Codependency and beyond - Part 19
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Hey Codie Friends: I just had a huge shame attack. Totally crazy how it applies to today's reading. I'm actually tearing up realizing the connection between What Happened Now and What I'm Making It Mean. The world didn't end! I'm not the worst person ever!
Wallowing in Self-Pity and Self-Hate are just codie games that keep me sick.
I will recognize it, learn from it, forgive myself (hardest part), and move forward.
Wallowing in Self-Pity and Self-Hate are just codie games that keep me sick.
I will recognize it, learn from it, forgive myself (hardest part), and move forward.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
I have a question.
In the spirit of "Find someone who has what you want and then ask them for help"....what is the skill I'm lacking that lets people brush off mistakes, learn from them and move on quickly? What is that called?
Thank you in advance
In the spirit of "Find someone who has what you want and then ask them for help"....what is the skill I'm lacking that lets people brush off mistakes, learn from them and move on quickly? What is that called?
Thank you in advance
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Hi Frances,
I'm not sure it's a skill but I know that some people are better at it than I am.
I think it's poor self-esteem. When I felt ashamed by my drinking, it was almost a comforting feeling to me because I was so familiar with it. I grew up, being taught to be ashamed of myself and everything I did. It was a part of me. Fortunately some people have healthy self-esteem and when they feel shame they recognize it's not who they are, and they can learn and move on. I learned too, but it took me a very long time.
Oh, and I should add (please don't anyone be offended), I was raised a Catholic and went to Catholic School. They specialize in shame. I've since learned to separate my beliefs about God and life from what I learned then.
I'm not sure it's a skill but I know that some people are better at it than I am.
I think it's poor self-esteem. When I felt ashamed by my drinking, it was almost a comforting feeling to me because I was so familiar with it. I grew up, being taught to be ashamed of myself and everything I did. It was a part of me. Fortunately some people have healthy self-esteem and when they feel shame they recognize it's not who they are, and they can learn and move on. I learned too, but it took me a very long time.Oh, and I should add (please don't anyone be offended), I was raised a Catholic and went to Catholic School. They specialize in shame. I've since learned to separate my beliefs about God and life from what I learned then.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 1,691
confidence francis? self confidence maybe that will take time i guess. Im sober 5 months so im building that
used to be a drinker.
So i have some guilt. I feel guilty for distancing myself from my mother. I want to sort that. Fix it if you will. It probably comes from some incorrect belief or value system but what it is i dont know. I am doing the right thing im nearly sure. I guess i have a conflicting belief about 'looking after' my parents or something or 'appreciating' them.
I have a music CD and although i will play it after posting this message. Its a CD that reminds me of my mother. I did have a feeling that i was being unfairly critical. There again i guess to have a belief that i aught never criticise my parents publically is probably a opressive belief i dont know.
Advice would be welcome Am i banging on Anne? I do post alot.
I too have confidence or self esteem issues francis ODAAT)
used to be a drinker.
So i have some guilt. I feel guilty for distancing myself from my mother. I want to sort that. Fix it if you will. It probably comes from some incorrect belief or value system but what it is i dont know. I am doing the right thing im nearly sure. I guess i have a conflicting belief about 'looking after' my parents or something or 'appreciating' them.
I have a music CD and although i will play it after posting this message. Its a CD that reminds me of my mother. I did have a feeling that i was being unfairly critical. There again i guess to have a belief that i aught never criticise my parents publically is probably a opressive belief i dont know.
Advice would be welcome
Am i banging on Anne? I do post alot.I too have confidence or self esteem issues francis ODAAT
)
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kevin)))- no offense taken.
(((Frances))) - I don't know that it's a particular skill, it's just something that has come to me over time...usually in hindsight. Everyone here can tell you of the many, many times I have worked myself into a tizzy about something, did the "what if's", justified why I had every reason to be all worked up and then? It just worked out. Sometimes the way I wanted, sometimes not, sometimes better than I could ever have imagined, but I found myself thinking "I got all worked up for THAT?"
Sadly, I didn't get it right away..I continued to get all worked up, then later would think "well, that was a waste of time". It's taken years of looking at things in hindsight, to get to the point where I can (most of the time) tell myself "I'll do the best I can and let God do the rest".
