LoveMeNow

Thank you PacificSunrise but really you deserve the thanks and hugs for being such a great inspiration.

I was in denial and very ignorant about my husband's addiction. I knew something was wrong but had other excuses to blame it on. I even knew he took pills (he had a prescription) and I minimized it by calling it a pill problem. He told me he quit and I believed him. My teenage kids lived with an active addict for at least 2 yrs and me, their mother, their protector was clueless. I discovered later, they knew much more then I did.

I am still working through my owm guilt and my shame in the role I played in all this.

Please remember - its your mother problem not yours. It feels personal but it's not. Her loss (you and your kids) will always be some bodies else's gain. We are not defined by what others think about us, including our families.

So thank you for sharing your strength. Hugs and God Bless

irisgardens

I am right there with Ann...shame on your family.

My family...I have had and have now...an AH (Alcoholic) and three AD's...2 of whom are clean now and productive. My mother and sister supported my husband all the way and cut me off as I was working like a crazy woman on support and recovery. They blame me for things going back years and years. They will not forgive, although I spent almost 13 years after Dad died begging and groveling.

I have finally lost my cravings for them...thank you God. I raised my 5 children through that chaos...and silent treatment even when I was in the room. It all started when my father died.

I no longer know if it is denial, ignorance, mean, or spiteful. I have learned in very hard ways that it doesn't matter...and I look for people in my life who are kind, good hearted and enjoy being with and talking with me as I do them.

I explained everything to this family of people who simply were not who I believed they were before my father died...I love them all...can't change that...but know that they will not and probably cannot be there for me in my pain...despite the fact that as oldest daughter and sister...I was there for all of them...especially Mom during Dad's final illness.

I am glad to have the people I have. I try not to think about the past after processing so much of it over the years and releasing.

Keep on doing what you are doing. You will find people who are meant for you. Unfortunately, not all people are capable of caring for us as we deserve.