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Funny codie moments

Old 09-09-2009, 01:34 PM
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Funny/strange codie moments

time for a little laughter, don't you think.wouldn't you like to share yours?

once i was playing sherlock holmes i guess and hid in this tiny crawl space under our house trying to catch my ah doing whatever it was that made his behavior so strange. looking back, i wonder who's behavior seemed the strangest.

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Old 09-09-2009, 01:49 PM
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Once I chased my now ex and the ***** he was cheating on me with down a suburban street with my car. I drove about 60 miles an hour in the lane normally used for oncoming traffic. I tried to run them off the road. I was the sober one.

Oh wait. Are these supposed to be funny?
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:57 PM
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Ok, I have to say if I saw you hiding in a crawl space waiting for your AH to show up I would think you were the one doing the substances. I say this with understanding and compassion because we have all been there. I'm no better. I used to sneak outside at night when XABF passed out to look in his truck to see how many empties he had and if he had marijuana hidden in there as I believed he was smoking pot on top of the beer. I would take the pups out for a walk and stop to look in the truck on the way back into the house.

Once I was in my pajamas with both dogs one of whom thought we were going for a drive and bounced into the truck knocking a 12-pack of empty cans out onto the driveway that went careening and clanging everywhere. I tried to grab him out of the truck and hit the panic button on the keys making the alarm go off. The other dog panicked and started barking and bolted for the house dragging me backward onto my azz in the driveway.

I was saved the embarrassment of my pathetic display in that XABF was too drunk to notice the noise and didn't get up, and I suppose the neighbors didn't care or had seen me out there enough nites to know what I was up to.

Was it worth confirming what I already knew....hardly. Still funny in a pitiful way, though.

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Old 09-09-2009, 02:12 PM
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and then.........i promptly left.

Amen to that!
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Old 09-09-2009, 06:28 PM
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Awww, man....let's see...

I broke into his voicemail. Then changed his PIN code.

Broke into his email. Then changed his password. Multiple times. I'm a helluva hacker, I must say.

Would sit in my cold car at the end of his street in the wee hours of the morning, waiting to catch him doing something...what it was, I'm not exactly sure...cheating on me, coming home high, all of the above?

I would go through his wallet, looking for any kind of incriminating evidence of cheating or drug use.

A few times, when he would take off for his weekend binge, I would actually drive into some of the WORST neighborhoods in West Philly and slowly cruise the blocks of crackhouses, hoping to find him. WTF was I thinking???

Man, I sure don't miss those days. It is such a RELIEF to be married to a great guy whom I trust 110%. But more than that, even if I didn't trust my husband so much, now I at least know that anything he does is on HIM...not about me. I love him to death but if something bad happened, I know that life goes on. I'm a survivor.
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Old 09-09-2009, 07:19 PM
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Searched his car for his hiding spots. Popped up on him at his house (I had the key). I tried being a CSI chick or something by slowly turning the lock thinking he wouldn't hear it and to come and find out the padlock was on. What a dumba$$ I was?!

The only sane moment I had is when he relapsed a second time and I saw the images of the checks he stole from me on my screen, I got up from the computer, started packing his stuff, all the while he's in the kitchen asking for a hug. WTF? Are u kidding me? Once all of his stuff was packed in his one little duffle bag and the other stuff was thrown into one pile on the floor he knew he had to leave (a previous boundary I set up). Wow, that was a moment of strength for me and it felt damn good. I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Then after he left he texted, "I'm so sorry." My response, "Fu*K U." Damn, I'm basking in the glory and strength of that night to not worry about where he was going to go (treatment vs. the street vs. jail). It didn't matter to me. I was free! LOL.
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Old 09-09-2009, 08:08 PM
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THAT is freaking hilarious. :rotfxko
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Old 09-09-2009, 08:30 PM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
I had never seen crack before, but knew what coke tasted like. So, when I found what I thought was a rock of crack in his car, I bit it to prove that he was using.

Root Canal= $800
Crown= $1100
Knowing the difference between a pebble and crack= Priceless
ahahahahahahahahah rotfl omg.... frieking dyin over here!
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Old 09-09-2009, 08:41 PM
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I was going to give one of my crazy storys-- but cynical's can't be topped!!! I'm still laughing.

*(warning-- a bit gross)*

I'd have to say, there were a number of things I've done, but my most famous moment was when I broke into the abf's car, found his stash of 'coke', brought it upstairs, (it was wrapped in a 10$ bill), I gently unwrapped it, dumped the coke and the ten dollar bill into the toilet, went pee---and didn't flush.

went back to bed, Waited for him to have to go to the bathroom. Then I heard "CESSY-- why is there money in our toilet!??"

I said, "I pee'd on your stash-- want a straw?"