Now, I'm having a backslide...irritable, edgy, feeling like a caged animal. I KNOW this is the dental appt. I have tomorrow, the 18 chapters of studying I'm trying to cram into my brain, worrying I'm not going to know "enough" to pass the final tests. I KNOW the easiest thing would be to study, have faith that I've done good through the quarter, God is not going to "snatch away" my test taking abilities (something I've always worried about since nursing school, 23 years ago), but I'm just not at that point. No doubt, you will see a post from me, in a few days, that says "done with the quarter, everything is fine, no more tooth pain" but it's not something I've learned and never do it again. I'm much better about not getting worked up, but it's still a progress.
(((Lisa))) - I agree on the shame. If it werent for the feelings I felt when I relapsed..shame, self-hatred, etc., I wouldn't have been willing to try recovery.
I did get a good night's sleep, mainly because I was sick of the way I was feeling and just said "the he!! with it" and went to sleep. Of course, it wasn't until 5 a.m., and I slept 'til 3, missed church, but should be able to make it on a regular basis from now on, as I won't be having to fit studying in with the 2 jobs.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
(((Frances))) - I don't know that it's a particular skill, it's just something that has come to me over time...usually in hindsight. Everyone here can tell you of the many, many times I have worked myself into a tizzy about something, did the "what if's", justified why I had every reason to be all worked up and then? It just worked out. Sometimes the way I wanted, sometimes not, sometimes better than I could ever have imagined, but I found myself thinking "I got all worked up for THAT?"
Sadly, I didn't get it right away..I continued to get all worked up, then later would think "well, that was a waste of time". It's taken years of looking at things in hindsight, to get to the point where I can (most of the time) tell myself "I'll do the best I can and let God do the rest".
Now, I'm having a backslide...irritable, edgy, feeling like a caged animal. I KNOW this is the dental appt. I have tomorrow, the 18 chapters of studying I'm trying to cram into my brain, worrying I'm not going to know "enough" to pass the final tests. I KNOW the easiest thing would be to study, have faith that I've done good through the quarter, God is not going to "snatch away" my test taking abilities (something I've always worried about since nursing school, 23 years ago), but I'm just not at that point. No doubt, you will see a post from me, in a few days, that says "done with the quarter, everything is fine, no more tooth pain" but it's not something I've learned and never do it again. I'm much better about not getting worked up, but it's still a progress.
(((Lisa))) - I agree on the shame. If it werent for the feelings I felt when I relapsed..shame, self-hatred, etc., I wouldn't have been willing to try recovery.
I did get a good night's sleep, mainly because I was sick of the way I was feeling and just said "the he!! with it" and went to sleep. Of course, it wasn't until 5 a.m., and I slept 'til 3, missed church, but should be able to make it on a regular basis from now on, as I won't be having to fit studying in with the 2 jobs.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Originally Posted by Anna 
when they feel shame they recognize it's not who they are
Amy--This is a prayer I can use: "I'll do the best I can and let God do the rest". Sending you vibes for a good night's rest and a successful dentist appt. When is your test?
A miracle just happened. Long story short, a re-play just happened of what made me feel shameful this morning and it went fine. My HP wanted me to see that I can learn and move on.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
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((Frances)) - yeah, self esteem has been an ongoing problem for me, too, but it's not as bad as it used to be.
My one test is Tue. evening. Will have to go back to the dentist for a postop appt. that day. The other test (the final) and 2 quizzes just have to be done by Sun. night at midnight. However, I will be working Fri. and Sat., at least (maybe Wed.) and not real sure how I'll feel the next couple days, so am trying to get as much done as I can.
I was telling Tess how I was feeling so out of sorts, and she said that considering the being prepared, getting cancelled, twice, it probably feels as if I'm gearing up for a war, and that's exactly what it feels like. It's that "unknown"..am I gonna be in agony for 2 days, bruised up? I truly feel I will do just fine, but gotta admit that little "fear of the unknown" still has an effect. I swear, though, if Will calls me in the morning and it can't be done? I'm going to tell them I want it done for free!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
My one test is Tue. evening. Will have to go back to the dentist for a postop appt. that day. The other test (the final) and 2 quizzes just have to be done by Sun. night at midnight. However, I will be working Fri. and Sat., at least (maybe Wed.) and not real sure how I'll feel the next couple days, so am trying to get as much done as I can.
I was telling Tess how I was feeling so out of sorts, and she said that considering the being prepared, getting cancelled, twice, it probably feels as if I'm gearing up for a war, and that's exactly what it feels like. It's that "unknown"..am I gonna be in agony for 2 days, bruised up? I truly feel I will do just fine, but gotta admit that little "fear of the unknown" still has an effect. I swear, though, if Will calls me in the morning and it can't be done? I'm going to tell them I want it done for free!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
((((Amy))))
I was taught that thinking negatively about myself is reverse pride, and that the ego's job is to make us feel separate and alone, or not good enough in this case.
