Chino

I think that goes for everything we do for ourselves, regarding our relationships with our addicts. If it happens to do some good for them that's a bonus because there are no guarantees it will. In fact, I think it's controlling to do it for them in the first place.

When they were kids we had to use tough love because we were trying to shape their character and it was our job. When they are adults they are no longer our job. The only thing we're supposed to be trying to control are our own lives.

katie, I owe you an apology and a retraction about phone calls. I'm not sure what I read into it but if accepting a phone call makes YOU feel better and saves your sanity, then by all means do it. If the calls become too much for you I'm sure you'll stop taking them or cut them short when it's time.

katie44

Chino you owe me no apology at all. This whole addiction thing does not come with any rules. Right now I have made a decision not to accept any calls from him, not right now anyhow to fresh and I really need to look after my own affairs things that I have put on the back burner. Maybe in a few weeks I will let him call. Sojo thankyou for sharing your story with me today, just takes some of longer to grasp what you already have.

hello-kitty

(((katie))) I'm just sorry you are being put through this agony by the person whom you love most in the world.

mooselips

Ahhh Katie,
Hugs to you. This dealing with our sons who are addicts is hard stuff! It's SOOO easy to say, have them arrested!, kick them to the curb! But we're dealing with a lot of hurt and frustration and sometimes it takes us parents a little time before we realize what we're doing, thinking we're helping is actually hurting.



I think you're at the point now to let him go, and make him responsible for HIS choices.

Whatever you decide is the right decision.

The bottom line is "nothing changes, if nothing changes"

Hugs to you, from one mom to another...