alcohol_sucks

I just found out today from a friend that my exAH got remarried last week. No warning to ANYONE! Why am I letting this bother me? I guess, even though I have shown tough love, I really hoped he would someday get his act together, stop lying, etc. And now I know he has been still lying.

Plus, how will my kids react to this? He is not allowed to see the kids w/o passing a drug test first, which he still cannot do. New wife will be included in this, too, and she is a bigger problem than him.

I thought I was better, and today I feel right back where I was last year when this all started to come to light. I know I will cry tonite, get up tomorrow, and start over again. But tonite I am crying. For myself, my kids, the person that was ripped from our lives because of drugs.

I know it is time to move on, and I have come so far. So how can I get thrown back to one year ago so easily?

Sorry, just venting with no where else to go. At least the kids are in camp this week, and I have a night to cry and move on. A blessing...of healing. Maybe this will be the closure I finally need...to not feel quilty about leaving my marriage because of the actions of this drug addict. For staying would have been even more of an emotional and financial death wish.

cinderellawkids

I am so sorry. I know it hurts, I probably would have fallen to the floor out of shock, all you can do is let go, cry get it out and remember tomorrow is a new day

Cynay

Baby.... stop that...

You are human, that hurts and you have a right to hurt over it... Let it hurt so you can heal from this.

But you have not been thrown back to a year ago... This is only for this moment, you will cry, hurt, be angry and probably cry a little bit more.... but watch the recovery kick in....

It will not last as long, you understand today what is happening, you know what you need to do, you have the tools to do it.... you are better today sweets... trust that.

liesagain

I am so sorry you are going thru this. It hurts and I'd bet it causes a bad case of the what if's but really you know what shes getting with your X and dont worry time will tell and in the end you will see that she didnt get the prize.......keep working on you and you'll be srtonger and happier in the end
hugs

greeteachday

I'm sorry you are going through and can certainly understand why such an unexpected action could hit you so hard. Feeling those emotions will help you move forward. You and your kids deserve the best and it will be there for you. Sending lots of hugs, I'm really sorry you are hurting today.

CatsPajamas

I totally understand ... it's a mix of feelings that gang up on you all at once. I had a similar experience and I remember thinking HOW DARE HE move on and make a happy life with someone else??? Although I wouldn't have taken him back for anything.

This is the only place where I can say that, and a dozen people will nod their heads in agreement because they understand.

Allow yourself to feel the feelings, and grieve the loss of the dream. As my good friend Ann says - the difference between a bad day and a good day is about 2 days....

There will be good days ahead for you, I'm sure.

Hugs
Cts

just for today

I hope that you are feeling better today.......I, too, went through a similar experience and even though I was ready (or so I thought) to move on with my life, it hurt and what hurt the most for me was really accepting that the life I had dreamed of with him when we married was truly just a dream on my part.....A dream that you put your whole heart and soul into only to have it crash around you because of addiction......But let me tell you that after the tears, will come a relief that you no longer have to deal with all of stress that comes from loving an addict.....and you can now be really free to move on with your life.....you and your kids deserve so much better than he was willing to give.....

Peace,

BigSis

((((alcohol sucks))))


The thing that has helped me most is Alanon meetings - lots of 'em. They have helped me become a stronger, happier, wiser person.

You might consider finding some in your area... or, if you are alredy attending... to double up on the meetings. They really are a life saver.