Living in Sobriety Part 8
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
scardey...so sorry about your sponsor.
Liz.....I agree with you. we are all doing the best we can today. Lets all celebrate each other.
Bee..good on ya getting that grass done. I will tackle mine tomorrow if I get an hour or two rain free.
Stone enjoy home group tonight!!
Well nelco survived the journey from hospital without putting sponsee's head through window........progress not perfection right???
SERIOUSLY though,..... I had to work hard on not melting a few times today, she put a face on, just like my yorkie does and I almost melted ....BUT..... I told her there are people who want it and people who need it and I am not sure which she is. I told her to have a think about that tonight and if she is serious about her recovery give me a ring. Told her to lose toxic man and hash!! We stopped at the grocery store picked up some supplies food wise and I dropped her at her house. i have been here before with sponsees but it does not get any easier driving off..... but as you said earlier Rowan, I can only carry the message. Thank God because an alcoholic has a heavy load and I dont want to carry that stuff. I have a big business to mind here. My own business!!!
anyway I stopped off at the vets and got worm tablets for my cats............lovely, but has to be done.
And another sponsee rang ......full of joy and gratitude, so that was a nice balance.
Going to relax tonight. long bath. soft music. and hang out with family and you peeps for a bit. xxxxx
Liz.....I agree with you. we are all doing the best we can today. Lets all celebrate each other.
Bee..good on ya getting that grass done. I will tackle mine tomorrow if I get an hour or two rain free.
Stone enjoy home group tonight!!
Well nelco survived the journey from hospital without putting sponsee's head through window........progress not perfection right???
SERIOUSLY though,..... I had to work hard on not melting a few times today, she put a face on, just like my yorkie does and I almost melted ....BUT..... I told her there are people who want it and people who need it and I am not sure which she is. I told her to have a think about that tonight and if she is serious about her recovery give me a ring. Told her to lose toxic man and hash!! We stopped at the grocery store picked up some supplies food wise and I dropped her at her house. i have been here before with sponsees but it does not get any easier driving off..... but as you said earlier Rowan, I can only carry the message. Thank God because an alcoholic has a heavy load and I dont want to carry that stuff. I have a big business to mind here. My own business!!!
anyway I stopped off at the vets and got worm tablets for my cats............lovely, but has to be done.
And another sponsee rang ......full of joy and gratitude, so that was a nice balance.
Going to relax tonight. long bath. soft music. and hang out with family and you peeps for a bit. xxxxx
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
I'm glad this part of it is over for you Nel, I worry because you have such a kind heart that some take advantage of you. Glad your other sponsee called, what different ends of the spectrum you have with both of them. Enjoy your bath. My body is very achy and I feel very tired but its only 4:00 here so I can't go to bed just yet.
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Oh Tanya, I got that checklist I was talking about. We use it as a guide for the newcomers at the beginners Checklist Meeting on Friday nights. Here goes it, very long.
1. FIRST DRINK GETS YOU DRUNK
I always thought it was the (8th or 9th etc) drink that got me drunk
It's the 1st Drink
If I do not pick up the first drink...its IMPOSSIBLE for me to get drunk.
2. DON'T DRINK AND GO TO A MEETING
(Do I understand what this means?) This is a short way AA's say
"This is the first commitment we make in A.A.
DON'T DRINK AND GO TO MEETINGS IS NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE
CONTINUOUS SOBRIETY.
3. LETS TALK ABOUT MEETINGS
(WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEETINGS)
There are several basic types of meetings:
BIG BOOK - Learn the AA Program & How it Works.
TRADITION - Learn how the AA Fellowship is run.
STEP - Help with the 12 Steps of Recovery.
SPEAKER - Learn to listen & identify the problem.
DISCUSSION - Learn HOW to share your Experience, Strength & Hope.
STUDY - Education of the information found in AA literature.
4. WHY...90 MEETINGS IN 90 DAYS
Questions that you will be able to answer at the end of the period:
Am I an Alcoholic? Do I understand my Disease? Do I have a desire to stop drinking?
Do I want to join the Fellowship? Am I willing to work the AA Program the AA way?
