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Do I laugh or cry

Old 03-16-2007, 07:37 PM
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Do I laugh or cry

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry at this..AD just text an told me this....

" I've went through detox now an don't need any help since that's the hardest part. The reason we started using again was that's the only way we could see each other. Since we didn't have a car to use. " She also went on to say " since we couldn't go to the movies or anything with out a car we got bored. "

I was like for Christ sake is that the best you could come up with? Does she actually believe this? There really is no reasoning with her when she is like this, are they all that way when they are using ? You'd never guess she use to be smart an quick witted.
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Old 03-16-2007, 08:03 PM
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She is smart and witted...You're just more sane.lol

Yes...my GF was like that too.
She came home one night after gambling. Told me she had to go to
the gas station. (midnight). i tried .lol
You know....wtf would she need to go get gas so damn bad for.

I didn't see her again until the next night...all sad, broke and down of course.
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Old 03-16-2007, 08:04 PM
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I found that once I had more understanding of addiction and my role in it, my daughter had a harder time sounding convincing. Perhaps that is because I no longer had blinders on. Sometimes I did almost laugh at how ridiculous the reasons sounded. But I think that once an addict starts using again, they are so deep in denial that they don't realize how it sounds. In their world it makes some sense. Blame anything or anyone to avoid having to face the shame and guilt or the reality that you are powerless over the drugs. This is such a powerful diseaese and it causes such damage to body and mind. Drugs eat away at the soul...so sad. Sending prayers for all of you.
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Old 03-16-2007, 11:27 PM
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I just can't believe how OFTEN I fell for the outrageous stories... I found out I am FAR more gullible than I ever imagined.

I am sorry she is still deluded and in denial. I pray she can find some clarity soon.

((hugs))
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Old 03-17-2007, 02:54 AM
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yeppp,, addicts always try o find a way to justifiy thier behaving,, well
this is one thing,, theymay trick us,, which happend to m many times lol lol lol i fall in the stroriies lol..not so much anymore but few years before lol more often,, and even now sometims and ohhh it makes me so mad lol when i find truth.\
but there is only one thing is good about this
when they try to trick us they only trick themselfs lol
just stay optimisic!! i know itshard but u can do it!
sending u hugs!!
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Old 03-17-2007, 05:26 AM
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yep, i think addicts have a language of their own. once i got clean and was really focused on what i needed to do to stay clean, some of the biggest laughs that i had, and i still do sometimes, is remembering some that out landish stuff that use to come out of my mouth, a lot of the time i can't believe i said the stuff myself. i pray that she changes her mind about leaving the rehab, and if she does, hopefully she'll have a change to recogzine some of the excuses that she has been making to herself and recognize them for what they are. keeping all of you in my prayers
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Old 03-17-2007, 05:52 AM
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What is the longest clean time she has had? My RAD had 7 months, then relapsed. She went to detox for 3 days,cuz she couldn't get off the heroin on her own. On monday she will have 30 days clean again. She was supposed to go to out paitent counseling, set up an appt & didn't show. Now as of march 8 she no longer has insurence. My gut tells me she is indeed clean for now. I think she could be better, could be worse. But with 7 months behind her I know she has learned the tools she needs to stay clean if she so chooses.
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:03 AM
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teke..
She's not in rehab I wish she were, she says she went through detox meaning she had been sick for 4 days from withdrawl, So she was explaining why she started using again a month after getting out of jail. Was trying to make me see that she had a good reason an it wouldn't happen again so therefore she didn't need rehab or any help at all.

Gee..if we had only let her use our car an gave her money it never would have happened...LOL.. I'm sure everyone here knows how I feel I laugh now but, then I cry to at seeing her so lost in her addiction that she actually seems to believe this..
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:05 AM
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Shook my head on that one.

I also pray for her.
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:14 AM
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Longest clean time she has had well she was in jail for 2 months got out on Dec 20th not sure when it started but I know she was using by Jan 29th. She has never been to rehab but was court ordered to see drug councilor once a week which she has been doing, but as you can see didn't work.
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:22 AM
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Originally Posted by lostparent View Post
teke..
She's not in rehab I wish she were, she says she went through detox meaning she had been sick for 4 days from withdrawl, So she was explaining why she started using again a month after getting out of jail. Was trying to make me see that she had a good reason an it wouldn't happen again so therefore she didn't need rehab or any help at all.

