Papers
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Dazed....
O.K. , then...…
No humans. no cats/dogs. Gotcha!
You are a writer.....if, only, you could write out every awful feeling that you have inside you, right now.....
A nugget-----At the pinnacle of the pain...there is no consolation...there can be no consolation---only expression and outpouring of feeling....
O.K. , then...…
No humans. no cats/dogs. Gotcha!
You are a writer.....if, only, you could write out every awful feeling that you have inside you, right now.....
A nugget-----At the pinnacle of the pain...there is no consolation...there can be no consolation---only expression and outpouring of feeling....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by dandylion 
Dazed....
O.K. , then...…
No humans. no cats/dogs. Gotcha!
You are a writer.....if, only, you could write out every awful feeling that you have inside you, right now.....
A nugget-----At the pinnacle of the pain...there is no consolation...there can be no consolation---only expression and outpouring of feeling....
O.K. , then...…
No humans. no cats/dogs. Gotcha!
You are a writer.....if, only, you could write out every awful feeling that you have inside you, right now.....
A nugget-----At the pinnacle of the pain...there is no consolation...there can be no consolation---only expression and outpouring of feeling....
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by trailmix
Hey we are humans! 
And a nice bunch of people too I must say. I'm glad you joined us here dazed.
And a nice bunch of people too I must say. I'm glad you joined us here dazed.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
Oh ok good we are still going on the trip.
You had me worried there for a moment when you posted that Id rather be alone stuff.
BTW while we are on the trip I can tell you my entire story start to finish (well to date cause who knows when it will be finished). LOL
You had me worried there for a moment when you posted that Id rather be alone stuff.
BTW while we are on the trip I can tell you my entire story start to finish (well to date cause who knows when it will be finished). LOL
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by HardLessons
Oh ok good we are still going on the trip.
You had me worried there for a moment when you posted that Id rather be alone stuff.
BTW while we are on the trip I can tell you my entire story start to finish (well to date cause who knows when it will be finished). LOL
You had me worried there for a moment when you posted that Id rather be alone stuff.
BTW while we are on the trip I can tell you my entire story start to finish (well to date cause who knows when it will be finished). LOL
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by HardLessons
Oh ok good we are still going on the trip.
You had me worried there for a moment when you posted that Id rather be alone stuff.
BTW while we are on the trip I can tell you my entire story start to finish (well to date cause who knows when it will be finished). LOL
You had me worried there for a moment when you posted that Id rather be alone stuff.
BTW while we are on the trip I can tell you my entire story start to finish (well to date cause who knows when it will be finished). LOL
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,432
He still thinks you will change your mind, especially when he hits you with guilt trips about you not minding that "he is sad and spiritually dead" as you reported in an earlier post. (#7)
I'd take pasta and puppy to your space and shut the door. But expect some intense efforts to avoid signing so a Sunday or Monday morning deadline will serve you best here.
I'd take pasta and puppy to your space and shut the door. But expect some intense efforts to avoid signing so a Sunday or Monday morning deadline will serve you best here.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
He still thinks you will change your mind, especially when he hits you with guilt trips about you not minding that "he is sad and spiritually dead" as you reported in an earlier post. (#7)
I'd take pasta and puppy to your space and shut the door. But expect some intense efforts to avoid signing so a Sunday or Monday morning deadline will serve you best here.
I'd take pasta and puppy to your space and shut the door. But expect some intense efforts to avoid signing so a Sunday or Monday morning deadline will serve you best here.
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
If you need inspiration such as what living with long term progressive alcoholism means even beyond what you have been going through , check out Hopework's threads.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I feel punished for giving my best.
actually it just didn't have the ending YOU hoped for. you still GAVE of yourself - probably too much, but your gesture and actions are not negated. and you did both benefit from those actions over the years.
but over the years your husband had an addiction that grew and grew, progression they call it. he did not ASK to be an addict, no one does. the problem is by the time anyone realizes without a doubt that they ARE addicted, well.......now they have a geat big gorilla on their back and it has a tenacious grip. and that gorilla says - look, you NEED me, you WANT to use, come on, it will be fun. all your cares and troubles will go away. trussssst me. don't listen to them. what do they know? no one knows you better than i do. i'm right here for you.
