stone

Phew!



True. Hi Scoob.

scoob

Hi.

allport

How are you doing today Stone?

I hope that feeling of hopelessness has faded

least

Hey Stoney. I'm staying sober today despite dk's best efforts to drive me to drink! LOL! I"m extending my hand across the pond, grab on to it and hold on tight. I won't let you go!

stone

It is still the same day, I feel the same.

Hi Least, thanks.

keithj

Exactly. The baffling nature of alcoholism. Some would have you believe that it's because you are not ready, or you lack willingness, or you want to drink more than you want to stay sober. I say, bullsh*t. It's because you are an alcoholic and have lost the power of choice in taking a drink. Just like me. We are without defense.

Could read the jaywalker story in Chapter 3. It fits.

"There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish."

"But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out."

"And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea why he took that first drink than you have. Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot."

BB quotes from 1st Ed.

paulmh

So do you think that we can 12 step someone into being willing, or ready, Keith?

espresso

One Day at a time....with no days off - that's what I do
Good Luck with your appointment tomorrow. Check in then to see how you are.
:ghug3

keithj

Great question, Paul, and I honestly don't know. I seem to have far better luck working with wet guys than folks that have 'been around' for a while. A buddy of mine believes strongly in 'helping' someone find that desperation. His 12 step calls are a testament to that belief. Ouch.

stone

Hi Paul and Keith, yes I fit that description perfectly.

Hi Ess, one day at a time...in a row, yep.

I will post again tomorrow.

IO Storm

I recall ..when I relapsed in 2005..with alcohol after 8 years without a drink..I called my

adult son who lived in another city at the time from a parking lot at a video store. "I

relapsed, son..I'm drinking again, and can't seem to lay it down..why did I do it?"

He said.."Mom..it is what alcoholics do, and you are alcoholic." "Did you forget?"

"Stop beating yourself up..the question is, how are you going to stop?"

Stoney..

God forbid I would relapse again..I don't know if I'd risk putting myself out there..

on here..like you have. SR didn't used to be like this.

At least you keep coming back. No, not at least. It takes b***s to come back

time after time. You are a big boy, Stoney. You know the cost..the price of the

'slips'...I did. But I drank..the bender lasted a year, on and off. Baffled and confused.

I can't think of a better description. Keith is right...paulmh is right..you are right...

my son was right...everyone is right in part, I suppose.as far as right goes. The Big Book is

right when it said that bashing the active alkie is kicking a sick dog. It is cruel and of no benefit..

it only causes further harm. This should apply the more so to one who returns. No matter how

many times. Such is the spirit of SR.

So, I am glad you are back...very grateful!!!!!!

And that you have support here..you will always have it from me.

Off my soapbox now..and off to my business.

Love, to you and all other peeps today. :ghug2:

Sher

stone

Thanks Sher, I have a feeling there are hundreds of people who join SR and keep relapsing and stop posting or post very infrequently. There are a few like me who stay around.
I am done with this thread though, I will ask for it to be closed and will post around the boards and PM with people.

IO Storm

I respect your wishes..

Remember something else babes...always give compassion ..because you do know

what is like. You have a story...we all do.

And if you have a day, you can help a newbie with a couple of hours.

IO Storm

I respect your wishes..

Remember something else babes...always give compassion ..because you do know

what is like. You have a story...we all do.

And if you have a couple of days, you can help a newbie with a couple of hours.

stone

It is like some people "don't shoot the wounded" but they call them weak and not serious and moral failures...and forget the time when they couldn't stop themselves..they drive people away, I didn't expect it from the people who did it this time either so it hurt...a lot.

Imagine if people at AA meetings indulged in character assassination when people relapsed? They would never come back.

tanyapmc

It takes what it takes Stoney. It took A LOT for me to get clean and sober. As you know I ended up on a breathing machine in ICU for a week. I hope you don't have to go there or further. I hope you don't stay away from SR. I need you.

stone

Hi Tan, I have asked for the thread to be closed but I am not leaving SR.

IO Storm

Hi Tan..

It took so much for me too...liver disease, auto crashes, rehabs, ad infinitum..you know.

Stoney..all you can do is try. Promises are empty...futile, and defeating.

The Big Book itself talks about swearing oaths...they never work.

Keep coming back..trying. Don't leave before the miracle. All of these slogans I love

because they did finally come true for me. Keep trying..

FizzyWater

Stoney, I don't know much about AA or steps but I think I've been around long enough to have an opinion on how SR should work.

Far as I'm concerned the only requirement I have from folks here is that they have a desire to be sober.

They have that and they qualify for what little help I can be, not that I claim to be much of a help to anyone to be honest.

Its an internet recovery site, nothing more nothing less, if folks are looking for a reward for time invested in a person they are never likely to meet then they are in for a dissappointment.

We all get something back every time we log in, in my opinion, everyone is here because they have there own reason.

Stick with it mate, you'll get there.

least

WHY on earth do you want this thread closed??? Because you relapsed?? Silly reason, in my opinion. This is your recovery journal, right? Then journal, damn it. Please don't have it closed. That's admitting defeat, and you're not doing that, right? Please leave it open. You're feeling like sh!t right now, and rightfully so, but feelings can and will change. Please leave it open. I also depend on it for my own sobriety... if not for the chance to exchange pleasantries with you...

I'm hoping you won't close it. I'd miss it, and you too... This is your journal, so journal, damn it.

love and hugs from across the pond