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Grrrrrrrr, I am so ticked at the nurse from Rehab

Old 02-18-2009, 07:27 AM
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Grrrrrrrr, I am so ticked at the nurse from Rehab

My 17 yr olds nurse from Rehab called me today. She was sooooooo rude to me I was floored. She kept repeating herself to me.

She told me that she needed my daughters medical summary from her dr. from over the past few years and that she should have had that before she was even admitted to the rehab center. I told her that we were not aware of that nor were we told. She wanted to know who the box that we sent yesterday was addressed to because our daughter needed her pills and only had enough until Sunday. I told her that I wasn't sure, my husband sent off the package yesterday after he dropped me off at work but it was probably in our daughters name.

She then started to repeat everything all over again and sounded very aggitated.

I finally said "Whoa!" I feel like I am being attacked here!" Then I said, First of all as I told you noone mentioned any of this to us about her needing a dr. summary, I think that we did pretty good as we found out Sunday night she was on drugs, Monday morning I had an appointment for her and Tuesday morning she went to be assessed by the man in charge at rehab which is a little over 3 hours away drive. Friday she was admitted to rehab.

It was like she was blaming us for our daughters drug problem, at least that is how I felt, maybe it is just the guilt that I can't get rid of that made me feel that way I don't know but she was very unproffessional.

anyhow, had to vent. I am still in shock over everything, still having crying periods then anger etc.....

She never even apologized for her poor behavior. I said to her at the end of our conversation that I will be calling the man in charge because I really did feel like I was being attacked.
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Old 02-18-2009, 08:18 AM
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Oh my gosh i went through that exact scenario a couple of weeks ago. My son had been in the rehab and had all his medical work in order. Then he ran away - they made him wait three months to go back. So the thursday before he is supposed to go in they get word to me that i have to update it all again (meaning many doctors, dentist, eye doctor appts) there was no way to get it done. they finally agreed to just getting a physical and tb test. We show up the morning of his entry and they reject him because of medical reasons. I felt like the nurse was not wanting him in there. Finally three days later they took him after we jumped through tons of hoops and i kissed a lot of but. It was frustrating to say the least - mostly because they were double-talking and accusing me of not taking care of things i should have known about (even though they never told me). She was lecturing me on my son's diabetes as if i didnt know anything about his disease. I in fact, know quite a bit more about his disease then she did and that was just insulting my intelligence.

I had to step back, calm myself and remember that this nurse had control of whether or not my son got in the program. So I used it as a way to show my son that sometimes even when we're right and someone is rude or ignorent we have to get along with difficult people. I just told her that this must be a communication error and that i would do what they needed. The mom in me wanted to shake her and yell but it would have gotten me no where. To that nurse its a job - she has a checklist she uses and never strays - its not personal. To us, its our child and extremely personal.
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Old 02-18-2009, 10:17 AM
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I had a recent run in with an intake woman who accused AS of lying to me regarding an open bed/date/time etc.
Thing is, she left the message on my phone. If I would have known how to do it, I would have played it back for her.
I bit my tongue and am embarrassed to admit I broke down in tears (somewhat on purpose) to get her to back off.
She held all of the cards, and both SHE and I knew it.

I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around and these people who rely on the bully tactics run into their match at some point.
Love to be a fly on the wall then
(((Hugs)))
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:12 PM
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Wow, you two have had horrible experiences too.....(((HUGS)))

I called the man in charge of the rehab center and told him everything that happened. I didn't leave any detail out. I let him know that my husband and I are still in mourning, shock etc with everything and that I felt if this is the way she treats the families of loved one's then she is in the wrong career.

He was so nice and understanding. I think that he must have had complaints about her before or something, he didn't say but he was going to talk to her as soon as we finished our conversation and it is my understanding that he is also going to take it up with the board.

The feeling I got from her this morning was that she was the one in charge and that our hurt and pain was of little or no importance to her.

I have been reading the sticky's and they have helped a lot...I am like yes, that is what it is like, or yes, we have gone through that etc. There are no meetings in my area however, at least not listed. I will inquire with the man who does meetings with the kids from school to see if he knows of any.

You all have helped so much, I am truly blessed to have found you all.
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by winnie12 View Post
Oh my gosh i went through that exact scenario a couple of weeks ago. My son had been in the rehab and had all his medical work in order. Then he ran away - they made him wait three months to go back.
What happened with your son durring those 3 months of waiting? Did he stay home with you or did they place him somewhere so that he could still get the help he needed until he was able to be admitted back into rehab?
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by lovemykids View Post
What happened with your son durring those 3 months of waiting?
He was in jail for half and then home with me on house arrest with an ankle monitor for seven weeks. Seven very LOOOONG weeks. He couldnt even go to school during that time (because that's where he did the majority of his drugs). But we didnt end up on the 6:00 news so i guess we did pretty good not driving each other too crazy. Even i wouldnt want to be locked in the house for 7 weeks with my mother - and i adore my mother.
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Old 03-02-2009, 04:59 PM
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Hey Love, I went through so much when I had my son in rehab also. Some of those counselors are nasty and rude, and they do attack us. I had one counselor release my son at 12.30 at night in the middle of NY due to some insurance glitch. I went nuts. But, they are in charge, and we have to eat crap cause our kids are in their care. I just try to kill people with kindness when they treat me poorly. Especially when it comes to my kid, cause if someone messes with him, WATCH OUT!!! Hang in there. Things will be better soon. One day at a time. How is your girl today? Every day clean is a milestone. She will heal, she is young, and strong. Pray Pray Pray I will pray for her as well.... Angel
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Old 03-02-2009, 08:01 PM
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Hiiiiiiii, thanks Angel

I just got off the phone with my ad and I couldn't believe the change! She actually sounded happy and when I asked her about her withdrawals she said that she hasn't had any now for almost two days! Doing a happy dance here lol. Told her how happy I was that she was feeling so much better and also again I mentioned to never forget that feeling of pain she went through and she said "I know mom, it was really horrible." At least this is a step in the right direction, I know that we still have such a long road to travel so I am embracing today.I am on cloud nine right about now though, her voice was the voice I have longed to hear for so long. Today is my birthday and what a great gift from God. I didn't bake a cake this year though, my heart earlier just wasn't in it.

