Just need some advice.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,648
Originally Posted by Iris1 
Got into it with a family member. They called me a bad parent for needing help... really irritates me. I know I have been struggling but I’m trying and I just can’t seem to get it down pat. At night time I ask for help because I’m not sleeping well even when baby does sleep. He wakes up a lot through out the night and I just can’t sleep. I feel like crap tonight. I’m just so angry with his dad for leaving me like this... so stressed. I hate being here alone and I am tonight,all night. Someone please tell me that I’m gonna be okay. I’m so aggravated.
JADE
Don't Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain
You don't need to engage with people that are not supportive, you don't need them to criticize you. Criticizing someone is REALLY easy from a distance.
When you are perhaps on the phone asking someone for help and they start a lecture or to put you down, just say something like - oh I have to go, baby! Now, that's not really a lie, just hang up the phone and go look at the baby lol
Having someone put you down is not going to help you one bit. Unless they are offering advice that seems really caring and helpful, get out of that conversation.
You are going to be ok, for sure. Despite how you criticize yourself, you are doing your best, making sure baby is well cared for and being there for him and for yourself, that's all you have to do right now.
You know I'm sorry your boyfriend is in such a bind and as he said, he's sorry, but of course that doesn't help you right now. Do remember, he is not your responsibility. Yes, his upbringing was horrendous, but that's not your burden to carry. I assume his Father is gone now, out of that picture?
I mentioned before about moving, is there any chance you can move closer to a town/city nearby? Perhaps you could even get in to a room-mate living arrangement with another single Mother, that way you two could keep each other company and maybe do occasional baby sitting for each other? Also, when you see your therapist perhaps they can suggest some medication to help with your anxiety?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Iris.....today begins a new week...… Baby steps...babysteps….babysteps….lol...
All communities have parent classes for new mothers...and, one can bring the baby. A good place to get more confidence in caring for the baby....and, meeting some new people, in the process. You can find out about the parent classes through a lot of people....You can...
Call the pediatrician's office and ask them... or
You can ask your therapist to help you find one.. or
You can ask when you call or go to ask for financial assistance or
You can, also, ask for transportation passes...which you are probably qualifying for.....
Does this sound like something you would like to do? Do you think you can do something like this?
I think you would enjoy it....meeting other new mothers, like yourself..and, getting out of the h ouse! Just getting out of the house, can make you feel so much better....
You just have to open your mouth and be willing to ask....
It is another way to do a baby step...…
What do you think of the suggestions that trailmix made? Do you think that your current location makes you more isolated?
I cannot emphasize how much my friendships with other single mothers helped me when I was a single mother of three small children. We helped each other soo much! I don't know what I would have don without them. I had no family help at all...they all lived hundreds of miles away, in another state. My ex husband was no help at all. Zero.
I did get lots of help from the county social services department (the place where you get assistance). I even returned to school, as a single parent, with 3 small kids. I got food stamps and child care paid for.
All communities have parent classes for new mothers...and, one can bring the baby. A good place to get more confidence in caring for the baby....and, meeting some new people, in the process. You can find out about the parent classes through a lot of people....You can...
Call the pediatrician's office and ask them... or
You can ask your therapist to help you find one.. or
You can ask when you call or go to ask for financial assistance or
You can, also, ask for transportation passes...which you are probably qualifying for.....
Does this sound like something you would like to do? Do you think you can do something like this?
I think you would enjoy it....meeting other new mothers, like yourself..and, getting out of the h ouse! Just getting out of the house, can make you feel so much better....
You just have to open your mouth and be willing to ask....
It is another way to do a baby step...…
What do you think of the suggestions that trailmix made? Do you think that your current location makes you more isolated?
I cannot emphasize how much my friendships with other single mothers helped me when I was a single mother of three small children. We helped each other soo much! I don't know what I would have don without them. I had no family help at all...they all lived hundreds of miles away, in another state. My ex husband was no help at all. Zero.
I did get lots of help from the county social services department (the place where you get assistance). I even returned to school, as a single parent, with 3 small kids. I got food stamps and child care paid for.
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