Afraid of the Drug Dealers
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 278
Afraid of the Drug Dealers
My 18 year old has been in detox for three days and I have combed his cell phone and found out he is trafficking drugs. When we called the cops to our house Monday it was because I found a shot gun in my son's trunk and when I asked him about it, immediately three gangy looking thugs drove up in another car and removed the shot gun. Then my son took off in his car with one of them. Anyway the cops came, we did an intervention and he's in detox wanting to know when he's getting out-not a good sign.
I had no idea he was so involved in dealing drugs until I read his texts which are still coming in. I am afraid to open my blinds. They know where we live...what if my son owes them money and they come here? The police already told us we were at high risk because of all this. I don't get the feeling my son wants to get better...i have visited him three days at detox and he is non remorseful, doesn't say to much but when I told him I had been monitoring his cell phone he got real agitated and said. i should leave that alone. I was thinking about taking it to the police but that might endanger me and my husband further if we mark on the dealers and buyers.
Yesterday I felt so bad for my son, now I am angry that I can't even go outside without being afraid. He put us in a bad situation and all we have done is try to help him. When he comes home we are taking away his cell phone and car and not enabling him at all. He will hate it but if he hates it enough he will either get better or leave. At this point, I am angry at his complete disregard for our safety.
This has been a nightmare week. And I know it is just beginning. My son isn't the same anymore. He is cold and distant like the drugs have sucked his soul out and in only a couple of months. I am asking for protection from my higher power and the angels. I have never owned a gun and never needed too. My husband and I both hate guns but we are wondering if we should get one.
I had no idea he was so involved in dealing drugs until I read his texts which are still coming in. I am afraid to open my blinds. They know where we live...what if my son owes them money and they come here? The police already told us we were at high risk because of all this. I don't get the feeling my son wants to get better...i have visited him three days at detox and he is non remorseful, doesn't say to much but when I told him I had been monitoring his cell phone he got real agitated and said. i should leave that alone. I was thinking about taking it to the police but that might endanger me and my husband further if we mark on the dealers and buyers.
Yesterday I felt so bad for my son, now I am angry that I can't even go outside without being afraid. He put us in a bad situation and all we have done is try to help him. When he comes home we are taking away his cell phone and car and not enabling him at all. He will hate it but if he hates it enough he will either get better or leave. At this point, I am angry at his complete disregard for our safety.
This has been a nightmare week. And I know it is just beginning. My son isn't the same anymore. He is cold and distant like the drugs have sucked his soul out and in only a couple of months. I am asking for protection from my higher power and the angels. I have never owned a gun and never needed too. My husband and I both hate guns but we are wondering if we should get one.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
My A stepson brought one of his dealer's INTO his father's house. Mr. HG asked him at that point to move out because he decided not to live in danger because of the actions of his son. We were not yet married at the time, I lived elsewhere.
'Jr.' was about 27 at the time.
We both hate guns and would not get one. We did make sure the house alarm was set even when we were inside. If you do not have a house alarm, perhaps consider getting one. You do not have to live in constant fear because of your son's actions. However, it will likely mean asking him to leave. If you are paying for your son's cell phone, you might consider cutting off that service, too. I don't believe I would feel obligated to turn the phone over to the police. I'm sure they already know who the major players are in your area. Perhaps they can step up the patrols in your area for a few weeks?
Huge hugs and prayers for safety! HG
'Jr.' was about 27 at the time.
We both hate guns and would not get one. We did make sure the house alarm was set even when we were inside. If you do not have a house alarm, perhaps consider getting one. You do not have to live in constant fear because of your son's actions. However, it will likely mean asking him to leave. If you are paying for your son's cell phone, you might consider cutting off that service, too. I don't believe I would feel obligated to turn the phone over to the police. I'm sure they already know who the major players are in your area. Perhaps they can step up the patrols in your area for a few weeks?
Huge hugs and prayers for safety! HG
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Buying a gun is not the answer. Detaching is. DO NOT ALLOW him to come back in your home. He can go to the Salvation Army, couch surf, a sober living home or whatever.
Detox is not a magical cure, it is only step one. He must embrace recovery and want it more than anything else in life. He is not responding like he is ready for recovery.
Have you considered not visiting him, not contacting him, and let him fend for himself?
If you keep running to him, he will not have a chance of understanding that for every bad action, there is a bad reaction.
