Parent check in

Old 02-11-2008, 10:45 AM
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Location: dallas texas
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Parent check in

Noticed alot of us are MIA. Hope that is a good sign and others aren't isolating like I did!!

Nothing new here, AD is still gone, no word from/of her. Prayers daily, for her and me. I am good today, had a bad pitiful weekend. Had to make my self remember all I have to be thankful for, I tend to think life w/o AD isn't worth living--espeically when I go to my mom/dad's.

Looking forward to hearing from "you all"--

loving thoughts and prayers,
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Old 02-11-2008, 01:07 PM
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all's well here. Told AS a couple of weeks ago that he could not come back here to live (he's close to getting evicted). But I did lovingly tell him he has a problem with drugs/alcohol and that if he ever decides to get help then i could support that in whatever way i could. More nails out of the scaffolding of his denial. But he bounced out of that by getting family of ex-husband to give him some cash. Last I heard ex-MIL got him a job in a bar.....(how lame is that?).

But, God is good.

Thanks for asking!!
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Old 02-11-2008, 01:16 PM
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Haven't heard from AD since New Year's Eve. No news is good news I am doing okay, staying busy with work,walks, etc. Hubby still looking for a job and getting more hopeless daily, but I try to stay upbeat. Worrying won't change things. Hugs, Marle
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Old 02-11-2008, 01:25 PM
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I talked to my AD this morning. He is doing good on his recovery and keeping a possitive additude. Still has not started looked for a job yet. But he says he is drug free. Still does not want a us to get use to him being there for us if we need something.
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Old 02-11-2008, 01:44 PM
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get it, give it, grow in it
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Thanks Susan for keeping the parent check-in alive.
I am refocusing and remembering what I know about detachment. Putting it to practice one day at a time. I know that fear is the enemy.
As you know, my son was home for 6 mos. and I got real attached to him as he was off drugs for the 1st few of those mos. We did a lot together and had a relationship like we'd never had before. Once his addiction spiraled, it all went sideways. Now he is
M.I.A.. again.
I am starting a home remodel, doing the necessary groundwork in order to reactivate my career and deciding if I want to return to work, making travel plans, etc.
My husband had been working in another state and he is now home.
There is much in my life to have gratitude for.
There is an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach for my son. As the days pass, I know I will be okay no matter how he is living.
It is sad to know he is back in destructive addiction. I miss him. I am practiving Letting go and letting God.
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Old 02-11-2008, 02:29 PM
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Things are wonderful here in the Sunshine state.

Haven't heard from oldest AS since he got all
arky barky during our GF PG discussion.

(No news is good news.)

Meanwhile...youngest AS is doing well,
but has a medical issue going on...

And me? I'm as happy as cheese on a cracker!

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Old 02-11-2008, 04:46 PM
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let it grow!
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my daughter took a full time office job, starting her 3rd week today. she is still drinking and using. no major drama lately, so that's good. supposedly she is moving into an apt in mid march. that would be good for everyone. i'm in kind of a stuck place with alanon and therapy, but i keep going and trying to move myself forward.

mom hugs, k
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Old 02-11-2008, 04:58 PM
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Get Caught Reading
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Thanks for askin', Caileesnana. Hugs to you.

I'm better. Just taking things easy and one day at a time.
Trying to remember too, anyway.
As is better. He's adjusting to lithium. I took him to his doctor appointment today. Out in b.f.e.
Egf had to work. Hey! One of'em is finally working. She paid for the doctor visit, too. Wow!
I took an extra day off this past week. It felt good. Hubby wants me to go down to 4 days a week if it ever gets to be too much for me. He's such a sweetie. I have alot on my own plate right now with the American Girl bookclub and a new one I just started. The Dangerous Club for boys.
Ha! Named after the Dangerous Book for Boys.
Last week, our first meeting consisted of paper airplanes, learning morse code, and talking about slang words for vomit. Yuck!
I had a blast.
That's it for me.
Hugs and prayers to all,
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Old 02-11-2008, 05:36 PM
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remember to breathe
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I love these check ins, thanks for doing one.

RAS is still doing well, one 2 1/2 hour group a week and meetings 5 of the remaining 6 days, he plays hockey on the one day he misses so thats ok by me.
Still walk on egg shells at times but keeping my big mouth shut about it and about his recovery, I don't ask questions, just once in awhile I say "I'm proud of you" he smiles and says thank you. so life is good here.
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:39 PM
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RAD is doing wonderful. She got her 9 month chip a couple weeks ago. She has been doing a scrapbook type book for her wedding ideas. It's cute. As a matter of fact she just called me awhile ago & said, mom what if we were to make the wedding more intemate? Like if just the close family say Jamaca? I don't want to crush her dream but I am hopeing she will come back to earth soon with the budget she was given. Her fiance is also doing great.

