Class of December 2010 Part 3
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Not really Soph - it's storm season....
I feel sorry for people who have been flooded - dried out... then got hit again with a storm - but it's happened.
Another one headed this way now...best get off line.
night all
D
I feel sorry for people who have been flooded - dried out... then got hit again with a storm - but it's happened.
Another one headed this way now...best get off line.
night all
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Home safe and sound after a great show. It was great to be there and enjoying the show, instead of struggling half the time with whether to have one more drink.
MJ, it was the Old 97s, a Dallas-based alt. country band. The opening act was terrific too, Langhorne Slim, a singer-songwriter I hadn't heard before. Not sure how to categorize him. Had bits of folk, rock, blues and country all mixed together. Really liked it, whatever the heck it was...
OK, way past my bedtime. Must force myself not to start looking at other discussion threads....
MJ, it was the Old 97s, a Dallas-based alt. country band. The opening act was terrific too, Langhorne Slim, a singer-songwriter I hadn't heard before. Not sure how to categorize him. Had bits of folk, rock, blues and country all mixed together. Really liked it, whatever the heck it was...
OK, way past my bedtime. Must force myself not to start looking at other discussion threads....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 384
Hi gang!
Winter storm here. Glad I have the option to work from home, as my 'toy car' doesn't go in the snow. Thankfully we don't get much of it.
Really struggled last night. REALLY wanted wine to go with the snow.
I have so many different teas and coffees I had to re-arrange the cabinet to hold them all.
Coming up on day # 50 tomorrow. Still can't believe it. In some ways it seems longer than that....in other ways I can't believe I've come that far.
Have a good day everyone!
Winter storm here. Glad I have the option to work from home, as my 'toy car' doesn't go in the snow. Thankfully we don't get much of it.
Really struggled last night. REALLY wanted wine to go with the snow.
I have so many different teas and coffees I had to re-arrange the cabinet to hold them all.
Coming up on day # 50 tomorrow. Still can't believe it. In some ways it seems longer than that....in other ways I can't believe I've come that far.
Have a good day everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 581
Hi Guys. I awoke sober and thankful but then I had a wallop: long story short, I read my son's cell phone texts and he asked his buddy (who is supposed to sleep over this weekend) if he wanted to "spark up" so my worst fears have been confirmed: my son is now experimenting with pot.
Again, long story short...I have already spoken with my son, he is staying home from school today and I have called in sick and we are going to have a conference call with his dad. Son says it is all talk and he has never smoked pot, yet, but is highly curious and surrounded by it at his school, and the kid he was inviting over is a cool kid my son was trying to impress. He wept, I wept, and I have no idea what's going to happen next but...oh well...we will get through this and anyway...there is another thread for this kind of thing! ;-)
I just wanted to share with my classmates. Single mom, bright curious 14 year old son.
Bye for now...Soph
Again, long story short...I have already spoken with my son, he is staying home from school today and I have called in sick and we are going to have a conference call with his dad. Son says it is all talk and he has never smoked pot, yet, but is highly curious and surrounded by it at his school, and the kid he was inviting over is a cool kid my son was trying to impress. He wept, I wept, and I have no idea what's going to happen next but...oh well...we will get through this and anyway...there is another thread for this kind of thing! ;-)
I just wanted to share with my classmates. Single mom, bright curious 14 year old son.
Bye for now...Soph
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 788
Old 97s...will check them out! How about hot chocolate to go with the snow? Went to a meeting this morning and got my 30 day chip. Everyone was so so nice. Trying to chill out and relax and not try to control the world...feels weird.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: BC
Posts: 161
Originally Posted by Soph 
Hi Guys. I awoke sober and thankful but then I had a wallop: long story short, I read my son's cell phone texts and he asked his buddy (who is supposed to sleep over this weekend) if he wanted to "spark up" so my worst fears have been confirmed: my son is now experimenting with pot.
Again, long story short...I have already spoken with my son, he is staying home from school today and I have called in sick and we are going to have a conference call with his dad. Son says it is all talk and he has never smoked pot, yet, but is highly curious and surrounded by it at his school, and the kid he was inviting over is a cool kid my son was trying to impress. He wept, I wept, and I have no idea what's going to happen next but...oh well...we will get through this and anyway...there is another thread for this kind of thing! ;-)
I just wanted to share with my classmates. Single mom, bright curious 14 year old son.
Bye for now...Soph
Again, long story short...I have already spoken with my son, he is staying home from school today and I have called in sick and we are going to have a conference call with his dad. Son says it is all talk and he has never smoked pot, yet, but is highly curious and surrounded by it at his school, and the kid he was inviting over is a cool kid my son was trying to impress. He wept, I wept, and I have no idea what's going to happen next but...oh well...we will get through this and anyway...there is another thread for this kind of thing! ;-)
I just wanted to share with my classmates. Single mom, bright curious 14 year old son.
