Originally Posted by
katie44 
From what the police and drug counsellor have told me charging him will not make him better it only protects us, now he will have to find other avenues for money.
I think that goes for everything we do for ourselves, regarding our relationships with our addicts. If it happens to do some good for them that's a bonus because there are no guarantees it will. In fact, I think it's controlling to do it for them in the first place.
When they were kids we had to use tough love because we were trying to shape their character and it was our job. When they are adults they are no longer our job. The only thing we're supposed to be trying to control are our own lives.
katie, I owe you an apology and a retraction about phone calls. I'm not sure what I read into it but if accepting a phone call makes YOU feel better and saves your sanity, then by all means do it. If the calls become too much for you I'm sure you'll stop taking them or cut them short when it's time.