I havn't been around much cuz I have really become out of shape. The gym I go to had a "battle of the buldge" you could sign up for. It's like the biggest looser. We have 2 teams of 14 each. Some are looking more to get fit, & some to loose weight. We have challanges every week. I have been working out 6 days a week. Sometimes for 2 hours or more. I also have a personal trainer and nutritionalist that came with the package. I think the trainer might be confused & think I am still in my 20's cuz she is kickin my butt! Nice to hear from everyone!!!
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Old 02-11-2008, 08:47 PM
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Ad is doing well, working and still going to and living at school, now has 8 months clean. Her abf, also 8 months, got his car on the road today, and is gone for a couple days, with all permissions he needed, I hope. But that's not my problem.
I have spent the last week wrapped in duct tape but that's a good thing, for everyone. He's been staying here and I do wonder what the heck I was thinking when I agreed to that arrangement.
I had a good long talk today with a friend I found online and tonight I'm all alone, YES!!!!
Well, as alone as one can be with 4 cats and a dog
Tomorrow when I've got to shovel snow, I may not be quite so happy........
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Old 02-12-2008, 05:44 AM
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Had hopes for AD she said she would go to a 30 day rehab when she got out of jail. Then she found out they ask you to commit to 6m in a halfway house after rehab. Now she says she won't go cause she don't have time for 6m. an her leaving early would look bad to the judge when she tries to get her kids back. Told her there's a difference between getting kicked out an leaving early,that if she were working an had her own place to live I didn't think it would matter she had left early. So things are pretty much the same I guess. All she talks about is getting a job an apartment so she can try an get her kids back. We have told her the kids are safe she can see them when she wants, so she should work on getting help for herself. but it seems to go in one ear an out the other,
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Old 02-12-2008, 06:09 AM
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Just checking in too. Once again I have given the care of my son to God and will spend my day walking in the light.

Hugs to all the moms
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:05 AM
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All's quiet on the home front here in Ceceville.
Still sticking with the quit (smoking), so any drama has probably been caused by me

AS comes and goes, but not often, which seems to work better for us. I'm not sure if he's using, but have decided its none of my business. (whew!)

Thanks for the shout out!
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:36 AM
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Still living life on life's terms...It helps to look at the half full side of things...somehow it makes the glass fuller and fuller Daughter applied on her own to move from community college to a 4 year program; got accepted with full grants/scholarships to cover tuition, so very happy for her accomplishment. She's got a full time with benefits job where she uses her brain and has lots of room for advancement once she gets that degree in another year or two. She'll have 2 years next month and is truly blossoming. It's nice when the times she needs a little help are the typical daughter reach out to mom stuff (like last night; her coworker's car died in the work parking lot leaving them stranded. She had a surprise birthday party planned for her BF that night; trains and buses would not get her where she needed to be on time, so a call to mom. The greatest part to see is the sincere appreciation and gratitude...Even called again this morning to express her thanks)
Hugs for all the parents here...There is hope and things change even when it seems like it will never happen. Prayers for all our kids and for all our addicted loved ones.
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Old 02-12-2008, 08:39 AM
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HI Susan,
Well I was MIA for a while. Just a case of being in a funk. I kind of had to lay low for a while. Sometimes a little isolation is good for me. It helps me to put things into perspective.

RAD is having trouble with bi polar meds. Waiting for her to take charge of herself and get on the proper meds. Right now she is scared to take anything because she was really thrown for a loop when they changed her meds. No relapses, at least that I know of. Other than this setback with meds she seems to be doing pretty well. Still no car or cell phone. Once in a while I let her borrow my phone if she has a date. It has worked out okay. I don't ever let her borrow my car.....she doesn't even ask.

We have a new addition to our family.......we got a dog. We adopted her from Animal Friends. She is 4 mos. old. She is a good puppy. She is all black with white under her chin and white tips on her paws. Her name is KARMA......she came with the name.
RAD said maybe that was an omen for good karma. RAD has been totally responsible for her. Getting up in the morning with her, housebreaking, cleaning up if any accidents.
It is nice to see her being so responsible.

It's great to hear form everyone again.

Hugs to all...............Lo
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Old 02-12-2008, 08:41 AM
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This mama is here, too, just doing my recovery thing one day at a time. Some days I do better than others. Some days I get my focused so screwed up, focusing on the AD or even the other daughter. And when I do that, well, weeeeeeeee, there goes my peace! That's when I reach out. I go to my meetings twice a week and I contact recovery friends on here or in person. Good glory, I am ever so thankful for recovery and the recovering friends God has brought my way.

So I'm keepin' on keepin' on...cause I'm too dern obstinate to quit.

Hangin' In
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Old 02-12-2008, 04:40 PM
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Just giving a very cold Chicago shout out to everyone. I am really sick of winter and the cold....
I know I am not alone, and it could be worse.

RAD (40 days sober) is still living in the halfway house. She is going on week #3. I have stayed out of her recovery but I am very proud of her... skeptical but hopeful. She just got a job, so next weekend she will be allowed to leave during the day on Saturday and Sunday. Keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed.

AS is living with a buddy, we don't hear too much from him.
But, no news is good news, right?

Thanks for the roll call....
Be careful out there.

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Old 02-12-2008, 06:37 PM
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Hey Susan
Another mom checking in.
Saw ?R?AD at Christmas. She told my niece she only came over for the presents. Barely told us hello.
I have surrendered her over to her HP. I am more at peace now. It still hurts; and I will never give up, but I guess today is not the day for us to have a relationship.
Thanks for the check-in.
HUGS to all
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:41 PM
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We saw addicted 19 year old step daughter twice in two weeks! She says she is taking classes and that she got her job back. We were glad to see her. She sounded pretty good and looked good. We pray that God will guide her in her future choices.
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