Class of November Part 8
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Chris was drunk this morning....i woke him up obnoxiously and he is now down in bed....
I can't find my vacumm! have to wait till he wakes up to find it cause mom is of the impression (no i don't know why *hides*) that i vacumed yesterday....so i can't call and ask her where she put it!
tenatively planing my holiday for July 25 to August 8th. Won't ask off yet as not a good time work wise to be saying I'm off....but thats the plan
Do you know how good it feels to be sober in this new house? I mean jeee I was already living a pretty dmn good life 10 years ago...way better than what I expected in my 20s and 30s....Thank god i didn't drink last month....this beats the sht outa obsessing on the bottle and trying to avoid family and friends!
Even Nia is getting use to me being sober....now bodhi's just releaved to have the old me she knew back!
I can't find my vacumm! have to wait till he wakes up to find it cause mom is of the impression (no i don't know why *hides*) that i vacumed yesterday....so i can't call and ask her where she put it!
tenatively planing my holiday for July 25 to August 8th. Won't ask off yet as not a good time work wise to be saying I'm off....but thats the plan
Do you know how good it feels to be sober in this new house? I mean jeee I was already living a pretty dmn good life 10 years ago...way better than what I expected in my 20s and 30s....Thank god i didn't drink last month....this beats the sht outa obsessing on the bottle and trying to avoid family and friends!
Even Nia is getting use to me being sober....now bodhi's just releaved to have the old me she knew back!
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
More people die from home diy accidents each year in the UK, that die from taking ecstacy Jig! Careful with those shelves!
Pixy, I fought the brick wall for a long time. Every morning I started off with no intention to drink, and each night I was bewildered to find myself plastered ... again! And on it went for what felt like a very long time.
I never had days of sobriety like you guys have. I could never get thru 24 hours. Just getting thru the 8 hours at work was a white knuckle ride.
I never realised, until I read the AA big book, that alcoholics actually tried to stop drinking all the time. I thought that was what made me NOT an alcoholic - the fact that I was desperately trying to stop.
My last drink before AA was on a Friday, I was so sick on that Saturday I thought I was going to die, but if I hadn't been in that meeting on Sunday night, I would have had a drink in my hand by then. I'm not saying go to AA, but I am saying, get yourself some extra help sweets. We cannot do this alone. Alcohol will beat us every time.
Pixy, I fought the brick wall for a long time. Every morning I started off with no intention to drink, and each night I was bewildered to find myself plastered ... again! And on it went for what felt like a very long time.
I never had days of sobriety like you guys have. I could never get thru 24 hours. Just getting thru the 8 hours at work was a white knuckle ride.
I never realised, until I read the AA big book, that alcoholics actually tried to stop drinking all the time. I thought that was what made me NOT an alcoholic - the fact that I was desperately trying to stop.
My last drink before AA was on a Friday, I was so sick on that Saturday I thought I was going to die, but if I hadn't been in that meeting on Sunday night, I would have had a drink in my hand by then. I'm not saying go to AA, but I am saying, get yourself some extra help sweets. We cannot do this alone. Alcohol will beat us every time.
getting there
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
Basically what happened this time was that I was feeling I had to white-knuckle every single night for weeks. I finally just got tired of fighting it. I didn't go crazy or anything, I just wanted the obsession to stop (ironic, isn't it, that I thought drinking would do that?).
It's out of my system for the moment and I'm remembering how much better it is to be sober. I hate being so out of it that I can barely talk to people on the phone, don't remember what happened on TV shows, pass out on the couch with my clothes still on and unshowered, etc. I also don't get anything done and am just wasting away my free time.
I'm still pleased with my progress though... a year ago I was drinking pretty much every night. I think I just need to find a balance between being vigilant about not drinking and overthinking it. Also I can't focus on permanent sobriety, it just freaks me out. I haven't quite figured this out yet, but I'm working on it.
It would be so nice if I could just drink once every couple of months and then be done with it for awhile, but for some reason (gee, I wonder what it is!) I don't trust myself to do that.
Nands - a muffin top is when you wear jeans or other fitted clothing and your fat gets shoved up over the top of the waistline, hence making your midsection look like a muffin.
It's out of my system for the moment and I'm remembering how much better it is to be sober. I hate being so out of it that I can barely talk to people on the phone, don't remember what happened on TV shows, pass out on the couch with my clothes still on and unshowered, etc. I also don't get anything done and am just wasting away my free time.
