Live

Raerae, you know I have tried to warm some spouses about that...but I have never been heard. Kind of like that's not the issue and it couldn't happen to me.
Have you noticed that or is it just me.

Sorry Best, don't mean to be pugnacious. I let my own aggravations about the drugs and alcohol dichotomy get my goat.

raerae6

yes Live, I know the legal aspects are something that wasn't even on my mind most of the time when caught up in the addict drama.

It wasn't even until towards the end when I started to realize that not only was he putting himself in danger, but that I was in danger as well.

I shudder to think about some of the things that could have happened....

Ann

Good thread here and fair warning for any of us who get so used to the life of living with an addict that we fail to see the danger to ourselves.

We had a member here not long ago who spent over a year in prison and lost her children for taking calls from a dealer, even though she didn't know who he was. It was presumed she knew of the drugs in her home, it was presumed she knew of her husband's criminal activity.

Right or wrong, the laws that allow this are on the books in many states and provinces in Canada.

It's sad, but it's a reality that too many women have had to face.

Hugs

patchoulli

When I was married my husband ended up addicted to oxy and soma after 5 failed back surteries. He ended up selling marijuana out of our home. I truly didn't know until I went looking in the saddle bags for a helmet which had been moved to make room for a bag of pot the size of a football and a scale. That was the end of our marriage. I could have lost my home, my nursing license, god knows what. It is scary.

dollydo

Good thread...

After ex-abf was hauled off to jail I got a loud pound at my front door,it was 5 am. The sheriff's department was looking for him, said something about an incident that had happended the previous week. I proceeded to tell them he had been gone for 2 months or so...they had a search warrent and dogs, I just let them in, the dogs sniffed, the deputy's marched around. Nothing, nada..that I knew, as, he never used in the house or on my property.

They told me, I was lucky, if they found drugs here, I would have been arrested...had something to do with a prositution/drug ring...now, as dumb as ex was/is, that was not his style, he is a loner, really doesn't get involved with anyone.
The thing is, if they had checked their records, they would have seen that he was long gone to prison.

So, the moral of the story is, you never know what can or will happen when you are hooked up with an addict.

tropikgal2

That is EXACTLY why I could not stay with my RAH if he went back to using his DOC (heroin). A Schedule I narcotic in my house would be an instant trip to jail as an accessory. And even if I could prove I wasn't a user it sure would take a lot of $$$ to prove it. Screw that.....I'd rather sleep in my office and shower at the gym!

nevergivingup

After xabf went into prison (one of the times), I got a call from the police precinct saying that my car was involved in a hit and run and that I needed to come down there to answer questions. Needless to say, when I got there it turned out to be a farce, that the car was actually involved in an assault and robbery that xabf had committed. I was detained at the police station for hours and they would only release me if I turned him over to them. If I didn't, they would have charged me the crime. A couple of days later I was being followed by two men. They ended up swerving to trap me into my car and getting out of there's guns in my face and handcuffs on my wrists. They were there to arrest me for aiding in a bedding. Apparently he had robbed several convience stores and was caught on tape beating the store worker. And, since it was my car, and they didn't know who the other person in the car was (the get away guy) it was me they would press charges on. Thankfully, I was able to get out of it! But, it was a really scary and eye opening moment!

Elana

ANY possible "sorry" I felt for XABF leaving has been 100% EXTINGUISHED by reading this thread.

He was freakin' GROWING pot in MY HOUSE. I did not know. He was GROWING it in my BACK YARD. He was CALLING CUSTOMERS from my House! They were calling my house (after he left one of them called me... and I mentioned the scumbag was a drug dealer.. boy that guy could not get off the phone fast enough!).

AFTER he moved out I told him, "You know I could have lost EVERYTHING, my house, my car, my job, because of you!"

His addict response? "Oh you would have tested clean and been ACQUITTED!"

HUH?????? And what law school did you get YOUR degree at and When did YOU pass the BAR???????

Ladies and Gentleman, if your BF or GF is a user, KICK HIM/HER TO THE CURB. Honestly.. Is YOUR freedom and YOUR reputation worth losing for a IllegalDRUG ADDICT and USER?!

hope213

there was a movie on lifetime about this very thing one nite this week.i do not remember the name of it but the woman only answered the phone at her house & took messages for her a.b.f. for him to call so & so.she was with him once when he made a delivery.she had no idea he was a dealer & what he was doing. she walked in on him & his friends smoking a joint.that is when she made him move out.she was charged with dealing & ect. she could not make a deal because she did not know anything. the dealers got 4-8 yrs she got 20yrs. she got out of prison when president clinton let all those prisoners out that was given long term sentences that had no previous record,non violent charges & clean record in prison. she served 6 yrs.& had small children when she went in. this was true & it can happen to you. hugs,

cmc

Ignorance of a law is no defense..."officer, I didn't know what the speed limit was" will be of no consideration and may be even more of a detriment to the person accused.

Momsrainbow

I saw the same movie. Almost certain-no drugs in this house. Pot-used to be when I found any I would call our police and have them come and get it. I tell police friend-EVERYTHING!!!!!! Says-patience and he will crash and burn. Not much else can be done-hubby worked for one of the wealthiest men in the state and hubby got his bluff in on him-hubby does what he pleased and the man talked to his parole officer-all my lies. So trashed he got-now goes every 3 months, total bull-crap. Corrupt county here,VERY. Takes pride in being the county in the state with the most drugs.