cat1961

I woke up (kinda) after about two hours asleep just as the birds started chirping which was a distraction in itself. I couldn't lay in bed any longer with the anxiety/heart racing issues, shakes and overall gut wrenching feeling so I got up and jumped on here.

I was freaking out this morning cuz I have a meeting with my case worker for food benefits and felt that I couldn't face her today. But am thinking of it further and feel I have to do this in order to get food benefits and perhaps she may have some solutions for "free" counceling! Worth a shot, right?

I also located the AA meetings here and there just happens to be one about 1.5 miles from me at 5:00 today.

Getting out of the house will be a positive thing for me since I'm such a loner and don't really know anybody here. I find that loneliness and depression are a perfect combination that can lead to drinking. I'll be passing up many beer stops on my journeys today but am NOT going to give in. I've made my decision these last couple of days thanks to all you fine people here.

So, today I'm going out on my bike for these appts and make a positive effort to get in touch with people SOBER. I've been hiding from people the last couple months as I sit in my room working on my computer and sucking down beers. And since the last couple of weeks I've been drinking before work. I've been avoiding any personal contact there as well for obvious reasons.

Today is a new day and although my body is still going through serious withdrawals, it's going to be a good day!

What sucks is that I'm such an emotional person that it's going to be hard to hold back the tears (like right now).

Wish me luck!

Murray4x5

Have a Great, Great Day, cat1961 - we are all behind you

Murray

cat1961

Now if I can keep some food down before going out in this heat, I'll be set!

least

Broth and toast are easy foods for your stomach. Good for you all on your sobriety.

lyddie

Cat1961 - drink lots of water. Also fruit if you can keep it down.

CarolD

Cat....
Sounds as though you have a productive day planned.
Good for you.....

AA is my choice of recovery programs
I'm glad you are checking out a meeting.
Let me know if you have any questions ...k?

I get U.S. Food Benefits too....how they decide
on the ammount is still a mystry to me!
Something to do with my limited income and
the Gross National Product + what state you live in.


I've been awarded as little as $4 monthly
up to $120. Just now it's $80 so I buy
a lot of fresh veggies and fruits.
Think healthy eating Cat.....
You may not be getting on the same program
I'm on anyway...I could be way off base.

Looking forward to your next check in

cat1961

Back from the Human Services Dept after forcing down a piece of toast. The appt went well after sweatin my tush off on the bike about 3 miles. Of course the cry baby I am broke down when the Worker got on the topic of housing and had to tell her the relapse story and housing issues. She gave me some good information to research on affordable housing so that did set my stomach at ease. BTW - I get $200 a month and probably have close to $300 in there since I haven't been buying much food - only beer every day.

Rode past only four carry outs and was a good feeling that I did NOT have the urge to drop in for a daily 12 pk strapped on my bike.

In an hour I'm heading off to my first AA Meeting and won't bother putting my make up back on cuz I know I'll be balling my eyes out.

Finally, it is so true about exercise and recovery. I really did feel better when I got home!

Thanks for listenin!

cat1961

Great update on the Day 10 Murray!

And yes, over the years of my drinking I had observed how long it takes a social drinker to put one down. I'd match at least two to their one and unless they have a cooler cup.... . However, the last couple weeks I'd have my last beer next to the bed with some left over and immediately grab it when I woke up. I guess that's more disgusting.

Nice to hear of your progress!

justjo

I like reading your updates

cat1961

Went to my 1st meeting with about 30 people and found it so inspiring to be in a room with that many Alkis that are holding strong! I received a chip for my 24 hours and it was a great feeling that there were so many people excited for me. This will become a habit of mine.

I got home after passing by a few more beer signs that made me want to puke by the thought of drinking..... but just smiled going on by

Ate the last of my roast then topped it off with an ice cream sundae. I was hopping the whipped cream wasn't growing any fuzzy stuff on it since I haven't been in the frig except for fetchin my beers.

I'm going to clean out the frig and after work tomorrow go Krogering and will be able to get a few extra things since I won't have a 12 pk strapped to my rack.

AND I'm home alone for a few days. All the roomies are gone and I'm stuck here in this 5 BR Victorian. Kinda freaks me out cuz I'm still hearing things and think there's someone upstairs!!!