You can help him by letting him fall to his knees, until he does that he will never seek recovery. Not my rules, just how it works.
Detox is not a magical cure, it is only step one. He must embrace recovery and want it more than anything else in life. He is not responding like he is ready for recovery.
Have you considered not visiting him, not contacting him, and let him fend for himself?
If you keep running to him, he will not have a chance of understanding that for every bad action, there is a bad reaction.
You can help him by letting him fall to his knees, until he does that he will never seek recovery. Not my rules, just how it works.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
Are you sure you want him back living in your home? You can take away his phone or whatever you want, but if he's determined to continue associating with these people, he will. Cell phones are cheap and he can easily get another. Why give him the chance to put you and your husband in further danger?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Back when, I too had an alarm system installed for my own peace of mind.
Unfortunately, it sounds like the stint in detox is nothing more than a pause for him. That's his choice. He does not sound remotely ready to embrace any opportunities for change.
Cancelling the cell phone plan, taking back the car and taking him off your insurance policy further protects you . All of this stuff enables his poor choices. No reason to even tell him. Just do it.
What you will save will more than pay for a security system.
Unfortunately, it sounds like the stint in detox is nothing more than a pause for him. That's his choice. He does not sound remotely ready to embrace any opportunities for change.
Cancelling the cell phone plan, taking back the car and taking him off your insurance policy further protects you . All of this stuff enables his poor choices. No reason to even tell him. Just do it.
What you will save will more than pay for a security system.
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
There is not a snowball's chance in hell I'd let him back into my house under any conditions or for any reason. You can bet your life (literally) that the dealers will be looking for him and they are the first people he will contact when he is "free".
Face it, your son is a bona fide gangsta.
Face it, your son is a bona fide gangsta.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by tjp613 
There is not a snowball's chance in hell I'd let him back into my house under any conditions or for any reason. You can bet your life (literally) that the dealers will be looking for him and they are the first people he will contact when he is "free".
You're already in danger, and it won't get any better if he's allowed back home, guaranteed.
Believe me, as a recovering addict who was married to a dealer, I know what I speak of.
There are people who'd rather blow your head off than look at you in the world of drug dealers.
They won't hesitate.
I met a few of those in my day.
A friend of my EXAH's had dealers kick in his front door and they had sawed-off shotguns. He hid in the bedroom and left his wife and two kids to deal with them.
Nice, huh?
Fortunately they left the wife/kids alone, but hauled off all his expensive stereo equipment and tv for repayment while she and the kids watched in horror.
You may not be that lucky.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I agree that letting him come home endangers everyone who lives there.
If he wants recovery, the Salvation Army Rehab is free and he could go there. If he doesn't want recovery there is absolutely no reason for the rest of the family to put their lives in danger to please him.
My son has been missing for over 7 years. If he gets clean he knows who to contact to find out where we are. I deliberately do not open a Facebook or any other public account because I am certain he has made enemies with the wrong people over the years and getting at us would be a good way to get at him. So I keep myself safe, even though he is long gone.
Good luck.
Hugs
If he wants recovery, the Salvation Army Rehab is free and he could go there. If he doesn't want recovery there is absolutely no reason for the rest of the family to put their lives in danger to please him.
My son has been missing for over 7 years. If he gets clean he knows who to contact to find out where we are. I deliberately do not open a Facebook or any other public account because I am certain he has made enemies with the wrong people over the years and getting at us would be a good way to get at him. So I keep myself safe, even though he is long gone.
Good luck.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
Back in the day....
I put in a security system.
But....I refuse to live in fear.
A can of hairspray or wasp spray within easy reach is always a good thing.
An enormous dog food bowl and water bowl by the door with "Killer" printed on the side
laugh if you want....but, all signs they look for to see what they are up against.
I put in a security system.
But....I refuse to live in fear.
A can of hairspray or wasp spray within easy reach is always a good thing.
