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I Probably Should Have Called The Sherriff

Old 06-20-2007, 03:22 PM
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I Probably Should Have Called The Sherriff

Well After I Posted About As And 15yr Old Agf Being On The Lam So To Speak, He Came Back To The House On Monday. I WAS Inside Prepping For A Endoscope, Which By The Way Was Lots Of Fun And I Would Reccomend One To Anyone. Anyway, He Came By With Agf And Started Quacking To Mrs Lake About Needing Money Again To Apply For Yet Another Job Thirty Miles Away. She Was Very Strong And Told Him She Would Not Support His Lifestyle As Long As Drugs And 15yo Agf Was A Part Of It. He Complained Of Homelessness And Hunger, Showed Her The Back Of His Truck Where They Had Been Living. She Told As To Take The Girl Home And She Would Put Enough Gas To Apply For Job. He Refused, She Fed Him Little Ceasars Pizza And Their Gone Again. I Told The Deputy I Would Call If I Saw As. However, As It Turns Out I Must Be A Liar Like My As , Because I Didnt And I Really Cant Tell You Why. I Probably Should Have, I Just Did'nt. Anyway, Its Not His Time, He Can't Seem To Get Past The Fact That Were Not Going To Let Him Live Here, With Agf, Not Work And Do Drugs. Weve Told Him Repeatedly, He Still Doesn't Get It. I Don't Know If He Ever Will. I Think His Maturity Is Stuck On 15 With Her. Its A Never Ending Viscious Cycle.
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Old 06-20-2007, 03:59 PM
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My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know how hard it is to watch your son self-destruct.
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Old 06-20-2007, 04:05 PM
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i don't think i could have made that call either. sorry it's so difficult. blessings, k
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Old 06-20-2007, 04:34 PM
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don't beat yourself up because you did not call the law. some of us takes a little bit longer than other in our recovery.you are doing good.he is not living with you,&you are not giving him money.it takes alot to be able to turn them in.still praying for you,hope
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Old 06-20-2007, 04:34 PM
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Lake, Just keep holding firm with your boundaries. Your son will get it. He will get that he can't manipulate you, guilt you, or hold you hostage to his addiction. He will get that it is his addiction and his responsibility and that you want no part of it. That is why it is called tough love It is tough, sometimes more on the parent than on the addict. But just think how many other people in your life would you put up with so much sh*t. Probably not many. Well realize that he is not your son anymore. He is an addict and do what you would do with any other unhealthy person to protect yourself. Don't feel badly about calling the sheriff. Your son will get caught and then he can't blame you. Sending prayers that your son will end up exactly where he needs to be and we both know that is not in your house. Hugs, Marle
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Old 06-20-2007, 04:40 PM
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Dont feel bad, sooner or later they will locate him. When my AH was hiding from a warrant the deputies actually told me they understood if I saw him and didnt call, just warned me not to hide him in the house if they showed
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Old 06-20-2007, 05:03 PM
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get it, give it, grow in it
 
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There is no playbook, so don't feel guilty about how you handled the last situation. We do the best we can.
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Old 06-20-2007, 05:50 PM
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Laketime,

First I wanted to add my hugs and prayers too. Second, I dont think I could have called the sherriff either. Is there anyway that you can contact the other dad and maybe just drop a line to him that you have seen his daughter? With out involving the cops?
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Old 06-20-2007, 05:54 PM
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You're still a parent regardless. My prayers are w/ you and the Mrs.
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Old 06-20-2007, 07:23 PM
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Right or wrong, I wouldn't have called either...good for your wife for standing her ground and refusing money that she knew wouldn't go for 'gas'. I look back now and can not believe some of the stories I believed of my AS..I don't even want to begin adding up the $ that I gave him that was very likely squandered away on the drugs..

Anyway, don't beat yourself up over not calling....you're not the only one who wouldn't have...
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Old 06-20-2007, 07:34 PM
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You have to set boundaries that you are willing and able to live with... I probably couldn't call the cops either. Not yet.

You said you thought he had the maturity of a 15 yr old? It's been said that an addict stops maturing when he starts using drugs at a certain level. That's why so many of them act immaturely - it's because they ARE.

Sorry for what you're going thru. Tomorrow is another day.

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Old 06-20-2007, 09:15 PM
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Lake........Its okay, You were taking care of you. Getting ready for an endoscope, I'm sure you had other things on your mind. Your son is young, his time will come. Sooner or later someone is going to catch up with that little girl and it's all going to end for both of them. Being the mother of a daughter I just wish her father knew that she was okay and still among the living. It is so hard for all involved.

Prayers for you that your test turns out good. Prayers for your son his agf and your family............Lois
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Old 06-20-2007, 09:42 PM
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Lake,
I totally understand why you didn't call the police and turn your son in. We mothers are hurting enough without having to do that. They will catch him themselves at the proper time. I believe that. Timing is very important. It's better if he doesn't get to blame you for getting arrested. He'll only be able to blame himself when it does happen. I know, because I've just gone through that a week ago and am still going through it. I thought that maybe I should several times with my son, but I kept leaving it all including the timing of his arrest in God's Hands. And I'm glad that I did.
In every way, you were very strong and you were working your recovery program just right. Keep it up. I'm really impressed with how you handled things.
((((((((((((((Understanding Hugs))))))))))))))))
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Old 06-21-2007, 03:52 AM
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I probably wouldn't have called either, but I wouldn't lie if they asked me again if I had seen him. They probably know his license number and could find him themselves if they looked hard enough.

Sometimes just stepping back and letting their life unfold without our interference is the best thing to do, most times it is. Sounds like you already know that and are doing a great job of setting boundaries.

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Old 06-21-2007, 08:36 AM
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OH Lake -

How heartbreaking!! Please don't continue to beat yourself up about not calling, as you read others replies and mine too - I don't think I could have called either.

Prayers for you & Mrs. Lake in watching your son make this journey.

Hope things go well with your healthy issues.

Rita
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Old 06-21-2007, 12:27 PM
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I know I wouldn't have been able to call either. I know it's hard, but with him not living at home, he's eventually got to get sick of this life he's leading, one would hope.

Good Luck to you and Mrs. Lake.
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