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child visitation and substance abuse questions

Old 06-14-2007, 01:33 PM
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child visitation and substance abuse questions

Does anyone know what happens in court when you go for an FRO (not even sure what that is) ? I just know that everything will be brought into civil court, and there will be no longer a RO in DV court. THis way my ah cant loose his liscene or job and I can get the right spousal support. anyway, what happens when there is a substance abuse issue and there are kids invloved as far as visitation?? will the judge order a drug test? if it comes out clean because he hasnt used in a while will that be the end of it? will there have to be supervised visitations??? someone told me the substance evvaluation process could take months...and will he not be able to see the kids during that time???
my older daugher is having a real hard time...i want them to be able to see their dad. I couldnt stand how upset she was last night...and i just feel like Im doing this to her, even though i know that im not...and she thinks that i am as well.
i know my ah has told her things that he shouldnt have and has said that i dotn want him int he house..he also said to her that i shouldnt change to order if it says that there can be contact between them through emails and phone calls..that if i change it i am only hurting them because they want to contact him....what the heck is he trying to do to our kids?????
thanks........
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:35 PM
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also, what if my husband says im crazy and these things (substance abuse and DV ) arent true????
will the judge still order the testing?
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:36 PM
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Drained every states different, and it depends if its all family court of CPS gets involved.

Also I think your husband is smart enough to cold turkey it long enough to pass a UA for this reason, and through the court system get that part dropped
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Old 06-14-2007, 01:49 PM
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what is CPS??
i dont know what kind of test they would order, but a hair test is the best because it shows how long, how much use there has been over a long period of time.
Do they ever use hair tests???? or do they usually just do urine?? what about blood tests?

If it does come out clean this will just prove to him and his family that i am not telling the truth. It will make me look like the bad guy in their eyes.
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Old 06-14-2007, 02:18 PM
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CPS is child protective services, and sadly without evidence of substance abuse they will not get involved.

Atleast in Florida Ive never seen them do anymore than urine tests, the others are two expensive. In a urine test cocaine is out of the average person's system in 3 days, my AH they said was almost clear after 2 days, he always got caught cause his tests were soo close hed miss one.

I think his plan is to make you look like the bad guy, but hey he physically came after you and your daughter intervened, doesnt that count for something? Let them think what they want, cause eventually if he doesnt get help or into a recovery program it will only get worse and all be out in the open. FOr what its worth the people in his office, although they will never say, likely already have some thoughts.

Like Catspajamas always said what other people think about you is none of your business, focus on what you know, trust your gut, hold you head high and keep your composure, no matter what they say now, some day they will all be apologizing that I am sure of, cause his problem will not go away it with progress to no longer functioning quickly, especially when work gets extra stressful
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Old 06-14-2007, 04:16 PM
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In my case, I submitted an affidavit to the court about all of his inappropriate/dangerous behavior along with any evidence I had to go with it. My xabf was order to random drug tests where they would call him/show up at his house and give him a UA. You can ask for hair tests, etc. but you would have to pay for them. During the same time as the random drug tests he was set up with a supervised visitation program where I brought my son so he could meet with xabf for an hour/week. I have my own issues about that program, but in your area it may be better. After he moved through that process he went to supervised visitation with a family member - one day a week. Eventually when he was consistently showing up, consistently passing the UA's, etc. I agreed to allow him unsupervised visitation, although I didn't have to.

Hope that helps!
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Old 06-14-2007, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by drainedwife View Post

someone told me the substance evvaluation process could take months...and will he not be able to see the kids during that time???
my older daugher is having a real hard time...i want them to be able to see their dad. .....

Hi, if he is doing a substance abuse evaluation to see if he needs treatment-that doesn't take long at all. It is basically a series of questions that he has to answer. Then he is evaluated for chemical dependency based on those answers. Many times a workplace will give an employee a leave of absence to go to in-patient treatment.

I don't know much about all those legal things you are asking about.

Have you told your daughter yet about the substance abuse issue? If you haven't, maybe you could sit down with her and tell her everything about what is going on, then she will have a full picture and this will help her sort things out in her mind and balance what she hears from her dad.

Maybe you could call a free legal aid service and get answers to some of those questions?
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Old 06-14-2007, 05:02 PM
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No legal advise here....just a little on what I am getting from your post.....your AH is doing what addicts do......they will use whatever means possible to prove that nothing is their fault and I feel that is what is happening between him and your children......documentation of the facts will be what is needed in court, so document everything, even if you don't know if it will be important or not.....be prepared....Anvilhead had some good advise for you and a place to start.....knowledge is power....

Peace,
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