5. WHY...FIND A HOME GROUP
Criteria for a good Home Group:
You feel welcome & part of the group.
The Group provides several different types of meetings.
You have a place to learn & follow the Program.
You have an over all feeling that the Group is run the AA way.
The Group has a willingness to carry the message.
You have a place where you will be able to give service.
You have a place where you can receive STABILITY, FELLOWSHIP & COMMITMENT
You have a place to celebrate your sobriety.
6. WHY...GET A SPONSOR
Good requirements for a sponsor:
Have a minimum of 1 Year continuous sobriety.
Have completed their Steps.
The same sex
Someone you feel is worthy of your trust.
Someone with whom you may share confidential information.
Someone who IS working the 12 Steps in their life.
Someone who is willing to help you work and understand the 12 Steps.
Someone who will help you develop the structure in YOUR program.
Someone from whom YOU WILL be willing to take suggestions.
Someone you can go to a meeting with at least once a week.
7. H.A.L.T. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
Hungry, Angry, Lonely & Tired
WHY IS HALT IMPORTANT?
8. GET ACTIVE...WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
Arrive at meetings early & stay after in order to develop a feeling of belonging..
Work on becoming part of the Fellowship
Join a Home Group. Learn how AA works
Attend Business Meetings
Pick up chairs, tables, cups, books, etc.
Volunteer for set-up before the meeting; clean up after the meeting.
Talk with your fellow AA members
Clean up the smoking area. Do what is needed.
Support to the Groups activities
GO ON speaking commitments with your Group.
Share your experience at a meeting.
9. BE WILLING TO TAKE DIRECTION
Remain Teachable...Willingness is the key.
Pride and Ego will get you drunk every time.
Remember we need to learn new ways to:
"Deal with Life on Life's Terms."
10.DO I UNDERSTAND?
"This is a Spiritual Progam - NOT a Religious Program"
If you are having trouble with the concept of a
"Higher Power" or "The God of your understanding"
One thing that may help you is to recognize YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN "HIGHER POWER"
11.WHAT IS THE PREAMBLE? Where is it found?
WHAT ARE THE 12 STEPS? Why are the Steps important?
WHY HAVE THE TRADITIONS? Why study them?
HOW DOES IT WORK? Where is it found?
12. HOW DOES ONE DAY AT A TIME HELP ME?
The secret to sobriety is that we learn to stay sober
"24 Hours at a Time."
Sometimes we may have to break up our day into shorter periods of time. The key is that we make a commitment to our sobriety for 24 hours..
Not the rest of our lives. We can start, or re-start our "24" hours at anytime during the day. Our "24" hours do not run from midnight to midnight.
13.AM I TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY DISEASE?
WE MUST ACCEPT the responsibility for our disease.
I do not get sober and stay sober alone. It is a WE program. We stay sober with the help of our Higher Power, the Program and the Fellowship.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY SOBRIETY. No one can make me pick up a drink. In order to stay sober, I must get honest with myself.
If I am getting sober for other people, places or things, at some point THEY are going to disappoint me and create resentments. This will lead me back to the bottle.
What am I doing to stay sober?
14.EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SHOULD HAVE:
A plan for the next meeting they will attend.
A Big Book....A Step Book...A Sponsor & A Higher Power
Actually... This is NOT good enough.
You SHOULD BE reading the Big Book & the Step Book
Listening and Doing what your Sponsor suggests and
Talking to your Higher Power
What everyone in this room needs each day to work on their recovery is:
H.O.W. = Personal Honesty...Openness...Willingness
Remember there are no Stupid Questions in AA
1. FIRST DRINK GETS YOU DRUNK
I always thought it was the (8th or 9th etc) drink that got me drunk
It's the 1st Drink
If I do not pick up the first drink...its IMPOSSIBLE for me to get drunk.
2. DON'T DRINK AND GO TO A MEETING
(Do I understand what this means?) This is a short way AA's say
"This is the first commitment we make in A.A.
DON'T DRINK AND GO TO MEETINGS IS NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE
CONTINUOUS SOBRIETY.
