Help MyJoey 17 years olds
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Well Winnie & Friends
I kind of know how you feel. My day was not as bad as yours was yesterday, but today I found out my son will not be going to JD. The police officer just called to tell me he personally took the papers down and talked to the PO, she said it was not enough to put him in detention. While my heart is glad because I know I would have cried buckets till he was released. My head knows this would have been one of the best things to happen to him, a real wake up call since he always seems to get off easy. The officer does however say that he explained to her that Joey has a real problem with drugs and fortunately Joey's report from the 1/2/09 arrest was laying on her desk. She told the officer she was going to really push to get him into a state rehab.....I sure hope so because here in PA they try that as a last resort, which to me this is our last chance. Just this past week I found weed on him, the next day caught him smoking weed in the bathroom and then yesterday found a bag of pills in his car............this is just what he got caught at, who knows how much more there is. Now he is doing all this thinking the police are coming to get him at anytime. I have already had him quit his day job (He is in school half day and works half day) because I didn't want him getting arrested there (We got him this job and the owners are customers of ours that would not like the police showing up). I sure hope they push these papers into court soon, because I'm afraid he is going to try and do all the drugs he can before all this comes down. What to do till then?
I kind of know how you feel. My day was not as bad as yours was yesterday, but today I found out my son will not be going to JD. The police officer just called to tell me he personally took the papers down and talked to the PO, she said it was not enough to put him in detention. While my heart is glad because I know I would have cried buckets till he was released. My head knows this would have been one of the best things to happen to him, a real wake up call since he always seems to get off easy. The officer does however say that he explained to her that Joey has a real problem with drugs and fortunately Joey's report from the 1/2/09 arrest was laying on her desk. She told the officer she was going to really push to get him into a state rehab.....I sure hope so because here in PA they try that as a last resort, which to me this is our last chance. Just this past week I found weed on him, the next day caught him smoking weed in the bathroom and then yesterday found a bag of pills in his car............this is just what he got caught at, who knows how much more there is. Now he is doing all this thinking the police are coming to get him at anytime. I have already had him quit his day job (He is in school half day and works half day) because I didn't want him getting arrested there (We got him this job and the owners are customers of ours that would not like the police showing up). I sure hope they push these papers into court soon, because I'm afraid he is going to try and do all the drugs he can before all this comes down. What to do till then?
Clever Yak
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Try and keep yourself sane.
There's no reasoning with people like him/me.
I think if I was forced to go to rehab and I didn't want to, I'd be doing the same thing. I'd cram as much junk into me as I could handle and let the world walk by until the police came and got me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Keep praying. I know that my AD had to have that last hurrah the nite b/4 she went to rehab this summer. I couldn't believe it, she's all packed & ready and out she went. Even when she got there the next day, she called me telling me she couldn't stay because they wouldn't allow her to have one of her prescription drugs, well Duh, it was an addictive drug. Long story made short, she did go back the next day. (no I didn't pick her up--her H did)
You just have to keep praying, and remember one day, one hour, or one moment at a time.
:praying
Chris
You just have to keep praying, and remember one day, one hour, or one moment at a time.
:praying
Chris
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Thank you. I just hope we get him to court and hooked up with a rehab fast. This could be weeks till anything happens. He said, she (PO) would try to push it, but what does that mean? My husband is making me nuts with the well, why this and why that.........with the police. Like I can go change the laws. He really wanted him to get locked up at least a few days.
Jason after all you have had to put up with in your short life, after reading here all you would need is someone who really cared and you would stay clean. You know what it feels like to be on both sides. I do think your father loves you the best he can right now.
Jason after all you have had to put up with in your short life, after reading here all you would need is someone who really cared and you would stay clean. You know what it feels like to be on both sides. I do think your father loves you the best he can right now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Julie, I've been there with my husband also. Like we can make the laws change, the outcome change. I've realized that my husband (who doesn't have a program) has no one else to let his frustrations out to.....so that leaves me. 
Thank God I have a program, because if not, I'd totally be nuts 
I'll be praying that your son gets into a rehab soon.
Hugs,
Chris
Thank God I have a program, because if not, I'd totally be nuts I'll be praying that your son gets into a rehab soon.
Hugs,
Chris
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
Dang, I'm sorry. I guess he just has to go further before they're going to step in. I know the frustration well. But I would offer one suggestion - he cant keep bringing drugs in your home. you may need to call the PO if you come across something and let her deal with it. he's obvously not going to stop that just becuase you say so - my thing is if my son wont abide by my rules then i turn him over to people he has to abide by.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Serenity Bound...........LOL I love the little jailed person, I can pretend it's my husband, but I need some duck tape over his mouth yet. You got it my husband is frustrated, but he is taking it out on the wrong people. The poor police who have done everything they can, my husband calls them all the time, but why can't you do this or that? I feel so bad for them.
