Advice Please

Old 04-09-2008, 09:19 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Chino's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Blog Entries: 3
Originally Posted by katie44 View Post
From what the police and drug counsellor have told me charging him will not make him better it only protects us, now he will have to find other avenues for money.
I think that goes for everything we do for ourselves, regarding our relationships with our addicts. If it happens to do some good for them that's a bonus because there are no guarantees it will. In fact, I think it's controlling to do it for them in the first place.

When they were kids we had to use tough love because we were trying to shape their character and it was our job. When they are adults they are no longer our job. The only thing we're supposed to be trying to control are our own lives.

katie, I owe you an apology and a retraction about phone calls. I'm not sure what I read into it but if accepting a phone call makes YOU feel better and saves your sanity, then by all means do it. If the calls become too much for you I'm sure you'll stop taking them or cut them short when it's time.
Chino is offline  
Old 04-09-2008, 09:30 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
Chino you owe me no apology at all. This whole addiction thing does not come with any rules. Right now I have made a decision not to accept any calls from him, not right now anyhow to fresh and I really need to look after my own affairs things that I have put on the back burner. Maybe in a few weeks I will let him call. Sojo thankyou for sharing your story with me today, just takes some of longer to grasp what you already have.
katie44 is offline  
Old 04-09-2008, 09:52 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
(((katie))) I'm just sorry you are being put through this agony by the person whom you love most in the world.
hello-kitty is offline  
Old 04-09-2008, 03:06 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Jujubee Queen
mooselips's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Ahhh Katie,
Hugs to you. This dealing with our sons who are addicts is hard stuff! It's SOOO easy to say, have them arrested!, kick them to the curb! But we're dealing with a lot of hurt and frustration and sometimes it takes us parents a little time before we realize what we're doing, thinking we're helping is actually hurting.

I think you're at the point now to let him go, and make him responsible for HIS choices.

Whatever you decide is the right decision.

The bottom line is "nothing changes, if nothing changes"

Hugs to you, from one mom to another...
mooselips is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:57 AM.