3. LETS TALK ABOUT MEETINGS
(WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF MEETINGS)
There are several basic types of meetings:
BIG BOOK - Learn the AA Program & How it Works.
TRADITION - Learn how the AA Fellowship is run.
STEP - Help with the 12 Steps of Recovery.
SPEAKER - Learn to listen & identify the problem.
DISCUSSION - Learn HOW to share your Experience, Strength & Hope.
STUDY - Education of the information found in AA literature.
4. WHY...90 MEETINGS IN 90 DAYS
Questions that you will be able to answer at the end of the period:
Am I an Alcoholic? Do I understand my Disease? Do I have a desire to stop drinking?
Do I want to join the Fellowship? Am I willing to work the AA Program the AA way?
5. WHY...FIND A HOME GROUP
Criteria for a good Home Group:
You feel welcome & part of the group.
The Group provides several different types of meetings.
You have a place to learn & follow the Program.
You have an over all feeling that the Group is run the AA way.
The Group has a willingness to carry the message.
You have a place where you will be able to give service.
You have a place where you can receive STABILITY, FELLOWSHIP & COMMITMENT
You have a place to celebrate your sobriety.
6. WHY...GET A SPONSOR
Good requirements for a sponsor:
Have a minimum of 1 Year continuous sobriety.
Have completed their Steps.
The same sex
Someone you feel is worthy of your trust.
Someone with whom you may share confidential information.
Someone who IS working the 12 Steps in their life.
Someone who is willing to help you work and understand the 12 Steps.
Someone who will help you develop the structure in YOUR program.
Someone from whom YOU WILL be willing to take suggestions.
Someone you can go to a meeting with at least once a week.
7. H.A.L.T. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
Hungry, Angry, Lonely & Tired
WHY IS HALT IMPORTANT?
8. GET ACTIVE...WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
Arrive at meetings early & stay after in order to develop a feeling of belonging..
Work on becoming part of the Fellowship
Join a Home Group. Learn how AA works
Attend Business Meetings
Pick up chairs, tables, cups, books, etc.
Volunteer for set-up before the meeting; clean up after the meeting.
Talk with your fellow AA members
Clean up the smoking area. Do what is needed.
Support to the Groups activities
GO ON speaking commitments with your Group.
Share your experience at a meeting.
9. BE WILLING TO TAKE DIRECTION
Remain Teachable...Willingness is the key.
Pride and Ego will get you drunk every time.
Remember we need to learn new ways to:
"Deal with Life on Life's Terms."
10.DO I UNDERSTAND?
"This is a Spiritual Progam - NOT a Religious Program"
If you are having trouble with the concept of a
"Higher Power" or "The God of your understanding"
One thing that may help you is to recognize YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN "HIGHER POWER"
11.WHAT IS THE PREAMBLE? Where is it found?
WHAT ARE THE 12 STEPS? Why are the Steps important?
WHY HAVE THE TRADITIONS? Why study them?
HOW DOES IT WORK? Where is it found?
12. HOW DOES ONE DAY AT A TIME HELP ME?
The secret to sobriety is that we learn to stay sober
"24 Hours at a Time."
Sometimes we may have to break up our day into shorter periods of time. The key is that we make a commitment to our sobriety for 24 hours..
Not the rest of our lives. We can start, or re-start our "24" hours at anytime during the day. Our "24" hours do not run from midnight to midnight.
13.AM I TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY DISEASE?
WE MUST ACCEPT the responsibility for our disease.
I do not get sober and stay sober alone. It is a WE program. We stay sober with the help of our Higher Power, the Program and the Fellowship.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY SOBRIETY. No one can make me pick up a drink. In order to stay sober, I must get honest with myself.
If I am getting sober for other people, places or things, at some point THEY are going to disappoint me and create resentments. This will lead me back to the bottle.
What am I doing to stay sober?
14.EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SHOULD HAVE:
A plan for the next meeting they will attend.
A Big Book....A Step Book...A Sponsor & A Higher Power
Actually... This is NOT good enough.
