Codependency and beyond part 16
Leap of Faith Survivor
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Codependency and beyond part 16
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Friday, November 19, 2010
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Accepting Our Feelings
Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings!
In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service.
We may deny that we feel frustrated, angry, or hurt in reaction to a friend.
We may deny feelings of fear, or anger, toward our children.
We may deny a whole range of feelings toward our spouse or the person with whom we're in a love relationship.
We may deny feelings provoked by people we work for, or by people who work for us.
Sometimes the feelings are a direct reaction to others. Sometimes people trigger something deeper - an old sadness or frustration.
Regardless of the source of our feelings, they are still our feelings. We own them. And acceptance is often all that is necessary to make them go away.
We don't have to let our feelings control our behavior. We don't have to act on each feeling that passes through us. We do not need to indulge in inappropriate behavior.
It does help to talk about our feelings with someone we trust. Sometimes we need to bring our feelings to the person who is triggering them. That can breed intimacy and closeness. But the most important person we need to tell is ourselves. If we allow our feelings to pass through us, accept them, and release them, we shall know what to do next.
Today, I will remember that feelings are an important part of my life. I will be open to my feelings in family life, in friendships, in love, and at work. I will feel my feelings without judging myself.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Accepting Our Feelings
Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings!
In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service.
We may deny that we feel frustrated, angry, or hurt in reaction to a friend.
We may deny feelings of fear, or anger, toward our children.
We may deny a whole range of feelings toward our spouse or the person with whom we're in a love relationship.
We may deny feelings provoked by people we work for, or by people who work for us.
Sometimes the feelings are a direct reaction to others. Sometimes people trigger something deeper - an old sadness or frustration.
Regardless of the source of our feelings, they are still our feelings. We own them. And acceptance is often all that is necessary to make them go away.
We don't have to let our feelings control our behavior. We don't have to act on each feeling that passes through us. We do not need to indulge in inappropriate behavior.
It does help to talk about our feelings with someone we trust. Sometimes we need to bring our feelings to the person who is triggering them. That can breed intimacy and closeness. But the most important person we need to tell is ourselves. If we allow our feelings to pass through us, accept them, and release them, we shall know what to do next.
Today, I will remember that feelings are an important part of my life. I will be open to my feelings in family life, in friendships, in love, and at work. I will feel my feelings without judging myself.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
I always struggled with accepting my feeling and I think it was partly because I didn't know how to be with my feelings; I was afraid of my feelings; didn't want to feel them, but also I was ashamed of them...what they said about me...
I have figured out for myself that they are just that, feelings, but also that they are my feelings...mine...and I want to own them now...I want to feel them ....
they tell me so much, they are my road map forward, my way through.
Gyps, I am glad you enjoyed a wonderful evening with your friends.
Live, sorry to hear about your back problems...I appreciate that...been having a bout with sciatica this week...ugh...
Amy, cheese cake sampler! oh boy...I have been doing a lot of cooking lately...enjoying taking care of myself that way...but I have been thinking of making cheesecake!
I will have to give most of it away of course but that will surely be the fun part
(((Rita)))
I have figured out for myself that they are just that, feelings, but also that they are my feelings...mine...and I want to own them now...I want to feel them ....
they tell me so much, they are my road map forward, my way through.
Gyps, I am glad you enjoyed a wonderful evening with your friends.
Live, sorry to hear about your back problems...I appreciate that...been having a bout with sciatica this week...ugh...
Amy, cheese cake sampler! oh boy...I have been doing a lot of cooking lately...enjoying taking care of myself that way...but I have been thinking of making cheesecake!
I will have to give most of it away of course but that will surely be the fun part
(((Rita)))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I used to always say I controlled my emotions, they did not control me. It was true on the surface in that I was controlling my reactions, but I wasn't allowing myself to actually feel my emotions for longer than a nanosecond. Of course they all piled up and I imploded.
Now I sit with my emotions, internally stay still when I feel any emotion above average and ordinary. I remember the first time I read someone suggest that on this site. I was like, huh? You know how a dog turns it's head sideways? That was me. But it was intriguing to me so I started practicing every day. The first time I succeeded, I didn't realize it until afterward. It was a classic aha! moment. I told my therapist being still is REALLY hard, but I said it with wonder and a smile on my face.
Now I sit with my emotions, internally stay still when I feel any emotion above average and ordinary. I remember the first time I read someone suggest that on this site. I was like, huh? You know how a dog turns it's head sideways? That was me. But it was intriguing to me so I started practicing every day. The first time I succeeded, I didn't realize it until afterward. It was a classic aha! moment. I told my therapist being still is REALLY hard, but I said it with wonder and a smile on my face.
