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still not free

Old 03-02-2012, 03:06 PM
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still not free

so my son should have been out of the house into detox and onto sober living, right....yeah that didnt happen, honestly i have to say here he did go but the hospital did not want to take our insurance, and they wont let him go to sober living without detox first and so a few days ago i went through my insurance and found another hospital they told me for sure would accept us , well we ended up staying there for like 4 hours until they finally figured out ...nope didnt accept the insurance, let me tell you im from ny and rehab around here is absolutely horrendous unless you have great insurance and a ***load of money. Only rehab i can possibly get him would be out of state but for some reason he says he doesnt want to go far away ...I know, excuses excuses, you know the other day he actually said something along the lines of did you know that withdrawal can kill you, i have to have this drug in my body for it to survive.....i swear i have no words to say . Im jsut left speechless, and i feel so tired, you know i used to have panic attacks and everything else but nope that has gone away now i actually get panickattacks at having to think he is living with me as an addict my god what your own child can make you into pretty horrifying ,and i have no idea what happens next, my husband is on the verge of throwing him out but you know in the end something is bound to happen one way or another it will end just trying to hang in there..
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Old 03-02-2012, 03:22 PM
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I feel for you. My husband and I found a rehab for our son and we shelled out the money last June. It was cheaper compared to some places--but none are cheap. Should our son wind up needing rehab in the future, I know we must let him figure it out (easier said than done). I've heard there are free rehabs. It's so hard to let our children figure out their own lives without our trying to figure it out for them. I've gained some fortitude from coming here on this forum. I spoke to my son today (he moved in with his girlfriend). I took the car he had been using away from him and today he was discussing his getting a bus pass. They can manage just fine without us--if we let them.
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Old 03-02-2012, 03:32 PM
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Sorry for what you are going through. You can get free detox in my area but there is a long wait and they won't stop you from leaving. My AD had to actually be incarcerated to detox. She also detoxed once because she said she was suicidal and they kept her in the hospital for a few days because of it. It's no picnic dealing with an addict but you'll get through this. Sending you some hugs and prayers.
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Old 03-02-2012, 03:33 PM
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(((((llonelystar))))) and (((((kmangel)))))

I would suggest you give him the phone number of The Salvation Army, and allow him the DIGNITY of finding his own solution.

Step back, see if he calls them and goes for their evaluation. They will find him a detox and if he qualifies and is WILLING will put him in their FREE Rehab for as long as he needs. They have an excellent program with great success for those that are willing and it is FREE.

Time to step back and allow your son ALL the consequences of his actions (good ones and bad ones).

As a side note, I will be FOREVER GRATEFUL that my parents did just that, stepped aside and went no contact. Yep it took me 2 1/2 more years and the last 1 1/2 I was living on the streets of Hollywood, but of everything my folks ever did for me, THIS WAS THE BEST ACTION AND THE BEST THING THEY EVER DID.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

PS: I am coming up on 31 continuous years sober and clean, and 28 continuous years in recovery from my codependent issues.
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Old 03-03-2012, 01:41 PM
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I joined finally after reading this for 2 years. I wanted to say that NY is one of the best states to be an addict in. I live in NY. How old is your son? I wanted to pm you with good rehabs and how to get in, but I see I must post 5 times before I can.
Look into St. Christopher's in Garrison, NY. Wonderful program. You live there but it is charged as an outpatient. 90 day program then on to its sober living, etc. Also, you need to call Addiciotn Crisis centers and in our area you go in and start the etox process there, no one is turned away. If you need to be you will be transported to the hospital. There are many good programs. If you live downstate you may have to drive upstate. Also, Conifer Park in Albany detox and rehab. There are more out there. Don't give up,it is something they can't always do on there own.
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Old 03-03-2012, 03:48 PM
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He is lucky enough to have the option for help on insurance, and "it is too far away" boohooo! Doesn't that make you just want to smack him!

I do know what you are going through, I used to spend hours trying to find my son a rehab, and as soon as I would find something there was always a reason for him not to go, or it was too far, or religious, or inpatient----always an excuse.

For me, the panic attacks went away after I made him move out and have no contact with him.

Hugs
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