Crash and burn???

Old 07-14-2007, 06:41 PM
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Crash and burn???

Not long ago did I make a post(heck new here and just still trying) Druugie hubby walked in the door-was supposed to be elsewhere in the state-wanting the $$$ he gave to me yesterday to pay his bills. I told him no-any investment he made no matter how much he thought he could get(been there done that) he was not getting a peeny. He went on a verbal rampage-took-what clothes he could find and said he would never talk to me again-well, thank God for that. I paid his cell phone bill-but did stop pmt.on -line. He is trashed beyond belieif. I called my police friend and he said let him crash and burn. Police friend gave him more breaks than anyone can imagine-took me to see hubby in prison-strange because he put a large amt. in this states prison symtem. Ya'll just know how much support and my $$-my mistake, with him-police say just let him crash and burn(he did it before). Thanks1
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Old 07-14-2007, 06:52 PM
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The cops are right on this one I think. He might just have to crash and burn.

What you said reminded me so much of my ex. Giving me $$ for bills and then wanting it back. Saying he will pay me back with interest..yeah, not in this lifetime! UGH!!

Just remember he did it to himself.

As they say...

You didn't cause it

You can't control it

You can't cure it.

hugs. Lisa
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Old 07-14-2007, 07:11 PM
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you are getting stronger.you did not give him money.good for you.he will go down, it is only going to get worse. it is a matter of time. just stay safe.prayers
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Old 07-14-2007, 11:03 PM
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Truly getting stronger-tiny steps at a time. Just hard to belive it happened again-6 yrs. same old thing, one more time. He really is about to crash and burn-my police friend says just wait-let "hubby" do it on his own. Just wait it out! Stay on this website!!! Not scared of hubby-but truly scared of his "friends". Just so much faith and so much love-shot to hell by drugs. I know in his own way he did love me-but he has lost his best friend in me-lost a place to go when he needed help-now he can depend on his druggie friends-best luck to them all???? Stopped pmt. on his cell phone-not about to call and see if it is shut off, should be!!!! Just trying to keep my sanity, vent and talk to someone other than family/friends-they do not understand at all. Thanks to everyone......
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Old 07-14-2007, 11:09 PM
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hang in there Moms, your doing good!

Since I cut my exabf off, I ran into his brother. All his brothers are crack-addicted. I guess him and his brother have been living here and there and getting kicked out of every place they live. the other two brothers are back in jail, probably going to prison after that. Some things just never seem to change...
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Old 07-15-2007, 03:05 AM
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You are doing well. Yes. I agree with the Crash and Burn mthod. If they don't crash and burn threy just keep on taking and using.

I have a post somewhere here where I suggest kicking them to the curb. The curb is where they belong I am afraid. They certainly do not belong in our homes, using our space, taking our money and things, and using illegal drugs which can get US PUT IN JAIL!

We need our house to live in (not to simply sleep in). We need our money to pay things like Mortgages, rent, electric, fuel, and food, not to purchase illegal drugs at the expense of everything else.
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Old 07-15-2007, 05:11 AM
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I agree to let him crash and burn. That way he has no one to blame but himself and maybe he will finally have to face what he has done to himself. You don't owe him a place to stay, a cell phone or money for drugs. He is an adult and as such is responsible for himself. I know it is hard. Everytime my daughter has lost something due to her addiction, it has hurt me. I come here and post about it and receive wonderful support. No matter how far you come practicing letting go, things can still shake you up, that is why you need to have a good support network in place. Just the other day, I found out my daughter is passing bad checks. Tried to find out where she is living, etc. Sent mefor a loop, even though I have been doing really well with my recovery. Stay strong and remember we all have slips from time to time. The important thing is to realize them and start again. Take good care of yourself because that is so important. Hugs, Marle
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Old 07-15-2007, 05:57 AM
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Got some sleep-not as bad a morning as I thought it would be. Had to hike to the gas station for laudry soap-he got my truck in his name. Dumb me. Tenants seem quiet-no company "druggies". Wonder what he is doing but I know-drugs, booze and probably his "meth *****" from years ago. Makes me physically sick-lost 35 #s in less than 2 months. Tenants will be evicted-hopefully within the week. 3 kids-3 dogs=house of drugs and druggies-(just found that out within the last 3 days)=their problem not mine. Kick him to the curb-I would rather kick him straight to prison. He has 2 huge pups here-inside that he has been get for the last 2 months-they have got to go-TODAY!!! Have eaten everything but the walls-including a leather sofa. I may be ok? Just stay on the computer-vent-learn and try to keep my sainity. Thanks all!!!!!!
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Old 07-15-2007, 06:01 AM
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Vent away. Sounds like you have your hands full. That is one thing that I am eternally grateful for. The chaos is not in my house. But I do have a house full of dogs. My choice, my loves. Hugs, Marle
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Old 07-15-2007, 06:20 AM
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sounds like you are moving forward. Yes.. to the curb is b4 to prison. LOL

I have a dog and cats but they are trained and well behaved. Having dogs and having dogs you can live with are two separate issues. You have your hands full w/o training two dogs too.

I hope the rental isn't so trashed you cannot rent it again right away. Be careful in who you get!

I have large house and have been thinking of renting a room.. the room has a pvt bath so would be very nice and there are other amenities.. But when I look at the income and the increase in basic expenses and the wear and tear and the risk of getting someone who is dishonest or addicted.. I don't follow thru. The amount of profit just isn't there where I live.

Good luck with all this. Just remember.. any assets you get in the future keep in your name only and anything you currently have get it in your name only ASAP!
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Old 07-15-2007, 06:32 AM
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Hands are more than full. My gram is 103 and our back yards join, she is in excellent health but depended on me to shop-run errands etc.-no truck-too old to hike 10 miles to the store. If I was lucky hubby would take me on Sunday-that will not happen today. Went 3 wks. with no shopping in June. Police friend shopped for gram. Rent house is another problem-police told hubby if they catch him on the property he will be arrested for criminal tresspass. A rural area and that will be hard to do. My friend the cop is fed up with it all and says I made my choices. I always whined before-called everyone but would never follow through. Hubby always turned on the charm and did the trust me, believe me and ya'll know the rest. So sorry I ever moved to Ar. just too backward and crooked for me. Can't move because of gram and could never afford it anyway. Just an old mush heart-I would help anyone that needed help-now limited to gram and neighbors. Pups have got to go-just too much for me. They ate my beautiful carpet and it cannot be repaired and I sure cannot afford a new one. I think I can deal with the hubby mess-it is all the problems he has caused that I am having a hard time with. Read on this site to keep a journal. I started that a while back on the computer. Just stressing to the very max!!!!!
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Old 07-15-2007, 06:44 AM
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((((Momsrainbow))))
We all have a bottom.. Addicts and co dependents.

Sounds like you have reached yours.
When you have reached your bottom you start to take care of YOU no matter how charming your former prince may be.

My attitude about charm is this, "Yeah Yeah Yeah.. NOW, SHOW ME THE MONEY and NO YOU CANNOT LIVE HERE!"
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Old 07-15-2007, 09:15 AM
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I agree too, the cops are totally right. Until he crashes and burns, he has no reason to want help. He's comfortable (in his addict mind) right now, and until he is uncomfortable, he will not care to change.

*hugs and prayers*
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