Leap of Faith Survivor
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Originally Posted by Chino 
Now I sit with my emotions, internally stay still when I feel any emotion above average and ordinary. I remember the first time I read someone suggest that on this site. I was like, huh? You know how a dog turns it's head sideways? That was me. But it was intriguing to me so I started practicing every day. The first time I succeeded, I didn't realize it until afterward. It was a classic aha! moment. I told my therapist being still is REALLY hard, but I said it with wonder and a smile on my face.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Well, I grew up thinking feeling were unseemly, weak and something to be over rode with reason and intellect. There wasn't much freedom of expression or acknowledgement of feelings or certainly not my right to have them! I then filtered which feelings were good and which should not exist.
I really think it is only lately that I have begun to experience the full range of human emotions.
uh-oh. As I was typing this, I just now got a phone call from Danny, XH, his (what was our) home burnt to the ground Wednesday. an electrical fire while he was gone. nothing salvagable. I am in shock and very concerned.
I have to think about this.
I really think it is only lately that I have begun to experience the full range of human emotions.
uh-oh. As I was typing this, I just now got a phone call from Danny, XH, his (what was our) home burnt to the ground Wednesday. an electrical fire while he was gone. nothing salvagable. I am in shock and very concerned.
I have to think about this.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Saturday, November 20, 2010
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Wants and Needs
So many of us have been brainwashed to think that we can't have what we want in life. That is the belief of the martyr. It is born of deprivation and fear.
Identifying what we want and need, then writing it down, sets in motion a powerful chain of events. It indicates that we are taking responsibility for ourselves, giving God and the Universe permission to supply our wants and needs.
The belief that we deserve to have a change in character, a relationship, a new dimension to an existing relationship, a possession, a certain level of health, living, loving, or success, is a powerful force in bringing that desire to pass.
Often, when we realize that we want something, that feeling is God preparing us to receive it!
Listen. Trust. Empower the good in your life by paying attention to what you want and need. Write it down. Affirm it mentally. Pray about it. Then, let it go. Give it to God, and see what happens.
The results may be better than you think.
Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will take time to write it down, and then I will let it go. I will begin to believe I deserve the best.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Wants and Needs
So many of us have been brainwashed to think that we can't have what we want in life. That is the belief of the martyr. It is born of deprivation and fear.
Identifying what we want and need, then writing it down, sets in motion a powerful chain of events. It indicates that we are taking responsibility for ourselves, giving God and the Universe permission to supply our wants and needs.
The belief that we deserve to have a change in character, a relationship, a new dimension to an existing relationship, a possession, a certain level of health, living, loving, or success, is a powerful force in bringing that desire to pass.
Often, when we realize that we want something, that feeling is God preparing us to receive it!
Listen. Trust. Empower the good in your life by paying attention to what you want and need. Write it down. Affirm it mentally. Pray about it. Then, let it go. Give it to God, and see what happens.
The results may be better than you think.
Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will take time to write it down, and then I will let it go. I will begin to believe I deserve the best.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Yes, we are divorced and that has turned out to be best for me as I now have David with whom life is much better with by far.
But that doesn't mean that I don't love Danny from a distance, and after "letting go".
I am very concerned for him...all the family heirlooms that his mother passed on to him, her photos, everything from his life (and he is 14 years older than I am)..it is late to be starting over again and so much is lost.
He is disabled and on a fixed income and was barely making it as it was.
I want to help I just don't know how I can right now really...and that hurts.
When my sister wouldn't release my money, Danny was the one who would have sent me money because I was stranded along the road side. (her fault..grrrrr)
as for today's reading..the thought that stood out for me was that I was the one primarily responsible for having deprived myself of my wants, altho' I certainly didn't understand it that way!
I do have some good things coming up, I believe!
But that doesn't mean that I don't love Danny from a distance, and after "letting go".
I am very concerned for him...all the family heirlooms that his mother passed on to him, her photos, everything from his life (and he is 14 years older than I am)..it is late to be starting over again and so much is lost.
He is disabled and on a fixed income and was barely making it as it was.
I want to help I just don't know how I can right now really...and that hurts.
When my sister wouldn't release my money, Danny was the one who would have sent me money because I was stranded along the road side. (her fault..grrrrr)
as for today's reading..the thought that stood out for me was that I was the one primarily responsible for having deprived myself of my wants, altho' I certainly didn't understand it that way!
