My Meeting with my Attorney
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I am not a romantic, and because of that have probably missed out on some things in life.
But as pragmatic as I am, I could not divorce Mr. Big. For me, losing the marriage was a big neon sign that flashed "FAILURE! FAILURE! FAILURE!". I was determined to stay with him ....at ALL costs. And it cost me more than I ever imagined.
Some of the "values" I have around marriage are not rational and through the insight I've gained from Alanon, I can say that some of these came to me from growing up in the chaos of alcoholism. That insight is helping me determine a good way to live the rest of my life.... without the label of success or failure.
The feelings I felt when Mr. Big and I divorced was an overwhelming sense of grief. I didn't recognize it then, or know why it was so strong when any reasonable person would have seen our divorce as a positive for all concerned. Alanon has helped me understand why I have such a fear of failure and put those feelings into perspective.
But as pragmatic as I am, I could not divorce Mr. Big. For me, losing the marriage was a big neon sign that flashed "FAILURE! FAILURE! FAILURE!". I was determined to stay with him ....at ALL costs. And it cost me more than I ever imagined.
Some of the "values" I have around marriage are not rational and through the insight I've gained from Alanon, I can say that some of these came to me from growing up in the chaos of alcoholism. That insight is helping me determine a good way to live the rest of my life.... without the label of success or failure.
The feelings I felt when Mr. Big and I divorced was an overwhelming sense of grief. I didn't recognize it then, or know why it was so strong when any reasonable person would have seen our divorce as a positive for all concerned. Alanon has helped me understand why I have such a fear of failure and put those feelings into perspective.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
I mean the saying “Let Go and Let God” is giving our will and life over to another.
Is that a expectation also that he will take care of it?
Is that a expectation also that he will take care of it?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Wooohoooo
Sounds to me like God is already takking care of you... he gives you the gifts and its up to you if you want to accept them and go on to live a happy, healthy life. You dont have to accept them, you could stay caught up in the chaos of your ex... though maybe God did for you what he did for me.
I would not have left that relationship... nope, I would have beat my head against the wall for alot longer then I did and been misserable and made everyone around me just as unhappy. SO... when I asked for intervention ... he gave it. Next thing I know he does not want to be with me?? shock...... Maybe that is what he did for you too, took you away from it BEFORE you completely lost you.
Count your blessings... sounds like a lovely blond attorney is just the thing you need right now... which is not always the same as what we want.
*hugs* Just keep moving forward. One day at a time.
Sounds to me like God is already takking care of you... he gives you the gifts and its up to you if you want to accept them and go on to live a happy, healthy life. You dont have to accept them, you could stay caught up in the chaos of your ex... though maybe God did for you what he did for me.
I would not have left that relationship... nope, I would have beat my head against the wall for alot longer then I did and been misserable and made everyone around me just as unhappy. SO... when I asked for intervention ... he gave it. Next thing I know he does not want to be with me?? shock...... Maybe that is what he did for you too, took you away from it BEFORE you completely lost you.
Count your blessings... sounds like a lovely blond attorney is just the thing you need right now... which is not always the same as what we want.
*hugs* Just keep moving forward. One day at a time.
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