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How many times a day do you say to yourself - Unbelievable!

Old 08-28-2008, 02:52 PM
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How many times a day do you say to yourself - Unbelievable!

I think I say it about 100 times.

I can't believe my niece got addicted to meth.

I can't believe she became a drug dealer and has two felonies because of it.

I can't believe she was facing 12 years in prison, got probation and then started selling again (she never stopped using).

I can't believe she lied to me, her po, the judge, the workhouse, my entire family about her use for the past two years, all the time telling us she was clean - and got away with it for so long - even though she was taking UA's at the courthouse every week.

I can't believe she lost another car because she fled an officer, they caught her and in this state that means you forfeit your car.

I can't believe she's "in love" with the criminal boyfriend and tells me she's going to marry him (oh brother!)- and she says he's not a criminal because even though he uses and sells drugs, he doesn't have a felony record (I guess in drug-land, you are only guilty if you get caught).

How blind can a person be?

So now, she has another pending drug charge (they haven't charged her yet, but it's out there), which could mean more time hanging over her head. The criminal boyfriend is working with the detectives now in hopes that they won't charge either of them (nice loyalty - with freinds like addicts, who needs enemies?)

She will do 8 months in jail for the probation violation (fleeing an officer). I'm thilled that will cool the romance a little (I hope).

I can't believe how lucky she is. Even the prosecutor wants to give her a chance becuase she has a college degree, graduated *** laude and is very bright - so after the 8 months in jail, they will put her in a new drug court program.

I am hoping she gets a clue. I guess the new program puts them into 8 months out patient rehab, requires bi-weekly visits to the judge, AA meetings, therapy, etc. And if she messes up again - she's looking at a minimum of 4 years in prison.

I'm hoping some day I can believe she's clean.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 08-28-2008, 02:59 PM
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Sorry you have to see a family member go down that ugly road. I was/am a meth addict, active for 16 yrs and now clean for 81 days. I am thankful (and L*U*C*K*Y*) I never got busted for it. I hope she finds her bottom soon so she can climb up that rope that is there for her and pull herself out before it's too late. Meth Sucks.
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Old 08-28-2008, 03:07 PM
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WoW. Addiction and the wake it leaves to all even close to it is unbelieveable! It does seem that the views of reality shift.... I hope that one day you can believe her that she is clean. As noted by SL above, it is possible and I hope it for both you and her.

SL - congrats on the sobriety and hard work.
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Old 08-28-2008, 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted by IPT View Post
SL - congrats on the sobriety and hard work.


Thank You!!
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Old 08-28-2008, 05:17 PM
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If you have not read it yet read "Addict in the Family". It helped me immensely understand the denial that an addict will use to justify what they do. It helped to give me the ability to separate my daughter from her addiction. Now that she has some clean time, she replays the tape of her drug use in her head and tells me that she can't believe some of the things that she thought and did during her active part. She lost a lot of things that now have become important to her again. Her ex has one month clean and they are in contact again. At first I freaked out and then I realized it is one more thing that I am powerless over. Hope that you can find some peace with what has happened and realize that nothing you could have done would have changed things. Nothing the courts will do to her will change her unless she is Willing to change. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-28-2008, 05:51 PM
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Now that I am clean when I hear and see stories it is weird at first thought to remember how powerful meth is... But when I sit down and think about it or remember it.... or allow myself to go back there to remember..
It scares me almost as much as anything can.

I know how frustrating and angry it can make you to watch someone you love go through this, but on the flip side the one thing you can be thankful for is that it is
not you going through it. Don't know if that helps at all, but in many ways you are
so lucky that you don't understand.
The mental insanity of it all, is crazy scary to me.
It just isn't her time yet.


I'm sorry for your pain, I can only imagine how hard it is.
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Old 08-29-2008, 09:37 AM
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[QUOTE=Troubledone
I can't believe how lucky she is. Thanks for listening.[/QUOTE]


I certainly know what you mean, the unbelievable

but the luck part, I swear, my RAS has some things to clean up (consequences of his actions) but the luck he has is "unbelievable"
I wish had just alittle of it,
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Old 08-29-2008, 10:14 AM
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If you really think about it, it is not really luck. The lucky ones get clean and most of the time getting clean comes with a lot of consequences and pain. Also an addict is stuck with his/her addiction for the rest of their lives. Not someplace I would ever want to be luck or no luck. Hugs, Marle
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Old 08-29-2008, 08:49 PM
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i kinda agree with marle on this one. When I was out there using I used to consider myself lucky because i had never gotten arrested selling or using drugs and never failed outta college or overdosed or got a disease from IV drug use or any of that.

But now that I think back on that, i feel like all that "luck" was what kept me shooting dope for so much longer. I think if I had gotten thrown out of college or arrested or any of that I would have woken up a lot sooner and done less damage to my mind.

Troubledone- never give up hope, some day she will be clean and this situation you find yourself in now will be nothing but an afterthought. Addicts get clean everyday, the sad thing is the media and people tend to only focus on the ones that do horrific things in addiction and keep on using, however there are many success stories out there. I hope your daughter(you didnt specify if that was who the addict was, i am only assuming it is) will be one of those stories
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Old 08-29-2008, 10:58 PM
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I do find myself still saying "unbelievable" because it is. It's an incredible, terrible, nasty, unbelievable disease. and no respector of persons (as evidenced by the college degree).
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Old 08-30-2008, 12:23 AM
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How many times a day do you say to yourself - Unbelievable!
Too many.
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Old 08-30-2008, 04:18 AM
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Hi TroubleDone. I'm sorry to hear you are having to go through this right now. All that I can say is that at some point.....her chances are going to run out and maybe, just maybe at that point, the reality of it all will be scary enough for her to want to change.

I say "unbelievable" too many times a day to count. I am also one of those people who is on that rollercoaster ride that never stops until you decide to jump off. Well, I don't like heights so I stay on the ride. Don't like the flips and turns either but all I can see if I jump off is severe pain. I think I will stick with the nausea and anxiety for now.

I know God must be trying to teach me something by this experience. Strength maybe? Patience? I'm not sure. We must be some of the most patient people out there. Sitting quiet, absorbing all the lies and just listening to our loved ones. I know that they say knowledge is power but I tell you, the more I read, the more scared and depressed I get. The statistics, the signs someone is using. The truth stares me back in all of these posts and makes me sick to my stomach.

This is not an easy situation for us family and friends but like they said above, as angry as we might get at them sometimes, a lot of these addicts cannot help it. If you go into the Narcotics forum, check out the post "To Callie". It describes what the addiction does to their brain. SCARY!!!!!

Well, talk to you soon. Hugs & Prayers
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Old 08-30-2008, 09:59 AM
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Originally Posted by marle View Post
If you really think about it, it is not really luck. The lucky ones get clean and most of the time getting clean comes with a lot of consequences and pain. Also an addict is stuck with his/her addiction for the rest of their lives. Not someplace I would ever want to be luck or no luck. Hugs, Marle

this luck i'm talking about is silly stuff, like, while we were on vacation, (16th floor) he's on the balcony with his ipod in his ears and the ipod on his lap, he stands up the ipod goes over the balcony, missing the rock wall below and the steps below and going between the 2 (about 3 feet wide) and landing in the sand, ipod saved. if it were me BAM right on the rocks it would have gone.

he has this kind of silly luck all the time
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