I do have some good things coming up, I believe!
Leap of Faith Survivor
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
(((Live))) my heart is with you...and my prayers that Danny is supported in finding his way through this huge loss and upheaval in his life
thank you for the reading, Gyps..
my mother was a codie martyr and it was many years before I was able to see the relationship between her belief system and mine and come to understand that I could choose a different way of moving in the world...and I am really grateful for that...
thank you for the reading, Gyps..
my mother was a codie martyr and it was many years before I was able to see the relationship between her belief system and mine and come to understand that I could choose a different way of moving in the world...and I am really grateful for that...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Live))) - just tried to pm you, but your box is full. Thanks for calling to check on me, sorry I didn't call you back but didn't realize I had a message until I was already at work. Sorry about Danny and the house. I would be pretty devastated if anything happened to OUR house, as so much of my mom and my childhood is here.
Sorry I haven't been around the past couple of days. I've been on SR, but had someone who was really struggling and I was trying to share my ES&H. It's really hard, sometime, when you want to do more but you know you can't
I stood up to the yelling mgr, last night, and ever since then, things have been fine. Wow! I also held my ground, sort of, with the store owner...I apologized, when I really didn't have to, but it got her off my back. Apparently, responding to anything, around there is considered "arguing". Whatever.
Can't remember if I told you all I ran into a former coworker (from the place I sued). HE also sued...fell, had to have 2 knee surgeries and they were really doing him wrong and he got almost $400,000! Dad said "too bad you didn't have HIS lawyer", but I'm glad for my friend. Not jealous at all. He kept telling me how great I looked, was thrilled that I'm still clean, and when I told him about all that was going on with me, but that I KNOW things will work out and God has great plans for me, he got a huge grin on his face and gave me a big hug.
Oh yeah...I was okay with being totally broke, and my reimbursement for my grant money came in Thu! Now I can pay my car insurance without having to ask dad for money. Also got more hours, this week, so I'm busy, but I'm content and happy
Love you all!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Sorry I haven't been around the past couple of days. I've been on SR, but had someone who was really struggling and I was trying to share my ES&H. It's really hard, sometime, when you want to do more but you know you can't
I stood up to the yelling mgr, last night, and ever since then, things have been fine. Wow! I also held my ground, sort of, with the store owner...I apologized, when I really didn't have to, but it got her off my back. Apparently, responding to anything, around there is considered "arguing". Whatever.
Can't remember if I told you all I ran into a former coworker (from the place I sued). HE also sued...fell, had to have 2 knee surgeries and they were really doing him wrong and he got almost $400,000! Dad said "too bad you didn't have HIS lawyer", but I'm glad for my friend. Not jealous at all. He kept telling me how great I looked, was thrilled that I'm still clean, and when I told him about all that was going on with me, but that I KNOW things will work out and God has great plans for me, he got a huge grin on his face and gave me a big hug.
Oh yeah...I was okay with being totally broke, and my reimbursement for my grant money came in Thu! Now I can pay my car insurance without having to ask dad for money. Also got more hours, this week, so I'm busy, but I'm content and happy
Love you all!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Sunday, November 21, 2010
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Financial Fears
I sat in the car, looking at the sign on the door of the food shelf office: "Closed until Friday." It was Wednesday. I had two hungry children and myself; I had no money.
I laid my head on the steering wheel. I couldn't take it anymore.
I had been so strong, so brave, so trusting for so long. I was a single parent with two children, recently divorced. I had worked so courageously at being grateful for what I had, while setting financial goals and working at believing I deserved the best.
I had put up with so much poverty, so much deprivation. Daily, I worked the Eleventh Step. I worked so hard at praying for knowledge of God's will for me only, and the power to carry it through. I believed I was doing what I needed to do in my life. I wasn't lollygagging. I was doing my best, working my hardest.
And there just wasn't enough money. Life had been a struggle in many ways, but the financial struggle seemed endless.
Money isn't everything, but it takes money to solve certain problems. I was sick of "letting go" and "letting go" and "letting go." I was sick of "acting as if" I had enough money. I was tired of having to work so hard daily at letting go of the pain and fear about not having enough. I was tired of working so hard at being happy without having enough. Actually, most of the time I was happy. I had found my soul in poverty. But now that I had my soul and my self, I wanted some money too.
While I sat in the car trying to compose myself, I heard God speak to me in that silent, still voice that whispers gently to our souls.
