Impurrfect

When I started doing medical transcription, it took me 8 hours to do a 2 page report, so I totally understand the transcribing.

Doesn't surprise me about your sister being kicked out, and I'm glad your niece told your husband about it.

Enjoy the bubble bath, novel and nap.

BTW, I LOVE your sarcasm

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

rozied

I found your thread the otherday & just read the latest. I am so glad you got temporary custody of your niece, Hope & pray that your niece stays safe with you until the time comes ( if it ever does ) that your sister is well enough to provide her with a good home.
Your whole family is lucky to have you.
Diane

greeteachday

I hope you have a peaceful day today. I think it is so important to find some time for you in all of this.

Your emotions seem so normal to me and I am glad that you are expressing them here. I can't imagine the hurt of working so hard to help your niece and then be characterized as the villan. It's only human not to be filled with all happy thoughts in such a role. I think I would be concerned about your mentle health if you didn't feel some bad thoughts!

I hopeyou can keep moving forward step by step and remember that it is okay to let some things slide. Your plate is overflowing - don't sweat the small stuff

SistersHelp

Thanks everyone. I'm so glad there ARE people in the world who understand that we're doing these things for the right reasons. It helps a lot.

I've changed my self-care plan by coming to work today (because if I stay home I have to make plans for a substitute teacher which is almost as much work as doing it myself PLUS I have to come back the day after and kill all the kids who acted like jerks to the substitute!). Besides, being at work right now is a BREAK compared to being at home.

Instead I am caring for myself by NOT doing anymore of the transcriptions myself. They are horribly depressing to listen to over and over and over again and they take soooo long to do that I have no time left over in my life for anything else. It's worth the money to pay someone else to do it.

As for the counselling homework... I'll just have to squeeze it in somewhere. (Maybe I can get credit for all the impromptu counselling I do at home every day?)

Impurrfect

okay, so AFTER work take the book with you and get your bubble bath

You are amazing, and I wish I was there because I'd do the transcribing for you. Of course, then I'd be ready to smack your sister again

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

baxter

When I graduated from high school, many moons ago, my first job was transcribing for the social services. I could type fast, #1 in our county, but some cases sure were sad, especially in the child service area. Wish I could have helped.

Sorry your special day didn't work out, you deserve it.

Glad to hear your niece is in counseling. It could really help turn everything around as far as her opening up and maybe realizing how damaging/damaged her mom is and how much she needs help. That she'll always be her mom but for now there needs to have changes. Might be short term, might be long term but that she has other people who also love her very much.

Now, for me I'd really love to be a fly on the wall when Impuurfect gets to smack your sister or maybe in a line with all of us.

Prayers for you and all.

SistersHelp

You guys are so sweet. Thanks for your support and for the transcription sympathies! My lawyer said that I can just write a synopsis of each conversation instead of doing the transcriptions because there's lots of innocuous stuff and it's just a waste of time typing it all out. Hallelujah. If the judge has doubts or questions, we'll have the audio there to prove it.

I just got my sister's response to our affidavits, which was infuriating and hilarious at the same time. She listed the true statements in the affidavit as our names, her name, and her daughter's name and date of birth. She listed the false statements as.... everything else!

We are truly starting to find some new kind of inner strength after a couple of weeks of listening to my sister's awful phone conversations. At first we were shocked, and then really hurt and angry... Now I feel like we're starting to get to something more useful. Really understanding how badly this little girl needs protecting and being able to focus on taking steps to protect her rather than on our own feelings. It feels better now.

I see the end of the month looming up ahead, and our next court date is coming soon. I wish I could see how this was going to turn out... but whatever happens, I know we've done all this for the right reasons.

