Do I laugh or cry
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
SaTiT.....Quote--"But the woman waked my ass up everyday and make
me go to a meetings everyday. I attended 3-4 meetings
a day. That was all my responsiblity at that time."
Sounds like you have alot of respest for your Mom.
Did it help that she did this? I mean did it help that she was on your ass making you go. Cause I'm never sure if I should get on AD to do stuff or just remind her an let the chips fall where they may.
It's great that your doing good now, bet she is real proud of you.
me go to a meetings everyday. I attended 3-4 meetings
a day. That was all my responsiblity at that time."
Sounds like you have alot of respest for your Mom.
Did it help that she did this? I mean did it help that she was on your ass making you go. Cause I'm never sure if I should get on AD to do stuff or just remind her an let the chips fall where they may.
It's great that your doing good now, bet she is real proud of you.
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Yup, I would just shake my head and not try to understand it! It just won't work.
I just visited my AD after more than a year of her telling us we were dead to her and she did not want us in her or grandbaby's life. Her eyes were so dilated. I could have put on my make-up in the reflection! lol
All she talked about the whole time was how great she was doing and how she didn't need to use drugs or drink anymore because of "how great she was doing". It was such an oversell that I could see right through it. The main thing is that She could NOT so there was no reason to even dispute it. She just wouldn't "get it".
This codie kept her mouth shut and used the opportunity to spend a little time with my granddaughter.
Until your AD can "get it"; it really doesn't matter if anyone else does.
I just visited my AD after more than a year of her telling us we were dead to her and she did not want us in her or grandbaby's life. Her eyes were so dilated. I could have put on my make-up in the reflection! lol
All she talked about the whole time was how great she was doing and how she didn't need to use drugs or drink anymore because of "how great she was doing". It was such an oversell that I could see right through it. The main thing is that She could NOT so there was no reason to even dispute it. She just wouldn't "get it".
This codie kept her mouth shut and used the opportunity to spend a little time with my granddaughter.
Until your AD can "get it"; it really doesn't matter if anyone else does.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
Glad you got to see you Grandbaby..Sorry your daughter is still using. Your right I don't think there's anything I can say to her at this point that will help. It's clear with an excuse like that, that she is still thinking ( or not thinking as the case maybe) as an addict. Do wonder if I had got on her more before she went back to if it would have made an differance. Cause since she got out of jail I have really be trying hard to stay out of it, would reminder her of appointments, fines that needed paid an other things, but then would drop it. Was just letting her make her own choices an trying real hard to keep my mouth shut.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((Lost)))))
Just wanted to send my support and prayers to you today. All of us have "those" stories. The ones that our addicts tell to justify using. It s*cks! Now he drinks cause he lives with his alcoholic dad, and he lives there cause he had nowhere else to go after I chose my husband over him and kicked him out.
He's better at not blaming me anymore, but still needs some sort of treatment. He also says he can do it on his own. Says that being around a bunch of junkies/alkies, would just add fuel to the fire. Whatever!
Many prayers up for you and your daughter. Stay strong and focused.
Just wanted to send my support and prayers to you today. All of us have "those" stories. The ones that our addicts tell to justify using. It s*cks! Now he drinks cause he lives with his alcoholic dad, and he lives there cause he had nowhere else to go after I chose my husband over him and kicked him out.
He's better at not blaming me anymore, but still needs some sort of treatment. He also says he can do it on his own. Says that being around a bunch of junkies/alkies, would just add fuel to the fire. Whatever!
Many prayers up for you and your daughter. Stay strong and focused.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere, out there...
Posts: 512
connie, et al;
i so understand trying to listen to what the person is saying and feeling *do i laugh or do i cry* i know that my sister would never talk to me when she was doing whatever because i would call her on every little thing - i don't think she ever said anything as absurd as your daughter but there were times when my head must have spun completely around because she would look at me like - well - insane...
how do you - in your own head i mean - stop from freaking out when you haven't had contact with them for awhile? - i just can't imagine after motnhs of no contact with my sister just being able to listen to her and not react - maybe by the time i do hear from her i can - i don't know - just wanted to let you know i'm sorry you have to go trhough this - any of this - but we'll help each other through - ok???
i think i'm going to need alot of help...
love,
s
i so understand trying to listen to what the person is saying and feeling *do i laugh or do i cry* i know that my sister would never talk to me when she was doing whatever because i would call her on every little thing - i don't think she ever said anything as absurd as your daughter but there were times when my head must have spun completely around because she would look at me like - well - insane...
how do you - in your own head i mean - stop from freaking out when you haven't had contact with them for awhile? - i just can't imagine after motnhs of no contact with my sister just being able to listen to her and not react - maybe by the time i do hear from her i can - i don't know - just wanted to let you know i'm sorry you have to go trhough this - any of this - but we'll help each other through - ok???
i think i'm going to need alot of help...
love,
s
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Yes it did, Lost.
Becuase i didn't want to attend those meetings.
I was in a major , rut. I rahter sleep and go into
my depression and self pity.
As i said, I had to gradutate. if I came home late.
I had to sleep outside on the patio...She locked all the doors.
If I woke up late outside, i had to hop in the pool to clean myself.lol
After a while , she make me get up every moring like everyone else.
She had to go to work. I had to go do my work (atten meetings and work
on my recovery, it was a full time job for me). I basically wasn't allow
back in the house until after work hours.
She didn't get into it with me..
Probably becuase i was beaten by the disease.
plus I'm a mama's boy.lmaf
Yes..i know, but that's just where i was at , at that time.
Mama's recovery center.lmaf
I needed structure in my life again. I 'm also ex-military.
Drugs and alcohol abuse took my self discipline away. Gradually I retained those things.
Becuase i didn't want to attend those meetings.
I was in a major , rut. I rahter sleep and go into
my depression and self pity.
As i said, I had to gradutate. if I came home late.
I had to sleep outside on the patio...She locked all the doors.
If I woke up late outside, i had to hop in the pool to clean myself.lol
After a while , she make me get up every moring like everyone else.
She had to go to work. I had to go do my work (atten meetings and work
on my recovery, it was a full time job for me). I basically wasn't allow
back in the house until after work hours.
She didn't get into it with me..
Probably becuase i was beaten by the disease.
plus I'm a mama's boy.lmaf
Yes..i know, but that's just where i was at , at that time.
Mama's recovery center.lmaf
I needed structure in my life again. I 'm also ex-military.
Drugs and alcohol abuse took my self discipline away. Gradually I retained those things.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Lost,
Just another mama here adding hugs and prayers for you and your AD. Bless her heart, she has no clue how ridiculous her stories sound. NONE of our addicts know ... until they seek recovery and have some clean time under their belt.
In the meantime, remember to take healthy care of you. And if you don't attend meetings, I'd recommend finding one. Best thing I ever did was find face to face meetings where I could actually spend time with folks who could identify with what I was feeling and talking about. I call them "God with skin on 'em".
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Just another mama here adding hugs and prayers for you and your AD. Bless her heart, she has no clue how ridiculous her stories sound. NONE of our addicts know ... until they seek recovery and have some clean time under their belt.
In the meantime, remember to take healthy care of you. And if you don't attend meetings, I'd recommend finding one. Best thing I ever did was find face to face meetings where I could actually spend time with folks who could identify with what I was feeling and talking about. I call them "God with skin on 'em".
Hugs,
Hangin' In
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