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The Consequences

Old 09-17-2013, 08:42 AM
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The Consequences

I have a million thoughts running thru my head today. I am hoping that by posting them on here I will release them and move on.

I have been on an emotional roller coaster for that last few months and this week I am pulling up to the platform...it is my intent to hop off, but many prayers will be needed. As I shared on a previous post, my house is scheduled for Sheriff's Sale this week. I tried all of the logical fixes that I could, and unfortunately none worked. My AH has been working his sobriety and on the way to a meeting last night he insisted that he had the fix...borrow from this person, use this designated money, blah, blah, blah. I told him that our only option is to let the house go and use what money we have to find a new place to live. He started to tell me that we couldn't just walk away from all we had in it...I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs...we didn't, you did when you chose to buy heroine, over and over again. But I didn't. I told him to show me on paper how this could work, and if he was able, I would consider it. He was unable.

At this moment he is in court for a DUI (on prescribed medicine) I asked him to leave me his MAC card so I could access his paycheck tomorrow, and if they locked him up he was on his own. He agreed.

My stomach is a constant ball of nerves, waiting to see what happens with him, waiting for my house to sell on Thursday, wondering what the future holds. I'm holding tight to God at them moment and believing that he will work this out for his good.

Thanks so much for allowing me to share this!
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Old 09-17-2013, 09:15 AM
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Praying for you also!
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Old 09-17-2013, 10:20 AM
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Ann
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You will be okay, and you are right to let go of the house and take one big stress off your plate. You can start over, with or without him. You can find a better life not filled with debt and stress. Bankruptcy is often a huge relief to those who have been buried under a mountain of debt for far too long, it's a chance to start over debt free.

He has not been making good decisions, he cannot be financially responsible right now, so planning a way to borrow from one to pay another just doesn't make sense and doesn't solve your long term problem.

I hope you can work through this and find your peace somewhere in the solution. Anxiety will eat you alive if you let it.

Hugs and my prayers too for a better tomorrow for all of you.
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Old 09-17-2013, 02:48 PM
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working on his sobriety....what does that mean? is he clean and sober, 100% now today?

you are permitted to begin to put yourself first now....you are permitted to ask if you want to keep sticking by this financial disaster who makes zero sense and has used and abused drugs at the cost of a home you both valued so dearly. maybe when you think about a place, you think about a place FOR YOU. one that doesn't come with ready-made messes and chaos and heartbreak up the gazoo.
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Old 09-17-2013, 09:07 PM
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You are making a very good choice to let go of the house. At this point, if he is working his sobriety, his focus should be on that and not the financial chaos. Maybe he feels guilty because he knows he caused the situation. It's better to start all over for both of you. There is no shame in losing something material. Your sanity and health are worth so much more!
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Old 09-18-2013, 12:27 AM
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I surrendered my home too. I didn't have too but I wanted and needed too. I just couldn't see having any more financial entanglements with my husband. The decision was probably mostly based on fear at first but my gut instincts continued to tell me I was doing the right thing. Thank God, I listened. The house is just cement, it means very little to me at this point. I just want peace and freedom....away from addiction.
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