summer017

Hi keepinon

I am so happy to hear about your daughter! I hope that you are able to take this time and regroup.. do things that make you happy, give your mind and body time to relax cause Damnnn! You deserve it!

I keep you and your family in my thoughts

xoxo

keepinon

Ok sooooo..Here comes the codie in me! She called last nite wen I aske dhow she was she said"bored'. I immediately internally freak out and then say"how can you be bored? There's swimming, pingpong, ropes course? I hope you use this time wisely!" So who is in danger of relapsing here? Codie mom thats who. I would really love to control her treatment! I did this last time too until one of the counselors basically told me to let them do their job...yikes. That makes her sober for 7 days and me for none! Gues thats why they don't give chips in alanon

tjp613

Yeah, well, there's something about paying for treatment (in more ways than one) that makes you want to control it! That's natural. At least you recognize the behavior as a negative one and that's HUGE! Next time you'll do better.

vaya

I'm so glad she came to you and especially wants to stop using. I pray she can hang in there a little longer and make it to the rehab. I think it's great you were there for her when she reached out and that God has brought you together again.

Impurrfect

(((Keepinon)) - sorry I'm late on this, but add my prayers for you and your AD.

It's totally normal for us A's to feel "bored" when we are first clean. We're used to spending all our time getting our dope, using it, trying to hide the fact that we are using from everyone (except other users) and there's just a lifestyle that goes with it all...total chaos and drama.

It took me a while to not crave that excitement...more time than it took to not crave the dope. She's in a good place, though, to talk out those feelings with people who understand exactly what she's feeling. It's sort of like you were a year ago...on the verge of panic attacks, and where you are today. You got help from al-anon, and she's getting help from the people she needs to.

So, take care of you, and let her do her As much as we A's may whine, pout, pitch a fit, etc., we truly need to own our own recovery. It makes it that much more worth holding onto.

You're doing a great job, and I'm really glad she's safe.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

tjp613

Amy -- just want to say that I so much appreciate your input on the F&F board here. Your perspective is incredibly valuable. THANK YOU!!!

keepinon

I so agree..really appreciate the perspective! Hadn't cried at all and really let it go last nite w/my husband. All the feelings came up, seeing her with needle marks in a hospital bed, all the lies. how close she has come to killing herself, that I don't want her to be an addict, that I'm tired and if she doesn't make it this time I'm not sure how much I have left in me. Sometimes I want to yell at her to look at all the destruction she has caused..and she has the nerve to say she's "bored'! It's boring doing a 5 hr bonzai trip to take her to rehab, boring to cancel my plans to pack her up..again..Boring to make sure she has everything the rehab needs, etc. BUT, none of that is good for me. I am grateful (so grateful) that she asked for help. Just terrified she is not gonna make it. Between my surgery, her 2 rehabs, and having to be on disability for who knows how long (not to mention I need a new transmission), I also feel like I am in the middle of a financial tsunami. BUT, I know we will be ok, just take time to get back up on our feet. Then after crying last nite got on here and the first post I read is from some poor mom whose son overdosed. I know I am not in control, I know that you can't have fear and faith, and I know the root of all suffering is non acceptance of the way things are, but right now, today its all just a little too much. (Did I mention i am throwing husbands bday party today?)It will be good to be around friends though. Thanks you guys for letting me rant..I realy neede too!

Freedom1990

I have been guilty many times of getting so caught up in the daily BS of life that I didn't even take 5 minutes or so to be still, to talk to God, to make sure I had that conscious contact with my higher power.

At any given moment you can stop, be still, and ask for a little guidance and help, no?

:ghug3

whatwentwrong

I know your fear and worry all too well. Be thankful for your husbands birthday party today and don't think about the fact that your daughter isn't in attendance. She is safe. You need to take care of yourself! It wasn't something I always did and in one way or another...you pay for it.

I will be sending you prayers and thoughts of joy as you celebrate your husbands birthday. Grab onto the moments of peace and normalcy...they are there for you to enjoy today! : D

Big Hugs,
Jansie

tjp613

Just a really big hug for you, sweetie....:ghug3 You're on my mind.

Wisher

Heartfelt prayers for you, keepinon, and your daughter.

Angelic17

Hello Keepinon, How are things going? How is your daughter doing in rehab? I sure hope things are going well. It's a really tough situation, and I know what your going through. I have been through it many times already with my only child. He is well for today, and I'm thankful because I know it could go sideways at any given moment. I take nothing for granted any more. Let me know how your daughter is doing. I am concerned. I hope that GOD blesses her and heals her. Let him send angels to shield her from the suffering of giving up the drugs.

chicory

Keepinon,

Just re-reading your posts here, and all the comments. What a blessing this place is .

I am thinking of you and your trials. I can imagine , a little, your fear and pain of the things of the past with your daughter. I commend you, for "Keepinon"-love your name. it always makes me think.
I especailly liked the comment of "we can always get still and connect with our Higher Power" and think that is so true.

Just for today- I am going to go back, like yesterday, and think on the serenity prayer. it helps me to define what I should do, and what I can give myself a break on.

hugs to youhon. we are here for you, and will be. your surgery is soon, right? Is there gonna be a long recovery? that may seem like a piece of cake, after all the storms you have gotten through, with your HP as the captain.

big hugs today,
and continued prayers for you and yours.

you are appreciated,
chicory

keepinon

A little update..talked to AD last nite and she sounded so good. Life back in her voice ..when she came to the phone I could hear her laughing and joking with her friends.Told me how much she loves me.Really nice phone call.

chicory

WOW- awesome!

tormentedmirror

I know how good that feels. ((((((keepinon)))))))

gotahavfaith

It is always nice to "hear" their smile again isn't it, Keepinon. I am glad that you are getting some peace.

Gotahavfaith

Angelic17

This is great news. I'm happy to hear that she is laughing and feeling better. She is still so young, and she has so much potential. I'm still praying for your girl, and thanking GOD for answering our prayers.