teke

i don't know jewelz, i remember when i was where you are, i realized that it was better for me to do it on my own alone rather than to continue to do the same thing but under unnessessary stress. maybe its time to really think about setting boundaries that you can stick to. you do deserve to have a better life. if you are not ready to physically seperate, maybe its time for you to make some plans just in case you decide that you need to seperate physically.

it won't get any better, i almost lost my mind, waiting. the choice is yours and when you are ready and sick enough, then you will know it and you will act on what you know. try to settle down and not focus on what he is or is not doing right now, it only causes you harm. it does get better but its up to you to make it better for you

cinderellawkids

Jewelz I feel the same way. Ah always has one excuse or another not to work. Im thankful just for today atleast he's not in my home, but then either house is my home. Im thankful just for today he's not laying on my couch.
Today he's not even concerned that my vehicles screwing up, kids are sick or anything, and Im pretty sure he has cash. I bet he went to the store bought some groceries for himself a 12 pack of beer and...... the rest of the story we all know.

cinderellawkids

My boss and I were just talking. AH comes with a reason to call me for his emotional high. He has two DOCs the main and me, like he's my DOC. Next he'll come looking for sex. I know he will. Ill say NO. He'll be crushed and therefore have another excuse to start the cycle over again.

It angers me, that to him its more important for me to ahve the cell phone I pay for than me driving the messed up stalling out car with kids to have the cell. That tells me a lot about who he is and his selfishness makes me angry. Of course Im sure he sees it as me being selfish

cinderellawkids

Teke, I forgot to ask how your back was feeling? I hope its okay.
Did you say you got a web cam? I think my mini digicam works as a web cam with ***** mesanger but Ive not tried it

cinderellawkids

Kat, poor thing you take care of everyone. Make sure you get some time for you

teke

ok cinder, i think that the cell phone thing is just another excuse, yeah he may not have a phone there but why do he need one, so he can call you when he feels like it or his buddies. i would that that too personal either and try not to feel bad about it, if he really wants a cell phone, he would do what you did to get one, don't you think? just an excuse, he cares but he probably feels like he is already begging and his pride may not allow him to do that too much right now, so he'll come up with something to ask for.

cinderellawkids

He wants the phone so he can call ads in paper for jobs. Allegedly they waitied two days at day labor and no call outs.

I dont believe that

teke

i think the choice is yours, there were times when i just could not rely on my rah to help with the kids even when he did have a job, he would spend all of the money on a binge and i finally got to the place where i felt that he was not working for anything but for him and his doc, so i decided to let him figure how he was gonna work too.

i think that unless you want to give up your cell, then its not your responsibity, in my opinion, he wouldnt' have that problem if he had made better choices. maybe you could ask yourself who needs the cell more, you and the kids traveling in your car as is , or him. just a thought. its good that he wants to work, but is it your responsibility for you to be there to help him find work

cinderellawkids

No its not my responsibility. He had a good thing staying here, me driving him to work and taking 300 to 450 a week from him (120 went to gass and alot of the rest food. ) He is the one who chose to screw it up and that is the only reason he needs to now find a job. He can get his cell turned on for $30.

I bet if he wanted too and worked hard enough he could bum that, couple bucks here and there from strangers you know. I still think he has the money or atleast he has had money in the past 24 hours.

Its sad, if he had just missed that weekend from screwing up, had just not taken the car, even if he relapsed the following week he wouldnt have been where he is today. To me that my HP saying detach, get away. Because I strongly feel that Friday he made the choice to have the car, to take his brother with him and to join ina few beers. He was mentally clear enough to get me quickly at lunch time and give me $300 So I think he knew what he was doing. He didnt make a mistake, he made a choice

cinderellawkids

Thanks anvil and yes he's managed. In his profession he could work 4 days a month and make enough for the bills over there at that house (morg, power, water and food) and I bet thats what he'll do.

I didnt have his work jeans but I did go through everything else and dropped it off this morning.

He had walked to his moms and used her cell to call me, apparently. Im not asking her, we arent going there. I think it will only cause issues between us and I dont want if either one of us is weak for it to effect the other one

cinderellawkids

Howd the puppy do

cinderellawkids

You guys would be proud. We are having first real dinner in 10 days. Porkchops breaded and baked, corn and mashed potatos (instant)
After we eat we are going to watch a faith based video on "What will I do with my life."

teke

thats ok cinder about him walking to his moms to use the phone, now he knows where he can make his calls, hope its not too far of a walk, he'll probably get tired of doing that. stay strong, i'm cheering you on and dinner sounds good. i'm so proud of you and you should be too. why not just give yourself a good pat on the back, for me.

teke

anvil, i was thinking the same thing but just didn't want to say it, about the puppy being a good reason to stay clean. i'm glad that you and hank are enjoying him, it is a him right?

Ann

This thread continues on "Penny For Your Thoughts...Part 4"

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-4-a.html