Bye for now...Soph
As a 14 year old boy, your son needs his space. By reading his texts you have shown that you don't trust him, and that you don't care about his personal space. I know you are doing all this to protect him, but it is unhealthy, and your son feels threatened by you now. You just showed him that you feel the need to keep an eye on him. He's mad at you right now. You're most likely mad at him. You gotta remember though, kids grow up. You can't baby them their whole lives. You have to trust that they know whats right and wrong, and let them decide how to live their life. You probably think 14 is young, but for most kids these days, experimenting with alcohol and drugs at that age isn't uncommon. I started drinking when I was 12, and started smoking marijuana when I was 13. I know you're stressing out because you're thinking if he's smoking weed, he's gonna start drinking, then start doing drugs, then become homeless. The list goes on and on. You have to trust that he will make the right decisions. If he doesn't, that doesn't make you a bad mother or an unfit parent. He's an individual.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I'm giving you some honest advice based on what I went through, and what my friends went through.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: BC
Posts: 161
If you don't like what I had to say, feel free to type in big CAPS LETTERS that you think I'd an idiot, I don't mind haha
It's always best to be realistic. Unfortunately, we all live our lives hoping and praying for an idealistic reality
It's always best to be realistic. Unfortunately, we all live our lives hoping and praying for an idealistic reality
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: BC
Posts: 161
Day 32 here
Been getting some cravings lately, I haven't been dwelling on them and it's amazing how fast they do disappear. 10-15 minutes max and the desire to drink is gone. In the past, whenever a strong craving would come, it felt like it would last an hour, or until I broke down and went and got a bottle. I had a craving yesterday when I was in the lobby area waiting to see my addictions counselor. Haha how odd.
Then this morning right when I woke up, I started to "plan" my next drink, and how I could get away with it. NONSENSE I tell ya. I must have been dreaming about booze, or my brains trying to find new ways to trick me, like trying to take advantage of me when I'm all vulnerable and sleepy.
Been getting some cravings lately, I haven't been dwelling on them and it's amazing how fast they do disappear. 10-15 minutes max and the desire to drink is gone. In the past, whenever a strong craving would come, it felt like it would last an hour, or until I broke down and went and got a bottle. I had a craving yesterday when I was in the lobby area waiting to see my addictions counselor. Haha how odd.
Then this morning right when I woke up, I started to "plan" my next drink, and how I could get away with it. NONSENSE I tell ya. I must have been dreaming about booze, or my brains trying to find new ways to trick me, like trying to take advantage of me when I'm all vulnerable and sleepy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: BC
Posts: 161
I just read what i wrote to you Soph, and it sounds kind of harsh.
Here's the thing, I can't tell you what to do as a parent. That's your job, no one elses. The best thing you can do is to just talk about it. Which you are doing. Don't make him feel threatened though, because I've seen it happen with my friends, and myself, and kids rebel.
Here's the thing, I can't tell you what to do as a parent. That's your job, no one elses. The best thing you can do is to just talk about it. Which you are doing. Don't make him feel threatened though, because I've seen it happen with my friends, and myself, and kids rebel.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 788
Soph, wow, that's a tough one. North, your opinion is valuable...thanks for sharing. I smoked pot at 14 and hated it and have only smoked it maybe 3 times since...I also think it's ok that your son is experimenting...especially since he planned to do it at your house, not out somewhere...sounds like you guys are forging a really close connection, which is really all that matters. Glad we are here to help each other with this stuff. Soph, take care of yourself, too...your sobriety is the rock the rest can rest upon...wow, I am not really saying anything helpful here...but I will check back letr to see how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 177
Take him for a ride on the bad side of town, show him how people can end up...if it was smoking cigarettes bring him to the cancer ward...if its stealing bring him to a jail. Sounds harsh, but honestly, you can't sugar coat it for kids these days...and yes I will do all these things for my kids 
I also tell them they will be murdered if they ever go with a stranger, because that is the reality of today. What our kids face today is NOT the same as when we were "experimenting". Brutal honesty. Fill him with all the knowledge you can. He will probably still experiment, but in the back of his mind will be your voice
I also tell them they will be murdered if they ever go with a stranger, because that is the reality of today. What our kids face today is NOT the same as when we were "experimenting". Brutal honesty. Fill him with all the knowledge you can. He will probably still experiment, but in the back of his mind will be your voice
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I'm hear what North is saying about reading text messages, but then again, trusting a teenage boy to always make the right decisions is a bit of a leap. I know because I was once a teenage boy.... Most of all I think it's great your response is to talk with him, instead of just lecturing.