Now the last thing on the agenda is to get sleep tonight! My body should be recovered for work and will be a nice day since I'm not going to work half ripped.

Thanks again for everyone's support here!

lyddie

Congratulations Cat on your good day.

My Day 12 is almost over. Getting close to graduating from this thread and looking forward to it.

cat1961

Why lyddie? You don't like it here? just kidding

But thank you very much I was happy to get things accomplished and not be hiding and slammin down a 12 pack today.

I am to the point now that I could probably go to sleep and actually get up for work tomorrow. Since I'm only runnin on two hours from last night, you'd think my body is ready to shut down.

And so happy that the shakes, chills, cold sweats, heart pounding and nausea has subsided!!! In two days!!!

OH and was taking 2000mg of B12 a day and LOTS of water.

Take care everyone and day three just around the corner.

cat1961

Waking up to day 3 and don't feel to terrible, just a little shaky, fogginess upstairs and some hot flashes. I could describe the feeling as a mild hangover today.

But at least I got about six hours of sleep but my eyes can't seem to focus. And the highlight to the morning is that I don't have the urge to crack open a beer.

I'll be happy when I can wake up like a normal person again.

Time to get ready for work.

lyddie

Hey Cat - I am just a few days ahead of you and I am still feeling foggy and disoriented for awhile in the morning. A couple of people have said that it might take 3 weeks for sleeping to become normal. Thinking of you on your Day 3.

Bonbon3

I've made it to day 4 yipppeee. Thank you Larkspur I'm going to get some sparkling water and fruit juice. That's a great idea. I think I just need a new habit and that would be a good one to pick up. I started dinner way early yesterday and then took a walk during the normal dinner hour so changing things up does seem to help.

Murray4x5

Day 12;

My headaches after dinner are a thing of the past, but I'm still having trouble sleeping; yesterday I was so dog tired after work I had to have a one hour nap.

There are soooooooo many things to be done around the house, things I've let slide over the last couple years. I'm trying not to get stressed out by looking at the whole picture, but am trying to get them done slowly, one at a time. I keep reminding myself that it took years for things to unravel, so I should give myself a break and ease slowly back into renovating and cleaning things up.

Two more days until I join the "under 30 days" thread

Murray

rubycanoe

well, I am starting again, I don't have a really bad alcohol problem but it seems to be heading that way . so yesterday was my last day to drink/quit date. trying sobriety again and will try to come here again as so many helpful people here with the same issues. I also need to go back to al-anon as so many a's and recovering addicts in my family.

Bonbon3

Hi Ruby....welcome back.

Murray, I know exactly how you feel. It got me to thinking, it's amazing how I always felt I had no time for me. No time to get anything done, yet I would pour myself a glass of wine at 5:30 and drink until 10:00 pm so obviously I had time for that. Now that I'm not drinking I'm looking around the house going geez I've let everything go. I'm slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwly doing one project at a time and not looking at the big picture or I will freak out and I don't want to do that and pick up a drink. Good luck with your projects!

thirtybubba

Hi Ruby, welcome back.

And congrats to Lyddie and Cat and Bonbon and whoever else I may have missed... its rough, it takes effort and it does get better.

Fairly soon, too--I have no "long term sobriety" behind me, and already, what y'all describe reminds me of past days.

I'm just ahead of y'all, sorry I didn't stop in a couple weeks ago, but I wasn't sure it'd stick. I've been in this thread a few times. Now I've got 25 days (if I did the math right... June 19).

Hi Carol :wavey

Take care y'all,
TB

cat1961

Hi Everybody!

Murray, don't freak out over the projects - they're not going anywhere. One day at a time my friend!

My day was hot as a firecracker working outside but got r done. Boss & I arranged a lot of plants to provide a more warming approach to the shop. He was very pleased with my performance btw. Wonder if he noticed I wasn't hammered today! Naw, I don't think anyone noticed the last couple weeks - Thank GOD!

After work got groceries which is such a production on a bike! The brewski aisle was still there and walked right by...... I got my floors done and doing laundry now including the bedding. How nice to get into a fresh bed! OH and just made a fruit smoothie. Wish I woulda had one of these suckers a couple days ago.

Feeling much better and am confident I'll get a good nights sleep. Picked up some sleepy time tea Day 3 coming to an end....

Hang in there everyone and congrats on all the sobriety!