An enormous dog food bowl and water bowl by the door with "Killer" printed on the side
laugh if you want....but, all signs they look for to see what they are up against.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 278
Whoa...doesn't sound good. My anxiety has been through the roof all week. Wish we could move to a gated community but that's not the answer either. I am going to give him one last chance and we have written up a contract on what is expected if he chooses to live here and what will not be accepted. If he breaks the rules then I have already located a treatment center ten miles out in the desert that is partially state funded. It would cost us 2700.00 for him to live there four months. My husband removed the ignition plug from his car as well as the keys, title, cell phone etc. We are getting a lock box tonight. This is his last chance but after being scared all week and not even being able to allow the poor house plants any sunlight for fear of opening the blinds...I am done. I will no longer enable this demon who has taken over my child....the addiction. I hope I can stay strong.
But this is his last chance on living at home and I hope I have not made a mistake. How much does a bullet proof vest cost? There's gotta be a ray of light in here somewhere but I too feel he will relapse soon and then he's out. He used to be the sweetest kid...never violent...never loud or arrogant. And he is still very quiet but this quietness is now alien to me...he doesn't connect with us at all...like something has taken him over.
I appreciate all of your replies. I will keep up with you if I may and let you know how things are going. I have trouble getting my heart swayed but I am angry now...wish this anger would last so I can stay on top of him. But i do know it is up to him. Please send prayers of protection. This is so horrible. Thanks for being on here...you don't know how much your support means.
But this is his last chance on living at home and I hope I have not made a mistake. How much does a bullet proof vest cost? There's gotta be a ray of light in here somewhere but I too feel he will relapse soon and then he's out. He used to be the sweetest kid...never violent...never loud or arrogant. And he is still very quiet but this quietness is now alien to me...he doesn't connect with us at all...like something has taken him over.
I appreciate all of your replies. I will keep up with you if I may and let you know how things are going. I have trouble getting my heart swayed but I am angry now...wish this anger would last so I can stay on top of him. But i do know it is up to him. Please send prayers of protection. This is so horrible. Thanks for being on here...you don't know how much your support means.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
He's already telling you to 'leave it alone' ie the cell phone. He is already 'antsy' to get out of there.
Why on earth would you give him another chance? You are already in fear. Please rethink this.
Please, since you both do not like guns and have no experience with one, DO NOT BUY A GUN. Get the house wired and alarmed, with when the alarm is triggered it immediately notifies the police station in addition to the alarm company. Change your locks and put his clothes out by the front door.
I am very familiar with guns. Since I was 5 years old, my grandfather taught me gun safety, he was a Chicago police officer. All my children were taught gun safety from a young age as have my grandchildren. They are all excellent shots and go to the range at least once a month. I am licensed to carry concealed and I do. I teach classes for others to get their licenses to carry concealed. It is a 2 day, 6 hours a day class.
However, I would NEVER recommend to someone who does not like guns, is probably a bit fearful of guns, has no experience with guns to go buy one. It would end up being used on you by the perpetrator.
So, please rethink about allowing him back into your home. A contract WON'T WORK it is just a piece of paper with no enforcement value what so ever. Shut off the phone, take the care back, and do not leave it on your property, put it up for sale on consignment somewhere away from your home. Oh and pull the SIM card from the phone. If you don't want to give it to the police, destroy it. Then get rid of the phone. Cancel the insurance, all of those moves will MORE THAN PAY for installation and activation of a quality ALARM SYSTEM.
These are just some of the consequences of HIS ACTIONS. If you allow him back into your home, you are bringing MORE FEAR, TERROR, and LOSS OF PEACE to your home.
My parents waited until I was 33 1/2 years old to finally shut the door on me and CUT ME OFF completely. It still took me 2 1/2 more years to find recovery and 1 1/2 of those years I lived on the streets of Hollywood.
To this day I believe THAT was the ABSOLUTE BEST THING my parents ever did for me, my only regret is that they waited so long.
J M H O based on my personal experiences of over 30 years of continuous sobriety and over 27 years of working on my own codependent issues.
Love and hugs,
Why on earth would you give him another chance? You are already in fear. Please rethink this.
Please, since you both do not like guns and have no experience with one, DO NOT BUY A GUN. Get the house wired and alarmed, with when the alarm is triggered it immediately notifies the police station in addition to the alarm company. Change your locks and put his clothes out by the front door.
I am very familiar with guns. Since I was 5 years old, my grandfather taught me gun safety, he was a Chicago police officer. All my children were taught gun safety from a young age as have my grandchildren. They are all excellent shots and go to the range at least once a month. I am licensed to carry concealed and I do. I teach classes for others to get their licenses to carry concealed. It is a 2 day, 6 hours a day class.