Angel, I am horrified how they released your son not to mention the time of day or I should say night and in New York city???? What was that counselor thinking? He is obviously in the wrong career. I am so sorry you and your son had to go through that

I never heard back from the nurse nor did I ask for a follow up.
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Old 03-03-2009, 09:10 AM
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6

oops, i just realized yesterday was your birthday. i hope it was alright.
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Old 03-03-2009, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by k1a2t3h4r5y6n7 View Post
6

oops, i just realized yesterday was your birthday. i hope it was alright.
Thank you so much
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Old 03-08-2009, 05:02 PM
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you all are in my prayers for such harsh treatment, it does sound as tho some of those people are IN THE WRONG JOBS prayers and hugs
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Old 03-09-2009, 05:33 PM
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Oh my gosh, I can't believe people were rude like that. Anyone I came in contact with (5 rehabs) were nothing but wonderful.
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Old 03-10-2009, 08:26 AM
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I couldn't believe how rude she was either and to top it off my ad called the other night to say how this nurse was like a dr. and this nurse told my ad that the speacialist should have prescribed her to take a whole hormone pill each time not just half of one and that the speacialist didn't give her the right amount to take........the nurse booked her an appointment with a dr. on the 23rd of March.

I am going to talk to the man in charge again and ask my duaghter what gives her the impression that this nurse is like a dr.? I am offended that this nurse also told my daughter that by taking 1/2 of her hormone pill did nothing for her....

We get to see our ad for the first time this upcoming Saturday, it will have been 5 weeks since we last saw her. I am really excited about seeing her
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Old 03-10-2009, 09:21 AM
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it certainly sounds like some of these nurses and counselors are in the wrong field. They sound just like a judge I once heard in court say "when will you A's learn" :wtf2
these people don't seem to realize that addiction is a disease and there role as nurse, counselor or judge does not give them the right to be so cruel.

I'm glad that your AD is doing so much better & what a wonderful birthday present for you.

Enjoy your visit this weekend.
Hugs,
Chris
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Old 03-10-2009, 09:58 AM
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I worked in social services for four years straight after college. Some of that involved working with people in treatment.

Here's what it looks like from the professional side of the fence:

Family members are very hard to work with. They are emotionally raw and over-react to every little thing - they're very sensitive and very defensive. Family members are often suffering some emotional and mental health problems as a result of the addiction or alcoholism in the family. Issues over medical records or paperwork or insurance cards become an excuse for family members to relieve stress by yelling at staff members.

Family members are very reluctant to take responsibility for how their conduct has enabled the addict/alcoholic to continue their destructive lifestyle. They'd much rather yell at the staff then change their behavior. (Example: I once had a mother chew me out for an hour because I suggested as politely as possible that giving a 14 year old drug addict $500 month in allowance money is a bad idea.)

Family members are pawns for their addicts and alcoholics. Addicts and alcoholics work very hard to play the treatment staff and their family members off against each other. They're feeling very sorry for themselves. They usually don't want to be there or do what they're required to do for their treatment. They'd much rather call their family and get some sympathy than follow the rules or engage in treatment. If they can get the treatment staff and the family to start fighting, they can take their staff and family's attention away from treatment for the addict/alcoholic. Addicts and alcoholics often lie to their family members to start those fights. You can pretty much count on the family member believing the addict or alcoholic rather than the staff, even though they know that addicts and alcoholics lie a lot.

Family members are not to be trusted, until you're sure that they are trust worthy. One family member may be really pushing an addict/alcoholic into treatment, but the rest of the family may not be on board with this. Some family members will go so far as to sneak booze or drugs into the treatment center for their alcoholic/addict. (One older lady told me that she brought her adult son beer because she couldn't stand seeing him suffering through detox. He drank the beer and checked out the next day.)
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Old 03-10-2009, 12:23 PM
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Hi Kallista,

Thanks for your experience and views from your side of the fence.

One part in which I don't understand however is how this nurse with whom I had never spoken with before could be so rude right up front. I work at an elementary/high school and if I treated the parents of these children like that I am pretty sure that my job would be on the line. I do know that the parents a lot of the times believe their children when certain incidents occur, however, this does not give me just cause to insult them and if I had insulted them as soon as the parent brought it to my attention I would have at the very least apologized for offending them. I am only comparing parents and professional staff members, not addicts versus non addicts.

In any case, the nurses behaviour towards me was unacceptable.
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Old 03-10-2009, 02:51 PM
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In all honesty I hadn't actually thought of the nurse until today replying to the new posts and of course when I talked to my daughter the other night.

I will be finally seeing my ad this Saturday for the first time in about 5 weeks, I am really excited .
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