I'm still pleased with my progress though... a year ago I was drinking pretty much every night. I think I just need to find a balance between being vigilant about not drinking and overthinking it. Also I can't focus on permanent sobriety, it just freaks me out. I haven't quite figured this out yet, but I'm working on it.
It would be so nice if I could just drink once every couple of months and then be done with it for awhile, but for some reason (gee, I wonder what it is!) I don't trust myself to do that.
Nands - a muffin top is when you wear jeans or other fitted clothing and your fat gets shoved up over the top of the waistline, hence making your midsection look like a muffin.
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
I'm glad you are back to cg. I can't think more than 10 minutes ahead sometimes. When things get tough, I literally focus on staying sober and handling life for the next 10 minutes. And then the next. etc...
One day, I might progress to even taking life one day at a time, but that day hasn't come yet!!
LBx
One day, I might progress to even taking life one day at a time, but that day hasn't come yet!!
LBx
Perfectly Flawed
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Republic of Yorkshire
Posts: 481
So much I.D with you there CG. Pretty much describes me, especially not remembering T.V shows.
I've not yet accepted permanent sobriety as my destiny. I know ever time I drink depression, chaos and self loathing are only a week away. But I did recently toy with the idea of boozing for a week, every month, when just as you say, the obsession dominates my days and I just desperately need to chill out.
An alkie PMS type thing.
But for now, the projects and ambitions are getting bigger and better and non of it would even be started with a tinny in my hand.
Take care y'all!
I've not yet accepted permanent sobriety as my destiny. I know ever time I drink depression, chaos and self loathing are only a week away. But I did recently toy with the idea of boozing for a week, every month, when just as you say, the obsession dominates my days and I just desperately need to chill out.
An alkie PMS type thing.
But for now, the projects and ambitions are getting bigger and better and non of it would even be started with a tinny in my hand.
Take care y'all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
ah...one of my favorite drinking fantasys...that the dr. would say that of course...Ananda MUST drink...therefore we must arrange life around her need to drink, and accept her this way....
I don't know..I relate in so many ways, but it always worries me a little bit.
See, I couldn't slip in and out of my drinking any more when i stoped this last time....I guess I was able to for a period of time in the late 80s early 90s....back before you all were born???
I figure you all are just a little earlier in the progression of this disease, and yes it scares me....cause it's playing an alkie game in your head/my head...well...i can quit tomarrow...
It isn't about staying sober forever for me...believe me, I absolutely know that drinking will always be something I can go back to at any time. And it isn't about fear.....that never kept me sober, and the first time you drink again and the world doesn't fall apart jeeez..that can suck you into continual relapse mode like nothing else.
It's more about really understanding what a commitmnet that one itty bitty thing is...that it can turn in an instant from a occation slip returned from to the one I can't get out of and i won't even see it coming....
I think the misconception that picking up a drink means immediate disaster leads alot of alchoholics back to drinking on a regular basis...lets call it binge drinking ... given the damage to my body, and the nature of my personality, I suspect I would go quickly if i returned to drink...but I might not...would that prove me successful at the drinking game or managing...not really...eventually the dogs would bring me down...
I suppose I sound ridgid....but thesse are my thoughts this morning....I just don't feel like alchohol has much left it can teach me or give me anymore...There is only one thing alchohol still did for me when I drank, and that is the one thing I have to be very very careful about...I guess in that respect the longer you did the drinking thing and let it quit working the more clear it all becomes in sobriety.....problem with that is if you get it down to the point where it only does one thing for you you are probably half dead and might not make it to soberiety and life
just random thoughts...hope you don't mind my blither
I don't know..I relate in so many ways, but it always worries me a little bit.
See, I couldn't slip in and out of my drinking any more when i stoped this last time....I guess I was able to for a period of time in the late 80s early 90s....back before you all were born???
I figure you all are just a little earlier in the progression of this disease, and yes it scares me....cause it's playing an alkie game in your head/my head...well...i can quit tomarrow...
It isn't about staying sober forever for me...believe me, I absolutely know that drinking will always be something I can go back to at any time. And it isn't about fear.....that never kept me sober, and the first time you drink again and the world doesn't fall apart jeeez..that can suck you into continual relapse mode like nothing else.
It's more about really understanding what a commitmnet that one itty bitty thing is...that it can turn in an instant from a occation slip returned from to the one I can't get out of and i won't even see it coming....