However, I would NEVER recommend to someone who does not like guns, is probably a bit fearful of guns, has no experience with guns to go buy one. It would end up being used on you by the perpetrator.
So, please rethink about allowing him back into your home. A contract WON'T WORK it is just a piece of paper with no enforcement value what so ever. Shut off the phone, take the care back, and do not leave it on your property, put it up for sale on consignment somewhere away from your home. Oh and pull the SIM card from the phone. If you don't want to give it to the police, destroy it. Then get rid of the phone. Cancel the insurance, all of those moves will MORE THAN PAY for installation and activation of a quality ALARM SYSTEM.
These are just some of the consequences of HIS ACTIONS. If you allow him back into your home, you are bringing MORE FEAR, TERROR, and LOSS OF PEACE to your home.
My parents waited until I was 33 1/2 years old to finally shut the door on me and CUT ME OFF completely. It still took me 2 1/2 more years to find recovery and 1 1/2 of those years I lived on the streets of Hollywood.
To this day I believe THAT was the ABSOLUTE BEST THING my parents ever did for me, my only regret is that they waited so long.
J M H O based on my personal experiences of over 30 years of continuous sobriety and over 27 years of working on my own codependent issues.
Love and hugs,
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
If you haven't yet let him in, you haven't yet made a mistake. I agree with everything Laurie said. This is serious stuff. Your son isn't the sweet quiet gentle boy he once was. Not only is he using, he is distributing! The police are going to have their eye on him from now on. You don't need a SWAT team busting down your front door to get to him and you certainly don't need him bringing any more danger into your home. When he gets out of detox, he is not going to go back to the meek and mild kid you once knew. You already know that because you've seen him and his attitude in detox. He isn't there because he wants to be, he's there because he has to be and he's just biding his time until he can get out and go right back to doing what he's been doing.
PLEASE rethink this. Your home is not his only option and it's not the best option. Until he has to face some real consequences of his actions, nothing is going to change. You taking away his phone and his car are just minor annoyances, not real consequences.
PLEASE rethink this. Your home is not his only option and it's not the best option. Until he has to face some real consequences of his actions, nothing is going to change. You taking away his phone and his car are just minor annoyances, not real consequences.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by Windblown
But this is his last chance on living at home and I hope I have not made a mistake. How much does a bullet proof vest cost?
You have NO idea what you are dealing with.
I hope you two don't end up on the front page of the newspaper in a double homicide.
Of course the bodies aren't always found either.
I can't make you grasp the gravity of this situation, and it's obvious you aren't.
Good luck. You are going to need it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I really hope you re-think this, too. Like (((Laurie))) and (((Freedom))) and several others, I'm an RA as well as recovering codie. I wasn't a dealer, my XABF#3 was, as were most of the people I hung around with. There were guns..I am terrified of them.
I didn't care about losing my car, losing my phone, losing my nursing career, or anything else. I just cared about getting high. I lived on the streets, did what most females do to support my habit. It sounds like your son has a ways to go before he hits his bottom.
People with shotguns are not to be messed with. If you let him back in your home, he'll find a way to get in touch with him. Do you really want to play prison warden? Watch him 24/7 to make sure he doesn't talk to anyone? Do you really think the other guys are going to CARE if you're home or not?
I got into recovery, and then got robbed at work..twice. Had a shotgun in my face, and the 2nd time got pistol whipped. The 14-year-old who smacked me joined his friends in killing 4 people the next day. The leader was my former coworker, who used to bum cigarettes off of me. Did they give a damn when they hurt me and my coworkers? Nope. Did they give a damn about the 15-year-old innocent kid and dog they shot? Nope.
These people don't play. I wouldn't BE in recovery if my family hadn't let me hit my bottom and claw my way back out of the really deep hole I'd dug myself into..and am STILL digging out of it, 4-1/2 years later, but with the support of my family because I work my recovery as if my life depends on it. It does.
Please, please, reconsider letting him come back home. If you have anything that can be sold, it probably will. When I was in jail the first time, XABF#2 sold/pawned/traded for drugs everything I owned, including the vacuum cleaner.
We are not trying to be harsh, but we do care and personally, I'm really worried about you if you let him back home. Please keep us posted. The codie in me wants to know you're okay.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I didn't care about losing my car, losing my phone, losing my nursing career, or anything else. I just cared about getting high. I lived on the streets, did what most females do to support my habit. It sounds like your son has a ways to go before he hits his bottom.