Gee..if we had only let her use our car an gave her money it never would have happened...LOL.. I'm sure everyone here knows how I feel I laugh now but, then I cry to at seeing her so lost in her addiction that she actually seems to believe this..

ok, sorry, but still, most detox that i've ever gone through, and its been a few, they do introduce you to the program and have meetings, how long have she been there and how long will she be there? most of the time that i tried to get clean, i couldn't go to inhouse treatment, cause i still had the kids to take care of, so i had to take what i got in detox and try to stay sober just from that.

i know that it sounds bad right now, but for everyday that she's there, there is still the chance that she can hear something that will change her mind, and maybe not. if she's sharing with anybody, then the way she's thinking is bound to get addressed.

try not to feel bad for not lending her the car and giving her money, its not your fault. have you ever thought that if you had lend her the car and gave her money, that it could have ended being something a whole lot worse that it was. it IS possible that you not giving in, could have saved her from another kind of danger that could have caused her, her life. THINK ABOUT TAHT FOR A MINUTE. god knows when the time is right for her, she's in his hands, he knows what its gonna take to bring her around and he knows how to keep her safe in the process, don't you think? still praying for you and your daughter too.
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:31 AM
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She hasn't went any where she just calls lying around in her room getting sick detox. Maybe it is I don't know ..point is she thinks she doesn't need any help she can do it on her own..well she can't she's proven that...your right she is in Gods hands cause I feel he's the only one that can help her now..
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:35 AM
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is she at home detox or institution detox? maybe she is not ready yet, but oh what a difference a day can make, try to go on your faith, and i'll believe with you that even though she thinks that she can do it on her own, that she'll soon realize that she can't.
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:39 AM
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What is her DOC? As Teke asked, is she detoxing on her own at home?
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:50 AM
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From what I can see she is doing it herself at home and thinks since she went through the detox she is completly fine. Addicts lie to themselves just as much as they lie to others.
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Old 03-17-2007, 06:55 AM
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My daughter came to us before Christmas, told me she was clean and wanted to go to rehab. Okay got her some info and told her to call. She didn't. Another 10 weeks go by without hearing from her. She calls and comes over and says that she wants rehab. I give her the info again. Ask why she did not go before Christmas. She told me that she lied, that she was still using, but this time she is not. (Yeah right). Guess who she is blaming for her using. The abf. Seems he just keeps buying her the drugs. She does not know the dealers and if she left him and we cleaned up her mess she could not get drugs because she does not have the connections, he does. Also it is my fault that she continued to use after the December visit because I would not let her continue to come over and visit us. Duh, I did not let her come over because she was using and lying about it. It is a Catch 22 and you can't win with an active addict. If 2 and 2 don't add up to 4 then you need to just back away. That is what I do. Just frustrates me and doesn't make any difference to her. Some addicts need to try it all before they are willing to admit that they can't do it themselves. I pray that both of our daughters end up where they need to be to admit they are powerless over their drugs and want to get help. Hugs, Marle
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Old 03-17-2007, 12:23 PM
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kj0975... Thanks you got it right she is doing it herself at home or so she says, at this point I don't believe much she says. ......helpus...Her DOC is heroin now I guess but it use to be crack...Marle.. I have been following your post on your daughter an praying for her, wish I could be as strong as you are but I still fall for the sob stories sometimes.... But I am slowly getting better, it's easier if I don't have to look at her..when I'm looking at her I see the girl that use to be an it's harder to stay strong...
Thanks for all the hugs an prayers

Connie
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Old 03-17-2007, 12:34 PM
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Sounds like bigtime quacking. It's almost as good as "I only smoked cracked because I was out of cigarettes and there was nothing else to smoke".
Hugs and prayers coming your way.
Love, SM
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Old 03-17-2007, 01:05 PM
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I'm pretty sure her counselor mention to her
about attending NA or AA.

I'm sorry, Lost.
I put my mother through hell....
My mother bailed my arss out of jail a couple of times.
The woman got on he knee and bag me to stopped.
But I didn't.
It hurted her so much, She had to dis-own me
I put an extra ten years on that woman.

The only way I can ever make amends to her was
to stay clean and sober one day at a time.

I had to graduate..lol
I graduated from sleeping in my car to sleeping at
the side of the house.
Then I graduate to sleeping on the patio.
Then I gradutate to sleeping on the floor of the din.
Then I graduate to sleeping on the couch.
Never made it my old room though.lmaf

I didn't have a courtcards.
But I told my mother that I was attending meetings.
Sher didn't know anything about recovery.
But the woman waked my ass up everyday and make
me go to a meetings everyday. I attended 3-4 meetings
a day. That was all my responsiblity at that time.
And maybe some chores when I had as a kid.
She didn't really get into it with me, but mom
was wacthing my every move.lol Gradually, I started
reading recovery books, write in my journal. i started
working the 12 steps of recovery. Got a sponsor
I also had curfue..15 mins after what meetings
I attended ended.

Back when...she gave $2..a day..lol
I use to make $1500 a week at a job I walked away from.
$1 for ciggs..
$1 for my gas for my motorcycle, i rided that damn thing
all day long, just so i stay out of town and out of trouble.
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Old 03-17-2007, 01:08 PM
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i hope she realizes soon she can not do this alone.hugs,hope
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