What I have learned to do is recognize when I have actually done something that hurt someone and try and make amends in short order. If it is not something I could have done differently, if I did things out of love and to my best ability, I remind myself that I am exactly as the Source created me, so I am "good enough".
I have also learned that my parents did the best they knew how Kevin. My parents love me. So I forgive any perceived short comings they have, and love them back. They are still not as I would have them be, but if I act in kindness and love, and accept people for who they are (warts and all) I tend to get good results back
I was taught that thinking negatively about myself is reverse pride, and that the ego's job is to make us feel separate and alone, or not good enough in this case.
What I have learned to do is recognize when I have actually done something that hurt someone and try and make amends in short order. If it is not something I could have done differently, if I did things out of love and to my best ability, I remind myself that I am exactly as the Source created me, so I am "good enough".
I have also learned that my parents did the best they knew how Kevin. My parents love me. So I forgive any perceived short comings they have, and love them back. They are still not as I would have them be, but if I act in kindness and love, and accept people for who they are (warts and all) I tend to get good results back
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Lisa))) - thank you for that. I just finished watching the two latest Shania Twain shows, and I swear, it's like they speak to me. She's been working on a new song, the whole series, and it's all about letting go of regrets, realizing that doing your best is good enough, getting "kicked when you're down" and getting right back up..stuff like that. She keeps doing stuff that is totally out of her comfort zone but says every time she does that, though it terrifies her in the beginning, she gets a sense of relief after having done it. I just find it all pretty inspiring. The main chorus of the song is "today is your day, nothing can stand in your way". The whole thing is about finding her self-esteem again, so I guess that's why I get so much out of it.
I'm on the 9th thing of 93 things I need to know for my final, but have gotten all my notes organized, and it's really not that bad, just time consuming. Doubt I will get any sleep, as I didn't get up until 3, and my appt. is in a little over 9 hours, but that's okay.
I'm going into the dentist's chair and all the tests with a positive feeling, which is way different than how I was feeling a few hours ago. Stepmom keeps telling me how much PAIN I'm going to be in, but pain hasn't killed me yet (though I thought death would be easier than the way I felt when I ruptured the disc in my back) and I've been through root canals and other stuff and did just fine.
I also believe having a good attitude really does help with physical healing. I have been eating a bit, figure I won't be able to do that for a couple of days, so am enjoying it while I can I've yet to experience any type of pain that I haven't gotten stronger for it, usually learned a lesson, so I'm not dreading the pain of the procedure. I'll finally have a full mouth of teeth, can smile without being self conscious, and it's something I've been working toward for several months. It's getting rid of a physical reminder of my crack days, and I look at is as "getting rid of my cracked up teeth", so have said a prayer of gratitude that I can close yet another chapter in my book.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I'm on the 9th thing of 93 things I need to know for my final, but have gotten all my notes organized, and it's really not that bad, just time consuming. Doubt I will get any sleep, as I didn't get up until 3, and my appt. is in a little over 9 hours, but that's okay.
I'm going into the dentist's chair and all the tests with a positive feeling, which is way different than how I was feeling a few hours ago. Stepmom keeps telling me how much PAIN I'm going to be in, but pain hasn't killed me yet (though I thought death would be easier than the way I felt when I ruptured the disc in my back) and I've been through root canals and other stuff and did just fine.
I also believe having a good attitude really does help with physical healing. I have been eating a bit, figure I won't be able to do that for a couple of days, so am enjoying it while I can
I've yet to experience any type of pain that I haven't gotten stronger for it, usually learned a lesson, so I'm not dreading the pain of the procedure. I'll finally have a full mouth of teeth, can smile without being self conscious, and it's something I've been working toward for several months. It's getting rid of a physical reminder of my crack days, and I look at is as "getting rid of my cracked up teeth", so have said a prayer of gratitude that I can close yet another chapter in my book.Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Originally Posted by Gypsy Feet
I was taught that thinking negatively about myself is reverse pride, and that the ego's job is to make us feel separate and alone, or not good enough in this case.
What I have learned to do is recognize when I have actually done something that hurt someone and try and make amends in short order. If it is not something I could have done differently, if I did things out of love and to my best ability, I remind myself that I am exactly as the Source created me, so I am "good enough".
