accident, but hearing about incidents like this makes me appreciate MY sobriety and reinforces my resolve. Sometimes I have to do this every single day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Edit: Come to think of it, Grateful is part of our original October class.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
TDC- mostly just AA related events and rock climbing. It's all good, it was just a matter of I think finally moving this little charade of 'can I date a problem drinker' to the real question - 'do I even want to consider dating a problem drinker' - and I believe that really needed to happen.
As to the link you posted, all I can say is first that all those involved are in my thoughts, and that second I raised a general topic at my meeting tonight but in some ways it dealt with my issue on hand and the post you linked to is also relevant. Basically I need to get rooted and put my life into perspective. I was very fortunate not have hurt anybody (myself included) and I'll make a decision by Monday/Tuesday as to whether I will hire another attorney to handle the appeal (likely my choice to at least try and have the dismissal affirmed) and then let it go so I can focus on things I can change - which the outcome of what happens next in my issue I cannot change (e.g. - my job, I can focus my energy there and hopefully create change. My daily life- health, I can focus and make change there. My program of recovery. etc. my mess with the courts I can only do one of two things at this juncture, hire an attorney or not. Any more energy put into the event after that is wasted and is dragging me into fear over things I have no control over and that are clearly way out of any good perspective).
I hope everyone is doing well this evening. Grateful to be sober Thanks again for the posts TDC. R4R - how are you doing?
As to the link you posted, all I can say is first that all those involved are in my thoughts, and that second I raised a general topic at my meeting tonight but in some ways it dealt with my issue on hand and the post you linked to is also relevant. Basically I need to get rooted and put my life into perspective. I was very fortunate not have hurt anybody (myself included) and I'll make a decision by Monday/Tuesday as to whether I will hire another attorney to handle the appeal (likely my choice to at least try and have the dismissal affirmed) and then let it go so I can focus on things I can change - which the outcome of what happens next in my issue I cannot change (e.g. - my job, I can focus my energy there and hopefully create change. My daily life- health, I can focus and make change there. My program of recovery. etc. my mess with the courts I can only do one of two things at this juncture, hire an attorney or not. Any more energy put into the event after that is wasted and is dragging me into fear over things I have no control over and that are clearly way out of any good perspective).
I hope everyone is doing well this evening. Grateful to be sober
Thanks again for the posts TDC. R4R - how are you doing?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Venus, Space
Posts: 757
Oh yea, I just posted in the 1 year and under thread, I'm going to a Giants game tomorrow with a friend who is like 20+ years sober, he's kinda become a sort of 'father figure' of sorts over the last 7+ months. His wife gave me her ticket so the two of us could go together. It'll be my first ever real life baseball game (clearly I'm not a baseball fan, but I became a Giants fan last year lol )
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