Overdosed - definitely a trigger warning
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
Thank you all so much.
The hospital released her at 3 am that night. She called and wanted me to come get her. I did not. She cried and yelled, said the neighborhood was scary. I asked, "more scary than what you did at home tonight?" I couldn't help it. I was awake until I heard her on the porch. I had put everything outside. She knew not to come in. She and her ABF left in their car early the next morning. He came back and found her sleeping on the narrow patio of our yard, where my youngest had set up a sleeping bag. She called later that morning and apologized to me. Asked if I wanted to be kept in the loop about her treatment. Surreal. That is really all I can make of it now.
I had a trip planned with a dear college friend to CA and considered cancelling it for a few hours. My 16 yo and my husband convinced me to go. So I am here, surrounded by palm trees and lovely breezes with a dear friend at my side for the next four days. I am so glad I came despite my sorrow and exhaustion--maybe some great self care will heal me for the next chapter. I feel stronger every time, it just still hurts. Baby steps.
THanks again to all of you.
The hospital released her at 3 am that night. She called and wanted me to come get her. I did not. She cried and yelled, said the neighborhood was scary. I asked, "more scary than what you did at home tonight?" I couldn't help it. I was awake until I heard her on the porch. I had put everything outside. She knew not to come in. She and her ABF left in their car early the next morning. He came back and found her sleeping on the narrow patio of our yard, where my youngest had set up a sleeping bag. She called later that morning and apologized to me. Asked if I wanted to be kept in the loop about her treatment. Surreal. That is really all I can make of it now.
I had a trip planned with a dear college friend to CA and considered cancelling it for a few hours. My 16 yo and my husband convinced me to go. So I am here, surrounded by palm trees and lovely breezes with a dear friend at my side for the next four days. I am so glad I came despite my sorrow and exhaustion--maybe some great self care will heal me for the next chapter. I feel stronger every time, it just still hurts. Baby steps.
THanks again to all of you.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 102
GM, I do hope you and your daughter are better. I feel your pain and do pray for your daughter to have an epiphany that this is not the way to live. My 23yo son is also a heroin addict. I have good and bad days. Sometimes I just don't know what to do or say. Jus when I think I am ready to give, I see that I am the only glimmer of hope he has...not sure if I'm doing the right thing or not. I'm just not sure anymore. I pray for all our children and for us to have the strength to endure all if this and still have hope for a better future. Lots of hugs to you.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Gardenmama,
Glad to hear that she is ok, and I hope that as she slept in that sleeping bag, she had some good thinking going on. She sounds like she knows your boundaries, and your being strong will help her.
I am really glad to hear that you are relaxing and getting away for a while. sounds lovely!
have the best time.. you so deserve it.
Glad to hear that she is ok, and I hope that as she slept in that sleeping bag, she had some good thinking going on. She sounds like she knows your boundaries, and your being strong will help her.
I am really glad to hear that you are relaxing and getting away for a while. sounds lovely!
have the best time.. you so deserve it.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Gardenmama sorry I am late to post here but want you to know I am so very sorry you are going through this. Horrible for you to have to call 911 with your daughter's lips turning blue. I cant even begin to imagine! As a Mom I sure know how heartbreaking this is though. I pray for your family and for your daughter to make the decision to get help. I applaud your strength in keeping your boundaries. Deep down no matter how hard it is, you know it is the best thing for her. While you may not be in the party vacation mood, please enjoy your few days of peace. You have more than earned it! By the way I absolutely do believe in Satan and he is happy to have your daughter in her addiction but as other stated, our God is so much stronger!
Last year we flew out to CA with my son for rehab, and while we were completely wiped out and devastated, we decided while out there we may as well try and see some of Cali since my husband had never been. It did help take our minds off what was happening if even for a few minutes and yes in some weird ways, it was peaceful. I wish that for you tonight Gardenmama. Beautiful sunny days and quiet, peaceful nights. Hugs.
Last year we flew out to CA with my son for rehab, and while we were completely wiped out and devastated, we decided while out there we may as well try and see some of Cali since my husband had never been. It did help take our minds off what was happening if even for a few minutes and yes in some weird ways, it was peaceful. I wish that for you tonight Gardenmama. Beautiful sunny days and quiet, peaceful nights. Hugs.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
When I read stories like this, I'm instantly heartbroken. To be put into a position where you need to separate from your own child to save your own sanity is sad beyond words.
But I'm glad you've done that, GardenMama. For your sake.
She's in God's hands now. He can handle what you can't.
Be well.
ZoSo
But I'm glad you've done that, GardenMama. For your sake.
She's in God's hands now. He can handle what you can't.
Be well.
ZoSo
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
it is so so sad when we do our best to give them every opportunity to succeed and time and time again they refuse. I can't begin to imagine all you have been through.
it was wise of you to go on your trip to be with a dear friend. for YOU.
it was wise of you to go on your trip to be with a dear friend. for YOU.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear GM, I don't come around much anymore...the heartache is overwhelming. I too have children that are in recovery, but the memories that keep screaming thru my mind of what could of been, and can still be, will haunt me for a very long time. Perhaps forever.
My younger child doesn't think Heroin is such a bad thing...well it is, it's the devil, and I pray he never ever tries it, and then puts himself thru hell, along with his dad and me again.
Hold tight to that friend in Cali, also to your husband and son, SR, the support that they give you will keep your sanity alive. My thoughts and prayers are yours today.
My younger child doesn't think Heroin is such a bad thing...well it is, it's the devil, and I pray he never ever tries it, and then puts himself thru hell, along with his dad and me again.
Hold tight to that friend in Cali, also to your husband and son, SR, the support that they give you will keep your sanity alive. My thoughts and prayers are yours today.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
I am back home after 4 lovely days with a dear friend. We had such a relaxing and fun time. Today I took this picture of some lily pads and tonight at home looking at it, I see that there are many more pads than there are lilies. I think about my recovery and realize that we need more pads than lilies, that's just how it is. There are always more leaves than blossoms. We have to find a way to be comfortable with the leaves, and not expect flowers all of the time...
Thank you all for your support and affirmations. Apparently, my AD has taken steps towards finding a bed in an inpatient treatment center. I am not holding my breath, and she is not welcome to stay here again. That is a tricky situation for me as a mom, but it is not unfamiliar. I will be okay.
Thank you all for your support and affirmations. Apparently, my AD has taken steps towards finding a bed in an inpatient treatment center. I am not holding my breath, and she is not welcome to stay here again. That is a tricky situation for me as a mom, but it is not unfamiliar. I will be okay.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Gardenmama,
What a lovely picture. Soothing and peaceful. I wish comfort for your heart, and that your daughter gets herself into a better place, in every way, very soon.
And wishing you more and more peaceful moments.
What a lovely picture. Soothing and peaceful. I wish comfort for your heart, and that your daughter gets herself into a better place, in every way, very soon.
And wishing you more and more peaceful moments.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Gardenmama thank you for sharing. I loved your analogy-so true! I am happy to hear your vacation was peaceful and that your daughter is looking to get better. Continued prayers for you for peace of mind and for wisdom and clarity for your daughter.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: The Middle Distance
Posts: 197
GardenMama, I pray for peace and wellness in your heart and your daughter's heart. I believe God is stronger than the devil...He is strong, merciful and full of light.
Your family members are in my prayers. You have been such a positive inspiration for me. It just hurts my heart to know you are going through such times....
Your family members are in my prayers. You have been such a positive inspiration for me. It just hurts my heart to know you are going through such times....
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