I have also learned that my parents did the best they knew how Kevin. My parents love me. So I forgive any perceived short comings they have, and love them back. They are still not as I would have them be, but if I act in kindness and love, and accept people for who they are (warts and all) I tend to get good results back
What I have learned to do is recognize when I have actually done something that hurt someone and try and make amends in short order. If it is not something I could have done differently, if I did things out of love and to my best ability, I remind myself that I am exactly as the Source created me, so I am "good enough".
I have also learned that my parents did the best they knew how Kevin. My parents love me. So I forgive any perceived short comings they have, and love them back. They are still not as I would have them be, but if I act in kindness and love, and accept people for who they are (warts and all) I tend to get good results back
The third I'm stuck on. How do I forgive my parents? I am a 44-year old woman and talking to my dad makes me nuts. I react to everything he says like a live wire. If I could give up my grievances, my resentments, my frustrations, my grief at what our relationship is not, I would have peace. (Life pattern of being a "Rescuer" and then a "Victim/Martyr".)
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United Kingdom
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I dont know about forgiveness Francis. Im not there yet really. I protect myself really by not spending time with people that treat me badly. I guess forgiveness will come later. Lestaways I spend as little time as possible with people that treat me badly.
When i do see said people I try to remain true to myself, steer away from unecessary arguments and demonstrate the new positive changes in my personality. Sometimes its hard to find a positve to be grateful for or something you like in how someone behaves [my dad for example] but i have found there are things if you look
Im not very good at being sociable really. Its a skill, I guess. I have to practice the skill of gratitude. I think people appreciate you if you demonstrate that you genuinely appreciate [are grateful for] them or something they do that you like. Even if its a small thing. I am coming to realise my parents did SOME things ok, well even for me so i try to demonstrate gratitude for these at times without going overboard or OTT.
Heck its allsorts of balance though. Being grateful at the right time is something of a art for me. Suffocating people is seldom good i guess. Even if your suffocating them with thanks.
When i do see said people I try to remain true to myself, steer away from unecessary arguments and demonstrate the new positive changes in my personality. Sometimes its hard to find a positve to be grateful for or something you like in how someone behaves [my dad for example] but i have found there are things if you look
Im not very good at being sociable really. Its a skill, I guess. I have to practice the skill of gratitude. I think people appreciate you if you demonstrate that you genuinely appreciate [are grateful for] them or something they do that you like. Even if its a small thing. I am coming to realise my parents did SOME things ok, well even for me so i try to demonstrate gratitude for these at times without going overboard or OTT.
Heck its allsorts of balance though. Being grateful at the right time is something of a art for me. Suffocating people is seldom good i guess. Even if your suffocating them with thanks.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
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Amy, you might be under right now or coming out of it. I hope you're not in too much pain and holding onto the excitement of a new self image. I'm excited for you
Frances, I had to start forgiving myself before I could start to forgive anyone else. After taking my own accounting I realized I wasn't any different than others, though some of the actions were. I forgave my mom for not being the parent I needed, because I came to realize I wasn't the mom my daughter needed, either. She's also had to forgive me.
I had to put some serious distance between me and my mom, though, before I could start to detach. Since then, I've had to maintain very strong boundaries. We're OK now, just for today and one day at a time
Frances, I had to start forgiving myself before I could start to forgive anyone else. After taking my own accounting I realized I wasn't any different than others, though some of the actions were. I forgave my mom for not being the parent I needed, because I came to realize I wasn't the mom my daughter needed, either. She's also had to forgive me.
I had to put some serious distance between me and my mom, though, before I could start to detach. Since then, I've had to maintain very strong boundaries. We're OK now, just for today and one day at a time
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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(((Chino))) Yeah, unfortunately.....so was I....may be the same thread, maybe not.
I put a message to the mods to read, review, and remove my post as they felt needed. Never let me fingers to the talking!!!!!! Bah!
I just get back from a weekend visiting my folks. My father just had hip replacement surgery, and I went to help get the house set up for his coming home etc. He's in his early 80's, but seems to be improving a bit every day. They had him up on his feet on the same day as the surgery....really amazing!
Oh, well, I guess I'll see how "bad" the mods think I've been......
Heal quickly, (((((Amy)))))!
I put a message to the mods to read, review, and remove my post as they felt needed. Never let me fingers to the talking!!!!!! Bah!
I just get back from a weekend visiting my folks. My father just had hip replacement surgery, and I went to help get the house set up for his coming home etc. He's in his early 80's, but seems to be improving a bit every day. They had him up on his feet on the same day as the surgery....really amazing!
