Believe808

That's good you are facing the feelings Stone and sharing about it.

My son just returned my phone call. Thank you God.

Believe808

Me too, Scaredy. MG won the title back and I can't get her score to save my life. I keep trying though.

Have fun, I made coffee this morning at my meeting. Love you bunches.

stone

Phew!

Rowan

I'm glad he phoned, Bee. What a relief, I know.

Hey Stoney - you have shared before about feeling 'off' mentally - but I'm glad to see you do so again. Is it too late to call your sponsor now? I think it's important to talk these things out with someone while we are able. Just from my experience (and VIP guest experience in the nuthouse). I shared at a meeting about my nuthouse experience and a couple of new people looked a little frightened of me. I like scaring people. LOL My biggest fear while drinking was that I was crazy - and now that I'm sober - I know that I'm crazy, and it's a bit of a comfort.

So! House is clean - just waiting for daughter to shower then we are going to hit the grocery store and pick up a bag of firewood. Then home to ... pick up the dog ****. There ain't much, thankfully. I ran over most of it with the mower yesterday. And soon .. it will be dark. LOL

Believe808

maybe give plastic booties for over the shoes!

Rowan

Nahhhhhhhh I'll get most of it.

Too bad no one drinks - or they might not notice.

HA the friend who has a beautiful house and yard? she isn't coming now! DOH!

Believe808

That's one less worry for you. I would still want the baggies

Rowan

Jeez. where on earth would I get baggies for feet? I coulda stole some from the hospital but I wasn't thinking that far ahead.

Believe808

Have a good time Ro, you deserve it. Bet your daughter is getting excited, huh.

Rowan

Yeah she is. Just did her hair. i'm getting old cuz I'm just gonna put on a hat LOL

thanks Bee talk to you soon off to get food and supplies.

nelco

Hope it goes really well for you Rowan. It sounds like a lot of fun!!

stone

When we relax into our craziness it all gets much easier, lol.

I don't feel too bad, Ro. Just sharing about it before it does get bad, better than waiting until I am up the wall with it before sharing.

Too late to phone sponsor and it isn't urgent anyway. I will phone tomorrow and I have a back-up guy in case sponsor not available, lol.

I just had something to eat and feel a bit better actually, I wonder if it was just a blood sugar thing! Thing is I am bit antsy with it being 30+ days sober and the whole "mental blank spot" thing I have had going on for the last 6 months or more. Gonna post about that in the AA forum!

Believe808

Ro the hat will work!!! I wish I looked good in hats, but I look like a dork in them.

stone

That is me being light-hearted about it....it is more than that, I feel weird.

nelco

I hope you can talk to someone Stone and you feel better soon.

Believe808

Hope you peeps will be around tonight, cause I will be hanging around all by my lonesome.

Today was a real test for me and I believe I passed it. I have been praying all day and believe I have been given direction for my talk with my son. You see when I was using there were many demons inside of me and I too wanted to get rid of them. I see now that with his letter, he said the way to beat the demons was to kill them by killing himself, but I will tell him, that the way to beat those demons is by not letting them win. We are stronger than them as long as we have God in our hearts. I need to bring him back to his belief in God, he use to talk to God when he was younger but I think he has lost his path and needs his mom to guide him back again. I really am so grateful I have a program and a spiritual one at that, I think God wanted to let me know that I couldn't sit back anymore that I was well enough now to face his addiction and try to help him.

Believe808

Stone, I'm here if you need to talk.

nelco

I have to tell you Bee , that brought a tear to my eye. probably because I have a 22 year old boy also. We went to church together tonight. His dad was at the airport so my son collected me and we went in his car. That was nice. I tell him the stars dont light up by themselves and there is something bigger than all of us out there. I try to keep him awake to the beauty around him. He was racing off to his car the other night with a fag in his mouth lol and I called him and pointed out the beautiful sky. it was all reds and ambers. I do it since he was a baby pointing out rainbows and full moons. He knows there is a God, thats a start I think at that age. He prays to the God he understands.

Believe808

When my children are hurting, my heart aches with a pain that only a mother knows. We have been given these children to take care of and when they lose their way it is up to us to try to help them get back on the right path. I wasn't able to do that when in my addiction, but now I am and for that I am grateful. Never not once did I ever regret one thing with my children. I never thought such a deep love was even possible when I was younger. Even with his own addiction, it is his, I have no control over it, I can't make him stop, I can only share my own recovery with him, he has a HP of his own and he needs to find HP again.

Believe808

Where is everyone?