So Cal

I still say an in-patient drug program should be the first step if thats a possibility.,,,jail never did me a whole lotta good.,,,I served 7yrs on a 10yr sentence before i made parole,,all i had to do was stay clean,,,even with prison hanging over my head,,,that place where i wondered every day if i would get caught up in some **** and get stabbed,,that place i said id never go back to ,,,they let me out twice and both times i started using again and ended up doing the whole 10 yrs.
Im just saying this so you dont get your hopes up and think that jail is gonna cure him.,,my own mother used to always tell me she liked it when i was in jail cause she always knew where i was then!!,,i started crackin up and we laughed about that,,,of course i never let her know what was goin on in prison and i let her think that there were no drugs in there and that i was safe.,,anyway,,thats just my opinion,,see if you can use this as a way to get him in a program.

Tattoo Tommy

katie44

Actually it wasnt a bank it was one of those shady looking cash places that cashed it. I went to the police station. They were to busy to see me ?????? I have to go back tonite. I feel good about this, good because he is not going to continue any more of this behaviour and not face the consequences. How I wish I had known what I know now 4 years ago. You not what even angers me more. He was a jumper with horses was doing very well it was his whole life ( that is where he first started doing drugs) anyhow he has a beautiful $5000.00 saddle never has he sold it. It wouldnt be hard to sell it for $4000.00. It now belongs to me and I will get rid of it. Its like anything that had sentimental value to him he has kept.

Taffletips

I wish I had smart, wise things to say but I am still dealing with the initial shock of finding out I have an AH. But what I can do is send you hugs and prayers! Sorry that you have been through this but glad that you have this site with all these wonderful people. Again, lots of hugs!:ghug3

splendra

I still can't believe the bank let it go thru when they saw it. Something smells pretty fishy to me....I had a check returned because I misspelled one on the words in the second line on my mortgage payment. I am amazed the bank didn't at least call you and ask about it and I still think you ought to raise hell about it. You might get your money back. Bank employees are trained to catch stuff like that.

BigSis

They steal from loved ones (at first) because they believe the consequences might be less... perhaps the loved ones won't tell. And it works - a lot.

At 21, he is still learning lessons. My addicted kids are 21 and 23...and they would have learned far MORE lessons, if I had not gotten in the way. I had so many ideas of things I could do that would help, I didn't let them face the consequences of their own actions...the best teacher of all.

Change your access codes to all your credit and bank cards. Lock up your cheques, and get a locking mail box for incoming mail... and use the post office for outgoing mail. Do not presume privacy of any sort as long as he is in your home.

If you can, have him leave and change the locks and get an alarm system.


The drug IS that strong.


This isn't personal, but I used to think it was. I took many actions out of anger, then later regretted them... very much, and ended up doing MORE harm by trying to UNDO what I had done.

If you need the money from the saddle - sell it. But if you think you are selling it out of revenge - or to get back at your son, you might sit on that thought for a while.


Alanon helped me see through the fog of what I did that was for ME and the actions I took in order to control another. I was shocked how often I was motivated by the latter.


I wish you the best.


PS... I would hate to have another person in control of my receiving accurate information. If my mother died, I would be livid if the information was withheld from me... even for my own "good". Just my take on that.

((hugs))

katie44

Big Sis Im selling the saddle because I need to pay down some of this credit card debt he has wracked up. I just cant figure out if he needed the drug that bad why not sell his own stuff. You are right I told my spouse about the money last nite, I feel a whole lot better. My son was mortified and started yelling " how could you tell dad when he is under so much stress." amazing how the mind works. I said " how could u do this to your dad when he is not well" He does not live with us anymore we kicked him out 4 months ago. He has a little cheap apartment. I was letting him do his laundry in our home and stay for dinners. Dont know how he pays his rent though at this point don't care. I dont know how you manage with 2 addicted kids, one is enough to drive you around the bend. You sound like you have travelled a long path. Thankyou for your advice.

So Cal

I geuss what ive suggested in my posts are not an option?,,sounds like you just want him to pay for what he has done one way or another.,,I agree with what big sis has said,,dont let anger be the deciding factor in what you do.
tattoo tommy