Soph, do you think your own struggles actually lend some extra authority to your views? Not that experimenting means he's headed down a bad road, but it certainly gives you the ability to say, you know, small things can sometimes turn into big things if you're not careful. Seems like you have some special insights and experiences to share with him...
Soph, do you think your own struggles actually lend some extra authority to your views? Not that experimenting means he's headed down a bad road, but it certainly gives you the ability to say, you know, small things can sometimes turn into big things if you're not careful. Seems like you have some special insights and experiences to share with him...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 581
Thank you all. I was hoping for feedback which is of course, why I posted.
Northland, my friend in BC...thank you. I agreed with you completely.
My son and I have had a very close relationship his whole life because his dad and I split when he was only 2. At times it has been "enmeshed" actually, especially over the past few years when I made an unwise decision and had a hasty, bad marriage to an alcoholic/addict and then quickly got divorced.
So my son lived through that and blamed me for being an idiot for awhile but lately we've been back on track and he is in therapy and has so far seemed pretty smart. He got his braces off and all of a sudden he looks like a young Ashton Kutcher and is getting attention at high school (is in 9th grade) and is trying to seem cooler than he is.
He wasn't mad about the texts actually. He said it didn't matter and that he was relieved in a way. He got choked up talking about trying to fit in with the black kids at his school (we're white but he loves rap and Eminem and just wants to be "not" middle class, if you know what I mean.) So around me he is Malcolm in the middle but at school, I think he acts differently.
Our talk was frank and I was not angry. I could not be a hypocrite. I told him that my school was full of pot smokers too, and I had tried it (11th grade) but never liked it.
He said that he was frankly curious. He said he knew it was for losers, he said he didn't want to end up like my ex (his stepfather) and he was too smart to ever be an addict. He even said he felt responsible for me since he was an only child and he would have to bear the responsibility of caring for me in my old age. (!)
So...that is where it stands. A call has been put in to the therapist. My son is watching Flight of the Conchords at the moment and I am making chicken soup. I did, however, walk him through the legal aspects and also mentioned going to a few choice locales if he was interested in the harsher realities of where pot can lead.
You guys are the best. I feel even more committed to being sober today. THank you all for your input. I appreciate it. I haven't anyone else I want to tell this crisis to. Not even my friends!!
MJ, congrats on getting your chip!! That is awesome!!
Northland, my friend in BC...thank you. I agreed with you completely.
My son and I have had a very close relationship his whole life because his dad and I split when he was only 2. At times it has been "enmeshed" actually, especially over the past few years when I made an unwise decision and had a hasty, bad marriage to an alcoholic/addict and then quickly got divorced.
So my son lived through that and blamed me for being an idiot for awhile but lately we've been back on track and he is in therapy and has so far seemed pretty smart. He got his braces off and all of a sudden he looks like a young Ashton Kutcher and is getting attention at high school (is in 9th grade) and is trying to seem cooler than he is.
He wasn't mad about the texts actually. He said it didn't matter and that he was relieved in a way. He got choked up talking about trying to fit in with the black kids at his school (we're white but he loves rap and Eminem and just wants to be "not" middle class, if you know what I mean.) So around me he is Malcolm in the middle but at school, I think he acts differently.
Our talk was frank and I was not angry. I could not be a hypocrite. I told him that my school was full of pot smokers too, and I had tried it (11th grade) but never liked it.
He said that he was frankly curious. He said he knew it was for losers, he said he didn't want to end up like my ex (his stepfather) and he was too smart to ever be an addict. He even said he felt responsible for me since he was an only child and he would have to bear the responsibility of caring for me in my old age. (!)
So...that is where it stands. A call has been put in to the therapist. My son is watching Flight of the Conchords at the moment and I am making chicken soup. I did, however, walk him through the legal aspects and also mentioned going to a few choice locales if he was interested in the harsher realities of where pot can lead.
You guys are the best. I feel even more committed to being sober today. THank you all for your input. I appreciate it. I haven't anyone else I want to tell this crisis to. Not even my friends!!
MJ, congrats on getting your chip!! That is awesome!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
OK I missed a page LOL
Soph I'm sorry for that situation.
I'm not a parent - but I think you're handling it well with talking to your son honestly and openly.
I think, from looking back at where I screwed up as a kid, education is the key - and also mutual respect - both of which it seems you got covered.
I started my pot smoking not much older than your son is - I sure wish I could get those ensuing 25 years back.
D
Soph I'm sorry for that situation.
I'm not a parent - but I think you're handling it well with talking to your son honestly and openly.
I think, from looking back at where I screwed up as a kid, education is the key - and also mutual respect - both of which it seems you got covered.
I started my pot smoking not much older than your son is - I sure wish I could get those ensuing 25 years back.
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
