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Husband made contact with AD

Old 07-26-2007, 03:41 PM
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Husband made contact with AD

My husband called the abf's phone and Megan answered. She and abf can't work, can't do much of anything except drugs. She told me that she does not care to talk to us because she basically does not care about anything except getting enough heroin to not feel sick. We offered rehab, she said she is afraid of the withdrawals. I asked her once again to just text me once a month and she said she would as long as I don't answer her. She is bad off. I told her about the check and that they are going to issue a warrant for her. She said she did not care because, of course, she did not do anything wrong. The abf's mom gave her the bad check. I said okay, then she can tell the judge that and she can go to jail for insufficient funds. Sensing some quacking here Anyway my anxiety is going away. I got to hear her voice and I know the reason we are not having contact from her is that she is deep in her addiction. I know that sounds funny, but I always feel that somehow she has gotten better and has just decided that I am a big b*tch and she just doen't love me anymore (I am sure you moms know what I mean) She told me about the amount of debt she has and I did not offer any solutions except help in finding a rehab. Told her to throw down the shovel and put one foot in front of the other (thanks, parentrecovers) Hugs, Marle
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Old 07-26-2007, 03:42 PM
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(((marle)))
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Old 07-26-2007, 03:45 PM
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Wow. Amazing recovery, Marle. I know it hurts but you are a shining inspiration.

Hugs for you, Mr. Marle and Megan. (((Marle))
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Old 07-26-2007, 04:33 PM
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((((marle)))
Hugs and prayers coming to you. I know how much it hurts. At least you know she is still alive and doing what she wants. I am praying she will take you up on your offer of rehab sooner rather than later.
You are sounding stronger each day. Hugs from another mom missing her child.
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Old 07-26-2007, 04:37 PM
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(((Marle)))
I am glad you got to hear her voice. Wish she was ready for a change, but guess it's not her time yet. I am sorry she is not ready yet. Keeping you in my prayers.
Terri
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Old 07-26-2007, 05:17 PM
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Happy to know that at least you heard her voice and U know where your daughter is.
That is more than I know about my son, so in this "other world" of addiction, count your blessings. My expectations are now that he is alive and that I hear from him once in awhile. Your daughter has met this expectation. All we can do is accept the reality and Hope that one day it will change. Addiction thinking turns them against their own mothers in our cases, as impossible as that is to comprehend. (((Marle))))
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Old 07-26-2007, 05:18 PM
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Marle,
There is still hope. If she only understood that Detox is medically done and there is no withdrawl, no pain. It's not like in the movies anymore. They are treated for the withdrawl symptoms of nausea, vomiting, body aches, anxiety. First 3 days are the worst, but they make it. I pray somehow she decides she wants your help.

At least she talked to her dad, and you know she is alive. Where there is life, there is hope.

Extra prayers for Megan tonight!
love,
susan
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Old 07-26-2007, 05:22 PM
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you're welcome, marle. k
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Old 07-26-2007, 06:13 PM
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thinking of you, marle.
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Old 07-26-2007, 06:30 PM
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Marle, I'm just glad to know that she is alive and you got to hear her voice. There is always hope that when they hear our voice that it will spark something in them.
I don't know how you stay so strong. I wish a little bit of whatever you have would rub off onto me. I feel like such a weakling. Right now I'm dealing with more than I can handle. I'm more distraught over the sexual abuse than anything.
Did she really think you would feel sorry for her about being in debt? How do they afford to buy their drugs? I hate what addiction is doing to our daughters and sons.
Mom hugs are coming you way. Extra prayers for Megan to see beyond the drugs and ask for help.
Luv..........................Lois
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Old 07-26-2007, 07:14 PM
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Marle, so glad that you made contact with Megan. I know that when my son gets
really deep into his addiction he just cant see his way out and he knows how bad
he looks when hes using. He has alot of shame about that, and thats another reason
he doesnt want to see me.
I pray that Megan and Sean will soon get sick of this drug "life style". How is the abf
supporting them? How do they live?
Well, heres a another Mom hug, and Marle,you sound great. Your posts really help
me. Hugs, Stef
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Old 07-26-2007, 07:25 PM
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You know Marle, maybe it would be a good thing if the law caught up with her about the check and she would go to jail. Has she ever been in jail before? At least she could detox. Of course it won't be as pleasant as if she would go to a rehab and detox. But none the less she would get clean. She would have 3 really rough days then a little better after that. My daughter did'nt have too bad of a detox this time in jail because she was detoxing from alcohol and vicodin. She said it wasn't too bad. It was a short relapse. I'm guessing it's harder when you have been using for a longer period of time. Just hoping there is going to be a pathway out of this dysfunctional life she is living,