Impurrfect

I'm glad you're getting your strength back. I'm sure this is emotionally exhausting, having to deal with all this, but you are doing a great job.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

liesagain

I think your doing great, its tough but your doing very well your neice is lucky to have you

In the past my AH and I went thru a long custody dispute for his child, the child had been living with his extended family and the thing is the child loved BOTH the extended family and the parent

some of the parties in our dispute were not able to put the child before themselves the child was placed in a loyality bind and it was really difficult for him

eventually with therapy and support he did okay but during the process, the child was told many horrible things and he was made to feel bad and he was taught to lie

I cannot describe the feeling of betrayal when things would be said that were not true

the therapist once told us, that the child has fear of losing the other party if he doesnt "please" that person

and the child went into the therapist and even said basically that he knew we loved him and would be there no matter what so the easiest thing was to please the other party and make sure they didnt get upset

in the end the professionals knew what was happening and that all was considered

basically My thought is your neice KNOWS you and your husband love her and want whats best for her and you wont give up on her if she isnt pleasing you at that moment

but MOM, well she may feel that she has to go along with mom or risk losing moms love

and ya know, no matter how "bad" ones mom is, theres just a need to be loved by the parent in a child even way into the teen and adult years........

hugs and best wishes

SistersHelp

Thank you thank you thank you! I know I keep saying it but I need to keep saying how much I appreciate the support and understanding I receive here. I know there are people here that have experienced similar things, and people who just really get it. It helps so much to have you guys to talk to about it all!

We got my sister's court papers yesterday, the ones she filed to dispute our claim to the interim order. Strange, because our lawyer told us her response isn't actually disputing the custody arrangement, just contesting the facts in the affidavits.

In her infinite generosity, she admitted that we did get everyone's names and birth dates correct in the document, but everything else, she claims, is lies.

Unbelievable! How can she suggest a Supreme Court judge would make a ruling based on nothing but lies? And if everything in those documents is lies... then aren't we just plain old kidnappers? And if we're kidnappers, why hasn't she called the police and had us arrested? Why hasn't she gone to the media?

She's outrageous. I'm really offended by the fact that we are forced to have her in our lives because of her daughter, because she is completely toxic. She has become someone I would cut out of my life completely without hesitation if I could.

Our upcoming motion to the courts asks not only for custody (again) but also for court supervised visitation so that she is no longer permitted to poison her daughter. To me, this is almost as important as the custody. In failing that, the lawyers are requesting a legal order that she no longer be permitted to discuss court proceedings with her daughter... but somehow I think that would be futile. She's already proven repeatedly that she has no conscience.

And another mystery has been solved!

I can't remember if I posted it... but about two weeks ago, we weren't home in the evening two nights in a row (because my niece has a musical theatre class one night, and counselling another night) and her mother was calling every two minutes all evening trying to get ahold of her. When we got home on the second night it was too late (and we were too sick of her) to answer the phone so we just went to get ready for bed. Just as we were about to go to sleep, there was another call and a message showed up on our answering machine. The voice on the machine sounded exactly like that scary woman (remember her?) from The Weakest Link (thank you, goodbye!) demanding that we allow my sister to speak to her daughter and claiming to be my sister's "agent".

Anyway.... last night after my niece's visit with my sister and her Scary Hairy Boyfriend we picked her up and asked how her night was. She said she met Scary Hairy's mother and was delighted by her accent. She imitated the accent beautifully, and sounded EXACTLY like the woman on our answering machine!

I want my detective badge.

Impurrfect

And what a detective you ARE!

I wouldn't worry, too much, about your sisters legal comments. As you say, she's basically accusing you of kidnapping her daughter, but in the meantime she's getting thrown out of various rehabs and has found a new boyfriend. Doesn't speak much of her maternal instincts, now, does it?

The best thing I can see to do is give her enough rope to hang herself as far as the legal stuff goes. The more she spouts off and makes outrageous accusations, the more she is showing how unstable she is, and making you look better.

I know it's hard on you, but you're strong and have a great sense of humor, which helps a LOT!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

SistersHelp

Last night we heard my sister tell her daughter to expect to be "home by the weekend". Huh??

I sent a note to my lawyer with the week's update of Bizarre Events and mentioned this to her. She told me that in fact, although we had planned to go to court on October 31st, my sister can actually push this thing through faster if she gives two days notice. So we may actually end up in court at the end of the week.