"You don't ever have to worry about money again, child. Not unless you want to. I told you that I would take care of you. And I will."
Great, I thought. Thanks a lot. I believe you. I trust you. But look around. I have no money. I have no food. And the food shelf is closed. You've let me down.
Again I heard His voice in my soul: "You don't have to worry about money again. You don't have to be afraid. I promised to meet all your needs.
I went home, called a friend, and asked to borrow some money. I hated borrowing, but I had no choice. My breakdown in the car was a release, but it didn't solve a thing - that day. There was no check in the mailbox.
But I got food for the day. And the next day. And the next. Within six months, my income doubled. Within nine months, it tripled. Since that day, I have had hard times, but I have never had to go without - not for more than a moment in time.
Now, I have enough. Sometimes I still worry about money because that seems to be habitual. But now I know I don't have to, and I know I never did.
God, help me work hard at what I believe is right for me in my life today, and I'll trust You for the rest. Help me let go of my fears about money. Help me turn that area over to You. God. Take away the blocks and barriers in my life to financial success.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Financial Fears
I sat in the car, looking at the sign on the door of the food shelf office: "Closed until Friday." It was Wednesday. I had two hungry children and myself; I had no money.
I laid my head on the steering wheel. I couldn't take it anymore.
I had been so strong, so brave, so trusting for so long. I was a single parent with two children, recently divorced. I had worked so courageously at being grateful for what I had, while setting financial goals and working at believing I deserved the best.
I had put up with so much poverty, so much deprivation. Daily, I worked the Eleventh Step. I worked so hard at praying for knowledge of God's will for me only, and the power to carry it through. I believed I was doing what I needed to do in my life. I wasn't lollygagging. I was doing my best, working my hardest.
And there just wasn't enough money. Life had been a struggle in many ways, but the financial struggle seemed endless.
Money isn't everything, but it takes money to solve certain problems. I was sick of "letting go" and "letting go" and "letting go." I was sick of "acting as if" I had enough money. I was tired of having to work so hard daily at letting go of the pain and fear about not having enough. I was tired of working so hard at being happy without having enough. Actually, most of the time I was happy. I had found my soul in poverty. But now that I had my soul and my self, I wanted some money too.
While I sat in the car trying to compose myself, I heard God speak to me in that silent, still voice that whispers gently to our souls.
"You don't ever have to worry about money again, child. Not unless you want to. I told you that I would take care of you. And I will."
Great, I thought. Thanks a lot. I believe you. I trust you. But look around. I have no money. I have no food. And the food shelf is closed. You've let me down.
Again I heard His voice in my soul: "You don't have to worry about money again. You don't have to be afraid. I promised to meet all your needs.
I went home, called a friend, and asked to borrow some money. I hated borrowing, but I had no choice. My breakdown in the car was a release, but it didn't solve a thing - that day. There was no check in the mailbox.
But I got food for the day. And the next day. And the next. Within six months, my income doubled. Within nine months, it tripled. Since that day, I have had hard times, but I have never had to go without - not for more than a moment in time.
Now, I have enough. Sometimes I still worry about money because that seems to be habitual. But now I know I don't have to, and I know I never did.
God, help me work hard at what I believe is right for me in my life today, and I'll trust You for the rest. Help me let go of my fears about money. Help me turn that area over to You. God. Take away the blocks and barriers in my life to financial success.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
David is very much one who thinks there is never enough money or things and can be "stingy"..to my way of thinking. And I am at the other extreme who thinks that "here today, gone tomorrow, easy come, easy go"
He worries. I don't.
The best path is somewhere in the middle.
He talked to a neighbor who had some used tools for sale yesterday. They were over priced but he told her that he would have to talk with me first. I told him good, that was more true than he knew because I do not want to buy any tools at this time..that can wait. We can postpone that and I do still believe in certain principles about sacrifice and that I wanted to sacrifice this want in order to help Danny in his need.
Now, I know he would like to just hold onto the money period. and use it for upcoming bills.
But if I can't help those I love when they need it, I have a problem with that.
But I do cut myself short all too often.
So, there is a solution to be worked out here.
I really have to get some unpacking and re-arranging done today as I have an in home visit from my case manager tomorrow.
He worries. I don't.
The best path is somewhere in the middle.
He talked to a neighbor who had some used tools for sale yesterday. They were over priced but he told her that he would have to talk with me first. I told him good, that was more true than he knew because I do not want to buy any tools at this time..that can wait. We can postpone that and I do still believe in certain principles about sacrifice and that I wanted to sacrifice this want in order to help Danny in his need.