Hugs.............Lo
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Old 07-26-2007, 07:32 PM
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Thanks everyone. I am staying strong, but I know my anxiety is because of waiting for that call we all dread. Stepanie, they are living with the abf's mother so they are not paying rent. They are not paying any of their bills. He owes child support for his three daughters and owes the IRS big time. His mom is a big enabler but lives hand to mouth herself. I think they are either dealing or running drugs from down south to up here. Lobo, she has never been to jail or in any kind of trouble. Says that she doesn't care if she goes to jail. I really think she is waiting for some alien force or something to intervene in her life Hugs, Marle
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Old 07-26-2007, 07:36 PM
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I just want to offer my support. You're so strong and a wonderful inspiration to us all.
You know, jail sometimes is the best thing that can happen to them. It dries them out, gets them off the drugs and they think a lot clearer. This is what happened to my oldest son.
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Old 07-26-2007, 08:01 PM
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Yup jail would be a dream come true right now. She told my husband that she is doing better because they can't afford a lot of drugs right now. Ahhh the thinking of an addict. Also was p*ssed at me that I would accuse her of shooting heroin. Told me that she had more self-respect than that, but she does smoke crack too. Something she said she would never, ever do. I guess in her warped way she considers not shooting heroin means that she is not that bad yet. I told her that YET was the big question mark. She also didn't remember that she still had health insurance and when we told her 90 days of rehab would only cost her $2500 she said that was a lot of money and then turned around and told me she was at least $10,000 in debt. Addict thinking is so frustrating. One can really see the damage that has been done. I just know that there is not one thing that I can do to help her. And there is not one thing that I want to do to help her. Strange that a year ago, I would have jumped through hoops to give her back that middle class lifestyle. Today I just pray that she lives long enough to gain back some semblance of a life. Hugs, Marle
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Old 07-26-2007, 09:02 PM
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((((((((((((((((Marle))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((Megan))))))))))))))

Thinking of you both and praying for a miracle.

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Old 07-26-2007, 09:18 PM
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Marle,

Wow, I can't believe how late I am in this one. I've been so busy packing up...

Anyways, something hit me when you said that Megan doesn't want rehab because she is afraid of the withdrawals. The last time she went in, Melissa (ras) actually made my father promise that he would come rescue her from rehab if she couldn't do it. He promised, but she never took him up on it. Change in general is a scary thing... it's even more scary when we can't see past the pain we will have to go through as a result or byproduct of this change.

I hope she wakes up soon... maybe she will be arrested. Either way, I am thinking about you.

*hugs and prayers*
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Old 07-26-2007, 09:25 PM
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Marle,
glad you heard from her, thinking of you.
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Old 07-26-2007, 09:47 PM
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Originally Posted by marle View Post
Yup jail would be a dream come true right now. She told my husband that she is doing better because they can't afford a lot of drugs right now. Ahhh the thinking of an addict. Also was p*ssed at me that I would accuse her of shooting heroin. Told me that she had more self-respect than that, but she does smoke crack too. Something she said she would never, ever do. I guess in her warped way she considers not shooting heroin means that she is not that bad yet. I told her that YET was the big question mark. She also didn't remember that she still had health insurance and when we told her 90 days of rehab would only cost her $2500 she said that was a lot of money and then turned around and told me she was at least $10,000 in debt. Addict thinking is so frustrating. One can really see the damage that has been done. I just know that there is not one thing that I can do to help her. And there is not one thing that I want to do to help her. Strange that a year ago, I would have jumped through hoops to give her back that middle class lifestyle. Today I just pray that she lives long enough to gain back some semblance of a life. Hugs, Marle

Well maybe jail detox is what someone up there thinks she needs as opposed to rehab detox. She's just making it that much harder on herself, which could be a
good thing. I will never forget how miserable I was coming off of meth, not as bad as heroin I'm sure, but I don't give a rats ass what drug was worse, lol, I was in
hell and I am so glad, because I don't ever want to go there again.
And maybe that is what she needs, for it to be something she won't forget.
I just went through a heroin detox with a teenager, and it's not fun at all.
But they live. It kind of seems like she is just waiting for something bigger than
her to intervene. I'd be afraid of with drawels if I was her too. She must really be afraid, lets not forget about the Bratwurst.
I'm so glad she's okay, and try not to every worry about her hating or forgetting
about you, it's not going to happen...

Your an Angel.....
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Old 07-27-2007, 04:40 AM
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(((((Marle)))))

I'm so glad that you got to hear her voice and that it gave you some comfort.
Your daughter KNOWS there is a better life out there for her. She also knows that you and your husband love her and will be a part of that life when she wants it. I have no doubt about this. As hard as it is to remember sometimes, just know that your HP is at work in all of this. Your recovery is shining...absolutely shining. I admire your strength more than you know.

Hugs and prayers for all of you...
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