Oh, well, I guess I'll see how "bad" the mods think I've been......
Heal quickly, (((((Amy)))))!
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Chino))) and (((HG))) - I had to go see if I could find the thread that triggered you, found one that didn't set well with me, but am letting it go.
Thanks for all the good thoughts/prayers/etc. for my dental visit. I have my new teeth in I didn't realize the partial would have a little metal rod that is visible on each side, but I'll get used to it and it still looks WAY better to have a full set of teeth.
I do have pain, but it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Took what seemed like forever for the numbness to go away, poured a diet Sprite down my shirt, but wore an old shirt on purpose.
Couldn't talk for a few hours, thanks to the numbness, got no instructions or anything, but am going back at 10 in the morning for my postop so can find out what I need to do. The denture is a little loose, and it's like trying to talk with a wad of taffy on the roof of my mouth, but overall, I'm very happy. Will was telling me goodbye, that he'd see me tomorrow, and I wrote him a note "I owe $1000?". It ended up being about $150 less, and he said he'll still make it up to me for the time I lost for work...either a check or discount on the $700 I still have to come up with for the adjustments after the swelling has gone down.
I'm NOT bruised up, I DON'T look like a chipmunk, I just don't feel like doing much, so haven't done any studying.
Dad dropped me off then headed to AL on a trip, just got home. Stepmom was really nice, got me some more Gatorade zero, offered to get me any type of soup I wanted (still haven't eaten anything), but then got on the same conversation she's been driving me crazy with for 3 or more weeks. I snapped, then apologized, but told her I'm just tired of hearing her complain about not having a bra that fits (since she lost weight), should she take the ones with tags back, should she take the one she JUST bought today back? I mean, this is NOT a major catastrophe!
Haven't studied, am not going to feel guilty about it. Did get an answer to my questions from my instructor, and the question I spent HOURS looking for the answer? He told me not to worry about it...sigh. Am hoping they don't have me scheduled for work until Fri. Not so sure I'll be able to talk, nonstop, on the DT by Wed. Will talk/sing or something tomorrow to practice
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Thanks for all the good thoughts/prayers/etc. for my dental visit. I have my new teeth in
I didn't realize the partial would have a little metal rod that is visible on each side, but I'll get used to it and it still looks WAY better to have a full set of teeth.I do have pain, but it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Took what seemed like forever for the numbness to go away, poured a diet Sprite down my shirt, but wore an old shirt on purpose.
Couldn't talk for a few hours, thanks to the numbness, got no instructions or anything, but am going back at 10 in the morning for my postop so can find out what I need to do. The denture is a little loose, and it's like trying to talk with a wad of taffy on the roof of my mouth, but overall, I'm very happy. Will was telling me goodbye, that he'd see me tomorrow, and I wrote him a note "I owe $1000?". It ended up being about $150 less, and he said he'll still make it up to me for the time I lost for work...either a check or discount on the $700 I still have to come up with for the adjustments after the swelling has gone down.
I'm NOT bruised up, I DON'T look like a chipmunk, I just don't feel like doing much, so haven't done any studying.
Dad dropped me off then headed to AL on a trip, just got home. Stepmom was really nice, got me some more Gatorade zero, offered to get me any type of soup I wanted (still haven't eaten anything), but then got on the same conversation she's been driving me crazy with for 3 or more weeks. I snapped, then apologized, but told her I'm just tired of hearing her complain about not having a bra that fits (since she lost weight), should she take the ones with tags back, should she take the one she JUST bought today back? I mean, this is NOT a major catastrophe!
Haven't studied, am not going to feel guilty about it. Did get an answer to my questions from my instructor, and the question I spent HOURS looking for the answer? He told me not to worry about it...sigh. Am hoping they don't have me scheduled for work until Fri. Not so sure I'll be able to talk, nonstop, on the DT by Wed. Will talk/sing or something tomorrow to practice
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Amy, so happy you have your teeth!!! Yeah! And glad you're not in a bunch of pain
Your stepmom sounds OCD, especially since she hoards, too. Thankfully all of us here in my home are O and C at separate times lol. I can't imagine the chaos otherwise.
Daughter's HCV flared again. She was looking jaundiced, was nauseous, and I insisted she go lay out in the sun a while to help break down bilirubin. I shocked both of us when I told her to do that, and reminded her to call her doctor. I told husband about it and said I'll be surprised if she lives past 40, because this is chronic.