Now, I know he would like to just hold onto the money period. and use it for upcoming bills.
But if I can't help those I love when they need it, I have a problem with that.
But I do cut myself short all too often.
So, there is a solution to be worked out here.
I really have to get some unpacking and re-arranging done today as I have an in home visit from my case manager tomorrow.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Money is such a non-issue with me, it makes me wonder if that's something that will come up haha. I mean, I stress when the bills arent paid like anyone, but its been a long long time since I was afraid of being homeless or starving.
"The baby" is dealing with another death, her bfs aunt was driving a car and crashed, killing her life partner. She is fond of both women, I hurt for her.
We are gearing up for a pretty nifty and different thanksgiving here at my house, I am excited.
I am tired of emotional upheaval. I have much to be grateful for, and am. I look forward to the day my skin stops crawling.
I am going to orientation dec 11 at the no-kill shelter to be a volunteer
"The baby" is dealing with another death, her bfs aunt was driving a car and crashed, killing her life partner. She is fond of both women, I hurt for her.
We are gearing up for a pretty nifty and different thanksgiving here at my house, I am excited.
I am tired of emotional upheaval. I have much to be grateful for, and am. I look forward to the day my skin stops crawling.
I am going to orientation dec 11 at the no-kill shelter to be a volunteer
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Live)) - glad you and David were able to discuss the tool situation, rather than him just going and getting them.
((Lisa)) - so sorry the baby is dealing with another death How awesome that you are going to be a volunteer at the shelter. There are so many things I'd love to be able to volunteer with, but there's just no time, right now.
I've gotten 3 more assignments done, have 5 left and I'm DONE! Got two more grades, and they were both 100 I'm preparing they're not ALL going to be that good, as the stuff gets harder, but I've certainly set a good foundation and I just may make the Dean's list, after all. It's not something I am going to be devastated if I don't make it, but it's a goal and right now, it seems accessible.
I'm going to have to set a boundary about Thanksgiving. What dad has planned, I want no part of. I think it will be my only day off for at least 2 weeks, so I plan on just staying home and getting some rest. I don't really want any confrontation, but I know what I want and what is best for me, so I will stand my ground, thanks to all of you who have helped me get to this point!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
((Lisa)) - so sorry the baby is dealing with another death
How awesome that you are going to be a volunteer at the shelter. There are so many things I'd love to be able to volunteer with, but there's just no time, right now.I've gotten 3 more assignments done, have 5 left and I'm DONE! Got two more grades, and they were both 100
I'm preparing they're not ALL going to be that good, as the stuff gets harder, but I've certainly set a good foundation and I just may make the Dean's list, after all. It's not something I am going to be devastated if I don't make it, but it's a goal and right now, it seems accessible.I'm going to have to set a boundary about Thanksgiving. What dad has planned, I want no part of. I think it will be my only day off for at least 2 weeks, so I plan on just staying home and getting some rest. I don't really want any confrontation, but I know what I want and what is best for me, so I will stand my ground, thanks to all of you who have helped me get to this point!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Monday, November 22, 2010
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
The Magic of Gratitude and Acceptance
Gratitude and acceptance are two magic tricks available to us in recovery. No matter who we are, where we are, or what we have, gratitude and acceptance work.
We may eventually become so happy that we realize our present circumstances are good. Or we master our present circumstances and then move forward into the next set of circumstances.
If we become stuck, miserable, feeling trapped and hopeless, try gratitude and acceptance. If we have tried unsuccessfully to alter our present circumstances and have begun to feel like we're beating our head against a brick wall, try gratitude and acceptance.
If we feel like all is dark and the night will never end, try gratitude and acceptance.
If we feel scared and uncertain, try gratitude and acceptance.
If we've tried everything else and nothing seems to work, try gratitude and acceptance.
If we've been fighting something, try gratitude and acceptance.
When all else fails, go back to the basics.
Gratitude and acceptance work.
Today, God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a circumstance will stop hurting so much if I accept it. I will practice the basics of gratitude and acceptance in my life, and for all my present circumstances.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
The Magic of Gratitude and Acceptance
Gratitude and acceptance are two magic tricks available to us in recovery. No matter who we are, where we are, or what we have, gratitude and acceptance work.
We may eventually become so happy that we realize our present circumstances are good. Or we master our present circumstances and then move forward into the next set of circumstances.