Winnie............I tell him not to bring the drugs in all the time, he could even leave them in his car (I don't tell him that). He don't he brings them in so he can smoke in the bathroom while he showers or whatever. I find it and take it. Now I could call the police, but I don't because my husband puts them through enough that I don't feel right calling them for every thing, plus I all ready have the double charges coming I'm afraid they may put him in adult jail if I call to much. As of right now he don't have a PO or I would call. As soon as the paper work is finished then he will get the PO. The police man talked to the woman that is going to be his PO once assigned paper work is done. Once he has a PO then I can call and I know they will pick him up. I think the reason they are not putting him in JD now is because he took our jewelry (no breaking and entering), if he had done it to anyone else they would have picked him up. At this point I am not even fighting with him if he wants to go out, I let him (Not sure if that is right or wrong) I am just keeping the peace till things happen. I haven't told him that he isn't getting locked up (Should I ?) He looks like he$$ big bags under his eyes, getting about half sick in the morning which tells me, mushrooms again.....guess he didn't hear there's a recall on them (SMILE). I stopped at the school today just to check on his grades (graduation) he needs 1/4 credit yet and then he is done. All the majors are done, I do want to make sure he finishes school.
Here's the other thing (this really ticks me), the guy he sold the jewelry too, said my son was lying....blah blah. I know my son is telling the truth on this one, he took the stuff to this guy because being under age and he didn't question it. The guy said he only bought scrap gold from Joey (broken stuff, which I did have a small bag of) but he had his license copied twice and on one it said scrap gold and on the other copy it said gold chains. Plus I caught the guy lying a few times just when I was talking to him....so now my son knows this guy broke the law, but he is getting away with it. MAKES ME SCREAM!
How are things with yours, is he getting better so he can go to rehab soon?
Winnie............I tell him not to bring the drugs in all the time, he could even leave them in his car (I don't tell him that). He don't he brings them in so he can smoke in the bathroom while he showers or whatever. I find it and take it. Now I could call the police, but I don't because my husband puts them through enough that I don't feel right calling them for every thing, plus I all ready have the double charges coming I'm afraid they may put him in adult jail if I call to much. As of right now he don't have a PO or I would call. As soon as the paper work is finished then he will get the PO. The police man talked to the woman that is going to be his PO once assigned paper work is done. Once he has a PO then I can call and I know they will pick him up. I think the reason they are not putting him in JD now is because he took our jewelry (no breaking and entering), if he had done it to anyone else they would have picked him up. At this point I am not even fighting with him if he wants to go out, I let him (Not sure if that is right or wrong) I am just keeping the peace till things happen. I haven't told him that he isn't getting locked up (Should I ?) He looks like he$$ big bags under his eyes, getting about half sick in the morning which tells me, mushrooms again.....guess he didn't hear there's a recall on them (SMILE). I stopped at the school today just to check on his grades (graduation) he needs 1/4 credit yet and then he is done. All the majors are done, I do want to make sure he finishes school.
Here's the other thing (this really ticks me), the guy he sold the jewelry too, said my son was lying....blah blah. I know my son is telling the truth on this one, he took the stuff to this guy because being under age and he didn't question it. The guy said he only bought scrap gold from Joey (broken stuff, which I did have a small bag of) but he had his license copied twice and on one it said scrap gold and on the other copy it said gold chains. Plus I caught the guy lying a few times just when I was talking to him....so now my son knows this guy broke the law, but he is getting away with it. MAKES ME SCREAM!
How are things with yours, is he getting better so he can go to rehab soon?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
you need to check and see if your county has a juvenille drug court - not all counties or states do. Drug court was a lifesaver for me. they watch them and everything they do - which meant that i didnt have to. but if he broke the law or my rules then i could tell them and they handled it. they drug test frequently at least once a week. In the beginning they go to court every week and sit in front of the judge and tell them what has been going on. if they fail a drug test - she sends them to jail. if they did something wonderful - she praises them. It is an accountability situation. they have a PO that watches them and drug tests, checks school attendance and grades, a counselor that comes to our home for family counseling, group therapy at the court and the judge who holds them accountable. if they get to the point they need rehab then they help find the most suitable location.
your son wont stop smoking dope in the bathroom - yelling will only give him more reason to do it (believe me i used to be the queen of yelling). consequences is what will curb this - it doesnt have to be jail it can be whatever consequences will work. i would offer a suggestion that you and your husband sit down and figure out what your boundaries are and what the consequences are. then you tell your son and then you enforce it. i did mine publically in the court room when they released my son the first time - everytime i slack off - he goes off the deep end.
your son wont stop smoking dope in the bathroom - yelling will only give him more reason to do it (believe me i used to be the queen of yelling). consequences is what will curb this - it doesnt have to be jail it can be whatever consequences will work. i would offer a suggestion that you and your husband sit down and figure out what your boundaries are and what the consequences are. then you tell your son and then you enforce it. i did mine publically in the court room when they released my son the first time - everytime i slack off - he goes off the deep end.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
Originally Posted by MyJoey 
How are things with yours, is he getting better so he can go to rehab soon?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Thanks Winnie, the only thing I can think of is taking the car........that could work, he wouldn't be able to run right out to get more, he would walk next store. LOL I am pretty sure the PO will do all that stuff here also......I just need him in a rehab, he knows how to get around the test.
I hope things go good for you.............I will be checking in to hear the news.
I hope things go good for you.............I will be checking in to hear the news.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