Then he asked how the hell did this all happen? It was like the light bulb finally went on. I got so damned mad but maintained civility. Told him I was WAY PAST the why's and how's, had acceptance, and had to do a bunch of hard work to get here. Also told him I'm not going to answer his questions, won't and can't do the work for him.
But I really wanted to smack the crap out of him!!!
OK, going to find my happy place again.....
Your stepmom sounds OCD, especially since she hoards, too. Thankfully all of us here in my home are O and C at separate times lol. I can't imagine the chaos otherwise.
Daughter's HCV flared again. She was looking jaundiced, was nauseous, and I insisted she go lay out in the sun a while to help break down bilirubin. I shocked both of us when I told her to do that, and reminded her to call her doctor. I told husband about it and said I'll be surprised if she lives past 40, because this is chronic.
Then he asked how the hell did this all happen? It was like the light bulb finally went on. I got so damned mad but maintained civility. Told him I was WAY PAST the why's and how's, had acceptance, and had to do a bunch of hard work to get here. Also told him I'm not going to answer his questions, won't and can't do the work for him.
But I really wanted to smack the crap out of him!!!
OK, going to find my happy place again.....
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Chino))) - the various types of hepatitis are on my final exam. Good for you about telling her to lay out in the sun and talk to her dr. I totally understand about wanting to smack your hubby My cousin says he got his hep from a tattoo, but I have my doubts, knowing the lifestyle he used to have.
Stepmom just came in to check on me. I told her it does hurt, but mainly where the upper one wiggles. Hopefully, can get that worked out tomorrow. I can't take them out, tonight, even though she said she HAD to take hers out, for a little while the day she had them done. She never does follow dr/dentist orders.
I'll make sure I don't do what dad did, years ago. Couldn't figure out WHY his dentures were suddenly rubbing against his jaw and causing pain. Got to looking at them, and realized that when he'd just left them laying out on the nightstand, Tinker had gotten hold of them and chewed them! It's not like she doesn't have really sharp teeth, she had to try to get MORE teeth?
Elvis is telling me it's time to get back to snuggling, and we all know, Elvis rules the house!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
My cousin says he got his hep from a tattoo, but I have my doubts, knowing the lifestyle he used to have.Stepmom just came in to check on me. I told her it does hurt, but mainly where the upper one wiggles. Hopefully, can get that worked out tomorrow. I can't take them out, tonight, even though she said she HAD to take hers out, for a little while the day she had them done. She never does follow dr/dentist orders.
I'll make sure I don't do what dad did, years ago. Couldn't figure out WHY his dentures were suddenly rubbing against his jaw and causing pain. Got to looking at them, and realized that when he'd just left them laying out on the nightstand, Tinker had gotten hold of them and chewed them! It's not like she doesn't have really sharp teeth, she had to try to get MORE teeth?
Elvis is telling me it's time to get back to snuggling, and we all know, Elvis rules the house!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
(((Amy))) more hugs for you lady!!
I don't really know how I amended the relationship with my parents, I only know it came from working the 12 steps, from listening to my sponsor and from prayer and maybe some grace.
I take my father in short bursts. We are having lunch tomorrow. At some point, I accepted him for who he was. He loves me the best way he knows how, which looks nothing like how I would have it be, and thats ok, because I am nothing like how he envisions a daughter to be.
My daughters father died the night of her birthday. The next day she had midterms, and she post poned them for one week. She finished the semester with all Bs. She gave my dad her grade report (he pays her tuition) and he said "where are the As?". . .
He is a very smart man, but fails at interpersonal communication.
I forgive him, and I am grateful that I am who I am. I am grateful that I have a connection to a loving Creator and I can share the abundant Love that I find in this world with my child.
we all have room to grow
I don't really know how I amended the relationship with my parents, I only know it came from working the 12 steps, from listening to my sponsor and from prayer and maybe some grace.
I take my father in short bursts. We are having lunch tomorrow. At some point, I accepted him for who he was. He loves me the best way he knows how, which looks nothing like how I would have it be, and thats ok, because I am nothing like how he envisions a daughter to be.
My daughters father died the night of her birthday. The next day she had midterms, and she post poned them for one week. She finished the semester with all Bs. She gave my dad her grade report (he pays her tuition) and he said "where are the As?". . .
He is a very smart man, but fails at interpersonal communication.
I forgive him, and I am grateful that I am who I am. I am grateful that I have a connection to a loving Creator and I can share the abundant Love that I find in this world with my child.
we all have room to grow
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