I think the misconception that picking up a drink means immediate disaster leads alot of alchoholics back to drinking on a regular basis...lets call it binge drinking ... given the damage to my body, and the nature of my personality, I suspect I would go quickly if i returned to drink...but I might not...would that prove me successful at the drinking game or managing...not really...eventually the dogs would bring me down...
I suppose I sound ridgid....but thesse are my thoughts this morning....I just don't feel like alchohol has much left it can teach me or give me anymore...There is only one thing alchohol still did for me when I drank, and that is the one thing I have to be very very careful about...I guess in that respect the longer you did the drinking thing and let it quit working the more clear it all becomes in sobriety.....problem with that is if you get it down to the point where it only does one thing for you you are probably half dead and might not make it to soberiety and life
just random thoughts...hope you don't mind my blither
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: England
Posts: 1,981
Hey all :ghug
Some good reading there, thank you.
We are down to one pony again. Missy has gone back to here owner to let her rest before she has the foal. I'm a little sad but it's less work and money for me so that can't be bad. I had the day off to day and spent most of it at the stables. It was lovely as it's a beautiful day today.
I'm still struggling as you have probably guessed. Not drinking today though. My body seems to cope with it less and less now.
Has anyone heard from Fizzy?
Some good reading there, thank you.
We are down to one pony again. Missy has gone back to here owner to let her rest before she has the foal. I'm a little sad but it's less work and money for me so that can't be bad. I had the day off to day and spent most of it at the stables. It was lovely as it's a beautiful day today.
I'm still struggling as you have probably guessed. Not drinking today though. My body seems to cope with it less and less now.
Has anyone heard from Fizzy?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
have you ever noticed the men around here don't seem to have much sticking power????
Was thinking maybe men aren't so bad....but i think i was right before
and they wonder why we don't trust them......
well...ok...jiggy you get a pass this time.....or maybe on your last jaunt out you had a sex change operation thus your stead fast posting of the last few days?????
Was thinking maybe men aren't so bad....but i think i was right before
and they wonder why we don't trust them......
well...ok...jiggy you get a pass this time.....or maybe on your last jaunt out you had a sex change operation thus your stead fast posting of the last few days?????
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
lol! Your avatar nands, do you know that is a true story -about the baby hedgehogs that got all attached to a brush - I read it on the internet so it must be true!
My guinea pigs might just be fat! One of the boys looks pregnant too, so they are all going on a diet!
My guinea pigs might just be fat! One of the boys looks pregnant too, so they are all going on a diet!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I got in a pissing contest with the budget director for the university and I won!!!!!!!
You know I seem meek and mild, but **** me off and I will show my true intellect....There is a point where i won't tolerate the bullsh*t......that term was used liberally by us both during the phone call
I AM WOMAN HERE ME ROAR
More later, i'm not gonna dig myself anymore holes by posting too much at work...later
You know I seem meek and mild, but **** me off and I will show my true intellect....There is a point where i won't tolerate the bullsh*t......that term was used liberally by us both during the phone call
I AM WOMAN HERE ME ROAR
More later, i'm not gonna dig myself anymore holes by posting too much at work...later
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by nands
See, I couldn't slip in and out of my drinking any more when i stoped this last time....I guess I was able to for a period of time in the late 80s early 90s....back before you all were born???
I figure you all are just a little earlier in the progression of this disease, and yes it scares me....cause it's playing an alkie game in your head/my head...well...i can quit tomarrow...
It isn't about staying sober forever for me...believe me, I absolutely know that drinking will always be something I can go back to at any time. And it isn't about fear.....that never kept me sober, and the first time you drink again and the world doesn't fall apart jeeez..that can suck you into continual relapse mode like nothing else.
It's more about really understanding what a commitmnet that one itty bitty thing is...that it can turn in an instant from a occation slip returned from to the one I can't get out of and i won't even see it coming....
It isn't about staying sober forever for me...believe me, I absolutely know that drinking will always be something I can go back to at any time. And it isn't about fear.....that never kept me sober, and the first time you drink again and the world doesn't fall apart jeeez..that can suck you into continual relapse mode like nothing else.
It's more about really understanding what a commitmnet that one itty bitty thing is...that it can turn in an instant from a occation slip returned from to the one I can't get out of and i won't even see it coming....
but Nands is right...underestimate this, blow it off, downplay it? and it will consume you.
I know it - I've been there. Nands knows it too.
D
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