People with shotguns are not to be messed with. If you let him back in your home, he'll find a way to get in touch with him. Do you really want to play prison warden? Watch him 24/7 to make sure he doesn't talk to anyone? Do you really think the other guys are going to CARE if you're home or not?
I got into recovery, and then got robbed at work..twice. Had a shotgun in my face, and the 2nd time got pistol whipped. The 14-year-old who smacked me joined his friends in killing 4 people the next day. The leader was my former coworker, who used to bum cigarettes off of me. Did they give a damn when they hurt me and my coworkers? Nope. Did they give a damn about the 15-year-old innocent kid and dog they shot? Nope.
These people don't play. I wouldn't BE in recovery if my family hadn't let me hit my bottom and claw my way back out of the really deep hole I'd dug myself into..and am STILL digging out of it, 4-1/2 years later, but with the support of my family because I work my recovery as if my life depends on it. It does.
Please, please, reconsider letting him come back home. If you have anything that can be sold, it probably will. When I was in jail the first time, XABF#2 sold/pawned/traded for drugs everything I owned, including the vacuum cleaner.
We are not trying to be harsh, but we do care and personally, I'm really worried about you if you let him back home. Please keep us posted. The codie in me wants to know you're okay.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 455
I'm sorry for your situation. Taking the phone/car did not deter my AD, nor did she have concern for the safety of her family. Heck she did not have concern for her own safety so why would she care about anyone else? Ultimately she had to leave because I did not feel safe in my home when she was around.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I am sorry, allowing him back in your home, is going to put your safety at risk. You have no idea of what you are dealing with. The contract is meaningless, he is an addict, he may sign it, however, to him it is not worth the paper it is written on.
You are playing with fire, I hope you do not get burned too badly.
You are playing with fire, I hope you do not get burned too badly.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
This sounds very serious. Although your son may have been a really nice kid, drugs have hijacked him. I understand how desperately this hurts your heart. My son is out there doing who knows what to support his habit. He was a sweet child. Kind. Always wanting to help other people, gregarious, funny. I don't know him anymore.
I don't trust him now. I installed a security camera in my house--he got very upset about it. Hmmmmmm.....no need to get upset about a security camera unless it's going to catch you doing something you shouldn't be doing. It was NOT expensive. It sends pictures (motion sensor) to my email if someone is in my house and I can also go "live" and see video (with SOUND so I can hear a conversation). It's made by a company called ASTEK. The set up is easy. Cameras are a HUGE deterent to crime. Your son WILL tell his buddies that there is a camera in the house. It really helps me feel safer.
My son is homeless. Living in the next town over doing who knows what to survive. In order to cope with it, I am working a program (12 step in Naranon and Alanon). I am working the program I wish he would work as though my life depends on it.
It does.
gentle hugs
ke
I don't trust him now. I installed a security camera in my house--he got very upset about it. Hmmmmmm.....no need to get upset about a security camera unless it's going to catch you doing something you shouldn't be doing. It was NOT expensive. It sends pictures (motion sensor) to my email if someone is in my house and I can also go "live" and see video (with SOUND so I can hear a conversation). It's made by a company called ASTEK. The set up is easy. Cameras are a HUGE deterent to crime. Your son WILL tell his buddies that there is a camera in the house. It really helps me feel safer.
My son is homeless. Living in the next town over doing who knows what to survive. In order to cope with it, I am working a program (12 step in Naranon and Alanon). I am working the program I wish he would work as though my life depends on it.
It does.
gentle hugs
ke
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Windblown, please know that what has been said here, as harsh as it may sound, it the truth coming from those who have been there. It is a very harsh, sad truth, one that no mama should ever have to know. But we do, and it hurts terribly, but we also get through it and survive, a little stronger for the lesson.
If you are like me, you will do what your heart tells you do do...and you quite probably will get hurt again...I pray not, really I do.
Just know that whatever you choose to do, we are all walking with you here and we will be here to help you along the way.
If you are like me, you will do what your heart tells you do do...and you quite probably will get hurt again...I pray not, really I do.