Gross, but he was so shocked that i did that that even he laughed!!!
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:02 PM
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Once, I took her my AD the GYN/women's health clinic for a checkup. Well, that was my first mistake. She could have taken herself there. It was a long wait, and she was ready to leave without being seen by the doctor. Somehow, i don't even know how, she talked me into a)driving her in my car to the dealer (this is Newark, NJ, mind you), b) giving her the $ for the drugs, and c) waiting for her in the car while she cops. She somehow convinced me that if only she could get high, she would then go back to the clinic and be able to wait for the doctor. So after she gets high with my $, she talks me into driving her back to her BF - instead of the clinic. Halfway home, I say to myself, "Ooops, I think I got manipulated just then." Ya think?
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:36 PM
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you guys are so funny, i needed the laugh. man, to think about it, its good to be able to look back and have a good laugh while at the same time, seeing how far i have come. i may not be where i want to be but i thank my hp that i'm not where i was.
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Old 09-10-2009, 01:32 AM
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googled all his names and emails and everything.. until I found out he was an addict from a forum.. silly pumpkin used the same name he always uses =/

wasnt funny but it finally opened my eyes. if i didnt find that out I'd be a codie without even knowing what that is and why I've become one
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Old 09-10-2009, 04:35 AM
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I've told this story before here, but it bears repeating on a thread like this, lol, because it was probably my only shining moment of actually enjoying the revenge *oops, did I say revenge?*

I had some dental work done and my dentist had prescribed a few Tylanol 3's for the pain, so I picked up my prescription and also a refill of my hormones while I was at it. When I got home, I hid the Tylanol 3's and just left my hormones on my dresser.

My son, who has a reading disability, saw the new pills and thought they were the Tylanol 3's and took them. When I went to take my pill that night, I saw that the container was missing and hollered his name, and he confessed sheepishly that he had taken them and took about 10 of them and was quite disappointed that they didn't do anything for him.

With a straight face, I told him that they were the same hormones that people who get sex changes use, and that he would grow breasts. He believed me and checked every day for a month

To this day, I still love that moment of revenge, I may surely rot in hell for that but I remember watching him check carefully for any change.

Hugs
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Old 09-10-2009, 06:21 AM
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Cynical-LOL! That is totally something I would have done! Love it!! Thanks for sharing.

Ann-I remember that story and it still makes me laugh! Awww, sweet revenge.. as horrible as it is, it still helps sometimes!

I have also shared this before but it helps to share it again because like Teke said, I am not exactly where I want to be, but I am thankful that I am not where I was. My AH didn't come home one night and I went looking for him at his dealers house. I pulled up to the house, got out, knocked on the door and no one answered even though my AH's car was parked out front. SO...I started screaming and yelling threatening to call the cops and and told them I would drive through their picture window if he didn't come out of the house. I found out later that this guy that was partying with them was convicted of attempted murder and I was THREATENING HIM!! What was wrong with me!!?!?!? It was all about thinking I could control everything and way before I was educated at all in addiction. UGH!

I have also slept on the couch night after night to make sure he didn't leave the house (like I was going to stop him), checked his wallet and cell phone, looked for paraphernalia ALL OVER our house...just driving myself NUTS!

Ahhh.. I still have my moments where that codie in me picks up his wallet or cell phone, I am still a work in progress.. but I don't think I will be threatening any of his dealers anytime soon! LOL! I was such an idiot!

-Daisy
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:35 AM
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Holy mackerel, Cynical One - That was....low down...sneaky...evil...and...AWESOME!

Disclaimer: Alice does not condone, promote, or otherwise approve of illegal behavior, underhanded dealing, or just plain ole naughty cr*p...unless someone really deserves it and the perpetrator is willing to tell the tale anonymously online for the future learning and enjoyment of others.

Alice
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:50 AM
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When he would lock him self in to the bathroom under an excuse that his stomach hurts i would lay on the carpet behind the door hoping that i would see what exactly he is doing.

When he would fall asleep I would go through all his pockets looking for clues.
And I would always check under the mattress. I once found a bag of syringe's and he said they were old. He found them in a garage and wanted to throw them away but didn't want his parents to see them
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Old 09-10-2009, 11:54 AM
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dream, i've done the carpet spy thingy too,lol. don't know what i expected to see other than a pair of feet.
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Old 09-10-2009, 12:02 PM
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speaking of borrowed car, once i called myself gonna find out just where my ah would disappear to for days at a time. i got this bright idea, i'll rent a nice car and just follow him( mind you, he's walking) until i find out where he spent most of his time.

by the time i picked up the car, he had already disappeared so i thought i'd just park down the street from the house and just wait. i finally gave up my mission,5 days later, still no ah and a 400.00 car rental bill that i had to pay off of my little fixed incme. bet i won't try that again, that was rent money.

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Old 09-10-2009, 12:11 PM
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My Addict stole my credit cards and all of the sudden he got new clothes, he got me D&G perfume, then he's clothes disappeared.
So I decided to check my account online and i saw a Macy's transaction for like 50$ more than perfume would cost.
I called my bank, found out which mall was it bought at, I went to that store talked to like 5 different managers and at the end security guy took my card # and checked if on that day D&G was purchased on that card.
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Old 09-10-2009, 12:13 PM
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My addict stole my grandmothers diamond ring out of my jewelry box and traded it or hawked it for money to buy crack. He still insists he didn't do it but it's never turned up. Maybe it will some day...
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