You SHOULD BE reading the Big Book & the Step Book
Listening and Doing what your Sponsor suggests and
Talking to your Higher Power
What everyone in this room needs each day to work on their recovery is:
H.O.W. = Personal Honesty...Openness...Willingness
Remember there are no Stupid Questions in AA
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Just a "drive by" like Rust does I suppose..
Thanks for missing me Sis! I was wondering where you went off to..
Very good too Nelcs is back! Yay!
Me?
A lot of problems...since this is a positive thread..I feel I can't go into them here...
I have found my old place back in another thread..it is true, SR has something for
everyone, at all times. And I need that one..now. My butt is hanging off.
Thank God for my program, my sponsor, and SR.
And Barb..
I am so very sorry about your sponsor. Prayers for your comfort and peace, and for
sponsor's family.. :praying:
Carry on LIS beloved peeps.
Thanks for missing me Sis! I was wondering where you went off to..
Very good too Nelcs is back! Yay!
Me?
A lot of problems...since this is a positive thread..I feel I can't go into them here...
I have found my old place back in another thread..it is true, SR has something for
everyone, at all times. And I need that one..now. My butt is hanging off.
Thank God for my program, my sponsor, and SR.
And Barb..
I am so very sorry about your sponsor. Prayers for your comfort and peace, and for
sponsor's family.. :praying:
Carry on LIS beloved peeps.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Didn't enjoy my meeting as much as usual tonight, the guy who was "in the chair" (shares first and for about 30 mins), annoyed me with his attitude, sort of pontificating.
I am off balance today, I need to find my centre again.
I am off balance today, I need to find my centre again.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Babes! :ghug3:
Pontificating..schmontificating.."take what you need and leave the rest"...
you knew I would say this...uh huh.. lol.
I don't like pontificating either...just try to find something that helped you.
Nap time..very tired.
Blessings.
Pontificating..schmontificating.."take what you need and leave the rest"...
you knew I would say this...uh huh.. lol.
I don't like pontificating either...just try to find something that helped you.
Nap time..very tired.
Blessings.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
I know it is me that isn't right when people like that annoy me, on another day he wouldn't have bothered me, you know?
I just didn't feel like myself tonight, I wasn't connected. I am off-beam but taking it as a good sign that I am aware of it.
I just didn't feel like myself tonight, I wasn't connected. I am off-beam but taking it as a good sign that I am aware of it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I don't like pontificates either. But Sher is right - take what you need, leave the rest. Yeah, it's good that you are aware of being off the beam, Stone.
Sher et al I must apologize re the planting corn comment you all must think I am nuts - it's just an expression. Say I'm sorting through files at work and a lawyer comes by and says 'whaddyer doin?' and I might say 'planting corn' in other words what does it look like I am doing?
So - I was being sarcastic, as I am wont to do these days.
Still tweaking these meds and it's getting very tiresome. Having some bad days. Sounds like ur having some tough times too, Sis, and I am sorry for that.
I am glad to be home and in bed. Watching some tube online and will go to sleep eventually, I hope. Going to the doctor's yet again tomorrow, but I'm going to have to continue to be patient with my mental health, such as it is.
It was humid today so I will wait until tomorrow to cut the grass - it should be considerably cooler by then.
Sher et al I must apologize re the planting corn comment you all must think I am nuts - it's just an expression. Say I'm sorting through files at work and a lawyer comes by and says 'whaddyer doin?' and I might say 'planting corn' in other words what does it look like I am doing?
So - I was being sarcastic, as I am wont to do these days.
Still tweaking these meds and it's getting very tiresome. Having some bad days. Sounds like ur having some tough times too, Sis, and I am sorry for that.
I am glad to be home and in bed. Watching some tube online and will go to sleep eventually, I hope. Going to the doctor's yet again tomorrow, but I'm going to have to continue to be patient with my mental health, such as it is.
It was humid today so I will wait until tomorrow to cut the grass - it should be considerably cooler by then.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Post padding here, I guess. Stoney, I'm with you today...feeling a bit "off". I think I know why though (long story and boring so I'll not go into it). Suffice it to say, that I am TRYING to "accept the things I cannot change". Way easier said than done, though.
No one's up yet? See ya later then. Gonna go grab a cup of coffee.
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