If we become stuck, miserable, feeling trapped and hopeless, try gratitude and acceptance. If we have tried unsuccessfully to alter our present circumstances and have begun to feel like we're beating our head against a brick wall, try gratitude and acceptance.
If we feel like all is dark and the night will never end, try gratitude and acceptance.
If we feel scared and uncertain, try gratitude and acceptance.
If we've tried everything else and nothing seems to work, try gratitude and acceptance.
If we've been fighting something, try gratitude and acceptance.
When all else fails, go back to the basics.
Gratitude and acceptance work.
Today, God, help me let go of my resistance. Help me know the pain of a circumstance will stop hurting so much if I accept it. I will practice the basics of gratitude and acceptance in my life, and for all my present circumstances.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Another reading, just in time. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster..one day I'm full of acceptance and gratitude, the next doubts and fears come back. Doesn't help that I quit smoking, again, and that just makes me irritable for a few days.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Hey Guys - prayers & HUGS to each of you ~
Life is trying to be full of chaos, drama and insanity ~ doing my best to keep it from controlling me . . .
Made it thru the funeral last week, my step-son (Mr. PINK Acres youngest son) is TRULY doing what non-recovery addicts do - manipulating, controlling, threatening and drug usage is out of control!!!
Friday nite got a call from my hubby's ex (his son's mom) saying "the best thing yall can do is pack a bag and get out of town for the wkend - you've got about 30 mins"
I asked her did she have the granddaughter & THANK GOD she did!!
So we left the house for a couple of hours - no sense in waiting around for a fight - then we left the next morning (we actually already had plans to go out of town anyway)
Now of course, his mom is saying she never said any of this and that the son never threatened us; that we need to stop being so mean to her son and since I know so much about this disease ~ I need to get him some help & she doesn't know why I won't help him.
Good Gravy ~ can you hear the dysfunction?????
By God's Grace - Mr PINK Acres & I are still on the same page about all this - he has been to a few of the al-anon meetings and also talked to a few recovery friends - so we both agree about our stand point - but it does put some serious pressure ~ praying we can stand firm together - know it is difficult.
I don't like being scared again - lots of flashbacks for me ~ makes me very uncomfortable. Step-son is a very violent man, especially when using and doesn't get his way.
So just breathing, praying and using all those recovery tools - One Minute at a time
PINK HUGS to all!!
Rita
Life is trying to be full of chaos, drama and insanity ~ doing my best to keep it from controlling me . . .
Made it thru the funeral last week, my step-son (Mr. PINK Acres youngest son) is TRULY doing what non-recovery addicts do - manipulating, controlling, threatening and drug usage is out of control!!!
Friday nite got a call from my hubby's ex (his son's mom) saying "the best thing yall can do is pack a bag and get out of town for the wkend - you've got about 30 mins"
I asked her did she have the granddaughter & THANK GOD she did!!
So we left the house for a couple of hours - no sense in waiting around for a fight - then we left the next morning (we actually already had plans to go out of town anyway)
Now of course, his mom is saying she never said any of this and that the son never threatened us; that we need to stop being so mean to her son and since I know so much about this disease ~ I need to get him some help & she doesn't know why I won't help him.
Good Gravy ~ can you hear the dysfunction?????
By God's Grace - Mr PINK Acres & I are still on the same page about all this - he has been to a few of the al-anon meetings and also talked to a few recovery friends - so we both agree about our stand point - but it does put some serious pressure ~ praying we can stand firm together - know it is difficult.
I don't like being scared again - lots of flashbacks for me ~ makes me very uncomfortable. Step-son is a very violent man, especially when using and doesn't get his way.
So just breathing, praying and using all those recovery tools - One Minute at a time
PINK HUGS to all!!
Rita
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Rita))) - awwww, sweetie, I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this. I'm glad you and Mr. Pink are on the same page. Please be safe.
I just completed my computer class - 24 days early Still have a lot of grades to wait on, but the work is done. My power-point presentations were a LOVELY one on Canada, and another on tropical islands. Made me want to go to both places!
Tess says it's snowing/sleeting out in Seattle, we had 70 degrees today. I think I'll stick to MY weather and add it to my gratitude list.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I just completed my computer class - 24 days early
Still have a lot of grades to wait on, but the work is done. My power-point presentations were a LOVELY one on Canada, and another on tropical islands. Made me want to go to both places!Tess says it's snowing/sleeting out in Seattle, we had 70 degrees today. I think I'll stick to MY weather and add it to my gratitude list.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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