your AH is not willing to go into the "Gorilla Removal" program. he just hasn't fed the gorilla for a couple weeks. he and the gorilla are convinced you are just making noise and if they hold out, you'll go back to taking care of them, and fluffing their pillows, and making their lives better. and he can quit pretending to want to be sober and all that hoo hah.
this is where the new chapter starts. the whole world is still there for you. and you can do all that you dreamed and wished and hoped, and even things you could not do while with the AH. i see your cruise of the orient with hardlessons like a remake of the African Queen!!!
actually it just didn't have the ending YOU hoped for. you still GAVE of yourself - probably too much, but your gesture and actions are not negated. and you did both benefit from those actions over the years.
but over the years your husband had an addiction that grew and grew, progression they call it. he did not ASK to be an addict, no one does. the problem is by the time anyone realizes without a doubt that they ARE addicted, well.......now they have a geat big gorilla on their back and it has a tenacious grip. and that gorilla says - look, you NEED me, you WANT to use, come on, it will be fun. all your cares and troubles will go away. trussssst me. don't listen to them. what do they know? no one knows you better than i do. i'm right here for you.
your AH is not willing to go into the "Gorilla Removal" program. he just hasn't fed the gorilla for a couple weeks. he and the gorilla are convinced you are just making noise and if they hold out, you'll go back to taking care of them, and fluffing their pillows, and making their lives better. and he can quit pretending to want to be sober and all that hoo hah.
this is where the new chapter starts. the whole world is still there for you. and you can do all that you dreamed and wished and hoped, and even things you could not do while with the AH. i see your cruise of the orient with hardlessons like a remake of the African Queen!!!
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
I feel punished for giving my best.
actually it just didn't have the ending YOU hoped for. you still GAVE of yourself - probably too much, but your gesture and actions are not negated. and you did both benefit from those actions over the years.
but over the years your husband had an addiction that grew and grew, progression they call it. he did not ASK to be an addict, no one does. the problem is by the time anyone realizes without a doubt that they ARE addicted, well.......now they have a geat big gorilla on their back and it has a tenacious grip. and that gorilla says - look, you NEED me, you WANT to use, come on, it will be fun. all your cares and troubles will go away. trussssst me. don't listen to them. what do they know? no one knows you better than i do. i'm right here for you.
your AH is not willing to go into the "Gorilla Removal" program. he just hasn't fed the gorilla for a couple weeks. he and the gorilla are convinced you are just making noise and if they hold out, you'll go back to taking care of them, and fluffing their pillows, and making their lives better. and he can quit pretending to want to be sober and all that hoo hah.
this is where the new chapter starts. the whole world is still there for you. and you can do all that you dreamed and wished and hoped, and even things you could not do while with the AH. i see your cruise of the orient with hardlessons like a remake of the African Queen!!!
actually it just didn't have the ending YOU hoped for. you still GAVE of yourself - probably too much, but your gesture and actions are not negated. and you did both benefit from those actions over the years.
but over the years your husband had an addiction that grew and grew, progression they call it. he did not ASK to be an addict, no one does. the problem is by the time anyone realizes without a doubt that they ARE addicted, well.......now they have a geat big gorilla on their back and it has a tenacious grip. and that gorilla says - look, you NEED me, you WANT to use, come on, it will be fun. all your cares and troubles will go away. trussssst me. don't listen to them. what do they know? no one knows you better than i do. i'm right here for you.
your AH is not willing to go into the "Gorilla Removal" program. he just hasn't fed the gorilla for a couple weeks. he and the gorilla are convinced you are just making noise and if they hold out, you'll go back to taking care of them, and fluffing their pillows, and making their lives better. and he can quit pretending to want to be sober and all that hoo hah.
this is where the new chapter starts. the whole world is still there for you. and you can do all that you dreamed and wished and hoped, and even things you could not do while with the AH. i see your cruise of the orient with hardlessons like a remake of the African Queen!!!
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Location: W Washington
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dazed, i hope i did this linkie thing right....this was MY story of when it was time to move out - however in this tale i was the one to move out.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6785839 (collaboration vs disengagement)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6785839 (collaboration vs disengagement)
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
dazed, i hope i did this linkie thing right....this was MY story of when it was time to move out - however in this tale i was the one to move out.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6785839 (collaboration vs disengagement)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6785839 (collaboration vs disengagement)
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