I'm of two minds. Of course part of me is just scared and nervous and worrying "what if". The other part of me thinks THE SOONER THE BETTER! (And then I say, "bring it on you psychotic freak" but I only say it in my head so it doesn't count.)

Your positive vibes pointed in our direction will be enormously appreciated. Just be careful with your aim and don't accidentally give my sister any breaks, okay?

liesagain

sister

I wanted to mention one thing about the admit or deny response to the motion~~~really shes not calling you a liar shes just saying shes not in agreement

In our custody dispute I remember being JUST like you the first time we got a response that was exactly the same the only amit was to the names and social security numbers I went to the lawyer freaking out saying this is garbarage all these things ARE TRUE how can they deny them........and he explained that they very well may be true and he knew they were and all it really meant is true or not the other party wasnt in agreement.........

( hope that makes ya feel alittle better )

In your jurisdiction do they have guardian ad litems? People who work for the court to work only for the best interest of the child?

Impurrfect

sending good vibes, hugs and prayers your way.

You don't have to worry about me sending good stuff toward your sister...I know I SHOULD, as I'm supposed to be compassionate, but I haven't gotten to that point with her yet.

I know, I'll just pray she gets what she is deserving of and leave it at that

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

lostparent

Sending prayers that you will be able to save your niece from the insanity. She needs a stable loving home something she won't have with your sister. :praying

SistersHelp

Just got my sister recorded saying she's going to marry one of the guys she lives with at the newest recovery home. She's known him less than two weeks. I was kind of worried... and then my husband reminded me that the chances are very great that they won't be on speaking terms in twenty minutes from now. Gawd, I want this OVER!!

Impurrfect

one more thing to prove she's not stable

I know you want this over, but I have to admit...I always wonder what she's going to come up with next. I do wish, though, that you already had full custody so it really wouldn't matter what she did.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

SistersHelp

Last night on the phone my sister told my niece she'd be coming by on Tuesday or Wednesday night with the police, to pick her up and take her back. This is impossible because our custody order is in place until the end of the month. So either she's planning to bring friends over to pose as police officers, or else she's just making up nonsense which is also entirely possible. Either way, it's scary.

My niece, when she got off the phone with her mother, ran to the bathroom because she thought she was going to throw up. After sitting there with her for awhile, holding her and talking to her, she calmed down and felt better.

My husband called our lawyer to ask if we have to let her visit her mother this weekend while she's doing these awful things to her kid... and the answer, of course, is that we should to show that we are in compliance with the first order which states we must grant "reasonable and generous access".

Poor kid. She confided to me what her mother had said because she doesn't know I already knew. She told me she loves her mom but she doesn't want to go back to live the way they were living before and she's scared that will happen if she goes back. I told her the police couldn't take her like that and that seemed to make her feel better.

At bedtime she asked me to please let her visit her mother even though her mother was saying bad things. I told her we would.

This stuff just keeps getting more and more dramatic. I'm nervous now about a group of fake police storming through my house. She keeps me perpetually on the edge of my seat.



Huge progress. Previously she has said she'd rather live in ANY conditions as long as they could be together. But the fact that her own mom has her crouched over the toilet bowl about to vomit from stress really makes me furious.

Impurrfect

I'm sorry, but glad you were able to reassure your daughter.

Have a copy of your custody order at hand, and since your sister has no court-ordered permission to get her daughter, she won't have a leg to stand on.

I'm sorry this is getting so bad. Too bad someone can't get word to your sister that if she takes her daughter while you have custody, it is a KIDNAPPING charge.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

liesagain

So sorry you and your neice are having to deal with the irrational behaviors of her mother..............

so sad for her to be in such a stressful position. Keep doing what your doing, love, support, security and reassurance go along way.

IF anyone shows up at your house I would suggest that you call the police and ask for a sargent or high ranking police officer and have them sent to your home to help..............I wouldnt let anyone leave with the child who knows what your sister is trying to pull

hugs and best wishes