Just know that whatever you choose to do, we are all walking with you here and we will be here to help you along the way.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
No wonder you are "windblown". You are caught up in an addict tornado. I'm sorry for your pain. I can see that you aren't in a place where you are able to draw up firm boundaries for yourself. But I'm pretty sure you know what's going to happen when he moves hom, right? He's not going to quit using. He's not going to quit dealing. And you are going to be stuck trying to enforce your boundaries. I hope that when it comes down to it, you are able to be strong and able to stand your ground without an overabundance of drama.
He is a drug dealer and an addict. He is very resourceful. He will find somewhere else to stay that is more suitable to his life choices IF you let him go. Letting him live at home only protects him from feeling the consequences of his actions. Stay safe and keep 9-1-1 handy. Guns and drugs are NEVER a good combination.
Are you attending al-anon or counseling? Allowing addicts to live inder our roofs and manipulate us makes us even sicker than they are. And we need help to recover. That's why Al-anon or Nar-anon are so strongly recommended.
Enabling is such a toxic behavior. To the addict and to the enabler.
You can't control him. You can't fix him. When he's ready, he'll change on his own. But he won't change if you don't change first.
He is a drug dealer and an addict. He is very resourceful. He will find somewhere else to stay that is more suitable to his life choices IF you let him go. Letting him live at home only protects him from feeling the consequences of his actions. Stay safe and keep 9-1-1 handy. Guns and drugs are NEVER a good combination.
Are you attending al-anon or counseling? Allowing addicts to live inder our roofs and manipulate us makes us even sicker than they are. And we need help to recover. That's why Al-anon or Nar-anon are so strongly recommended.
Enabling is such a toxic behavior. To the addict and to the enabler.
You can't control him. You can't fix him. When he's ready, he'll change on his own. But he won't change if you don't change first.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 278
We just picked him up from detox. We went over the new rules of the house and told him no car or cell phone for awhile until he started to slowly gain back our trust by working his program. We told him he could use his motorcycle to get to meetings, college and outpatient rehab. We told him we loved him and supported him in his recovery but that he was not allowedmto hang around any of the drug dealers and buyers that we wrote down from his cell phone. He was in his room five minutes when he said he couldn't do this. He wanted to leave. He wanted his car and phone,packed a few bags and left. I am in shock. After everything we have done for him...he just doesn't care. He has no money, no where to go. I told him to re think it and that it was a big mistake but he was very calm, told me and mynhusband he loved us both and left. It was his car, titled in his name...a gift from his grand father. We had to let him go. Then my husband texted him and told him if he ever wanted tontalk to please call. He texted back...can I borrow $20.00 for gas...I'll pay you back tomorrow. And my husband gave it to him! I told my husband never to do that again! He made the choice to leave...now he has to deal with life without all our support...it can't be both ways. My husband who has been the tough one just broke down and said he probably needed to talk to some one or go to alanon
too. I can't believe he just left the house with a few clothes. He didn't care that we tried to help him. He didn't want to live under the new rules. So he's gone. He said he was sorry and said he loved us but that he just couldn't do this.
I cried and begged him to stay but he was already planning this I think. He didn't like the rules or the drugs are callingnhim. My husband told him never to come to the door withoutncalling first and that he was no longer welcome here if he hookednup with the druggies which he ismprobably doing. Perhaps his brain is fried from the drugs? He doesn't even know how to pay for his insurance but he will. He made the choicento leave and it's up to him.
I am just in shock. Five minutes he was gone...no thanks for the detox
treatment...nothing. He didn't eveN clean his room. What a weird occurrance.
But you know, I actually feel some peace. At the same time, I don't think this is over.
too. I can't believe he just left the house with a few clothes. He didn't care that we tried to help him. He didn't want to live under the new rules. So he's gone. He said he was sorry and said he loved us but that he just couldn't do this.
I cried and begged him to stay but he was already planning this I think. He didn't like the rules or the drugs are callingnhim. My husband told him never to come to the door withoutncalling first and that he was no longer welcome here if he hookednup with the druggies which he ismprobably doing. Perhaps his brain is fried from the drugs? He doesn't even know how to pay for his insurance but he will. He made the choicento leave and it's up to him.
I am just in shock. Five minutes he was gone...no thanks for the detox
treatment...nothing. He didn't eveN clean his room. What a weird occurrance.
But you know, I actually feel some peace. At the same time, I don't think this is over.
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